Welcome back, dorks. We’ve processed the messaging habits of over a million people and are about to basically prove that, despite what you might’ve heard from the Obama campaign and organic cereal commercials, racism is alive and well. It would be awesome if the other major online dating players would go out on a limb and release their own race data, too. I can’t imagine they will: multi-million dollar enterprises rarely like to admit that the people paying them those millions act like turds. But being poor gives us a certain freedom. To alienate all our users. So there.
When I first started looking at first-contact attempts and who was writing who back, it was immediately obvious that the sender’s race was a huge factor. Here are just a handful of the numbers that illustrate that:
The takeaway here is that although race shouldn’t matter in messaging, it does. A lot.
First of all, how do we know that race shouldn’t matter? Are we just making some after-school-special assumption that “true love is colorblind?” more compatibility usually
means more repliesNo, we’re not: we know race shouldn’t matter to replies because the races all match each other more or less evenly, and reply rate correlates to matching. That is, more compatibility generally means more replies.
On OkCupid you create your own unique matching system, and that means your better matches are people you actually want talk to. Below is a graph showing match percentages vs. reply rates for a random sample of 500,000 people.As you can see, in general, the better you match someone, the more likely you are to reply to a first message from them.
We can see this principle in action when we look at our trusty control, the Zodiac. Here are the match and reply rates side-by-side, with similar rates colored yellow. There’s no real need to inspect the numbers; just observe the similar colors.
- Throughout this post, yellowish colors are short-hand for “neutral” and red and green indicate “strong preference.”
People of the various Zodiac signs match each other all at roughly the average rate, and, as we would expect, they reply to messages similarly. In general, the correlation between match percentage and reply rate means that whenever we compare the match/reply charts for a given breakdown of the population, they should look about the same. However, this, like so many other fine assumptions, totally breaks down when race gets involved:
Again, don’t bother squinting, just check out the colors. We’ll soon look very closely at these tables.
So here’s last week’s compatibility by race table (I explained how we can confidently measure “compatibility” in that post). This is a blow-up of the leftmost table above:
As you can see, the races all match each other roughly evenly: good news. It means all other things being equal, two people, of whatever race, should have the same chance to have a successful relationshp. But now let’s look at the table of how individuals actually reply to each other’s messages. First we’ll examine messages sent by men to women (I know our gay readers are interested in same-sex versions of these tables, there’s a link to them here and at the end of this post):
The numbers on the perimeter of the table are the weighted average rates for each column/row. Here’s what we can know:
- Black women write back the most. Whether it’s due to talkativeness, loneliness, or a sense of plain decency, black women are by far the most likely to respond to a first contact attempt. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and, overall, black women reply about a quarter more often that other women.
- White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.
- White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.
Let’s see what happens when it’s the women writing the messages to men.
- Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.
- White guys are shitty, but fairly even-handed about it. The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often. It’s ironic that white guys are worst responders, because as we saw above they get the most replies. That has apparently made them very self-absorbed. It’s interesting that white males do manage to reply to Middle Eastern women. Is there some kind of emergent fetish there? As Middle Easterners are becoming America’s next racial bogeyman, maybe there’s some kind of forbidden fruit thing going on. (Perhaps a reader more up-to-date on his or her Post-Colonial Theory can step in here? Just kidding. Don’t.)
Finally, here are a couple tables that shed further light on our discussion. These are site-wide answers to a couple user-written match questions. They barely need any explanation: one comments on the other, really. Together they shed more light on the theory/practice schizophrenia of people’s racial attitudes.
It’s probably not just OkCupid users that are like this. I don’t want anyone walking away from all this thinking that OkCupid users exceptionally horrible people. It’s likely that any dating site (and indeed any collection of people) would exhibit messaging biases similar to what I’ve written up. Any dating site probably
has these biasesAccording to our internal metrics, at least, OkCupid’s users are better-educated, younger, and far more progressive than the norm, so I can imagine that many sites would actually have worse race stats. But like I said at the beginning, we’ll probably never know. See you next week.
