Welcome back, dorks. We’ve processed the messaging habits of over a million people and are about to basically prove that, despite what you might’ve heard from the Obama campaign and organic cereal commercials, racism is alive and well. It would be awesome if the other major online dating players would go out on a limb and release their own race data, too. I can’t imagine they will: multi-million dollar enterprises rarely like to admit that the people paying them those millions act like turds. But being poor gives us a certain freedom. To alienate all our users. So there.
When I first started looking at first-contact attempts and who was writing who back, it was immediately obvious that the sender’s race was a huge factor. Here are just a handful of the numbers that illustrate that:
The takeaway here is that although race shouldn’t matter in messaging, it does. A lot.
More Compatibility Means More Replies (Normally)
First of all, how do we know that race shouldn’t matter? Are we just making some after-school-special assumption that “true love is colorblind?” No, we’re not: we know race shouldn’t matter to replies because the races all match each other more or less evenly, and reply rate correlates to matching.
On OkCupid you create your own unique matching system, and that means your better matches are people you actually want talk to. Below is a graph showing match percentages vs. reply rates for a random sample of 500,000 people. As you can see, in general, the better you match someone, the more likely you are to reply to a first message from them.
We can see this principle in action when we look at our trusty control, the Zodiac. Here are the match and reply rates side-by-side, with similar rates colored yellow. There’s no real need to inspect the numbers; just observe the similar colors.
- Throughout this post, yellowish colors are short-hand for “neutral” and red and green indicate “strong preference.”
People of the various Zodiac signs match each other all at roughly the average rate, and, as we would expect, they reply to messages similarly. In general, the correlation between match percentage and reply rate means that whenever we compare the match/reply charts for a given breakdown of the population, they should look about the same. However, this, like so many other fine assumptions, totally breaks down when race gets involved:
Again, don’t bother squinting, just check out the colors. We’ll now look very closely at these tables.
The Race Is On
So here’s last week’s compatibility by race table (I explained how we can confidently measure “compatibility” in that post). This is a blow-up of the leftmost table above:
Now let’s look at the vastly different table of actual reply rates for messages, sent by men to women (I know our gay readers are interested in same-sex versions of these tables, there’s a link to them here and at the end of this post):
The numbers on the perimeter of the table are the weighted average rates for each column/row. Here’s what we know:
- Black women are sweethearts. Or just talkative. But either way, they are by far the most likely to reply to your first message. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and overall black women reply about a quarter more often.
- White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.
- White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.
Let’s see what happens when it’s the women writing the messages to men.
- Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.
- White guys are shitty, but fairly even-handed about it. The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often. It’s ironic that white guys are worst responders, because as we saw above they get the most replies. That has apparently made them very self-absorbed. It’s interesting that white males do manage to reply to Middle Eastern women. Is there some kind of emergent fetish there? As Middle Easterners are becoming America’s next racial bogeyman, maybe there’s some kind of forbidden fruit thing going on. (Perhaps a reader more up-to-date on his or her Post-Colonial Theory can step in here? Just kidding. Don’t.)
A Last Couple Graphs
These are site-wide answers to a couple user-written match questions. They barely need any explanation: one comments on the other, really. Together they shed more light on the theory/practice schizophrenia of people’s racial attitudes.
It’s Probably Not Just OkCupid That’s Like This
I don’t want anyone walking away from all this thinking that OkCupid users exceptionally horrible mofos. It’s likely that any dating site (and indeed any collection of people) would exhibit messaging biases similar to what I’ve written up. According to our internal metrics, at least, OkCupid’s users are better-educated, younger, and far more progressive than the norm, so I can imagine that many sites would actually have worse race stats. But like I said at the beginning, we’ll probably never know. See you next week.
The same-sex equivalents of this post’s data are here.
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First, can we stop linking to that Black Power blog? Seems to me like the people yelling that dating preference = racism are not users of this site to begin with, or are afraid to show their profiles. Gotta love the Internet.
Second, OKCupid is indeed INcorrect in labeling these trends as racism on a statistical level. I’m sure there are a few individual racists here, They are everywhere. As said in the intro, being a sort of ‘indie’ dating site, they have the freedom to piss off the entire user base (and clearly those outside of it, too).
