Comments on: The Big Lies People Tell In Online Dating http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/ The Official Blog of OkCupid.com Wed, 24 Sep 2014 13:49:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.7 By: EelKat http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-34548 Tue, 24 May 2011 03:38:22 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-34548 I found this very interesting as, in my searching, I found a local guy I’ve known for years, and his profile lists him as 6’4″, aged 45, with a $200k+ income, and shows a photo of himself which is over 20 years old!

FACT: He is 6’2″ not 6’4″.

FACT: he is 62 years old not 45.

FACT: he is unemployed and living on welfare checks with less than $20k income.

I confronted him on this, told him I’d run across his account and asked why he had lied about this stuff. He said he was looking for a girl in the 18 – 25 age range and that she would not want him if he told the truth about himself.

I was very disappointed in him for doing this. I would want a man to be honest and up front with me, right from the beginning: right from the first time I saw his profile.

I’m honest on mine, granted I suppose it makes me less desirable, but than again, those that would dump me for those flaws are men I would not want to spend time with any ways seeing how they would cross me off on something as silly as height, age, or income!

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By: Lex http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-34469 Wed, 18 May 2011 22:29:11 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-34469 Most of your statements seems false. The big lies people tell in online dating, are relative to their personalities not the general crowd. Some people are truthful because they intend to meet people off of okcupid and don’t want to cause problems right off the bat. I’m 6 Foot 3 Inches in real life, my profile says the same thing, if you want I’d be happy to take a picture next to measuring tape. It’s about peoples personalities and if they’re actually truthful or not. Don’t rip on the whole crowd for the few people you may have interviewed or some info you have gathered. How do you know the statistics you collected were actually true?

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By: Baz http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-34434 Tue, 17 May 2011 13:43:31 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-34434 Very interesting article.. It’s a shame more people in the comments’ box don’t seem to be open-minded enough to understand the idea of an “objective” study.

I’m always astonished how many people throw words into the “gay community’s” mouth, as I’m openly gay in a very gay city, and never see any of these problems at all. Maybe some of these mouthy commenters should stop drawing assumptions about others based on how THEY identify (ex: assuming I won’t date someone who’s bi, because I’m gay and the ‘gay community’, whatever that is, and their gosh-darn ‘gay agenda’… again whatever that is…. say that I shouldn’t.) Then people will want to date them. Stop victimizing yourselves, nobody wants to date a victim.

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By: Alexander http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-34213 Wed, 04 May 2011 20:13:04 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-34213 This article makes everybody out to be complete liars. You are assuming that everybody on an online dating site exaggerates every single thing about themselves. In my personal experience of meeting people from these sites, the opposite has been true and I have a few buddies on these sites and they don’t exaggerate either. Your section of “Here’s a recent pic”, while partially true, simply relies on the comedic assumption that the people meeting each other will be the opposite of what their picture looks like, and again, that is not true. What a bullshit article this is.

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By: Charles http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-34168 Tue, 03 May 2011 02:22:07 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-34168 The 76 cents that a woman makes compared to men is not based on the same work. It is based on W2s and in includes comparing part-time receptionists with construction workers putting in overtime.

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By: ruse-amen http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-33871 Sat, 23 Apr 2011 09:34:03 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-33871 Tom: You invited me to the flame war and I found my matches.

Rose pointed out that the article implies bisexual identification is (potentially) a lie. How is that not “taking away my sexuality”?

The fact that the url contains “the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating” has nothing to do with the statistics discussed, and those statistics don’t lend magical authority that forces us to accept the implied social norms at issue. By pointing out and discussing the coincidence in choice of language with topic matter, we all benefit.

Why do you assume Rose “takes it personally”? What does that mean? Are you taking her comment personally? She’s also “taking it publicly”, and in my book taking a public stand to point out implicit yet harmful social norms is admirable.

Your mock voicing of being criticized for sexism is “poisoning the well”. Look it up on wikipedia if you want to level up on flame wars (or generally help make the world more betterer).

I’m curious about why you mock complaints about sexism, because I see that kind of reaction frequently and if I could understand its source I’d be a more effective advocate of feminism and queer progress. Can you recall experiences which may have contributed to your sentiment?

Also, I don’t have much faith in your anecdotal generalization of women. In my experience (which hasn’t been sufficiently statistically analyzed 😉 there’s no discernable difference in the variation or sensitivity on what sexuality means across gender.

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By: zephyr8blue http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-33764 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 21:04:56 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-33764 no need to take it personally… if you understand the data you have to understand its impossible to prescribe one thing for every single person… its looking at a trend.

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By: Anne Marie http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-33668 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 08:09:43 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-33668 The bi issue:

I think that might be skewed by the fact that bisexual women still expect to be approached by men, but expect to approach women and the same goes for men. Well, fewer men would be expected to be approached by men because they know there is some stigma against bisexual men in the gay community, but that may be balanced out by intimidation of approaching gay men when they have those expectations. I would also like to point out that sexuality is on a sliding scale and bisexual people may be attracted to one gender much more often, but be open to relationships with people of either gender.

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By: mangoyumyum http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-33607 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 00:17:21 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-33607 Ok, so as a 6 ft. woman (yes, really!) I can say that I know that I intimidate people. I hear it all the time, once I get to know someone. People- get over it! Ask me out-jk!

As far as the bisexuality debate goes, I think it’s presumptuous to assume that people are calling themselves bi to be cool. OkCupid really needs to expand the sexual orientation section- it’s outrageously outdated. Hello- QUEERS!!! And, as far as that goes, for people of the female gender who identify as queer / gay / bi, etc. I think it would be helpful to have an option of saying whether one is butch or femme. I find it really hard to meet femme ladies who are into femmes, unless of course I am at a gay bar- but I am here, online, it should be easier!

For a while, I mostly checked out women on here because I had a male partner. But now I am single and messaging both men and women.

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By: Mike http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/comment-page-17/#comment-33436 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 08:25:48 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=3882#comment-33436 In regards to taller women getting fewer messages: I find when I click on a profile of a woman 5’8″ or taller, she usually states that she is interested only in tall men, usually 2″ or more taller than herself. I talk that serious if I don’t meet her height requirement.

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