Comments on: Same-Sex Data for Race vs. Reply Rates http://blog.okcupid.com The Official Blog of OkCupid.com Thu, 02 Jun 2011 12:49:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.7.1 By: Mac http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-2/#comment-27573 Wed, 09 Feb 2011 14:09:36 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-27573 While I haven’t slept with a middle eastern man myself (not because of a preference either way, just hasn’t occurred yet), I’ve spent time on gay dating websites, and spent some time in their chatrooms. “Chat” of course would be a charitable way to refer to what occurs there, but that’s beside the point.

From what I’ve picked up watching the chats, a large part of the preference for middle eastern men comes from them being tall, dark, and handsome. A bigger part comes from the idea of them being dominant ‘tops’. But I think even more so, its the reputation for big penises. But I can’t vouch for the trueness of the stereotype. I mean, blacks have the same stereotype, and they seem to be less popular according to the data…

]]>
By: A.M http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-2/#comment-26654 Wed, 19 Jan 2011 00:02:48 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-26654 Bing a bi racial, bi chick, I seriously never thought race as a factor on here. Sorta shocking to me I guess.

]]>
By: Christian Alexander Tietgen http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-2/#comment-26457 Sun, 16 Jan 2011 06:29:38 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-26457 Gay guys are like girls. Interesting. Thank you for the data.

]]>
By: Marc http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-2/#comment-23983 Sun, 24 Oct 2010 15:01:04 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-23983 “Jane says:
October 8, 2010 at 10:30 pm

Not gonna lie. I’m a bi Asian female and I would date a black woman but not a black man. I would sleep with a black man, though.”

Wow…Jane. As a black man, I wish I could explain to you how offensive and disgusting your comment is.

But, I have a feeling I’d be wasting my words/breath…

]]>
By: hope http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-2/#comment-23855 Thu, 21 Oct 2010 16:52:26 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-23855 As a black lesibian, my experience in northern citties has been the opposite. It might be because I identfy as Butch but, I have found for the last tweenty years that black women my age won’t even consider going out with me or even tolerate me in thier spaces. In fact, I find that trying to socialize with them in any way, consitutes a violation of thier dignaty and thier womanhood. For some reson, I’ve always had a better(less loud and rude) response from any other race. You just can’t let things like this get you down.

]]>
By: Vandyalum10 http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-1/#comment-23388 Thu, 14 Oct 2010 05:39:08 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-23388 I think we need to differentiate between preference and race-based exclusion. I have a preference for red heads; however, I will date and/or communicate with non-red heads. If you will not date or consider a person attractive because of race for example, that’s not a preference…it’s discrimination. I know that gays love to think of themselves as above reproach on these issues, especially considering they love to co-opt the language and culture of blacks (for example); however, this analysis and comments, reinforce the fallacy of this perception. A good for step to fixing this would be to buy a dictionary a look up the meanings of preference, racism, and discrimination. The next step would involve you honestly asking yourself is this a preference (see definition) or discrimination. If you feel you don’t have to apologize for your “preferences,’ then why do you? I have had guys respond to messages with “I am only into white guys. Sorry, it’s my preference.” The sheer ignorance of that statement prompts me to respond with something along the lines of, “Do you know what a preference is? Because, I am fairly certain you are just an asshole.” Maybe it’s my educated, blackness, or my southern upbringing, but I cannot abide ignorant people, especially, when I message asking about the city to which I have recently relocated.

On a lighter note, I agree with illiniwatcher, when I apply my criteria for potential friends or dates, the pool of qualified candidates shrinks rapidly. I have grown weary of insipid homos and those people without a command of the English language (esp. when it’s the only one they speak). Stop trying to make nuanced excuses for this data. If you are simple enough to allow the media to tell you what is attractive then 1) you need a life and 2) I am too good for you. The media told me to, is not a legitimate reason to discriminate based on race.

]]>
By: Data Monger http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-1/#comment-23111 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 02:14:27 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-23111 Would be interesting to see the rates of sending invites as well as the rates of reply. Even though (for instance), white men rarely replied to emails from black men, what percentage of initial emails did black men send to white men? The data divides out that number. It might reveal other biases in the data (low send rates equal high response rates for instance).

]]>
By: Carrie Leilam Love http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-1/#comment-22976 Tue, 12 Oct 2010 21:03:00 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-22976 ok. no one should have to apologize for their desires. but we have to admit that we are conditioned to dominant beauty standards that shape those desires. i think people could do well to open themselves to find beauty where they don’t expect it. that said, i am not holding my breath for anyone to get there. i don’t feel rejected by people who don’t want to date black women because that quality in itself is such a turn-off I wouldn’t want to date them in the first place.

]]>
By: Jane http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-1/#comment-22684 Sat, 09 Oct 2010 02:30:56 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-22684 Not gonna lie. I’m a bi Asian female and I would date a black woman but not a black man. I would sleep with a black man, though.

]]>
By: Kitty http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/comment-page-1/#comment-20310 Fri, 17 Sep 2010 03:02:49 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?page_id=1049#comment-20310 Yay! “Gay Asian women are in the most demand”.

]]>