Lastly, and incidentally my main point, dating preference does, in fact, NOT EQUAL racism. I like girls with black hair, brown hair, red hair (hell, hair could be rainbow colored if she’s cute), thinner figure, t&a that are NOT huge, I also don’t like the smoking, drinking, drugging (yeah, I know), tattooing crowd, and yes, I don’t find the physical features in black girls attractive, but this also applies to darker Hispanics, Indians, etc. I also like correct use of grammar and spelling, but that obviously only counts when English is your first language. In a hypothetical situation where I could actually get more than one reply per girl, or get a girl to go out with me, I would still have those same preferences. To go against my preferences would just make me weak.
But even with the above, does that mean I won’t reply to a black girl who sends me a message here? not at all. But if her profile either (A) lists English (fluently) and the opposite is apparent, (B) has only Casual Encounters selected, or (C) has too much about God and her undying love for Him, then probably not. Aside from those three, I’m all for being friends with anyone, and who knows, maybe she has a cute friend or knows someone in the game industry who will hire me when I’m out of school.
then again, don’t we all look for the comfort of the familiar?
be it the route we take to travel home from work or the friends we make in office or college?
Few would actually like the chaos of unfamiliarity, especially when it comes to personal and intimate affairs which affect deep personal values/perceptions
Let’s face it, 45 years of feminism has made white men the most desirable men. Generally, they’re fair, they help out around the house, and they allow women to be more independent. Things I hear a lot of immigrant women saying their own men don’t allow them. I’m not surprised the statistics prove that Asian women prefer white men to their own men, and even more exclusively than white women do. This confirms what you see going on here in Toronto. It seems all Asian women want a white man. The only time you tend to see them with their own men is when they were married when they came to Canada, there is a language barrier preventing them from dating a white man, or the Asian man is rich or has a good job like a doctor. I don’t know one Asian-born Canadian woman that is married to an Asian man. Ironically, this is bad for femimism as of all the recent immigrant groups, Asian women are the most docile, and they are lowering the playing field.
I just want to say that I have no racial preference in who I find attractive, I also have no preference when it comes to colour of hair or eyes, these are just not things that influence whether I find someone attractive or not.
All that this prove is that people universally see whites as more desirable. Its hypocritical for minorities to be offended at whites preferring whites when their underlying motivation is that they want to be with a white person as well.
Every single post here is by a non white person who is pissed off that white men and women get the most attention. Well get over it! White people only represent 9% of the worlds population! We are on fast track to being eliminated as a race! It doesn’t surprise me one little bit that everyone wants a piece of vanilla. And as for “racism” its just a bullshit one sided word used to impose the notion and diversity and multiculturalism all at the expense of the white race and NO ONE ELSE. Diversity and multiculturalism is always at the expense of white people. It does not surprise one little bit whites are more interested in their own race.
Seriously? It’s racist to state a preference?
I get it. Numbers don’t lie. Except for when they do. Is it in any way possible that people prefer what they were raised around? I look at the black and multi-ethnic women/people on OKCupid and see women with fairly eclectic tastes, for the most part. If you bothered to poll us, you’d most likely see that most of us probably went to private schools or schools for academically-inclined students. Schools that, for the most part, were populated with white people. Now these white people we went to attended schools that were — gasp — predominately white.
You know, when I was younger, I’d get so depressed that girls didn’t like me. I figured it had to be my skin color. You know, now that I’m older, I can see that I was white, but I also realise that there was absolutely no need to take it personally. Most preferences aren’t conscious. They’re just there.
My girlfriend at the moment (we recently started dating again) was a military child and happened to go to school with people of many different ethnic origins. She likes me for who I am. Her Danish grandmother doesn’t feel the same, but whatever.
Anyway. Your numbers are bunk.
jean, I help out around my own home, I cook, and I am an African-American male. I got it from my father, who had to learn how to cook during college. Where it angers me now is that decent men who aren’t white might get passed up.
Here is what is absolutely pathetic.
