Welcome back, dorks. We’ve processed the messaging habits of almost a million people and are about to basically prove that, despite what you might’ve heard from the Obama campaign and organic cereal commercials, racism is alive and well. It would be awesome if the other major online dating players would go out on a limb and release their own race data, too. I can’t imagine they will: multi-million dollar enterprises rarely like to admit that the people paying them those millions act like turds. But being poor gives us a certain freedom. To alienate all our users. So there.
When I first started looking at first-contact attempts and who was writing who back, it was immediately obvious that the sender’s race was a huge factor. Here are just a handful of the numbers that illustrate that:
The takeaway here is that although race shouldn’t matter in messaging, it does. A lot.
More Compatibility Means More Replies (Normally)
First of all, how do we know that race shouldn’t matter? Are we just making some after-school-special assumption that “true love is colorblind?” No, we’re not: we know race shouldn’t matter to replies because the races all match each other more or less evenly, and reply rate correlates to matching.
On OkCupid you create your own unique matching system, and that means your better matches are people you actually want talk to. Below is a graph showing match percentages vs. reply rates for a random sample of 500,000 people. As you can see, in general, the better you match someone, the more likely you are to reply to a first message from them.
We can see this principle in action when we look at our trusty control, the Zodiac. Here are the match and reply rates side-by-side, with similar rates colored yellow. There’s no real need to inspect the numbers; just observe the similar colors.
- Throughout this post, yellowish colors are short-hand for “neutral” and red and green indicate “strong preference.”
People of the various Zodiac signs match each other all at roughly the average rate, and, as we would expect, they reply to messages similarly. In general, the correlation between match percentage and reply rate means that whenever we compare the match/reply charts for a given breakdown of the population, they should look about the same. However, this, like so many other fine assumptions, totally breaks down when race gets involved:
Again, don’t bother squinting, just check out the colors. We’ll now look very closely at these tables.
The Race Is On
So here’s last week’s compatibility by race table (I explained how we can confidently measure “compatibility” in that post). This is a blow-up of the leftmost table above:
Now let’s look at the vastly different table of actual reply rates for messages, sent by men to women (I know our gay readers are interested in same-sex versions of these tables, and I will produce them next week):
The numbers on the perimeter of the table are the weighted average rates for each column/row. Here’s what we know:
- Black women are sweethearts. Or just talkative. But either way, they are by far the most likely to reply to your first message. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and overall black women reply about a quarter more often.
- White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.
- White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.
Let’s see what happens when it’s the women writing the messages to men.
- Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.
- White guys are shitty, but fairly even-handed about it. The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often. It’s ironic that white guys are worst responders, because as we saw above they get the most replies. That has apparently made them very self-absorbed. It’s interesting that white males do manage to reply to Middle Eastern women. Is there some kind of emergent fetish there? As Middle Easterners are becoming America’s next racial bogeyman, maybe there’s some kind of forbidden fruit thing going on. (Perhaps a reader more up-to-date on his or her Post-Colonial Theory can step in here? Just kidding. Don’t.)
A Last Couple Graphs
These are site-wide answers to a couple user-written match questions. They barely need any explanation: one comments on the other, really. Together they shed more light on the theory/practice schizophrenia of people’s racial attitudes.
It’s Probably Not Just OkCupid That’s Like This
I don’t want anyone walking away from all this thinking that OkCupid users exceptionally horrible mofos. It’s likely that any dating site (and indeed any collection of people) would exhibit messaging biases similar to what I’ve written up. According to our internal metrics, at least, OkCupid’s users are better-educated, younger, and far more progressive than the norm, so I can imagine that many sites would actually have worse race stats. But like I said at the beginning, we’ll probably never know. See you next week.
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This isn’t cool OkCupid. Racism is a powerful word and we lessen its impact every time we use it frivolously. Great job trying to match levels of attractiveness and height, but your study still doesn’t cut it. People are so different, and the users of each race that use OkCupid do not likely represent the greater population. Regardless, what is the problem with a general preference for specific race/s? Mating selection is a very personal decision, why insult those who are interested in certain mates? Save the R card for something truly disturbing.
Black women are the least likely to marry outside their race. Truest statement ever written. Asian women are the most likely, that is according to the United States Census Bureau.