For a further discussion of race and replies, the same-sex equivalents of this post’s data are here.
To make a very simple point.. Race is directly tied to Culture. Its not simply about a white or brown or black face. It’s about the entire lifestlye, beliefe system, and culture “associated” with a certain look..
Vinadrum, traditional Indian culture typically is associated with polytheism, very close ties to mom and dad (moreso than just being “close” to them, almost and NEED to please them..) the a particular, very unique music, an expectation of how to raise children, and expectation of how to be an Indian husband, and how life should be lived..
A non-traditional Indian man, although having the same lineage and blood-lines, but being far more open minded, flexible in how children should be raised, with no ridgid guidelines on what is expected of him, being independent of mom and dad, and listening to “typical” American music, would most likely attract far more blonde, blue eyed, white American girls than you would.
My friend, I am NOT insulting you or your culture, and my statements apply to ALL cultures. The point I am trying to make is its not about your looks, it’s about the culture and lifestyle and expectations that come ASSOCIATED with your looks. People tend to stereotype, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are racists.
Take for example Tony Kanal, the Bass player for No Doubt. He is ethnically Indian. But unlike you, he is NOT tradtional.. therefore, he will attract far different women than you will, even if you both look very similar. Clearly that has to do with lifestyle, and not race.
Such as I being a white American male competing with a Brittish white male. If we dressed and looked like identical twins, there will still be a huge difference in the types of women we date…
..but maybe not in profile responses to still images.
Vinadrum, Tony Kanal from No Doubt will undoubtedlly attract vastly different types of women than you will. You are traditional, he is not.
Ben, my ex-girlfriend was Asian, and she said generally she would not date black men, but loved Will Smith, and would definitely take a ride on his disco stick.
I am a white American, and every time I have been in groups of Irish or Brittish white men, the girls automatically were attracted to them over me.
Its not -so much- about race, as it is about stereotypes -associated- with certain images or races.. Sure, it’s still not right.. but Ben, even you can ask yourself this question..
“Who is -likely- to be more sophisticated? A young Brittish black man, or a young American black man?”
See my point. This survey doesnt really take into account all of the cultural aspects. Only image. I’d like to see OKCupid separate statistics by the ipaddress of the countries users are in..
Jessie,
you said “but asking the very people who are most adversely affected by them to internalize their categorical rejection and see themselves as naturally aesthetically inferior (which IS what you’re suggesting) is a fool’s errand. ”
I don’t get this. What is wrong with just accepting that you are not as attractive as some other group of people? 90% of people are not as attractive as celebrities, yet we all admit that to ourselves with no problem. 90% of women become fat and unattractive as soon as they have kids anyway. I have all kinds of negative traits myself, but I focus on the positive. You will never be as attractive, smart, successful ,strong, etc as that other person. Just deal with it!
So much of what is “beautiful” is defined by Hollywood and Madison Ave. So clearly Whie women and men are favored. They’re on tv as the “hot” girl/ guy. Most other ethnicities are ignored. Asian women are very popular here in DC. White guys just love’em. Asian guys don’t enjoy the same favored status. Whatever. How you carry yourself individually carries so much more weight. That said you don’t really want anyone that “only dates ____” Guaranteed psycho.
@Arun
No Brother please don’t give up! So much of it is being willing to keep trying. I am a short, skinny African-American. I have dated many races. You look how you look and can’t do much with that. You can, however, work on your personality. Go out and talk with women. Doesn’t matter if you get their number. Just get used to being around them. Have real female friends. They (women) can tell if you hang around women or not. It’s not all about being the most handsome guy, it’s about being confident in your own skin.
I wish these statistics were more equitable. It’s hard to see biases like these.
This is Response 1104 (or thereabouts).
