Welcome back, dorks. We’ve processed the messaging habits of over a million people and are about to basically prove that, despite what you might’ve heard from the Obama campaign and organic cereal commercials, racism is alive and well. It would be awesome if other big websites would go out on a limb and release their own race data, too. I can’t imagine they will: multi-million dollar enterprises rarely like to admit that the people generating those millions act like turds. But being poor gives us a certain freedom. To alienate all our users. So there.
When I first started looking at first-contact attempts and who was writing who back, it was immediately obvious that the sender’s race was a huge factor. Here are just a handful of the numbers that illustrate that:
The takeaway here is that although race shouldn’t matter in messaging, it does. A lot.
First of all, how do we know that race shouldn’t matter? Are we just making some after-school-special assumption that “true love is colorblind?” more compatibility usually
means more repliesNo, we’re not: we know race shouldn’t matter to replies because the races all match each other more or less evenly, and reply rate correlates to matching. That is, more compatibility generally means more replies.
On OkCupid you create your own unique matching system, and that means your better matches are people you actually want talk to. Below is a graph showing match percentages vs. reply rates for a random sample of 500,000 people.As you can see, in general, the better you match someone, the more likely you are to reply to a first message from them.
We can see this principle in action when we look at our trusty control, the Zodiac. Here are the match and reply rates side-by-side, with similar rates colored yellow. There’s no real need to inspect the numbers; just observe the similar colors.
- Throughout this post, yellowish colors are short-hand for “neutral” and red and green indicate “strong preference.”
People of the various Zodiac signs match each other all at roughly the average rate, and, as we would expect, they reply to messages similarly. In general, the correlation between match percentage and reply rate means that whenever we compare the match/reply charts for a given breakdown of the population, they should look about the same. However, this, like so many other fine assumptions, totally breaks down when race gets involved:
Again, don’t bother squinting, just check out the colors. We’ll soon look very closely at these tables.
So here’s last week’s compatibility by race table (I explained how we can confidently measure “compatibility” in that post). This is a blow-up of the leftmost table above:
As you can see, the races all match each other roughly evenly: good news. It means all other things being equal, two people, of whatever race, should have the same chance to have a successful relationshp. But now let’s look at the table of how individuals actually reply to each other’s messages. First we’ll examine messages sent by men to women (I know our gay readers are interested in same-sex versions of these tables, there’s a link to them here and at the end of this post):
The numbers on the perimeter of the table are the weighted average rates for each column/row. Here’s what we can know:
- Black women write back the most. Whether it’s due to talkativeness, loneliness, or a sense of plain decency, black women are by far the most likely to respond to a first contact attempt. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and, overall, black women reply about a quarter more often that other women.
- White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.
- White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.
Let’s see what happens when it’s the women writing the messages to men.
- Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.
- White guys respond less overall. The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often. It’s ironic that white guys are worst responders, because as we saw above they in turn get the most replies. That has apparently made them very self-absorbed.
Finally, here are a couple tables that shed further light on our discussion. These are site-wide answers to a couple user-written match questions. They barely need any explanation: one comments on the other, really. Together they shed more light on the theory/practice schizophrenia of people’s racial attitudes.
It’s surely not just OkCupid users that are like this. In fact, it’s any dating site (and indeed any collection of people) would likely exhibit messaging biases similar to what I’ve written up. Any dating site probably
has these biasesAccording to our internal metrics, at least, OkCupid’s users are better-educated, younger, and far more progressive than the norm, so I can imagine that many sites would actually have worse race stats. But like I said at the beginning, we’ll probably never know. See you next week.
(Addendum to original post)
Same-Sex Data for Race vs. Reply Rates
As promised, here are the same-sex versions of last week’s charts and tables. In general, they show that straights and gays share many of the same inclinations, but the prejudices of the latter are perhaps a bit less pronounced. I should say at the top that some of the sample sizes for the various race/gender slices presented here are rather small (for instance, OkCupid doesn’t have many lesbians of Indian descent), and that accounts, I think, for some of the scatter-shot nature of the color tables. Race preferences are not nearly as stark here as they are with the heterosexual data.
See for yourself:
Still, there are a few conclusions we can draw:
- Blacks get fewer responses. We saw this with the straight data, too, and here it’s true of both gay and lesbian senders. Black gay men get over 20% fewer responses than non-blacks, which is about how straight black men fared. Black women, on the other hand, do relatively much better with gays than straights. While they’re still the least replied-to group, the discrepancy is much smaller in the lesbian community.