Top Reasons You Think You are Not a racist (but more than likely are, since you think that you must state the following to prove that you are not):
1.My best friend is_______________(insert racial minority here)
2.I DATED (emphasis on dated, because marriage is COMPLETELY different)_________(insert race here)
3. I like women who are well educated, can speak, feminine, fit, open minded, etc. etc.
(All code for….gasp…..WHITE!!!!!, because, ya know, Black women after all are very masculine by nature of course. I mean look at that damn Beyonce and Halle Berry, and Janet Jackson, and Gabrielle Union, and Naomi Campbell-they are just so damn masculine, over weight, close minded, and COMPLETELY UNFEMININE!)
4. Biology (when all else fails, blame your racism on biology, after all that’s what eugenics is!)
5. PREFERENCE (Hmm, just like the University of Michigan’s Supreme Court case-preference. Another word for racism is discrimination. Another word for discrimination is PREFERENCE!) I mean after all, when you prefer someone who is not fat-obviously you can’t be talking about a white woman, since 4 out of 5 of them are overweight! I mean, clearly preference is for women with large breasts is not discrimination against Asian women, because after all they ALL have small breasts. And of course, you have to have women with long hair, I mean Black women-they have such short hair right? Or do they, or is that just racism, stereotypes, ignorance .
6. Not liking TAN women. (Great! So you may not be racist because Black women are NOT tan, they are BLACK. And they don’t roast in the sun, they are born that way.)
7. Because non-whites deny their whiteness (Yea right, have you ever met someone from the Philippines! They are dying o tell you how white they are.)
8. “I am not opposed to interracial dating”-for someone else, not you because after all you prefer Jennifer Ainston over Rihanna because you like perky breast?
WTF, you people are seriously racist. FIRST rule of racism-deny, deny, deny. But since, calling racist racist in 2009 is not okay. We can say preference and refer to 1-6.
FYI-Black women on non-Black dating sites is rare. Very.
Another point is that whites are more likely to be atheist. Personally, if I see Jesus mentioned in a profile I am outta there.
Also there is clear data out there showing varying education rates between the ‘races’. And that can definitely impact people’s preference.
So unless you are somehow filtering these out (and sorry the percentage matchess don’t count here because for example, I would have no problem dating a Christian but wouldn’t waste my time with somebody who felt the need to talk about Jesus in their profile — i’m guessing i’m not alone on this)
Wow. This blog post alone is the impetus for my going and re-upping my paid membership. An internet dating site with awareness of racism and sexual orientation issues? Whodathunkit?
Man, I’ve been around OKC a long time, but this is a proud moment.
Serene (aka Serenejournal)
GuruOfReason2, I have something to say about who OkCupid attracts. From what I am hearing, OkCupid doesn’t attract alot of Black people who want to date inside their own ethnicity. I am an African-American male and I don’t seek to date exclusively within my ethnicity. In fact, I am more than happy to date a White woman, Hispanic woman, Asian woman or any other ethnicity. I am more than happy to do so. You can call me the “rainbow dating type”. The issue with me is that many women do not want to date me. I have also read that Black men are seen as the most manly. I am not the “uber-manly” type. In fact, I can be soft at times. I have a hard time looking for the woman who can accept me as the guy who isn’t “uber-manly” and who has a soft side and very secure and in tune with it. Personally, I am the African-American, straight male who gets passed over for bigger(I am 5′5″ and around 130 pounds), more manly(I like Hello Kitty and I can be kind of soft at times, though I do like martial arts) men. Race has played a factor, as well as other factors. Sometimes I think geography could play a factor. I live in the South and interractial dating has been looked down on(to say the least) and even today, there are some people who still look down on it. I am aware that some atitudes are hard to change, but I don’t put up with them or try to make accomodations for them. I do what I want.
So now it’s racist to not be attracted to people of other races? Attraction isn’t something you choose, its something physical.
Also, way to be homophobic and just relying on male/female pairings.
You guys don’t get it.
You are racist.
You’re attempting to make your racism acceptable by substituting that for ‘preference.’
It seems you think only ACTIONS can be racist. Actions begin with THOUGHTS.
It’s clear that the majority of whites are controlled by internal racism. Stop being so quick ‘intellectualize’ what benefits you. Stop coasting on your white-privilege and relationship affirmative-action.
