Gay issues have been in the news a lot lately, from the debate over same-sex marriage in Congress to a sickening rash of gay-bashing here in New York City. We see a lot of emotion out there, instead of information, and we wanted to provide some data-based context on sexuality so that people might make better choices about what they say, think, and do.
We run a massive dating site and therefore have unparalleled insight into sex and relationships. Here's what we've found, in numbers and charts.


First of all, gay sexuality is not a threat.
Gay people are not sexually interested in straights.
The subtext to a lot of homophobic thinking is the idea that gays will try to get straight people into bed at the first opportunity, or that gays are looking to "convert" straights. Freud called this concept schwanzangst; the U.S. Army calls it Don't Ask Don't Tell.
We combed through over 4 million match searches, and found virtually no evidence of it:
- only 0.6% of gay men have ever searched for straight matches.
- only 0.1% of lesbians have ever searched for straight matches.
- only 0.13% of straight people's profile visitors are gay.
In our dataset, there was not a single gay user, male or female, who primarily searched for straight people.
Gay people aren't promiscuous.
Another common myth about gay people is that they sleep around, but the statistical reality is that gay people as a group aren't any more slutty than straights.
- straight men: 6
- gay men: 6
- straight women: 6
- gay women: 6
Here's how the distribution curves compare:

- 45% of gay people have had 5 or fewer partners (vs. 44% for straights)
- 98% of gay people have had 20 or fewer partners (vs. 99% for straights)
It turns out that a tiny fraction of gays have single-handedly two-handedly created the public image of gay sexual recklessness—in fact we found that just 2% of gay people have had 23% of the total reported gay sex, which is pretty crazy.

Straight people have gay sex, too.
Another inquiry that had unexpected results: we asked 252,900 straight people have you ever had a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex?
Almost a quarter answered 'yes'.

Click the airport-bathroom style icons to toggle the sex(es) displayed. Not unexpectedly, more women than men have had same-sex desires:
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straight women's same-sex desires:
- 1 in 3 straight women has hooked up with another woman.
- and of those who haven't, over 1 in 4 would like to.
As for straight men, a surprisingly high 13% have had a same-sex experience, and another 5% haven't yet but would like to.
Using the incredible power of computers, we were able to break down this question geographically. Here are straight people who either have had or would like to have a same-sex experience in the continental U.S. and lower Canada. You can see some sharp geographic divides.



Awesomely, the mountain West lives up to its Brokeback reputation, and Canada is orange nearly coast-to-coast. Even in the yellow and blue areas, you can see pockets of gay curiosity in interesting places: Austin, Madison, Asheville. Anywhere soy milk is served, basically.

Sidenote
Doing the research for this post, I came across many awful things our elected officials have said about gay people; here's a relatively calm example:

For starters, I found that a fun game to play with stuff like this is to replace the words "homosexual" and "gay" with "politician"—then you have something that's actually true.
I also spent a lot of time looking up match questions to debunk this particular claim. Down in the database I discovered one question with a surprising disparity, not between orientations, but between genders. Like Frodo to the Balrog, I wished I'd never unearthed it.

Come on, people. #facepalm.

Beyond Sex: Gay & Straight Personalities
More than just asking about specific desires and behaviors, our match questions are designed to tease out our users' underlying personalities. We've collected over 669 million answers from users so far. Below is a straight/gay comparison on 23 personality categories. You can mouse-over the ?s for each category to pop-up some examples of the many questions that affect it.

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Two things: (1) The idea of the typical straight man as a kind bullying jock seems to be broadly true, though there is also a strong dork streak there, as well.
(2) Looking closely at the chart for females, we can improve upon Marx's famous dictum.

