Comments on: Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/ The Official Blog of OkCupid.com Sat, 22 May 2010 04:30:59 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Justin http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11819 Justin Fri, 21 May 2010 11:34:32 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11819 Great report on the dating sites. I find this site great because it is free, however there is still one dilemma.. guys outnumber girls on dating sites so even the most unattractive girls can be picky. Great report on the dating sites. I find this site great because it is free, however there is still one dilemma.. guys outnumber girls on dating sites so even the most unattractive girls can be picky.

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By: Matt http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11715 Matt Tue, 18 May 2010 21:42:57 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11715 I tell you one website you really need to look out for Speeddater, I paid for a ticket for a speeddater event and they gave me a 1 month free membeship. What they didn't make clear was you get automatically signed up for Autorenewal and end up on a £19 a month membershtip scam. I was outraged when I saw my bank account, they reallyu dont make this clear when you par for their parties and also make it difficult to be taken off auto reneawl. I feel like speaking to a watchdog about this scam, not sure who to talk to . Be warned... Other that I do like speeddating and seem to have made some contacts. I tell you one website you really need to look out for Speeddater, I paid for a ticket for a speeddater event and they gave me a 1 month free membeship. What they didn’t make clear was you get automatically signed up for Autorenewal and end up on a £19 a month membershtip scam.

I was outraged when I saw my bank account, they reallyu dont make this clear when you par for their parties and also make it difficult to be taken off auto reneawl.

I feel like speaking to a watchdog about this scam, not sure who to talk to .

Be warned…

Other that I do like speeddating and seem to have made some contacts.

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By: Tyrone http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11660 Tyrone Tue, 18 May 2010 00:53:50 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11660 Great read! Thoroughly enjoyed it. I have been successful in my match pursuits, and I see why based on the information here regarding the "feedback loop". I treated each email I sent with as much personal attention as I could, and that has made all the difference. To side with OKCupid, that policy still applies, so whichever online dating site you use, treat it like a job, and you will stand out from those who don't have the fortitude. Additionally, regarding the marriage numbers, I would LOVE to see a follow-up of the divorce rates 5 years down the line, comparing those who met online (be it on a pay-site or OKCupid) versus those who met in the real world. This could potentially be another strong argument for (or against) online dating in general! Thanks for the detailed article! Great read! Thoroughly enjoyed it. I have been successful in my match pursuits, and I see why based on the information here regarding the “feedback loop”. I treated each email I sent with as much personal attention as I could, and that has made all the difference. To side with OKCupid, that policy still applies, so whichever online dating site you use, treat it like a job, and you will stand out from those who don’t have the fortitude.

Additionally, regarding the marriage numbers, I would LOVE to see a follow-up of the divorce rates 5 years down the line, comparing those who met online (be it on a pay-site or OKCupid) versus those who met in the real world. This could potentially be another strong argument for (or against) online dating in general!

Thanks for the detailed article!

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By: Michael http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11527 Michael Sun, 16 May 2010 03:03:20 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11527 Another factor not considered here is that 'once upon a time' no-one had to sign up and pay to meet people until laws were changed to protect privacy and databases and thus making this a lucrative industry. What most 'consumers' are not aware of is that these paysite 'generate fake profiles' to lure you in and increase your 'potential' matches. No one can prove the fraud and fraud it is because of the privacy laws that protect the companies abusing our needs for companionship. I would make an uneducated guess that 70% of more of the profiles viewed on adult sites and companionship sites are 'bots' and not real people but automatic conversations run by smart programming or employees of said companies. The question remains when and who is going to expose this 'industry' for what it truly is, lecherous. Another factor not considered here is that ‘once upon a time’ no-one had to sign up and pay to meet people until laws were changed to protect privacy and databases and thus making this a lucrative industry.
What most ‘consumers’ are not aware of is that these paysite ‘generate fake profiles’ to lure you in and increase your ‘potential’ matches.
No one can prove the fraud and fraud it is because of the privacy laws that protect the companies abusing our needs for companionship. I would make an uneducated guess that 70% of more of the profiles viewed on adult sites and companionship sites are ‘bots’ and not real people but automatic conversations run by smart programming or employees of said companies. The question remains when and who is going to expose this ‘industry’ for what it truly is, lecherous.

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By: brian http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11345 brian Fri, 14 May 2010 04:49:11 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11345 i have joined match.com when i signed up i got no replys so i am not interested in any paying site again i have joined match.com when i signed up i got no replys so i am not interested in any paying site again

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By: Dave http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11301 Dave Thu, 13 May 2010 13:05:27 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11301 Being somewhat of a statistician myself I have analysed the active profiles and such of some sites. A lot of what I have found is reitterated within this blog. For women any site will work although the quality of people messaging her isnt always great. For men, well good luck. I've been on dozens of dating sites over the last 10 years of both types. I've only ever paid for one but have had more success with others so go figure. There are other free sites out there, Plenty of Fish is a good one and Oasis I have used more this year with some success. I have also used RSVP, Red Hot Pie, Adult Matchmaker, EHarmony, Match.com. Adult Friendfinder, Lavalife, etc etc etc...so many some which no longer operate. All sites will have dead profiles that they keep to have extra numbers. Most sites tell you when they were last logged in so any profile that says they haven't been in within the last month assume it is dead. Overall good article and I will check out OkQ. Be interesting to see how that one is. Being somewhat of a statistician myself I have analysed the active profiles and such of some sites. A lot of what I have found is reitterated within this blog. For women any site will work although the quality of people messaging her isnt always great. For men, well good luck.
I’ve been on dozens of dating sites over the last 10 years of both types. I’ve only ever paid for one but have had more success with others so go figure. There are other free sites out there, Plenty of Fish is a good one and Oasis I have used more this year with some success. I have also used RSVP, Red Hot Pie, Adult Matchmaker, EHarmony, Match.com. Adult Friendfinder, Lavalife, etc etc etc…so many some which no longer operate.
All sites will have dead profiles that they keep to have extra numbers. Most sites tell you when they were last logged in so any profile that says they haven’t been in within the last month assume it is dead.
Overall good article and I will check out OkQ. Be interesting to see how that one is.