- Whites respond by far the least to anyone.. Both white lesbians and white gay men write the fewest replies. In fact, across the two charts, whites respond about 15% less often than non-whites, and white gay men show a marked preference for other whites. On the other hand, gay white women don’t have the segregationist tendencies of their straight counterparts; they just dis everyone. Whereas last week we saw that straight white women strongly preferred other whites to the exclusion of other groups, lesbian whites respond to all 9 racial groups roughly evenly, and, in general, the lesbian community seems relatively colorblind. Only Indian lesbians receive a response rate far off the average, and as I said above, the sample size there is limited and the results might be skewed by chance.
- Asian lesbians are in demand, and they’re picky about other races. Gay Asian females are replied to the most, and, among the well-represented groups, they have the most defined racial preferences: they respond very well to other Asians, Whites, Native Americans, and Middle Easterners, but very poorly to the other groups. Latin women also express a clear preference, for Whites and Asians.
- Men prefer Middle Easterners. Gay men and straight men both respond best to Middle Easterners, and the preference is quite dramatic. I’d be interested to hear any theories why this is so.
As we did last week, we can see that all groups think, theoretically, that interracial relationships are acceptable, yet again whites are the least willing to have such a relationship themselves. This time it’s the men, not the women, who prefer most to keep to their own: it’s interesting that both in reply patterns and in their answers to these two match questions, the behavior of white straight women and white gay men are so closely parallel.
To our friends in the gay and lesbian communities: thanks for being patient and waiting for this data. We will do gay-centric articles in the future, I promise. Lately, since we’ve been dealing with complex and data-intensive subjects like race and reply rates, we’ve had to restrict ourselves to straight data in the primary post. We felt that adding a discussion of gay and lesbian trends alongside straight ones would triple the length of an already long and dense post and surely more than triple reader confusion. We will keep looking for ways to present the information you rightly expect; for now, it will be in addenda such as this one.
Well, this is a little painful to look at, but I could tell you first hand that it makes a lot of sense, it may not be fair to call it raceism, but it’s something. I recently got a reply from someone who thought I was fantastic, but “Looks for skinny little white girls” Kinda fucked my day up.
A friend sent this article to me and I am a black woman. Here is my response to her and everyone else:
I looked at it. All I can say is that yes, behind hidden walls, people’s true identities usually come out. We see a pretty high percentage of white women with all kinds of men, especially black men in real life (at least that’s how it seems walking down the street compared to everyone else). So while that data says that 45% of white women prefer their own men, I guess we must be seeing the 55% that are willing to date others in real life.
There is one thing you have to remember in particular. I learned it a long time ago in a communications class but I can’t remember the name for the phenomenon… Most people who respond to things like surveys online and in real life or anything that they have to give their opinion to are the people with the strongest opinions on both the positive side and negative side. Not the people who said, “you know what, I had a pretty good time, this event, this thing that happened in my life was decent.”
The people responding and initiating action at least 65% of the time and I wanna say closer to 95% of the time (but I can’t remember the actual statistics) are people who feel the need to either say “I had a GREAT time! This was one of the best experiences of my life” or the people who feel the need to say “WTF, this is the worse experience of my life!”
Online dating sites give you ambiguity and hopes and dreams for finding your perfect match and while everyone wants to pretend like it isn’t true. The fact of the matter is that when most of us draw our ideal pictures and perceptions of life, the people holding our hands in the picture look just like us. We usually only use one or two or three crayons. 1. Our favorite color, 2. Our second favorite, and 3. The third color that helps us subconsciously feel like we are not biased.
So I am not surprised, the eHarmony commercials on tv reflect this articles findings perfectly. Next time you see an eHarmony commerical, sit up and pay close attention to what you see, who is holding hands and smiling in the commercial, then break that down to a ratio of race versus race matches and it will probably reflect what this article said. So what’s the sum-all conclusion for me?
People who come online looking for dating usually have a stronger/clearer opinion of what they hope and wish to find in their dream date/dream husband or wife… that perfect significant other that they wish to meet and fall in love with. But the catch all is that just like in real life, finding love is like flipping a coin so while you may only get a 14% to 22% response rate, it only takes one “right” flip to find a successful match.
Is it fair that maybe some of us have to flip more then others? No. Are the percentages of people willing to go outside of their race higher today then they were 60 years ago? I’d be willing to bet you a silver dollar they are. Will the percentages continue to increase in the future. God knows I pray so.
So if someone doesn’t decide to flip a coin in my direction or your direction, should we really care if it pings more some where else? I don’t think so because who is to say that it won’t wobble for a moment then roll into a gutter.
Anyone selectively cutting you out of their lives for no good, rational reason is not even worth the time of you thinking about or researching them.
We can’t change the world, you can only hope to bump into decent people.