In any event, a lot of these measured traits are reflected by the users' own words. Like we did before with race, we looked at the interests and tastes statistically unique to the different orientations, according to their personal profiles. We crunched millions of words of essay text and found the phrases most correlated to a particular sexual preference; again, these are the users' own words.
The Stuff Gay People Like
For both sexes, a lot of this stuff is way stereotypical. The size of the phrases indicate their relative popularity to the norm, and I actually had to shrink "The L Word" down to fit in our template. Meanwhile gay men's interests speak for themselves, evidently with an exaggerated lisp.
Compare those lists to their equally typical straight counterparts, below. It's like two zen koans, one by Meg Ryan, one by a viking:
The Stuff Straight People Like
As you can see, sexual orientation makes a huge difference in the words you choose to describe yourself. The small but enormous difference between lesbians' a girlfriend and straight women's my girlfriends says it all.
We extended this gay vs. straight analysis and for each orientation measured the frequencies of all one-, two-, and three-word phrases against the site-wide rates. Here's the breakdown:

There's no question that according to this analysis gay people are "different;" as you can see, gay interests and self-descriptions have little to do with the mainstream's. In fact what these numbers are saying is that the average gay person has only about 30% in common with the average American. But, ironically enough, when it comes to identity, it's hardly rare to be an outlier here. Adding an ethnic group to the plot helps put it in perspective:

Of course, as far as I know, no one's saying that Indians shouldn't get married or shouldn't be allowed to adopt children. The people of Louisiana even elected Bobby Jindal, an openly Indian man, as their governor!
We hope gay people can expect the same treatment very soon.

Adventurous
Would you consider trying food without being told what it is?
Would you consider permanently living in another country?
Would you ever get on a motorcycle?
Aggressive
Do you like to argue?
Have you ever yelled at the TV?
Do you go to great lengths to avoid conflict?
Ambitious
Would you be happy raising the kids while your spouse worked?
Which comes first for you, work or friends?
Do you want to be famous?
Artsy
Are you an aspiring actor/artist/writer or other creative type?
Do you like going to museums?
Do movies with subtitles bother you?
Compassionate
Is it your responsibility to help your fellow human beings?
Are you the type of person to tell a homeless person to get a job?
Do overweight people annoy you?
Competitive
Is it important to you to have the last word in an argument?
Do you like board games?
If someone wrongs you...do you eventually exact revenge?
Confident
Would you say you're smarter than average?
Are you okay with trying things that you're bad at?
Are you intimidated by a partner who is more sexually experienced than you?
Dorky
Do you think the International Space Station would be a cool place to get married?
Do you know what 'http' stands for?
Do you own any dice with more than six sides?
Generous
Do you give your best friend a birthday gift?
How much do you give each year to charity?
When you loan something small to a friend, do you really care if it gets returned?
Horny
How often do you think about sex?
How often do you masturbate?
Ideally, how many dates would you go on with someone before you have sex?
Into Drugs
What's your relationship to marijuana?
Do you think drug use with your partner can be a romantic activity?
Have you tried hard drugs, like, anything you need to 'cook'?
Into Sports
Do you play actual sports?
Do you enjoy exercise?
Do you have a favorite sports team, that you really like to follow?
Introverted
Does the idea of staying in and reading a book on a Friday night appeal to you?
Do you need "alone time" to re-charge after social situations?
At parties, do you go up and talk to people?
Kinky
Does group sex sound like a great idea?
Do you like sex toys?
Have you ever used nipple clamps?
Literary
Can you name an author from each continent (besides Antarctica)?
In high school, did you read books that weren't assigned in class?
Do spelling mistakes annoy you?
Optimistic
Do things generally turn out for the best?
Can just one person significantly change the world?
Do you think happiness is possible for all people?
Polite
Do you say something like 'bless you' when a stranger sneezes?
Do you hold the door for people?
Are you frequently under-dressed for special occasions?
Political
Have you ever marched in a protest?
Is it a person's civic duty to vote?
Do you know who your state's Senators are?
Romantic
Have you been around candlelight recently?
Do you like costume dramas?
Do you like to say 'I love you'?
Religious
Do you believe in the power of prayer?
Is there a God?
Do you believe in miracles? You sexy thing?
Spontaneous
Do you bring an umbrella if it looks like rain?
Do you often find yourself bored in relationships after a few months?
Have you ever had a one-night stand?
Trusting
Do you think most people give to charity?
Do you ever leave your drink unattended at a bar?
Do you think a straight man and a straight woman can truly just be friends?
Violent
Would you find it easier to kill for your beliefs or to die for them?
Have you ever thrown an object in anger during an argument?
Do you own a gun?




