|11 Jul 1812
|The United States invades Canada, something we should consider doing more often.
|15 Sep 1885
|P.T. Barnum's prize elephant Jumbo is struck dead by a freight train in St. Thomas, Ontario, Canada. It takes 150 men to haul the carcass up an embankment, which is later taken to a taxidermist. The stuffed Jumbo becomes a featured attraction in Barnum's circus.
|31 Dec 1916
|Forty-five retarded girls die in a fire at the St. Ferdinand de Halifax convent asylum in Canada.
|6 Dec 1917
|At 9:05 AM, the munitions ship Mont Blanc explodes in Halifax harbor after being struck by another ship. It is the largest explosion before the atomic age. The ship was carrying 200 tons of TNT, 61 tons of gun cotton, 35 tons of Benzyl, and 2,300 tons of picric acid; the explosion destroys 325 acres of the city, leaving 1,900 people dead and injuring over 9,000.
|22 Jan 1918
|Manitoba, Canada, film censor board decides to ban comedies, on the grounds that they make audiences "too frivolous".
|24 Apr 1928
|The Supreme Court of Canada declares that though women are indeed legal "persons," they are nevertheless ineligible to serve in the Canadian Senate. The Court agreed that the term "person" applies equally to humans of both genders, but the British North America Act referred specifically to "fit and qualified persons"—necessarily excluding unfit and unqualified people (aka females).
|28 May 1934
|The Dionne Quintuplets are born. All survive, and in a show of concern for the Quints' welfare, the government of Ontario takes the children from their parents and puts them into a hospital from 1934 to 1943, which is renamed "Quintland", where admission is charged for tourists to come see the Quintuplets behind glass. Over 3 million visitors stop by to gawk over the 9 years, until the parents win back the rights to their children. It is estimated a half-billion dollars is made in the tourist trade around Quintland.
|8 Feb 1960
|Beer heir Adolph Coors III (who was ironically allergic to beer), killed after a failed kidnapping attempt in Colorado. By October, Joseph Corbett Jr. is arrested in Canada after an national manhunt.
|27 Feb 1977
|Rolling Stone Keith Richards arrested in Toronto, Canada with his girlfriend Anita Pallenberg for possession of heroin. Found guilty at trial over one year later, he manages to get off with a suspended sentence plus benefit concerts for the blind.
|24 Jan 1978
|The nuclear-powered Soviet Cosmos 954 satellite plunges through Earth's atmosphere and disintegrates, scattering radioactive debris over parts of Canada's Northwest Territories. Much of the satellite lands in the Great Slave Lake; only about 1% of the radioactive material is recovered.
|28 May 1981
|Former Milwaukee police officer and Playboy bunny Laurie "Bambi" Bemenek breaks into the house of her husband's ex-wife and murders her. Prosecutors will claim that Bemenek was incensed over the amount of alimony her husband was paying. Bambi later escapes from prison in 1990, fleeing to Canada.
|6 Dec 1989
|Malcontent Marc Lepine massacres 14 women at L'Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal.
|5 Oct 1994
|Predicting that the world would soon end in an environmental disaster, homeopath Luc Jouret and 52 others belonging to his Order of the Solar Temple commit mass suicide near Cheiry,
Switzerland and Montreal, Canada.