Some Quick Thoughts On Metanalysis of the Article/Statistical Analysis & Interpretation
Always keep in mind a couple of things when reading and attempting to interpret articles/polls like this:
- “Correlation does not necessarily imply Causation”
- “There are lies, dammed lies, and statistics”
- Self-selection
- Statements that have to be prefaced with “In general and on average” are, in general and on average, entirely useless because they are either (a) entirely self-evident (men are taller than women), and/or (b) have too many exceptions to make them useful as a guide for action.
AND YET:
- Any outcome must have a cause/explanation (and randomness/luck/coincidence can be explanations as well).
So how does one explain the fact that black women who initiate contact via a message get significantly fewer replies?
I don’t know – dork that I am, I want to see the “raw data” and all the algorithms, etc.
But I think the author makes a pretty good case – this population of 3.5MM after all, is self-selected. Progressive, open to the idea of inter-racial dating (for white females, apparently open for others not for themselves). As Vinadrum noted in a comment, ethnics-specific dating/matrimonial sites means that the 3.5 million members of this site are most likely a different group (or most of them at least).
Could black women be getting a lower reply rate b/c they are sending out a whack load more messages (spam)? Seems unlikely for this set (what’s the average median family/household income of the black females? education?)
Or maybe black women are sending out more – because they assume that the majority of people, especially non-black males, will harbour racial prejudices, and so think to themselves, “my reply rate is going to suck, so my chances of making a good connection increase if I send out more messages”
So I’d like to know the absolute number of replies received as well.
Have to go. More later,
I’m just saying that that’s not going to happen. You can’t expect an entire race of women to believe that they’re ugly. So why waste your time trying? What’s it to you if they hold their appearance in high esteem, anyway?
I am an Asian guy, and I don’t like interracial dating. You people who say Asian men should wine because we don’t date black women, well I don’t like interracial dating period. I don’t value white, black or hispanic over asian.
I think it is sad that Asian women are throwing themselve at whites and mocking Asian men.
Black women who complain should be looking at their men.
I find it moronic to decry the above statistics as evidence of users behaving as ‘turds’. as above readers have mentioned, the evidence does not take into account the myriad social, economic and cultural factors clouding the issue.
And on a more personal, i find women of all races attractive. However, if given a random group of a 100 white women, a 100 indian, a 100 afro-american, etc, I would doubtlessly find a larger portion of the white women attractive if i search for certian commonalities – language, ethical values, music taste, etc. note – I AM NOT A RACIST, i simply seek certain aesthetic and cultural commonalities that lead me to tend towards white girls. If i sought dark hair and a curvier build and an appreciation of the tyra banks show (or whatever generalisations you want to apply) i would probably want to seek women from other ethnic groups.
To the author – it really irritates me that you would turn very broad trends, based on legitimate preferences from users, into some sort of attack. imagine i love girls with dark, almond shaped eyes and clear porcelain skin (which i do). why would i then reply to messages from afro-American or polynesian or even most white girls? It doesn’t mean i think any races are inferior, it simply means i have an aesthetic preference, and increase my chances of finding individuals with such traits by narrowing my search to specific ethnic groups. the same process would occur if i was basing my search upon other features, whether they be music preference, language, food preference, etc.
This is sobering. I am a 30 something black women who has no problems dating black, white or hispanic. White males are constantly asking me out and messaging me just as much if not more than black males. Idk I think this is hype.
This is so interesting! And you’re such a cool site for releasing this data! Bravo!
Keep in mind that Whites will officially become a minority in the United States around 2030-2040, perhaps even sooner. With this new demographic trend already occurring before our very eyes (in many cities and states, such as mine, that is already the case), it’s interesting to theorize how and whether interracial dating preferences will change.
First of all, non-whites will no longer be able to point to the “average Joe” argument in discussing any preference for whites, since the average person will in fact be “brown” by that time. And with the rise of China as the world’s new superpower, could a sharp preference for Asians develop? It seems plausible, if we accept the “cultural” explanation for dating preferences. Asians will be the privileged new high-status ethnicity, and the average person in the US will be non-white anyway, so both of these trends would mean that whites would become less desirable.