But still it was an interesting and enjoyable read.
Thank you. Smiles
Any other white guys here didn’t even realize this was an issue? I’ve never dated any non-white girls and no one non-white has ever shown any interest in me. I’ve always just assumed other races were the same in only desiring those who look like them.
Also all this talk about white privilage etc etc is such a load. In America maybe white guys are seen as the norm or ideal, but that is because its a white country. In China, Japan, India or Botswana would I have an easy time getting a date? not likely. Would I complain that the girls in that country were racist or full of themselves for not giving me a chance? not likely.
Is it MY problem that black men like white girls sometimes? or that asian girls go for white guys sometimes? not likely.
2010 folks, white guilt is over.
A Black Girl,
This time you were not his type. The next time it might be you responding to someone who is not your type. Rejection can be a very hard pill to swallow regardless of the reason for the rejection, and sometimes we fall on the receiving end, other times on the giving end. Don’t let it ruin your day.
Geez, so many people racist against blacks as evidenced in some of the comments above.
I’d hate to be a black person in America. What a hard row to hoe.
They can make an occasional exception, such as Obama or maybe Halle Berry, but are racist against black people as a whole.
And racism is the EXACT word to describe them even though they don’t want to see themselves that way.
It is extremely interesting for me to read that article. Thanks for it. I like such themes and everything that is connected to them. BTW, why don’t you change design :).
When I first glanced at the title of this post, I thought it read, “Your Race Affects Whether You’re White or Black.”
The thickness of race in America is amazing. I feel for black women and asian men the most when it comes to interracial mating (again, have to always say it, especially as a white guy: not all INDIVIDUALS will feel this, but i think the numbers and eye test confirm these two groups getting the rawer deals.)
To “A Black Girl” and “blk girl”:
I can’t help notice both of you follow a pattern in your posts. (and i am right now making sure i don’t assume this about other black women.)
Both of you gain my empathy (not that you want or need it of course) for how you started your posts.
But then Blk girl goes and gets completely racist and hypocritical to “An Asian,” and A Black Girl goes and, unless i’m misreading the post, exposes her disdain for white woman with the “looks for skinny little white girls” line, which i’ve heard from countless black woman in clubs and on the street, mocking white girls’ skinniness compared to the average black woman.
I’m going to throw something out here now that is even more un-PC.
I realize beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I realize we’re americans bombarded with images of “white is right” when it comes to beauty. And there will always be individual preferences.
But when you add up the individuals you get trends, which is what we’re talking about here, as ugly and sensitive as this conversation gets.
HERE GOES:
Could it be possible that there are simply more rare physical characteristics among white woman, compared to all other women, that indeed, if you hooked up a “truth-o-meter” to the groins of ALL THE MEN of the world, would show that white woman are preferred by more men of all races?
Look at it this way (and i know few women will be able to stomach my hypothesis, but try:) every single race of woman on this planet other than white woman have either black or dark brown hair (with a tint of orange in some cases) and fewer colors for eyes. White woman have hair that is black, brown, red, blond, straight, curly, and every color and texture in between, eyes of blue, green, brown.
Men like variety, softness in women and soft hair is nice in bed. Black women’s hair isn’t as sensual to the touch for many men and black women can’t blame men for feeling that. White women go from very white to olive skin to tan, with all the different kinds of hair and eyes. White woman and some latinas are the only women with really red nipples, which i’ve heard many non white men say they REALLY like.
Again, of course there are individual preferences and billions of people to make up all those individual preferences. But could it be this un-PC observation is the ugly truth beneath it all? White woman ARE very different than ALL other woman in the looks department and men ARE into looks.
Blacks are rightly wary, subconsciously, of whites, from the history of racism that still exists in this country. That will paint black woman’s openness to white guys but why would the past (done by white MEN) stop black guys from liking white women?
And to Urbane Explorer:
I’m not sure how bad i feel for you when it comes to dating. At least i don’t feel sorry for your “profile.” (again, individuals differ within a group that shows tendencies.)
Here’s what i mean.
I know racism exists and you feel it in ways i cannot imagine. But when it comes to dating, i simply do not feel sorry for educated, good looking black men. The dating, sexual world is your oyster (if it’s not feeling that way to you personally, i don’t direct this to you, but still put forth this idea as it applies to many smart, goodlooking black guys.)
In America, for whatever reasons, when it comes to pure sexiness, black men and white women are at the top of the mountain (again if YOU don’t feel that way, try to see this from a numbers perspective, averages.) This is not as true in mid-america, but that’s not where we all mix anyway.
