Playboy sent Vibe editor in chief Jermaine Hall, who has been on land, sea and air with Combs to ask the questions Combs usually dodges. “Puffy tricks you into believing he’s giving you the holy-grail scoop”, says Hall, who has interviewed him twice before. “It’s his charm, his hustle. But when he called me asking if I was getting everything I needed, I knew he was in a different space. We met 3×: ”I want to make this interview special, make this epic”, he told me. The man with the notorious ego was cheerful and engaging, but behind the mogul who throws decadent birthday parties at Cipriani and rides Jet Skis in bespoke suits, there was a dark character who picked two themes for our discussions: death and love. He’s more terrified of the latter because he hasn’t gotten it right.

Playboy: … Let’s get into some of the criticisms. You’ve been attacked for being one of the few rappers who don’t write their own rhymes. Is that a fair accusation?
Sean Combs: My instrument and my tone represented Harlem—my swagger, my lazy flow. Nobody came in and told me how to do that. I was spoiled because my first rhyme was written by Biggie. People don’t know that Biggie was the one who pushed me to be an artist. I was afraid to do it, but he said, “The crowd goes crazy when you come out. I’m gonna write you some rhymes.” We did “It’s All About the Benjamins” and “Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down”.
P: Other people continued to write rhymes for you, even after Biggie died.
S. Combs: Nobody just sits down and writes lyrics for me. If it’s Jay-Z, he puts me to work. I give him information; I have to tell him which melodies I’m hearing. He’ll use me as a muse. My strength as a songwriter is having ideas and melodies, and I need somebody to put them together. If you have a relationship with some of the best writers in the game, you’d be a fool not to take advantage of that. I’m not trying to out-rap Jay-Z, you know what I’m saying? I don’t even see us in the same weight division. Him, Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Drake—they’re in the heavyweight division; they’re in contention for the belt. Jay doesn’t dictate what I do or don’t do.

P: …People say you’ve lost your passion for music.
S C: I agree. It’s hard to stay passionate. It’s hard to go from working with artists such as Biggie, Mary J. Blige, Jodeci and the LOX to the new generation of artists. The rules of the game have changed.

P: …When Michael died, did you think about your own mortality?
C: No. I’ve had so much death around me, I’m kind of numb to it.
P: How so?
C: I was introduced to death at a very early age. My father was murdered, and one of my best friends, Notorious B.I.G. was gunned down in L.A. Then my other two best friends, who were living with me, were killed at the same time in a shoot-out in Atlanta over a girl. They had a double-casket funeral. It’s been painful. It’s sad to have all your friends taken away like that. When I see death, I accept it as God’s will.
P: …You’ve spoken to notorious Harlem drug dealer Frank Lucas about your father. What insight did he have for you?
C: He came to my office and said, “Your father was a stand-up guy. Everybody loved him.” My father wasn’t a gangster-thug-killer type of guy. He was the life of the party and a nice dresser, and all the girls loved him.

P: [hypersexuality] …Your sexual history is renowned, but a lot of things have probably been exaggerated. If you were writing a book…
C: Spit it out. I know you’re trying to figure out how to say this to another man. I feel as uncomfortable as you.
P: What’s your number one sex story?
C: I’m gonna tell you about me. I got into porn at an early age. They used to have this show called Midnight Blue on public-access TV. When I was in junior high I used to strategize how I could turn that on after my mother fell asleep. There was this woman, Vanessa del Rio?
P: Yeah, that was her name.
C: We used to have sex every Thursday night. I was masturbating so much I started feeling bad, because I was going to Catholic school and believed it was a sin. As soon as I would bust off, I would be on my knees asking for forgiveness.
P: Did you stop?
C: By my junior year in high school there was no more whacking off. I was too afraid to upset God. On the flip side, it unleashed me on women. I had to have sex every day.
P: When did you start having sex?
C: I tried to lose my virginity when I was 7 years old. I was on top of a girl who was 9 or 10, but it didn’t happen—so everybody doesn’t have to bug out. My mother and the babysitter whipped my ass, but it didn’t knock me off my mission.
P: When did you fulfill your mission?
C: When I was 13, and I felt I was a porno star because I’d been watching porn for so long. In the Bronx you could get a hotel for an hour. I always had $69.65^$20₁₉₈₂ or $104.48^$30₁₉₈₂ to take a chick to a hotel. I’m proud to say I love sex. You might catch me in a porn store at any given moment—it ain’t nothing I’m ashamed of. If they start sending freaks to jail, I’m guilty as charged.
P: You’ve talked about having 30-hour sex sessions.
C: I’m not exaggerating. When I heard about Sting doing it, I thought, Yo, is this possible? I studied up on the breathing techniques and the focus. Now I think to myself, I cannot believe I’ve been going this long! [laughs] Night is turning into day and I’m still goin’ at it. [cf. his ≥7 children, sexual misconduct accusations]

P: [mood swings] …A lot of your life happens in public. From watching you throw tantrums on Making the Band and I Want to Work for Diddy, do people know who you are?
C: That is reality but also some acting, to make sure it’s good TV. I may have pushed too hard and hurt my brand-people perceive I’m difficult to work with. This industry is life or death to me, you know? So I set a tone that lets people know how seriously I take things. I’ve been a tyrant, I’ve been crazy and I’ve been eccentric, but I have never been mean-spirited.
P: Let’s talk about the fight you had in 1999 with Steve Stoute, a music executive you hit with a champagne bottle in his office, leading to your arrest for aggravated assault. Was it worth it?
C: That’s in the past. We want to get some things uncovered that haven’t ever been uncovered. I’ve already uncovered exactly what that was.

P: [denies bipolar] How do you feel about therapy?
C: I’ve gone to therapy for relationships I’ve been in, for tragedies I’ve been through. I think therapy is good. I’ve been called bipolar—I’m not; I just have very drastic mood swings. I went to therapy when Big died, but a lot of my therapy has been with love and relationships. I’ve had therapy about my relationship with Kim, about my relationship with Jennifer. Therapy helped me through those situations.