I would have more respect for you if you just admitted that white supremacy benefits you, especially since every non-white race seems ready to drop their draws for you.
Like I said before preferences are based on stereotypes which alot of times stem from racism. Everyone is guilty. So please quit with this preference bullshit. Alot of black females dont even fit the stereotypes that whites have pinned on them since the days of slaver. YES! These stereotypes are historical but have no meaning in real life. It seems as if whites have internalized racism by thinking they are superior,. The reason white men don’t respond is because they are spoiled for choice.
does it really matter? the serach function on the site makes things skewed anywyas. i’d love to be able to exculde people who mention religion in their profiles. if you are so weak that you MUST profess your love for (insert random deity) you really aren’t that strong a believer.
if the search capabilities were redesigned the numbers would be drastically changed
fascinating results. This kind of jibes with what i’ve seen. Generally, white women seem really fearful of non-white guys who approach and talk to them, i’m not really sure why. actually maybe fearful isn’t the right word more like ‘uh what are you doing? why bother?’ another thing is that asian women do seem to worship white guys, not sure what the psychology behind that is, but they fall over themselves for tall white guys.
As a black man this just goes to show that racism is alive and well in the US OF KKKA. Although I was surprised at white women being more racist then white men when it comes to dating. The question is how can we solve this, I’m thinking it goes back to the developmental stage in childhood when children are forming their worldview and negative stereotypes get put in their brains. This is why we need desegregation in schools and neighborhoods, to make people more tolerant and broaden their horizon.
1. The issue at hand is lack of response to messages based on race which I’d like to clear up a little. I am a black female and the MAJORITY of messages are sent to me by white males that usually say (verbatim) “want to fuck?” and I feel OBLIGATED to respond to that with “eat shit and die”. Unfortunately that’s counted as a reply… does that make me a sweetheart? no. It makes me willing to stand up for myself. Am I sassy because I’m black? No, it’s because I have 2 older brothers and speaking up was the way to get noticed.
2. Whoever said black women are muscluar/masculine probably enjoys screwing skinny chicks who look like 12 year old boys because they remind them of 12 year old boys…no t&a.
3. Why are white people on here so slow to admit they are racist? I frequently am told by white people about an incident they’ve had with a family member or friend of a friend who is “soooo racist”. I actually find it quite amusing that they feel the need to share that story with me, the token black in the room.
4. Let’s call it like it is…are you willing for your children to be mixed? Why not? Can you not even wrap your head around the questions because of your “preference”?
You guys are amazing for sharing openly this kind of data-mining!
Keep it up, I find your posts very interesting.
This was very interesting indeed…and seems pretty accurate….i am a non traditional hispanic male. I was adopted and raised by a white college educated family…i grew up in a very white upper middle class town…..so i have to say that white chicks do seem pretty racist mostly cuase that’s the way they were raised…also they don’t want to upset their parents
what the fuck do you mean by education?
Wow. Thank you so much OkCupid!
This is like a conspiracy theory being proven. It ratifies a lot of suspicions that I’ve had. So true that we are disillusioned into thinking we believe one way, but our actions speak for themselves.
The reply rates to male senders is horrible, even for white. Men reply twice as often.
That middle eastern thing is weird for sure.
I also agree with Marc’s comment. He’s rather atypical for his phenotype. If he were another ethnicity, he’d be much more popular with the personality he has.
VoiceOfReason also makes a good point. Similar to how women are put off by Marc lack of stereotype, men are off put by supposed stereotypes of black women.
OkC you should also do one of these on INCOME and EDUCATION. I doubt it will be as skewed but still interesting. Thanks!
a) I can’t see how exercising preference in your choice of partner can be called racism. It’s your love-life, not a job.
b) “White guys are shitty…” – on the basis that they don’t respond enough? If you get a lot of responses then it’s likely that you won’t have time to respond to all of them, and also, you can pick and choose. That doesn’t make you shitty, which is a somewhat racist statement on the basis of one pretty skewed interpretation of the data – which is skewed in the first place. If you’re going to make statements like this, at least say ‘White guys who use OK cupid” rather than slam the whole race.