Preference, in and of itself, is not racism. The problem is that it becomes racism because white people are often UNABLE to separate the stereotype from someone’s race.
As many of the people in these comments so nicely demonstrate (particularly jean before me – what Asian women have you dealt with? By and large, Asian women are FAR from docile.)
What sucks so much is that most of the people find it impossible to buy into the idea that when you do date, you DO make the assumption that one person is superior/inferior to another, and that is particularly what happens when it comes to race. You are implying that one race is superior than the other. And yes, white people do tend to be far more susceptible to buying into these ideas of race because
1. They’re often in racially segregated environments
2. They’re the ones that run the media
3. They’re often indoctrinated from an early age in either colorblindness or that people of color behave in a certain way, and then try to use confirmation biases to back that up.
So, white people, no one cares if you’re offended because you have been called a racist or because someone insinuated that they way you behave and think is hardwired in racism. It’s a hell of a lot better than being told that you’re ‘less than’ and having to adjust because of the color of your skin. And it’s not a few thinking that “Oh, I won’t date her because her skin is dark” because if it were only a few, these statistics would be much more easily distributed. I’ve always found that liberal white men are more open to dating other races BUT black, and still hold the ideas of their conservative parents/grandparents in regards to race.
ALSO WHITE PEOPLE – when a non-white person calls you out on racist behavior, shut up. They’re not being racist by telling you that you’re full of crap – they’re merely telling you that you’re full of crap.
I’m considering terminating my okc account because of this blog. To imply that this is racism is pure stupidity. Attraction is as much (or more) physical as emotional/intellectual. White people are wired to be attracted to white people, black to black, and then there are people that go the other way. This isn’t racism, just laws of attraction. I message white people not because I don’t like black people or any other race. It’s because I prefer, and am genetically inclined toward, white women.
Okc calling me a racist is hardly a good way to keep me as a customer.
My goodness, that is a little sad. I wish there was a way to determine the KIND of messages each race leaves, male and female. It might be affecting the responses.
I use this site frequently. I’ve actually had quite a bit of success when it comes to meeting people also. Just wanted to throw that in there.
http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/
There’s a blog by a white guy that’s “trying to figure out what that means to him”.
As much as this pains me to ask this, is it possible that stereotypes are just that, for a reason? I’m a white, monogamous male that works in a black owned, black run, black patronized business and I get more insight into the “ghetto” mentality more than most people of my race. Time and again the stereotype is reinforced. My boss and the owner of the business is married. He has multiple girlfriends and pays their bills. It’s a status thing to him AND his friends that he can keep these girlfriends around and take care of them, without concern for his marriage. He gets “dap” every time he gets a “new one” and it’s a time for celebration. Don’t feed me some bullshit line about this being racist, or stereotypical, and call it some kind of exception. It’s common, celebrated by the men, and personally disgusting to me. Most women DO NOT want to put up with this. Most blacks will say he’s a discredit to his race/sex, but the simple fact is that it happens constantly, and just like racism, it’s going to take a long time to repair the damage done by men like him.
Race preferences when it comes to selecting a dating partner and life mate are not identical to racism. Given that this website provides individual details about each person that contacts you and you have the opportunity to know something about them, blanket racism does not exist perse. Individuals dating preferences and mate preferences are about individuals, some may be comfortable dating whomever others might not. But to make the statement that racism is alive and well based on dating behavior in a system where one is give personal information about the person other than their race is an oversimplification of the issue.
@ Marc
First you state your preference in women
GuruOfReason2, I have something to say about who OkCupid attracts. From what I am hearing, OkCupid doesn’t attract alot of Black people who want to date inside their own ethnicity. I am an African-American male and I don’t seek to date exclusively within my ethnicity. In fact, I am more than happy to date a White woman, Hispanic woman, Asian woman or any other ethnicity.
and then you write this:
I looked at the stats and Black men having the least reply rates is kind of sad. It appears from the stats that Black men aren’t being considered desirable in the eyes of some people. It angers me and then it doesn’t always surprise me. Whenever some people think of Black men, everything undesirable comes to mind, mainly aggression, violence and other ills of society. That is what many people envision when they envision a Black man. That atitude is in the dating arena. I don’t like it one bit.
