“Time Variation of a Fundamental Dimensionless Constant”, Robert J. Scherrer2009-03-30 (STEM humor, ontology)⁠:

We examine the time variation of a previously-uninvestigated fundamental dimensionless constant [π]. Constraints are placed on this time variation using historical measurements.

A model is presented for the time variation, and it is shown to lead to an accelerated expansion for the universe.

Directions for future research are discussed.

…Acknowledgments: A number of colleagues were kind enough to comment on the manuscript. For some reason they did not want me to use their names, so I will identify them by their initials: S. Dodelson, A. L. Melott, D. N. Spergel, and T. J. Weiler.