All of our history feeds the electricity of the black man white woman relationship, including the race based obstacles that are there. And most modern white woman from urban settings carry around a subconscious, politically based empathy for black men (as do white men,) which moreso than men, is connected to physical attraction since he’s attractive for what he has to deal with, or she perceives he has to deal with.
Of course rural or suburban folks will have a different take than me, coming from the Bay Area CA. But i think in most urban areas where modern, more liberal whites live around and work with people of other races, this black man white woman hierarchy exists. I would even put the numbers higher for ratio of black men with white women to the other way around when you’re talking about younger people. Black woman and white men open up to each other more as folks learn each other, work around each other and have lived more. More of a trust needs to happen for black woman with white men. Black men with white women works young, old anytime.
Funny how so much of this doesn’t feel true to us. But again, it’s not for any of us to take personally. We are all still able to be individuals and all it takes is ONE PERSON TO LOVE.
This isn’t racism. Do you want to force people to like something that they don’t like? Acting like turds? What the hell are you smoking? Jesus, I’m white, and for us the Great Wall of China is legendarily difficult to crack, but I don’t feel “entitled” to an Asian girlfriend.
Honestly, this multi-ethnic desegregation thing isn’t working out, let’s just admit that. I deserve to live in a society where I and my people aren’t constantly accused of racism.
White women who marry black men are nine times more likely to be beaten by their spouses than the average, and the black man’s propensity for abandoning their children, as 70% of them do, is well known. Can you blame a woman for wanting to avoid being beaten and having the father of their children abandon them?
“Your Race Affects Whether People Write You Back.”
You don’t say.
OKCupid, you’ve presented the data, which I think everybody knew about already. Now what are you going to do about it? Why not implement a very simple “ethnicity preference” section, just like match.com does? This is a very simple feature to implement, and it would spare your members a lot of time, effort, and disappointments. It could actually be better than match.com if you let us search on it, since on match you actually have to view the profile to see their preferences. Still, they help their members save time by not emailing a bunch of people who disqualify them off the bat.
And while you’re at it, why the hell can’t I search for any relationship status except for single and “any status”??? Like many people, I have no interest in poly amorous relationships, yet every time i search for single women I end up having to hide a bunch of “available” profiles. Again, this would be an extremely simple change.
Looking at all of these comments… I see bitterness in some. Personally I have dated out of my race, but I prefer my own (white). Honestly anyone who decides that they prefer male/female of another race than their own is really putting their own race down. It stems from insecurity. You gotta love yourself. ALL of our races have our plus’ and minuses in looks and cultures. Dont insult yourself by saying another race is better.
I agree with many before that I am pleased that a mentally challenged, or what we call “Mentally Capable”, has done such a survey. It pleases me that I shall one day meet him on the ShortBus that I took to the library.
I, too, am handicapped like the writer of this survey in that I cannot express numbers in a correct manner. I like 1. 2, is a quandry and anything beyond. It’s hard.
The author of this treatise is like that. Can’t number, can’t spell, and can’t do a damn thing about it.
I be 49 years old and don’t love any women except my little Ho Virginia, who spins in her little wheel every minute of the day. Spins, and spins, and spins and spins. Then spins, and spins, and spins. And then spins some more.
Make me happy someone less smart is posting on this Net thing.
Spin, spin, spin and spin again! Just lay off the net’s thing. You are dumb.
Algonquin, nee’ Algernon. Love the flowers!
Well you all must understand that the european look bacially runs the world. When people watch tv the race you see the most are whites. Because you see this on tv and everywhere in the media of course everyone is going to want to obtain this look. Emagion if a diffrent race’s look ran the world how diffrent society would be. If for instance the african american physical apparence was all over the media and seen to be the most beautiful. People of other races would be trying to obtain an afro, get darker toned skin, sugerys to change their facial features and much more. So this whole thing with wnite people being praised and all comes from a long time ago in history. I would write about it but I don’t wanna type an essay lol
@Brian right on. Racism is the wrong term here. It is more of personal taste.
In my course of life I have been hit on by many black women. Many smart, and pretty. I was just not interested, I just didn’t find then attracting me. At abuot 30 I had a 21 black girl hitting on me. She wanted to come to my house and “work out”(I did tell her I had a weight set) Any She had an awesome figure, smart, and three guys had asked for her number in the course of talking to her.(we were working together, over the course of a couple weeks) I so wish I was attracted, but I can’t tell you why, but I wasn’t, and it was the black skin turned me off. There are a lot of sweethearts from the past I wish I was attracted to.