You can’t complain and get upset because non-black women may not prefer a black man when you yourself don’t prefer black women. You can’t have it both ways.
@Marc
No, these comments are not coming from black women. They are coming from people who only see in stereotypes and are NOT black.
@Jessie Maims
That’s not true. Many Latino men are short but NOT fat. And black men also have higer rates of being overwight compared to other men.
Two reasons your results may be biased.
Dating sites may tend to attract people who want to date outside of their own race. Daily life and friends and family typically afford more opportunities for dating within your race.
Culturally and racially based institutions to help you find a mate (Churches, social clubs, and so on) may exist to different extents in different groups.
OkCupid, I salute you. Thank you for doing something with your statistics.
Harmony, I never said I preferred any particular race. I also forgot to mention that Black men also get fewer replies from Black women. I don’t have preferences. When I said I don’t seek to date exclusively, I am saying race doesn’t matter to me. A good decent woman is a good decent woman.
What I was trying to say that it appears that black men are the least liked by anyone. That is what I was saying the stats looked like to me.
[...] 1.) Can race predict online dating patterns? [...]
@ sharazel
Race consciousness is the first step to creating equality. We cant just erase this overnight and act like everything is okey doke. This colorblind rhetoric is what hurting minorities. People are trying to turn the tables by calling me racist when you don’t even know the real definition of racism. I don’t think I’m better than anyone so therefore how can I be racist? The white men here are just ashamed that they got caught at their own game. Like is said preferences are racist because you think one is better than the other and think that there is no possible way you can be compatible with a black female she is is TOO DIFFERENT for males depsite the fact the we all grow up in the same culture. It stems from the fact that black don’t have much social capital and that they came here on slave ships. No white person wants “that” in their families. So just keep on denying the fact that YOU STINK!
Sharazel- “The fact is that statistically, some races are more likely to rape or act in other criminal ways towards women than others. Women are not obligated to take greater risks with their safety for the sake of some vision of dating equality. Higher crime rates amongst those ethnic groups are their problem, not the problem of the women on OKCupid”
If this were based on sexual assault rates, wouldn’t Asian and Indian men be way more popular than white men? Are you more likely to reply to or meet an Asian or Indian man than a white man for safety reasons?
Harmony- Sorry, the stats I was looking at on that apparently weren’t the most recent.
@ Chad
Affirmative action isn’t racist because there are waay too many studies to count that proves that whites would rather hire an unqualified white with a criminal record for a job over a qualified black person. Affirmative action isn’t racist because whites have proven that they can’t be trusted to be “fair”. Or even just have plain ole common sense to hire the more qualified minority. WE CAN’T TRUST YOU. Get it? Why don’t stop this racist and classist school zoning that puts whites in great schools while blacks get shoved in sub par schools that run out of toilet paper halfway through the week. Racism is real people WAKE THE FUCK UP! Leave your ego at the door and DEAL with the issue. Stop trying to justify discrimination. The people here are hard wired into thinking that white is better for historical reasons.
“Like is said preferences are racist because you think one is better than the other and think that there is no possible way you can be compatible with a black female she is is TOO DIFFERENT for males depsite the fact the we all grow up in the same culture. It stems from the fact that black don’t have much social capital and that they came here on slave ships.”
But we don’t have the same culture. Blacks and whites have similar cultures with lots of overlapping, due to centuries of living in the same country together, but due to de facto and de jure segregation during the majority of that time, differences have emerged. However, the reason is perceived physical difference more than cultural difference. Many, many men have bridged much larger cultural gaps for a woman that they find physically attractive, and vice versa. If the culture excuse is used for cultures that are as similar as black and white American cultures are, she’s/he’s probably not that into you. If social capital is the issue, why are “model minority” men competing for last place with black guys?
James- “But not just dating for the sake of dating. They will have to meet someone that attracts them and fits the above criteria over and over and over again.”