However, what if nothing changes? That would point to some deeper, perhaps biological explanations for the preferences spelled out in this article. At the very least, the cultural argument would be sidelined. There are some intriguing signs that evaluations of race (or racial attractiveness) are indeed made on a biological level. Studies show that upon seeing people of a dark complexion, both light- and dark-skinned people show unusual activity in the amygdala.
Basically, the demographic shift happening right now in the US is an exciting test of how the dating landscape will play out in the coming years.
This is, of course, really sad. It shows that we are far from conquering racism. I’m glad you published these statistics. I strongly believe that holding a mirror up to reality is the best way to help people consciously decide to change their behavior.
I wonder what these statistics would be over time. It’s too bad OKcupid statistics would only go back a few years. Even though these statistics look bad, I would bet that they are better than ten years ago. I certainly hope they’d be better than 30, 40 or 50 years ago. I’ve heard that the rates of interracial marriage are higher than in the past. I hope some of these other sites (especially the longer-established ones) are willing to analyze their statistics, too — even if they do it anonymously.
I wonder, though, whether these trends would go up or down in association with other societal events or movements. Do people think these statistics are better or worse, for example, than they would have been in the early 70s, when the civil rights movement was probably at the peak of its effect on social consciousness (before the backlash)?
I also wonder how these statistics break down by age. Are older OKcupid users more open or less open to interracial dating? Anyway, one thing I learned is that I should be less shy about messaging black women. For some odd reason I had assumed black women would be less interested in white men.
Hi, I admire your courage in publishing this particular trend. I’m shocked at the number of white women who admit a racial preference. It’s hard to tell if they either deserve credit for being honest or derision for being racist.
As a white woman, I also recognize my own tendency to judge other white women for preferring white men, while I have far greater compassion for Native American women preferring Native American men. This is probably due to the fact that I think Native Americans are some of the most physically beautiful people in the world and I would hate to see their particular beauty lost in the giant melting pot of America.
This whole mating thing is just far too complicated and mind boggling for me to begin to conjecture. Thank you for doing such a great job! …Regina
Interesting, but not surprising. I am a black American female and I notice that I usually get more attention from European whites and blacks from places in the UK, France, Italy, Germany, Sweden, and the Netherlands than American blacks and whites. I also get hit on by Asians, mostly Korean, sometimes Indians, and once Japanese. I’ve never understood why. My friends would always tease me that I must be wearing some type of invisible sign. It’s almost like I don’t pass the “American standard” of beauty.
Maybe my features have something to do with it? I have high cheekbones and almond shaped eyes.My family is mostly black, but on my mother’s side they are mixed with Native American. Her grandmother was full-blooded Cherokee Indian and her father was also half Native American. Oddly people always think that I’m from outside the U.S. I don’t know, I just think it’s strange that I’m less likely to get hit on by American men and I am American.
I agree with Asa, as a white male I want a white wife and white kids. Its amazing how deeply offended some of you are but regardless I won’t be changing to make anyone here happy.
Interesting, but at the end of the day people can date who they want. If you prefer your own race, thats fine. I dont see why some people get bent out of shape about it.
I cant stand the ultra-PC types who act as if its a crime to date within your own race. They are just as bad as those who tell people not to date interracially, maybe even worse becaue they are accepted.
Let’s be honest here. A white women dating/mating with another minority person will be losing out on her status in society and her mixed race kids will not enjoy the same status that she did as a full blood white person. Face the facts. Look around us and white people are still in control of many facets of American life and society. A white man marrying a minority woman may be able to bring their kids into ‘white life’, but it is harder the other way around. That explains their inclination to be most endogamous of any race women.
Actually there were 2 similar studies done before this one by Cupid.com. One was by Colombia Univ. on graduate students in speed dating. That study was kind of biased IMHO because the participants tended to be from an exclusive select group (ie Ivy League, East Coast-NYC based,). The other study was done by Yahoo Personals on online dating (a lot of questoinable weirdos on that site based on my browsing). Both studies confirm Asian men had it worst and that women of all races preferred them least although they are some of the highest income earners and academic achievers in this nation.