@Mart- you are NAIVE to think that racism isn’t tied to dating preference. maybe you can’t wrap your head around that fact but it doesn’t make it not true.. whether it is conscious to you or not, by evolutionary terms, men should be attracted to symmetrical, and therefore more beautiful, women. in no way does race factor into that. our culture and our history created the race divide.
@ JC and TheVoiceOfReason- totally agree. i will repost what you said:
“no matter how innocent any individual preference is, if you look at the way that preference twists and turns over a large group, as we see in this study, racism clearly exists at the systemic level. Regardless of whether or not any person’s preference is racist, on an individual level, the fact of the matter remains that men (as a group) find black women less attractive than other women and that women (as a group) find white men more attractive than other men. While each individual preference might just be aesthetic, it points to a system wide conditioning of the sample group to have racial bias. Your preference might not be racist in itself, but the standards of beauty in the society that influences and shapes your own personal aesthetic preferences are most certainly racist. If they weren’t, we’d end up with the all yellow grid that we get with zodiac signs.”
“Oh by the way stop this preference bullshit it is just a euphemism for racism. People are racist and they think one is better than the other. You’d think after all these years of racial oppression and stereotypes people would be more willing to own up to their own bullshit. Let’s not beat around the bush and be honest.”
i absolutely HATE the guys commenting trying say they aren’t attracted to some races just like they aren’t attracted other men. your inability to get it up for another male is genetic. your inability to get it up for a girl of another race is PROGRAMMED- by your family, by the media, and by who you’ve chosen to surround yourself with. this article further proves it- http://serc.carleton.edu/introgeo/earthhistory/humanrace.html
@Bobby- thank you for adding that article to the discussion. it is good scientific proof that culture is to blame for what the defenders of their racism call ‘aesthetic preference.’
@ARaceAgainstTime- yes, you are a racist, KKK & NAZI-loving BIGOT. sorry to break it to you, but it is not possible for your family to have been all white for 40,000 years. sorry to break it to you, but all races originally came from ‘black’ people. including you, you ignorant turd.
@Tiffany- you say the most horrible things, but you say it so nicely. if you realise ur personal prejudice, why not try to fix it? as in everything else, admitting there is a problem is the first step. attraction, especially for women, is based on much more than a first look at a picture. if you feel you’ve never been attracted to a guy of another race, could it be you never got to know very many guys of other races?
@Erin- you are wrong. because the traits of a baby takes the better dna from each of its parents, mixed blood is always stronger in the biological sense. now you have no excuse. don’t let the world push you into being racist. you were right to begin w/. almost always, the right thing is the one that is harder to do.
Its sad that we are still dealing with this. I thought something was wrong with me but this explains a lot. I think people should put that in their profile, I don’t date black men or I don’t date broke black men or whatever. If you put it in your profile then I wouldn’t contact any one that felt that way. People should be honest with themselves and with others. There would be less time wasted contacting people, trying to think of things to say. Then these people don’t take the time to reply just to say sorry you aren’t what I seek. Sad indeed because I’m sure plenty of us are just seeking new people to know and see if they can become friends or more. Every attempt isn’t about sex.
Fascinating stuff. Keep em coming!
Disappointed (Male) , what do you think might be the reason I am not more popular with my personality if not just race?
I think alot of women don’t state what kinds of men they want to date. When I don’t get a response, I don’t know why it is. It could be anything, even race. Many women aren’t honest and don’t say they want a white male only.
paraphrased: every white plantation owner’s wife knows the father of all the mulatto children on every OTHER plantation but has no idea why there are so many running around on her plantation…
Preference – why is it that “black” people who are the descendants of slaves are CLEARLY more ethnically diverse looking than Africans? Every black person who is descended from slaves is of mixed blood, sometimes Native American but more commonly WHITE. It is a known fact that plantation owners consistently raped and impregnated their African slaves. There was no “preference” other than being able to get their dick wet. Historically laws against interracial marriage weren’t to stop black MEN from marrying white women but rather to keep the bastard children of WHITE men and black women from inheriting property. Prime example: Thomas Jefferson. No sons from his white wife, 2 from his black sex slave. Guess who’s NOT going to inherit anything…
This so called “preference” that people have for one race or another is called a prejudice. You have prejudged all brown people to be of a lower class, less educated, unattractive etc and are not going to give them a chance because of their skin color. You prejudge based upon what you have learned from MTV’s exploitation and VH1’s Flavor of Love. You prejudge because you have been indoctrinated that a 5′5, 100lb, A cup chick with long blond hair and no booty is desirable. There WAS a preference for about 5000 years and that was for CHILDBEARING HIPS! Congratulations, we are the first generations to discount the evolutionary “preference” for a manufactured one.