But if a man/woman is attracted to milky pale skin and light eyes, that generally precludes their attraction to the vast majority of say, black and Indian people, therefore they can’t meet people from those groups that attract them without changing the very nature of what they find attractive, somehow.
Please don’t start arguing about Affirmative Action, I beg ya’ll.
Am I racist because I don’t want to date someone who calls their friends “nigga” and their women “hos”? Am I racist because I want to be with someone who is college educated? Am I racist because I want to date a Catholic? Am I racist because I don’t like to listen to rap music?
In my life, I have only known one man of a minority who fits the description of what I like, and he was taken.
Sorry OKCupid, I refuse to believe I am racist. The blogs are full of accusations that your post proves racism is still alive and well. I would argue that it proves your questions are not specific enough to distinguish this as just a matter of preference. And despite whatever the blogs may say, preference IS NOT prejudice.
There is no affirmative action for dating. Thank God.
It would be very interesting to see how this breaks down by state. I’d be curious if states with larger non-white populations (e.g. CA, NY) differ dramatically from places like Alabama.
Interesting, and kind of sad. I am an African American female, I would get a lot of visits, but no follow up. This study helps me to understand a little bit and perhaps to consider my choices more carefully.
Honestly, the majority (and I emphasize that word) of messages I get from black guys consists of : Hey baby, you is fine. Sorry guys, that’s kind of hard to respond to. That being said, I’ve gotten really well-written thoughtful messages from black guys too. I guess my point is, it really matters (to me) what the message contains.
This was really interesting and a little shocking. I definitely have some self-examination to do when it comes to my racial preferences.
I hope for this country’s sake that every white person saying that they are NOT racist because they prefer blue eyes, is not really white or not really serious. I hope that all the black women who are actually crying about people thinking that they are ugly, are really not crying. I mean, this can’t be for real. White men sleep with and date Black women all the time. ALL the time. Maybe not in middle America, but definitely in the city. Racism is real, as proven by these stats, the denial by the people and the random acts of racism in this country every single day. But the worse thing that you can do is call a racist-a racist. They will claim they are color blind, all while gazing and drooling at blue eyes.
I mean really? Really? At the end of the day if any man claims that he doesn’t find Halle Berry remotely attractive, I have to call in question his sexuality. Period.
OMG
HOW SHOCKING!
PEOPLE PREFER THEIR OWN KIND! THAT IS TERRIBLE.
So the f*ck what if people have preferences about what race they want to date. That’s entirely their prerogative. People in the dating scene discriminate based on height, weight, hair length, job, income, clothing style, etc etc etc, whats the big f*cking deal.
People like what they like, why make a stink about it.
Fuck OkCupid for trying to make a retarded social point and in turn belittling the preferences of many of it’s users.
Whoever wrote this article needs to take the stick out of their ass and realize they shouldn’t have a fucking cow over what people like.
Excellent Article, but c’mon, do you really expect people to come here in state “YES, I AM A BIGOT.” Of course not, it’s the classic establishment as to why the view on race relations is so different between black and white. Articles have shown that black view race relations completely differently than white, and of course, this is one of those occasions.
With that said, a lot is not their own fault in regarding to this situation. Look at our media, a HUGE cause in the way things are now. Caucasian males and females are almost always the lead roles of movies, tv shows, etc. Go to apple.com/trailers and see how many romantic movies involve a non-white male or female. Here, I’ll give you the answer, NONE!
So of course, with the romantic movies and movies in general always painting a picture between a white male and female, it’s only natural for people to fall victim to this image, because unlike what we wish to believe, a lot of Americans are sheep lol. They can’t think critically for themselves and are usually slaves to what exist within our society.
In essence, our society shapes the majority of us. And with the exclusion of hip hop becoming more popular (which is an entirely different beast.) Our society is almost entirely dominated by white people. In essence, this is the form of white privilege in action. But just like anyone who has a privilege, once you have it, why do you want to get rid of it, even if it “is the right thing to do?”
I am impressed at how one can be not only seriously intelligent, coherent, and logical but also use the word mofos randomly throughout the writing, without loosing any legitimacy in the process. I admit, mostly I write to people of my own race, and respond best to people of my own race, but I do not discount anyone based on race. I do however discount fat and/or ugly women and do not respond well to them. What are the stats on that?
