Comments on: Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/ The Official Blog of OkCupid.com Wed, 24 Sep 2014 13:49:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.9 By: birdie http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-15/#comment-34659 Mon, 30 May 2011 18:40:03 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-34659 Hey Rob Sandman –

I’m sorry you went to a gay party and got hit on by gay men. However, I’m a lesbian, and without going to the lion’s den, I get hit on by straight men EVERY DAY, who know I’m married to a woman, and in many cases, WHILE I’m standing there with my wife.

So, perhaps what you’re problem is, isn’t with gays….it’s with men.

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By: Birdie http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-14/#comment-34658 Mon, 30 May 2011 18:24:03 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-34658 I would like people to keep in mind, straights are being surveyed in the environment CREATED for them, by them. Gays and Lesbians are being surveyed after years of violence against them, being pushed out of society, ridiculed, tossed away from their families, and having every right that is given without question to straights be taken away.

I like to remind people of this very obvious discrepancy in any sexuality statistic, especially the ridiculous one that goes around saying gays are “unhappier” than the average straight person. OF COURSE THEY ARE! They are living under the heel of your boot you jackass. You try living down here with your face in the mud and tell me how happy you are.

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By: G http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-14/#comment-34256 Sat, 07 May 2011 09:42:37 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-34256 I would like to add one thing about being a Bi-sexual. Being Bi-sexual is not just about being open to sex with the same or opposite sex, it about being able to be ” in love ” with someone from either sex.

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By: gregory halley http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-14/#comment-34228 Thu, 05 May 2011 14:13:07 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-34228 i would sure wanna have gay sex….i did and it was sweeter than straight sex.

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By: ScrtPlsrRms http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-14/#comment-33656 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 06:11:49 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-33656 I’d be very interested in knowing what sexual orientations search up bisexual men, according to the data used.

I also want to share a hair-splitting set of definitions that I think clarify things a bit (or complicate things, perhaps, for some). These definitions assume two genders and will seem flawed to some because of that; however, they should be fine for the general population.

Gay and straight are equivalent in that they describe lifestyle choices, primarily monogamous or fidelitous tendencies. Gay (including lesbian) involves pairing up with someone of the same gender, and straight, of course, involves pairing up with the opposite gender. These two terms are commonly used to indicate sexual orientation, but I think that’s innacurate and try to avoid using them in this manner.

Het, homo, and bi are sexual orientations (or preferences, if you prefer). They are not necessarily indicative of a gay or straight lifestyle choice. Assuming sexual activity between two people, het and homo can be used to describe sexual relations or acts and are more accurate than gay or straight in this respect. In other words, there is no “bisexual” sex act, but there can be a homo or het act between a bisexual person and someone else.

If a homo or bi woman searches for another woman on OKC, she can be said to be looking for a gay or lesbian relationship. She would not be wrong if she said she was gay or lesbian. If she also searches for men for sex but not a relationship, she can still say she’s gay or lesbian and not be wrong, BUT she couldn’t say she was homo. If she settles into a relationship with a man, she can say she’s bi, but certainly not gay or lesbian.

I think that the distinction is important because of some of the comments I’ve read here. I don’t expect that they will be widely adopted, but thinking about the two levels, in my opinion, does partly explain why there can be bisexual men or women searching only for the same or opposite gender, other than simply saying that bisexuality is used for some purpose as saying to others, “I’m more sexually open, mature, or desirable.”

I happen to have a personal stake in this because I’m a bi man looking for a woman (prefer she be bi as well, but not necessary) with the idea that it might lead to marriage in a few years. Does it make me less bisexual if I settle down with a woman? What if I swore off men altogether, forever; would I then become het or straight? For me, the answer to both of these is “no.”

No matter what, though, we have to remember that these labels are for convenience in conversations or communications. They do not, and should not, place barriers on our lives just because we use them, whether on ourselves or each other. When someone avoids doing or admitting to “gay” sex because they’re “straight,” they are imposing the limits of the label on themselves. This is especially true for bisexuals, because it is often assumed that we cannot settle down into a relationship, or we will inevitably and invariably leave a partner of one gender for another partner of the other gender.

Bisexuality simply means that we are sexually attracted to members of both sexes. Nothing has to be equal about these attractions, nor is someone “less bisexual” because they settle into a gay or straight partnership or search only for men or women on dating sites.

I hope that anyone who needed these distinctions stated has found some clarity from it.

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By: Alex http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-14/#comment-33591 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 23:00:21 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-33591 I just want to add this small little comment. OkCupid has covered the LGB portion of the spectrum but what about us Transgender/sexuals who use this site who have not yet started hormones or had surgery?? What about us?

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By: Ben http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-14/#comment-33136 Mon, 18 Apr 2011 20:22:04 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-33136 “The subtext to a lot of homophobic thinking is the idea that gays will try to get straight people into bed at the first opportunity”

Is that true? Remarkable: it suggests that homophobes do not think of sex as something that is mutually agreed upon.

Maybe a corollary: a lot of female thinking is the idea that guys will try to get girls into bed at the first opportunity, and yet women don’t want to kill all the men (mostly). Is this why women are more mature about different sexualities than men are? Are homophobic guys really so incapable of dealing with being in a situation similar to what women have been in forever (except that gay men are not 30% bigger and stronger than straight men)? Have homophobes never heard of saying “no” to sex? Are homophobes more likely to be rapists?

Are there some questions in your database that could probe this? I’m thinking of differences between genders and degree of homophobia in answering questions such as “I’m scared of anyone who has the ability to rape me” and “It’s always okay to say no to sex for any reason”. Got any questions like that?

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By: James Elliott http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-14/#comment-33130 Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:40:56 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-33130 Would your statistics-fu and user database be able to shed any light on the still-perplexing question of what fraction of the population are interested in pursuing attractions to members of the same sex? A recent WSJ article discusses how difficult it has been to get meaningful answers to that question so far: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704116404576263383778476752.html

I’m thinking your sample size is larger than the surveys considered there, although I am sure there are different biases at play here too.

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By: sarahbesstup http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-14/#comment-32987 Tue, 12 Apr 2011 17:01:43 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-32987 why dnt u all just leave the gay ppl alone its their business to live that life style not ours and i support gays not matter what

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By: Rory http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/comment-page-14/#comment-32933 Mon, 11 Apr 2011 05:54:22 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=6779#comment-32933 I love you so very, very much.

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