Come one people, surely. Those percentages are FAR too high, seriously.
Wow, gay men have awful taste in music.
insightful as ever. Good work guys.
I love you guys.
this is what i love best about this site. you guys do really interesting research with the data you have amassed. and i love the social conscience that underlies articles like this one. great going guys.
best line in the whole article: Religion is the opiate of the masses, so long as the masses are straight. However, amass a bunch of lesbians and you’re going to need actual drugs.
i fell off my chair!
In defense to the Earth/sun question:
It might be due to a patter of perception. To us, the Earth is MASSIVE compared to the sun because of how close we are to Earth compared to that spherical mass of gas.
I don’t know…I’m just trying to help!
My real question is this:
If there was no such thing as religion or the text within certain religious morals, would there still be as big an issue as there is with homosexuality?
Also:
Was homosexuality such a big taboo during the Renaissance Period?
That first chick in the upper left is hot.
First an foremost, I don’t need any site, organization, or person to give me info on my view on gay sex or relationships. I am completely informed on my own. Thank you!)
Homosexuality is Wrong, period! It is a sin! ….and if your not religious, it is still wrong to nature it self! It is sick! Repulsing and vulgar! It is not natural! A woman’s body is for the man.Period! In every ones heart’ they know that to be true. But they choose to be different! —-In life you can choose to go against the flow. …But don’t you dare think you can force people to accept it! I have my view, you have your view. ….and there will always be that divide. –To the end of time!!!!!!!
Paul L.
I always find this blog interesting, worthwhile, well-done, etc. And kudos for taking on a big subject of prejudice and ignorance within American society!
but but but . . . as a gay guy from newfoundland, I am kind of pissed that you cut off the three easternmost provinces of Canada on your map. I can understand the northern territories (and maybe PEI) might have too low a population to make up a meaningful dataset, but come on, Nova Scotia and Newfoundland? I can kind of make out a tiny slice of western Labrador, and it’s green-shaded (quelle suprise).
Yeah, we know part of Canada is left off the map, as is part of the U.S. (Alaska and Hawaii). Space contraints, my friends, space constraints.
You think what Demint has to say his bad, check out his constituency: http://foxnewscomments.com/tag/homophobia/
Is it possible that “country music” (straight women) is from phrases like “I’ll listen to everything except rap and country music” in addition to things like “I love country music”?
very well done and it’s funny how cliche everyone describes themselves. you guys do an amazing job putting all those numbers together and getting something coherent to come out. i especially love the maps you guys come up with.
one thing that i’ve noticed, and understanding that it’s a complex issue, it seems the main focus is on gay vs straight. it wasn’t until the bottom that you had numbers for bisexuals. it’d be interesting to see some numbers for both male and female bisexuals as well with these figures. as a bisexual man with the whole gay debate going on we tend to get sidelined.
keep up the good work!
I’m not quibbling with your conclusions, I have no idea whether they are accurate or not. I was not clear, however, where you got your data on the number of partners, I did not see a source cited.
I think my biggest criticism of this piece was that it was an incredible opportunity to post a gratuitous pic or five of hot chicks making out with each other and you blew it. That fact really bothers me.
This whole article was really great. Thanks a lot.
I’d love to see something like this replicated for all sorts of different sample groups(i.e. regional groups, religious backgrounds, education levels). That is if you guys are bored. Otherwise, I bet there are some academics out there that would love to get their hands on your data.
An average gay woman is generally much kinkier than an average straight woman? Damn. :’-(
This was a great analysis of a lot of things that could use some hard data. I’d appreciate one clarification though- were bi users lumped in with either group, or removed from the study? The data from the later investigations would be interesting to see.
The whole point of the article Paul is that you aren’t as well ‘informed’ as you think…and if homosexuality is so against nature then why does it appear so often in nature….if your gonna spout an opinion, at least use real facts to back it >_>
Would be interesting to see these charts on Europe…
A bit shocked this survey is still a necessity in some parts of the world….
An interesting thing I’ve seen on OKC is women explaining that the Earth is bigger than the Sun using some metric other than size: the Earth is bigger in terms of variety of life, or something like that. It’s a good answer to the question, if a person is actually looking at the explanations — it probably messes up the algorithm otherwise!
1) Why didn’t you publish mean partners?