You have some serious hatred in your heart if you have a problem with Europeans(whites) finding it preferable to date one another. A lot you have crossed a line that you have no right to cross. Believing that checks and balances need to be in place to prevent Europeans from finding their own ethnic group a preferable dating pool is pure evil. You have no right whatsoever to our beds.
Reading these replies reminded me of the case of Simon Mol, a man who would accuse white women of racism if they asked that he wear protection before sex. All the while he was masquerading as a human rights activist his sole intent was to spread the HIV virus among the Polish population. Yes, I don’t believe the lot of you are speaking from good faith. Very disturbing and creepy.
This blog post led with “Racism is alive and well,” based on the fact that people are more likely to date people of their own race.
I’m sure this has been pointed out somewhere in this thread already, but if not, here’s the obvious:
Racism is the practice of oppressing another person or group of people on the basis of race. Dating preferences based on race may or may not be a product of racism. In a Venn Diagram, there would be a circle representing Racists, a much larger circle representing Those Who Date Their Own Race Exclusively, and then a small overlapping area of people who are in both groups/circles.
In short, please don’t go throwing around the term racism if you don’t know what it means. It’s accurate to talk about dating based on racial preferences, but it is inaccurate to call that racism. You collected the data, but accurate analysis is just as important.
This is pretty interesting and neat data mining. A couple of comments for improving the presentation of your results:
1) Label the axes on your plots. After a bit of time, we can figure out that the row headers are senders and column headers are receivers, but this should be explicit.
2) Explicitly say what red and green indicates. I had to spend a few seconds to realize that red means “less than expected” and green meants “greater than expected”. Again, be explicit.
3) Speaking of colorblindness, choose colors other than red and green. Red-green colorblindness is the most common. Try a different gradient with un-noteable cells as white.
4) Actual measures for statistical significance would be helpful (p-values, correlation coefficients, etc.).
This is all pretty fascinating and I appreciate your work. A few minor changes would make this much more professional and remarkable.
While it’s true most Americans are fat, Black women are the fattest.
“African American women have the highest rates of being overweight or obese compared to other groups in the U.S. About four out of five African American women are overweight or obese.”
Who says that? The US office of minority health
http://www.omhrc.gov/templates/content.aspx?lvl=3&lvlID=537&ID=6456
And if you look at the chart, most of those are actually obese.
I think once you factor in the ratios of fatness compared to other women (like 1.4), there’s not that big a difference in reply percentage.
While it’s easy to see race, people are seeing it instead of the even more obvious factor, obesity.
Marc, where have you been all my life? I’d given up, but guys like you give me a little hope.
@ JeremyR
You have one big error to your theory about obesity. Alot of fat women don’t date or either bother to put profiles online. Alot of big people stand in the sidelines and are anti-social. You might see the occasional BBW profile but it’s not that common. Most of the profiles are women who are average. You can take a look at a picture and see whether or not women are skinny or fat. Don’t act like a fool. Another thing is that more blacks use public health facilities therefore the gov’t has more access to their info than whites. The study didn’t tell us EXACTLY HOW they got their info which is important also. When it comes to weight whites don’t lag too far behind blacks were all lard-asses.
Now that aside. BMI has been going under alot of scrutiny these days because alot of health officials are saying it’s inaccurate and just plain OUTDATED. Come again?
Now, we have people coming on here using stereotypes to justify discrimination. Wow! Ok.Cupid shouldn’t have called you dorks but dickheads.
JeremyR, christian said that obesity has been controlled for.
Anon: “In my life, I have only known one man of a minority who fits the description of what I like, and he was taken.”
So, the Asian guys you know act like this, too? I think some people are using “minorities” as a euphemism for “black (and possibly Latin) people.”
Chuckles “OMG HOW SHOCKING! PEOPLE PREFER THEIR OWN KIND! THAT IS TERRIBLE”
It says that white people prefer their own kind (sorta, in the case of white guys) — which makes sense. It says that the minority women here, however, prefer white guys by a large margin over their own men.