One earlier study done more than 10 years ago (by Steve Sailer) claims it is genetics and biology that explains these dating/mating trends that we often see. Namely, the reason why Asian men and black women are often excluded in the mating game has more to do with genetics than it does racial attitudes of others. The claim is on a totem pole, it is often Asian men who are preconceived to look less ‘masculine’, while black women are often seen as less ‘feminine.’
Seriously, I have seen big athletic Asian men get rejected at clubs and small wiry black guys get approached like rock stars there. It is not totally a case of genetics. Attitudes, current social trends and approval from peers all play into the dating/mating game as well. We are liars if we deny it. Tastes and demand can come and go just like that.
Everybody says there is this RACE problem. Everybody says this RACE problem will be solved when the third world pours into EVERY white country and ONLY into white countries.
The Netherlands and Belgium are more crowded than Japan or Taiwan, but nobody says Japan or Taiwan will solve this RACE problem by bringing in millions of third worlders and quote assimilating unquote with them.
Everybody says the final solution to this RACE problem is for EVERY white country and ONLY white countries to “assimilate,” i.e., intermarry, with all those non-whites.
What if I said there was this RACE problem and this RACE problem would be solved only if hundreds of millions of non-blacks were brought into EVERY black country and ONLY into black countries?
How long would it take anyone to realize I’m not talking about a RACE problem. I am talking about the final solution to the BLACK problem?
And how long would it take any sane black man to notice this and what kind of psycho black man wouldn’t object to this?
But if I tell that obvious truth about the ongoing program of genocide against my race, the white race, Liberals and respectable conservatives agree that I am a naziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews.
They say they are anti-racist. What they are is anti-white.
Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white.
i am white and i dont mind interratiol relationships at all infact im more atracted to asians then white and im sure i am not the only one this page is biased and maby a tatd raceset with some comemts you mentioned please people dont take this sericly oh and sorry for bad spelling its late and i dont feel like spell checking everything oh and i am an adult
I guess it sucks to be a Black female who is attracted to many races of humans… time to force myself to only be attracted to Black men and narrow my sea of choices.
@Chuck: interesting statistics there. Very interesting. And I agree with all of it.
I am a 30-something black woman who is generally attracted to men of all races. However, I am aware that black women are placed typically towards the bottom of the “totem pole” when it comes to dating (and marriage). I can’t control, nor would I want to, the preferences and desires of any group of men, but I wish sometimes that black women were viewed past the negative stereotypes and terrible generalizations that plague us in the eyes of all groups of men.
I do understand that some men have specific preferences, whether those preferences are for women in their own ethnic group or for women outside of it (who aren’t black); I respect that. But for other men, there’s not a doubt in my mind that what stops them from approaching black women are the preconceived notions and misconceptions of black women, coupled with the possible disapproval of family and friends (and even people they don’t know). Although I’m aware that both men and women of every ethnic group come packaged with some number of stereotypes, I believe that black women have it the worst.
I have been approached by a few white men – though not many – and ironically, the last four men that I’ve dated (nothing serious) have been white. I find that for me, I tend to be attracted to them more, and there’s a number of reasons for that, too many to go into here.
~ A.C.
Let me add something to my last post.
When I stated that I tend to be more attracted to white men, the primary reason is not physical attractiveness, for I find black men very attractive; how could I not, since I myself am black?
Based on my experience, I typically have more in common with the white men that I talk to. The interests that I have seem not to be shared by the black men that I encounter.
These charts are crap, albeit interesting crap.
Why are Whites singled out as being biased by ethnicity or race when these charts supposedly point out some strong tendencies in preference with other ethnicities/races? Have you ever thought that some people choose mates that look a lot like them (or their Mother or Father) as the opposite sex?