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By: peter http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11241 peter Wed, 12 May 2010 23:50:42 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11241 yes you are correct,i good loking,and on most sites,rsvp and alot are just scammers,they send fake porfiles to you ,you pay and anwer and then persons profile disapears, this is evil and lieing,and cheating, ive been russia and sent lady from over seas,many bad people, in russia there are many ladys honest and looking for love, go russia dont send money, but hard many dont speak english,but many want love,but russia is great country,poor,but have better way of life than how our life is going,i think as a man,we are lossing the lady, they have money and dont seek men like they use to, we are just a toy now,if we dont obey they move on,,,thats my thoughts,thats 70% yes you are correct,i good loking,and on most sites,rsvp and alot are just scammers,they send fake porfiles to you ,you pay and anwer and then persons profile disapears,
this is evil and lieing,and cheating,
ive been russia and sent lady from over seas,many bad people,
in russia there are many ladys honest and looking for love,
go russia dont send money,
but hard many dont speak english,but many want love,but russia is great country,poor,but have better way of life than how our life is going,i think as a man,we are lossing the lady,
they have money and dont seek men like they use to,
we are just a toy now,if we dont obey they move on,,,thats my thoughts,thats 70%

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By: livyatan http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11237 livyatan Wed, 12 May 2010 23:41:21 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11237 The study fails to mention one key factor when showing that users are more likely to be married when not signed up. eHarmony and Match and other such pay dating sites only track marriages achieved through the site, not generally achieved by site subscribers. I feel like a lot of what people do on dating sites is simply see what's out there, figure out what they want, harden their will, think about who they are, etc. A dating site can be a valuable facet of the entire process that needs to occur when moving into a new relationship. Some people find a new person through the dating site, some don't, but for those that don't, it doesn't necessarily mean they got no value out of the site. Whether a pay dating site is more valuable to that extent would be an interesting discussion. Perhaps there's more access with free sites, but perhaps a pay site makes the commitment of being "out there" more real, since things that cost money are approached more seriously. Interesting stuff! The study fails to mention one key factor when showing that users are more likely to be married when not signed up. eHarmony and Match and other such pay dating sites only track marriages achieved through the site, not generally achieved by site subscribers.

I feel like a lot of what people do on dating sites is simply see what’s out there, figure out what they want, harden their will, think about who they are, etc. A dating site can be a valuable facet of the entire process that needs to occur when moving into a new relationship. Some people find a new person through the dating site, some don’t, but for those that don’t, it doesn’t necessarily mean they got no value out of the site.

Whether a pay dating site is more valuable to that extent would be an interesting discussion. Perhaps there’s more access with free sites, but perhaps a pay site makes the commitment of being “out there” more real, since things that cost money are approached more seriously.

Interesting stuff!

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By: Jeni G http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11099 Jeni G Tue, 11 May 2010 17:56:42 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11099 I agree with everything stated in this article. I signed up for a 2 month subscription to eharmony a few years back and didn't even get to the stage where I could email any of my matches. I suspect most of them only uploaded their profile and picture and then didn't even pay for two months like I did. Interestingly enough, my best friend paid for a whole year and is actually hearing from many men. I suspect the longer you subscribe for the more profiles of paying customers you actually get to see. On a side note: Why did Christian only use pictures of attractive female okcupid users for this article? Makes me wonder... I agree with everything stated in this article. I signed up for a 2 month subscription to eharmony a few years back and didn’t even get to the stage where I could email any of my matches. I suspect most of them only uploaded their profile and picture and then didn’t even pay for two months like I did. Interestingly enough, my best friend paid for a whole year and is actually hearing from many men. I suspect the longer you subscribe for the more profiles of paying customers you actually get to see. On a side note: Why did Christian only use pictures of attractive female okcupid users for this article? Makes me wonder…

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By: Danna http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/04/07/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/comment-page-7/#comment-11097 Danna Tue, 11 May 2010 16:58:50 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=2712#comment-11097 Love, love, love this analysis (as well as all the other amazingly nerdy posts coming out of this blog). However, this does beg the question: -How much less likely are OKC users to get married than the general population? My guess is that while they may be more likely than Match.com or eHarmony users to get married or end up in a relationship, the rate still would be lower than if they weren't on a dating site to begin with. Also, this makes me wonder about paid sites with further eligibility limitations (e.g. Jdate). The chances of reaching an actual person on there (depending on the location) must be more like 1/1000! Love, love, love this analysis (as well as all the other amazingly nerdy posts coming out of this blog). However, this does beg the question:

-How much less likely are OKC users to get married than the general population?

My guess is that while they may be more likely than Match.com or eHarmony users to get married or end up in a relationship, the rate still would be lower than if they weren’t on a dating site to begin with.

Also, this makes me wonder about paid sites with further eligibility limitations (e.g. Jdate). The chances of reaching an actual person on there (depending on the location) must be more like 1/1000!

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