2) Why did you lump gay men/gay women together in the chart of % under X partners? The differences between gay men and gay women would be interesting.
3) What are the differences between urban and rural people under these same questions?
No one I know has a problem with BI girls but almost everyone I know see BI guys as not “friend worthy” I have no problems w/ who people like but I think people forget not everywhere is like L.A.NY or CHI in small places if you come out you can kiss the idea of getting a job good-bye.
A few (what I’d consider to be) mistakes here guys. Very uncharacteristic of this blog.
First off in Match Search Returns, did you normalize the value of % of gay visitors by the ratio of gay people to straight people in OKC? If not, then it is meaningless.
In your straight people with a sexual encounter analysis. Your question was “sexual encounter” but then you interpreted the data as if the question was “had sex with”. I know a lot of people who would consider a steamy moment on an airplane with an unnecessary hand brush and a lot of steamy eye contact to be a encounter with a sexual nature, and might answer yes to the a question about a “sexual encounter”.
Also since people aren’t born saying that they are gay, at some point everyone hits a point where they decide that they will openly describe themselves as gay. So lumped in with all the straight people who are interested in a same-sex encounter is all the people who will later realize that they are gay, but have simply set their OKC profile differently for the time being.
Also not written from an impartial view at all. While it’s your blog and you can do whatever you want. The tone of this article makes me feel that if you discovered a fact that supported a gay stereotype you would have excluded it from the article. Which makes me not want to trust the rest of the data.
Still enjoyed reading it though. Thanks!
I liked the “straight people have gay sex too” section. It will make me that much bolder in pursing threesomes.
as a response to Paul:
I did not chose it, in fact I lived a very proper, sheltered life and didn’t even know what being gay was untill middle school.
However, I have never been sexually attracted to a woman, no matter how gorgeous, a naked woman will never appeal to me, I don’t find them repulsive, it’s just kind of…meh.
and it wasn’t due to life influences, because most of my life I was raised by my catholic father.
Also, Your religion doesn’t even say homosexuality is wrong, it says that man should not lie with a man as he lies with woman.
meaning…boinkity boinking all through the night.
it’s perfectly acceptable for us to love eachother. Maybe you should stop worrying about what other people are doing in the bedroom and try to live your life, considering there’s nothing for you after death.
@Paul L: You know what it actually is? It’s none of your concern. Maybe you should focus on something that will actually do something good in your own life. I think it’s telling that you’re so passionate about gays in the first place, hmmm? Seriously. Go read a book, or plant a tree and try to better the world instead of focusing on hate and trying to convert people into your own warped, hateful existence.
@Ben: I agree, but not ALL gay men have terrible taste in music. Haha
What’s with the abrupt notch after 3 sexual partners? Why is it consistent across sexual orientations?
As always, you’ve taken the amazing amount of data that the users of your site volunteer and created a simple and insightful article. I’m just wondering if there’s a page I’m missing that links to more complicated breakdowns? Like how gay/straight preferences vary from the overall norm between ethnic groups?
I love Paul’s homophobic tirade, especially this bit: “A woman’s body is for the man.Period![sic]” Just gimme that old-time patriarchal misogyny! A woman’s body is destined to be a man’s property, but a woman’s mind? You’d better put a stop to that!
Thank you so much for your advocacy and your call for justice.
And to my fellow commentor – Paul – I am a pastor – a trained and graduate school educated theologian – I’ve taken Greek and Hebrew – and I wrestle mightily with GOd and with scripture. You are missing out brother. You are short sighted, judgmental and bigotted. And yes, I trust that God loves even you, even me.
People loving one another – wow -you should try it.
Excellent article. One note: “David Sedaris” is listed twice under gay male interests.
I’d be curious to know the number of hetero people who have hit on gay men or lesbians….
I’m also with Jake on wishing you had the time or wherewithal to include numbers on bi people too.
I love you Christian. Thanks for the compassion ;_;
Clearly this Study shows that Homosexual behavior is a choice, that human sexuality from bis, to curious, experimental is extremely malleable, and society should be aware and accept this.
From personal experience I’ve enjoyed it all,
it is the people who say “you are born with it” who are truly homophobic and ignorant (never practiced homosexuality), by saying its a fate they hope to distance themselves from their perceived stigma/bigotry (I would never be homosexual, because its genetic), they fear their own sexuality/desires.
