Older Women Write More

Researching The Case For An Older Woman we looked at outgoing messages sent by women of all ages. We found that young women don’t write much in response to an initial “hello” from a man. Older women do. It’s an interesting trend that I’ve depicted with lines:

Of course, this makes sense when you think about the fact that Virginia Woolf and Pearl Buck both were great writers and both eventually became very old:

I’m just kidding. That has nothing to do with anything. Anyhow, what do you guys think is behind this trend? Message length levels off in the late twenties; is it a generational thing?

16 Responses to “Older Women Write More”

  1. Vesper says:

    I’m guessing how much they write is inversely proportional to how many messages they get. It’s probably a matter of time and how much effort they think they need to put in.

  2. Saheli says:

    Super tangential comment, but your pictures remind me of one of my favorite pieces of Sesame Street silliness: Hiroshi’s run in with Flo Bear and Virginia the Wolf .

  3. jazia says:

    Is it not possible that older women get wordier initial messages? I’m pretty sure I get fewer content-light messages than do young vixens. Easier to respond expansively to messages that are themselves lengthier.

  4. I guess you had to cut that graph off at 40 because my messages skewed the data. I take it as a personal challenge to peg the message length limit! (I’m 42)

    It’s probably just a statistical anomaly. Young girls are single because they’re young. Old women are single because there’s something the matter with them. Marriage filters out the women that write the short messages because they are the most desirable. Writing long messages probably means a woman is intellectual and it’s a lot easier to date/marry a simple-minded women. That’s what I’m told by men who have tried both anyway.

    I’m drawing a parallel between short messages and that whole idea that to make somebody like you, get them to talk about themselves. The short message girls probably know what they’re doing.

  5. Antonio Perez says:

    I believe older women write more because younger women are busier and do not have as much time on their hands.

  6. techne says:

    It better fits the data to say that younger women write less.

    Vesper has an easily tested point, though.

    And has this been controlled for the length of the initial message? what’s the ratio of malemessage:femalereply length, over age range?

  7. amarrsbar says:

    I agree with jazia. I’m in my early twenties, and it’s generally guys who are a bit older (in my experience) who end up writing messages with more content. I have a really difficult time generating a response to “hey baby”.

  8. katherine hepburn says:

    Wow Antonio, really? I must say, I thought I was busy in my twenties- I had no idea.

    But Jazia and amarrsbar are on to something. Full disclosure: I’m 34, straight, white, female. I’ve written my profile to weed out those intimidated by intellectualism and quick wit on a woman, but I still get at least one “hey baby, your (sic) hot” message every week or so.

    Allow me to flatter: I think that we are more comfortable with ourselves- and more familiar with our strengths and weaknesses. It’s easier to just chat, and not worry about it too much, if we dont click, no harm, no foul, and no wasted time and effort. Isn’t that the point? Finding connection? I could do the hey baby thing at a bar, and get my drinks & dinner paid for, if that was all I wanted. *yawn*

  9. Chris says:

    I think it’s a function of many things:

    1) Younger women get more messages, so they’re replying more tersely

    2) Younger women use text messaging, Twitter, etc, more and are used to typing shorter messages

    3) Younger women have less in terms of goals of their use of the website – that is, their search is more likely be casual and not particularly targeted other than at “boys,” while older women are more likely looking to vet a mate to settle down for good.

    4) Younger women have less invested in their average reply, since messages aren’t hard to come by – in fact, regardless of their reply, they’ll probably get more messages tomorrow anyway… effort scales to challenge.

  10. Clara Bow says:

    I’m with Katherine Hepburn on this one (ironic the alias, lol)…..

    Being one who’s in her mid-twenties I would say we write more because we’re more comfortable in our own skin. We know ourselves better, we know what we’re looking for and what we need. Chatting is no longer a game of cat and mouse, but a simple exchange minus the dramatics: “OMGosh! Does he really like me!!!??!!” Pressure falls away when you take the pressure off your self, and that is a lesson you only learn with wisdom and experience.

  11. Renegade Researcher says:

    Some great comments BTL here. I’d be interested to see this data compensated for number of messages received. Perhaps a chart of “total number of words written” to first messages per month?

  12. Two Cents says:

    Older women write more because we are simply more mature, sophisticated, experienced, and INTERESTING, and therefore we have a lot more to say. Why is there an automatic assumption that longer messages mean more desperation? On the contrary, the reason I write longer messages is that my communications are more substantive and meaningful. I only reply to people who genuinely interest me, for more reasons than just “he’s hot” or “I’m horny” or “I need attention.” Older women are far more secure and don’t need a numbers game to boost our egos (“More messages/replies means I’m hotter!”). I write longer messages because the things I talk about with my male responders require depth and analysis, not just “I love Thai food!” I’ve gotten into some really interesting “conversations” with some fascinating people, and the messages run long on both sides of the inbox.

    For god’s sake, stop implying that older women (35+?) are somehow damaged goods or more desperate. It’s extremely offensive. I am highly selective and get bombarded with messages every day, from some incredibly hot men. I only reply to those I’m highly interested in. I am not “desperate” at all.

  13. kick_keswick says:

    uh, from this 40+ female’s experience, the wordiness of the response is in direct proportion to the lenth of, content and degree of pleasureable read of the initial message.

    so perhaps the source of the phenomenon begins with an in-depth look at the content of initial message sent by males by age bracket.

    just a suggestion.

  14. arteesta says:

    REALLY, Barbara?? “Old women are single because there’s something the matter with them. Marriage filters out the women that write the short messages because they are the most desirable. Writing long messages probably means a woman is intellectual and it’s a lot easier to date/marry a simple-minded women. That’s what I’m told by men who have tried both anyway.”

    I think Chris’s points are much closer to the truth. Older women are much more experienced with men (if they’re single, it’s likely they’ve been in more than one serious relationship, NOT that there’s something wrong with them) and since they’re women they think about relationships a lot—so they are much more discriminating when it comes to intelligence, personality and values. They need to wean out the idiots who prefer simple-minded women!

    It would be interesting to see the importance different age groups and genders put on these various qualities.

  15. Sylvain says:

    “Long responses” are still less than 140 words long. That’s what? 4-5 paragraphs?

    Deducting from that that “older” (in their mid twenties, for X sakes!) have more time in their hands or are desperate or less in demand…

    It’s a bit of a stretch, no?

  16. Etherialgirl says:

    I find it a little depressing that there seems to be this undertone of whatever younger women do is somehow better! And that older women need to justify why we do what we do. So we write more. Younger women should take this as wise “advice” for how to be more successful and effective when forming meaningful relationships with men! Write more – life experience shows you’ll weed out the men who ultimately will turn out NOT to be a good match — and you’ll save a lot of time in the LONG RUN! Unless of course you just want sex, and then the less you say,the better.