Comments on: Online Dating Advice: Optimum Message Length http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/ The Official Blog of OkCupid.com Wed, 24 Sep 2014 13:49:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.6 By: cybrgrl http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-30512 Tue, 15 Mar 2011 21:41:50 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-30512 I usually really like OKTrends, but this one is weak – perhaps you were still getting your legs under you when you wrote it back in 2009, Chris.

You neglected many relevant datum:
How does match percentage affect the response rate?. My personal experience is that messages from high matches are usually more interesting to me, irrespective of length.
How does using words that match words in the message recipient’s profile affect response rates? I am much more likely to respond to people who talk about things that interest me, again, irrespective of message length.

Guys- I don’t want a ton of short messages. I would rather see a well thought out message that starts a conversation.

cybrgrl (2 cents poorer)

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By: Blackjack http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-27815 Thu, 10 Feb 2011 23:31:12 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-27815 I’m impressed, I need to say. Really hardly ever do I encounter a weblog that’s each educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you will have hit the nail on the head. Your idea is excellent; the problem is something that not sufficient individuals are talking intelligently about. I’m very happy that I stumbled throughout this in my search for one thing referring to this.

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By: Matt http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-24384 Mon, 08 Nov 2010 03:15:02 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-24384 I’m finding it hard to believe that messaging efficiency is even being considered here. Like I’m finding hundreds of interesting-looking girls, and the limiting factor is how many of them I can send messages to per hour or something.

The reality is that I spend 99% of my time on this site sifting through my matches, trying to find someone whose profile looks interesting enough to make me want to message them. The difference between sending a short message and sending one that’s long enough to show that I actually read their profile (and have some interesting questions or conversation-starters) is negligible compared to the overall search time. Clearly the matching system still has plenty of room for improvement…

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By: Amirali http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-24173 Sat, 30 Oct 2010 22:04:44 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-24173 I’m more at the 5-7% response rate, than 32%. Since I don’t believe in huge statistical coincidences or conspiracy theories, it looks like I have to work on my messaging formula. I usually follow a simple template – read a profile with at least a 75% match, find a common/shared interest (usually a specific book, or maths). A paragraph discussion, what I found interesting in the profile a tasteful compliment (not on looks, and not overblown) and a “it would be nice to hear from you”.

I’m thinking I need to shake it up – probably I’m too verbose. Or perhaps just a Quasimodo :P. That said, it’s fun trying to repackage and plot different strategies. Yes, I know I’m overthinking this….

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By: StarrDizzle http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-22603 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 01:00:18 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-22603 I used to put a code word into my profile to see if people actually read it, I had only four people actually use the word in response. Saying anything that shows they read any of it is a bonus imo, I understand skimming and not reading it all, I know it’s a numbers game too, so for efficiency’s sake I get why people might not read the whole thing, I know I don’t always. Something short, expressing something of content sharing why they messaged and respect. I say on my profile I’m just looking for women and the guys that message have been nice and acknowledge that I’ve said that (in the first line of my profile, and 4 other times) but have had a few douches too. Women’s messages are short and sweet and often quote something I’ve said, I think they have the right idea :)

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By: Baddoggie http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-22190 Mon, 04 Oct 2010 03:01:58 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-22190 According to OKC’s tech analysts, the optimal keywords (awesome, sorry, haha, pretty, band, zombie, tattoo, awkward, literature and piercings) so I thought I might try my hand at working those into a paragraph to optimize my results.

Very sorry to interrupt you but I noticed how pretty you are and I might add pretty awesome…haha. Although you didn’t mention it in your profile, I imagine you playing lead guitar in a zombie band…well that certainly came out in an awkward way. Sorry, maybe I just said that as I have been browsing the literature about zombies, tattoos and piercings. Do you know that they all originated in Transylvania with Vlad III the Impaler? You no doubt know of the tortures he inflicted. If his victims survived they were turned into well pierced zombies. Tattoos were a means of marking his subjects as punishments, marks of rank, and as a means of sending orders to his cohorts. Isn’t that awesome…haha?

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By: jsa http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-20166 Thu, 16 Sep 2010 06:55:34 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-20166 In response to the conclusions of this blog post… how ’bout adding a character counter to the messaging interface? Turn the characters of the counter green as you get close to 200 characters, and red as you get farther away.

Maybe the “staff robot” pops up and says “Dude… you’re gonna fuck this up if you keep typing.”

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By: toberichus http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-19506 Sun, 12 Sep 2010 01:43:40 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-19506 Reading through these responses, it seems like everyone is blaming the men for their failure to get responses through this website. Guys – there is clearly something wrong with the website itself!If you transport your intro and photos over to Match.com, you will be overwhelmed by the number of female responses! I was over there and got 5, 10 responses of some sort each day. Here I get nothing. The $40/month is actually FOR something!

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By: Shawn http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-18254 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 17:44:26 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-18254 Yeah but at what point does the short message data end up representing simply a brute force reply strategy? The more people you write to in the shortest amount of time yields more replies. Or are you encouraging people to just message more?

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By: Alex http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/how-to-get-people-to-reply-to-your-messages-in-online-dating-part-i/comment-page-5/#comment-17464 Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:23:16 +0000 http://blog.okcupid.com/?p=237#comment-17464 This logic only makes sense if people are constantly writing messages. Personally I at most send a couple messages a day. The longest message length still allows for 4 messages AN HOUR. Do people actually write that many messages? So either people write a lot more than I do or this analysis makes no sense and you should write longer messages.

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