@ Dawn
Claps! Exactly people don’t like to own up their own prejudices. Black represents lower class to men of other races. Even black men try to escape this by not responding to black women. I really do feel that O.K. Cupid should bring this to the attention of the males. I’m not surprised by the data I wish other sites would release theirs and get proactive about racism in the dating arena. I don’t think racial preferences should be allowed at all.
I don’t know why OKC members are now all of a sudden being so timid when it comes to expressing their racist attitudes. If you head on over to the forums, you will find tons of users who are more than happy to celebrate their bigotry.
Just the other day, in a post discussing why black men liked to date white women, a couple of OKCs white female users responded:
“Because they want to feel like a white guy.”
And…
“I think the general rule is black guys will hit on anything with hair past their ears.”
Oh, and my favorite:
“I bet it’s because its better then fucking monkeys.”
Frankly, I don’t care if you’re a racist, there’s no cure for ignorance and I’m not looking to find one. Just be brave enough to put it in your profile so I’ll know to stay far away.
Seedypoet , can you tell me where you have found these comments? I need to see them for myself. Maybe it will give me some insight into the way some people actually think.
I looked at the stats and Black men having the least reply rates is kind of sad. It appears from the stats that Black men aren’t being considered desirable in the eyes of some people. It angers me and then it doesn’t always surprise me. Whenever some people think of Black men, everything undesirable comes to mind, mainly aggression, violence and other ills of society. That is what many people envision when they envision a Black man. That atitude is in the dating arena. I don’t like it one bit.
It’s at the end of this post:
http://www.okcupid.com/forum?tid=9652641330436179818
Incidentally, this is also the post where I spend a good deal to time defending my girlfriend (who dates a black guy obviously) from a racist and anti-woman tirade.
“I’m not surprised by the data I wish other sites would release theirs and get proactive about racism in the dating arena. I don’t think racial preferences should be allowed at all.”
Now… this confuses me. This diagram seems to show that even in sites that don’t “allow” them (OKC doesn’t currently have a racial preferences category), they’ll still be exercised. What would getting “proactive about racism in the dating arena” actually entail? Because as annoying as it is, I don’t really think there’s anything that can be done about the present generation of people and how they physically evaluate other groups. Culture can produce something that feels and acts a lot like hard-wiring — even if it totally isn’t. People that don’t have any racial preferences could have a separate site that caters to their needs, but most people do have them, and I don’t think there’s a way to change that. Also, older middle class people are the lifeblood of mainstream pay dating sites, and they’re more likely to have firmly entrenched racial preferences. There’s no way in hell they’re going to fight those customers on this, it’s too potentially damaging to the bottom line.
Dear lord… what crap people dare making public.
It is assumed that white guys not messaging black women are racist. That in itself is a racist statement.
Why can’t people get it through their media-induced anti-racism comatose minds that black people are *not* some endangered species. They are people, just like you, me, and every other idiot on this planet. They have a common physical trait, namely a dark skin. People are allowed to be attracted to blonde hair, blue eyes, and every other physical trait, but being attracted to a pale skin is racism?
Instead of reading the lines the media has been reading to you use your own brain for a change.
this was interesting. i have dated outside my race, much to my parents’ dismay, and started doing so in high school. i have dated everyone.
regardless, dating all these men from different races has taught me what i like and don’t like. in the end, i have decided that i want an american born man. cultural differences have impeded past relationships with men who were born and raised elsewhere. as far as what i find attractive, it’s white guys, tall, preferably blonde and very fit. i’m not ashamed of what i want and at this point i’m not interested in settling for less. the thing missing from a lot of past relationships has been physical attraction. i have met and dated some amazing men, but if the sex aspect isn’t there, and it won’t be if you’re fat or old or bald or smelly or just not what makes my butter melt, and that includes certain races, then our relationship will only be a friendship.
This has been my experience as an Asian male as well.