There is no straight universal 100% homosexual, human sexuality is a spectrum, only ignorant, naive and gullible will say otherwise.
Paul is obviously gay.
first of all maximum respect for your research. Regarding to the #facepalm for the quesiton about earth/sun size, the question was badly wrote. Since as it is, the answer could depend from point of views. According to actual science, the sun is bigger this is a well known issue since hundreds of history. Anyway not everyone has occidental science as main thought when answering a question is a matter of time. For example, from our human being perspective, the world as we see it all around us is far more bigger that the small sun that we see up in the sky, from this perspective, according to our senses the earth is much bigger that the sun. The question was simply badly wrote. For more precise results (and yes, maybe another facepalm) the question should be “Accoding to our science, what’s bigger the sun or the earth?”
you mean The SouthEast isnt gay, and the West IS gay??? We already knew that……
And the fact is, many OKcupid users arent Gay, nor straight. They are the selfish bulk of people who claim to be “bisexual”. Yes……. penis or vagina, they will take either to satisfy their selfish lust for anything. The amount of Bisexual people on this site is sickening. Pick a gender and stick with it. Tired of you taking whatev you can get out of the cookie jar.
Disappointing that you didn’t add more stats on bisexuals! Really great article overall though. It’s amazing to see how many bisexuals identify as straight.
oh, and I think what they failed to mention is that “Bisexual” people are in fact much more sexually active than straight people (or gay people for that matter).
oh, next time could you also add how many gay men and women have had heterosexual encounters? I’ve met a lot of people who identify as gay who have had sex with people of the opposite sex (and enjoyed it) or wanted to. So I think that would be a good statistic to maybe add into a post similar to this but about bisexuals?
OkTrends has the most fascinating statistical reporting I’ve ever seen. This is really great work you are doing – entertaining, engaging, and enlightening. Thank you!
some of the dats isn’t presented clearly. the most obvious and confusing example is the question regarding number of sex partners– does that refer to # of partners in one month? one year? one life time??? the number is relatively small so i doubt it refers to a life time, but what does it mean?
@Paul: Get off your soapbox, provocateur…
I suppose next you’ll tell us that animals in the wild that are documented to prefer to engage in same-sex couplings are “going against the social order of their own culture or ‘what they know is wrong in their hearts’?” Nonsense. Utter and complete.
Love (not to be confused with lust) is a tricky thing… Judge not lest ye be judged. And don’t judge a man (or woman) until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. Bet you couldn’t make it a mile in high heels.
@Paul
“A woman’s body is for the man.Period! In every ones heart’ they know that to be true.”
Wow Paul, I see you’ve been doing some insightful data research of your own there. Impressive work! Yes, an army of psychics have done a world-wide poll and have confirmed – everyone knows this to be true, deep in their heart. I assure you, it’s not just your own wickle internal perspective lazily assumed upon the rest of the planet’s population.
“…But don’t you dare think you can force people to accept it! I have my view, you have your view. ….and there will always be that divide. –To the end of time!!!!!!!
Paul L.”
Gee, Paul. Trust me, nobody will dare, or care enough to try change your opinion. It’s just a shame you didn’t use your real OkCupid username so the vast majority of women here can avoid you like the plague.
I’d like to what mix of traits bi-sexuals share with gays.
For example, bisexual girls and gay females both … but bi-sexual girls match their straight sisters for …
So now that you’re supporting the “gays” on the site, are you going to start listening to the masses of them that wish “queer” was an option?
Out of the homophobic rant that Paul posted, there’s one thing I’d most like to take issue with.
A woman’s body is not “for the man”. My body is for *me*, fuck you very much.
I like the article, and what it reveals. I’m really glad that okcupid is taking a stand and showing proof of their data info, so people can try to begin to understand that we are all created equally, pay taxes, do whatever we want with our sex life and preferences, so let’s all be entitled to the same rights!
Fairly embarrassing that Jane Eyre made the list of things straight women like. I can only assume that they all missed the part where Jane gets back together with the polygamist because he really needs her…
Why differentiate? Love is love, attraction is attraction, friendship is friendship. It matters not the gender of people involved in a relationship as long as those people are happy with themselves and each other. If people would just accept this there would be a lot less conflict.