Comments on: Online Dating Advice: Same-Sex Messaging http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/ The Official Blog of OkCupid.com Wed, 08 Jul 2015 08:59:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.5 By: Crassulecean http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-24130 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 02:45:25 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-24130 Um. We can assume that the straight people outnumber gay people because a) these data sets are smaller and b) only two or three percent of women and less than five percent of men are gay.

FTR.

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By: Rackus http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-14171 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 03:49:50 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-14171 The thinking styles of both men and women are generally gender specific. Men tend to think in a simpler and categorical way. Male brains, are more like waffles. Syrup in the waffles dot spill into other “squares.” We think on a “one topic at a time” basis.

Women though, tend to think on a more complex and multitasking way. Female brains are like tye-dye yarn. It doesn’t really stop often, just gradually changes color. Also this supports the “women have better memory” idea. Because women can draw up “old pieces of yarn,” while men have to “start, stop, repeat.”

Therefore, with these two thinking styles; women can stand longer messages because their brains can handle the “heaviness,” while men would rather shorter messages because they generally prefer short and sweet, and to the point.

Even with same sex messages and the lean towards the opposite spectrum on the gender self-identification, There is still the absolute that you are either male or female, which remains indicitave in thought and interpersonal styles. Gay men are still flooding with testosterone, yet have some feminine tendancies thrown in the mix.

Think of this: A straight man goes to a bar and has a dispute with another man. They end up in a ffist fight because neither wants to concede. A gay man goes to a bar and has a dispute as well, however they tend to end up in a verbal battle because neither wants to concede.

Women who undergo the same situation have verbal battles that may end up in “silent, subtle warfare”

These event seem to unravel in a similar way regardless of sexuality or gender self-identification alignment.

Although this is just a theory; I base this theory on my observations on sexuality, gender roles, and interpersonal communication types.

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By: Nick http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-10477 Tue, 27 Apr 2010 10:15:23 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-10477 This is nice and all, however, I’m sending long ass messages as a guy, and receiving short little nothings from girls. Frustrating. God!

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By: Just saying http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-10141 Tue, 20 Apr 2010 05:57:14 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-10141 I won’t quote studies because I don’t have them at my finger tips. However, women in our society are rewarded and encouraged to be communicators from a very early age. Men are encouraged to be doers and hands-on.

Likewise, since adults support these behaviors in children (on the same lines as pink and blue), the converse is also true.

I’m not saying there is any physiological basis for this (I’m not saying there’s not either), what I’m saying is that socialization plays a large role in this whole process.

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By: this gay guy http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-8020 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 09:36:19 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-8020 Men and women are wired differently. We just are. Not dramatically differently, mind you, but there are distinct differences, particularly when it comes to sex and courting. To be general, women like to talk with more content than men. Male communication tends to have fewer words and to be more direct. Both styles of communication have their advantages.

Of course women are more likely to respond to a message that contains more words, within reason. And I think it’s accurate to say that men get put off by someone showing too much interest, as in the case of very long contact emails. I certainly do.

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By: SFGirl http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-4125 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:10:56 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-4125 Thank you for your words, morganari. Very well put!! You are a sociologist aren’t you? If not tecnically, you can go ahead and call yourself one. I majored in sociology, and find all of this amazingly fascinating.

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By: E http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-1905 Sat, 03 Oct 2009 05:43:16 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-1905 You guys are cool and so are all that use gnuplot 😉

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By: PoorYorick4u http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-1488 Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:04:16 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-1488 Fascinating blog entry. Thanks for posting this, OkC. I loves me some stats!

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By: flowchart to my heart (and other parts): OKCupid’s trend blog | Eros Daily Musings and Digressions http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-1366 Sat, 19 Sep 2009 01:00:18 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-1366 […] include Online Dating Advice: Same-Sex Messaging (what words do and don’t work in messages to women and men), Online Dating Advice Part 1 (very […]

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By: hn http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-messaging-advice-same-sex-charts/comment-page-1/#comment-1331 Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:09:02 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=409#comment-1331 Yes, that’s kinda missing in the article: are these numbers for *all* users, i.e. including straight people messaging same-sex, or are these just messages sent by “the gays”? (Also, it would be interesting to analyze just the cross-over: what do straight people talk about among themselves? And how great is the lesbian-straight girl hookup success rate?)

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