But I guess
OMG, HOW SHOCKING!
WOMEN PREFER WHITES!
wouldn’t sound all that natural.
would love to see data for gay and lesbian response rates.
“You might see the occasional BBW profile but it’s not that common. Most of the profiles are women who are average. You can take a look at a picture and see whether or not women are skinny or fat.”
Wow, you’re not a user here, are you? And yes, fat people do frequently date and socialize, the sadsack stereotypes on ‘More To Love’ nonwithstanding. If anything, they’re more likely to use the Internet for dating than skinny people.* And you’d be surprised about the photos. I didn’t believe it, until I, too was fooled by the famous “Myspace angle”. Also, there’s cultural differences in the definition of fat and skinny between the races. Add the substantial hipster subculture quotient that OKC has (I actually came here for that, so I’m not knocking it), and you’re talking about a notably thin standard of beauty… the difference between ‘Mean Girls’ Lindsay Lohan and ‘I Know Who Killed Me’ Lindsay Lohan. So, in short, your “fat” probably won’t be the CDC’s “fat”, and the CDC’s “fat” may not even be JeremyR’s “fat.”
*Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
We are actually more divided than ever, and that is ironic due to the fact that the internet has united mankind in a way never before possible. Religion obviously being a monster divider, but the belief system is the culprit. Long standing practices, traditions, ceremonies… some archaic and thousands of years old, yet still practiced. Parents instill this into their kids, and they get it from their parents. One can hope for the ideal, but we are all just animals, some more human than others, yet we all piss and shit. Be a good person, thats all I can try to do. Good day to everyone. PEACE
So glad I read this- at least now I know why I get very few responses- because I am a Black female. (And I am not fat) Sad.
Hey, I just want to say that people have primitive brains that have a need to categorize information to make sense of the world. People see black and they think ghetto life, ghetto mentality, infidelity and all of the negative things they have been fed by the media (including hip hop and black culture to associate with black people.) They see the same thing when the see white… they see the OC and the Hills and the way media depicts “white” culture… Naturally they’re going to choose the latter.
The problem and my personal lifetime frustration comes when you find those who lie outside of what the media portrays and teaches as the norm. I was raise upper middle class with both parents and a cosby like family. I grew up and as an adult I am currently also upper middle-class and when its an online dating site, of course people will see me and categorize me with their ghetto culture view of the black race.
I get flak sometimes from other black people about my view of the ghetto and how there are good people that live in the ghetto too, but on the whole I think it sucks. I’ve had to work there when i did territory sales for a tobacco company and I HATED going there and the mentality frustrated the shit out of me.
Anyway, the point is that every black guy is not a hood booger…
Oh yea one more thing… I don’t prefer white women or black or hispanic. If they’re like minded ambitious intelligent and beautiful, they could be green. I’ve dated them all….
I’m sorry… I didn’t manage to read all the comments… it was just getting longwinded.
Preference and racism are no more the same than being straight is the same as being a homophobe.
I prefer not to have sex with men, that does not mean I have a problem with them. Who we want to date/have sex with/marry/etc. is a product of our entire lives, and is not an invalid thing if it isn’t “colorblind”
If there is one place the p.c. needs to stay out of, its our bedrooms.
tell me about the stats for people of mixed or unidentified race.
You should run this at a regional level rather than crude statistics, as you’ll find that all women in the UK in particular are hideous, hideous repliers. They hardly ever do. They’re incredibly picky about who they choose to reply to.
@ Jessie
Exactly! That’s what people are failing to recognize. The biggest issue isn’t the fact whites want to date exclusively, even though many self centered individuals took upon this way because they are indeed selfish. But the biggest issue is that other women talk to white men much more than non-whites, including “their own kind (whatever that’s suppose to mean.)” That’s by itself shows how systematic racism is still in effect these days, and as I explain before, it’s primarily due to the media.
As someone mention, you think white, you think oc with big cars and super rich, you think black, you think ghetto and poor. Originally, I believe that Obama would change the image that people would have around black people, but as the news become more negative, it’s easily seen that many people just want to view black people in a negative light.