Growing up, I found very few boys/guys not my race that I also found attractive. Should I blame someone for that? I went to an Art College, so there was a lot of variety. The 2 half black guys I was interested in… we just weren’t in the same place at the same time, ie. one guy was in college & I was in HS, then with the 2nd guy I lived in the midwest & he lived in Boston.
It’s a shame that Black women get the ‘cold shoulder,’ but they have the reputation as being relentless and aggressive & not in a friendly way. Americas Next Top Model does nothing to help change that perception, lol.
I’m over 30 and I notice all the time that most commercials I see are either aimed at white people or latinos… (Isn’t there a Chinese demographic in the US??) I liked the Febreze commercial that showed an East Indian family enjoying their nice smelling room. I wish more commercials would just show more variety in consumers in general. I understand that there are demographics but some of that marketing logic should be shifting.
Another thing, despite that this ’study’ makes for interesting conversation, we aren’t the ones that are going to have sex with the person someone else chooses to get involved with. What I mean is, it all comes down to is, who I wanna fuck or not fuck is my business. So who gives a shit what color I am and he is??
Go read some of Darwin’s Evolutionary theory and stop trying to make race such a big issue!
I’d like to see a chart of education tendencies in correlation to race and sex….
Just like A.C. says, its not simply race.. its race+geography=cultural stereotype. Id bet any sum of money that if it were -further- broken down by country, (I.E. black -Americans- vs. black -Englis men) the response rates would be noticeably different.
I have an idea. Lets pass legislation that forces White People to intermarry with non-whites.
White-European people only make up 10-15% of the Global Population and that is declining.
Leave us alone you Genocidal race maniacs.
Is it racist merely to have race-related preferences? I would say no. To me, racism requires more, namely judging individuals based on their race.
Simply feeling more attracted to prospective partners of one race over another needn’t meet this criterion. I can find white guys more attractive than guys of color and refrain from making any judgments about who they are as people based on their race.
Obvs there are more complex historical and cultural stories behind racial preferences, but honestly, preferring white guys doesn’t feel much different from ruling out short guys or redheads. I respond to guys when I feel attracted to them, and lots of different physical characteristics affect attraction, including race.
It was surprising to see what a big disparity there is in how the researcher, Christian, characterizes the low reply rates of a group of people in this blog post, versus how he characterizes the low reply rates of another group of people in a different blog post he authored, “Your Looks And Your Inbox.”
In this post, he takes Caucasian guys to task for not replying more often, calling their behavior “shitty”:
“White guys are shitty, but fairly even-handed about it. The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often. It’s ironic that white guys are worst responders, because as we saw above they get the most replies. That has apparently made them very self-absorbed.”
Yet in “Your Looks And Your Inbox,” he apparently sees it as perfectly unremarkable that another group of people who get more replies than average — users rated as attractive — would respond less frequently, and he notes this fact without making any negative judgments:
“As you’d expect, more attractive people get more replies. And since they themselves get so many more messages than everyone else, they write back much less frequently.”
The two posts are only dated about a month apart (this one 10/5/09 and the other 11/17/09), which would seem to make it less likely that his views towards people not replying to messages were simply much more forgiving at the time he posted the more recent entry.
I don’t think it’s necessarily racist to be more attracted, on average, to members of some racial groups than to others, so after reading the post I had to disagree with his contention that the data he presented proves that “racism is alive and well.” Racism is certainly one possible explanation for varying rates of attraction or response, but not the only one, nor to my mind even the most likely one.
However, I do think that condemning a particular racial group in harsh terms for behavior excused in others is a fairly strong indication of racism. While I hope there’s another explanation for the double standard noted above, the possibility that Christian’s “racism is alive and well” contention was less a reflection of an objective look at the data than a reflection of his own racist biases seems worth considering.
i just plain feel sorry for people who want to date within their own race exclusively. i mean, i don’t judge them – go for it, but man are you missing out on some awesome ass.
i pride myself on having conquered the six inhabited continents. i value space exploration in the hopes that girls on mars are freaks.
you should too.