Now I reply to anyone who messages me out of respect. but I can’t make myself like something that I don’t
To “Noteven:”
There is no doubt that european ancestry faces dominate mass media, and “white, western” culture controls a lot of how we all see things. I think I attend to this point, in short, in my post a few before this, above. (Please read it.)
But then why is it black guys are so desired, but not black women? (again people, averages, don’t shoot the messenger.)
Not only are black men considered, on average, to be the most physically attractive men, black men are seen with FAR more general empathy by the average non racist non black person (on average, black men are more muscular, have dark and handsome features (while light is considered feminine,) larger penis’s, and hair for a man is different, which makes the hair thing negatively effect black women but not black men.)
In Africa, it is light skinned African women that are seen as a status thing. Same thing in India. (Again, ALL of this isn’t EVERYBODY’s tastes, alright? I’m talking averages.) This, from what i’ve read, was going on in India way before the white influence.
Can you blame all of those continents tastes on the “white media” thing? Could it be that dark is masculine and light is feminine?
Is me, a white guy, observing that blackness gives black men an advantage racist? Or does it only become racist when I point out black women don’t benefit like black men do (and i acknowledge i’m focusing on the black/white thing while there are more players in all this.)
Black, Latina, and Asian women and men ALL have black or dark brown hair (other than a few orange tints in the south pacific Trobrian islanders hair and aborigines.) White women and white women only have black, dark brown, light brown, blond, red and all the different tints in between. Black, Latina and Asian women have brown, hazel, and rarely green eyes, different shades of all those. White women have those colors too, but also have more cases of green and the only women with blue.
You can say it’s all media and personal tastes all you want but these physical traits white women have are simply unique on this planet. Men are more into looks than women and white women didn’t colonize Africa or “rule the world,” white MEN did.
Which leads to how white men are not seen as attractive to other women as white women are to other men. This is both due to what attracts men and women (men more into looks, shallow, women more about integrity, hard worker etc.) and how white people are perceived. White men are always seen with a grain of salt (at least subconsciously) since whiteness itself is distrusted due to history. White women don’t suffer from this much since it was white MEN who “ruined the world,” not white women. (not to mention some, not all but some, men of color get off “getting a white woman” due to history.)
In other words, cultural factors, i.e. the UGLY history of this country around race (not just racism to blacks, racism to everyone not white) HELP black men way more than black women, when it comes to interracial dating. Since to black people, white men often represent all of the ugly history, there’s all that to get past trustwise for a black woman to go for a white guy. But since white women don’t represent that and, like most cool white men, feel empathy for black people…and white women have this amazingly different and attractive “look,” the factors for the black man white woman relationship is simply FAR more ripe than the other way around.
So, in essence, a short reading of this could translate what i’m saying (in a oversimplified way) as black men are SUPERIOR to white men in what makes humans seen as sexy and white women are at the top for women. Again, this won’t be for everyone, but ALL data and eye tests in urban settings show this too, on average.
3/4 of black white marriages are black man/white woman. The numbers are higher for just dating or living together. So, what’s going on? Why are black women upset (rightfully so) about all this but not black men? Maybe black men are somewhat in the catbird seat here. But since we all know (and it’s true) that in everything else surrounding race black men get the rawer deal. In sex and dating, black men have all the advantages. White women too.
YOU may not feel that way, but again, subjectivity aside, we’re talking what all the data shows and what we all see.
You cannot simply blame it all on white media. If that were the case black men would be seen as the least attractive, but they’re not, at all.
I know how UGLY this all sounds to most, likely. We’re so wrapped up in PC thought these days that there’s no way to be objective without hurting feelings and riling people into anger.
But why? We find all kinds of physical things to have different levels of attractiveness. We know men and women think differently, are sexual differently, are into different things with men being more looks oriented. We know this stuff.
If I as a white guy growing up in an urban area with all kinds of people, can OBSERVE that black men have more of the traits women like than white men, why can’t others make the observation that maybe, just maybe, white women simply are unique in the looks department, and men like unique looks?
Just sayin
You said:
“Could it be possible that there are simply more rare physical characteristics among white woman, compared to all other women, that indeed, if you hooked up a “truth-o-meter” to the groins of ALL THE MEN of the world, would show that white woman are preferred by more men of all races?”
WTF? Just when I thought White people couldn’t get any more clueless. So then explain to me – if white women were the most naturally desired women on earth, who do we have to have “White beauty” shoved down our throats through media and such? I mean shouldn’t all that natural “white beauty” speak for itself with out the intense brainwashing and overly marketed beauty ideals that always fall under the White standard???? Why don’t we see an even amount of representation beauty wise for women of all races even the ones who don’t fit into the white beauty ideal??? Yeah I won’t hold my breath on an explanation on that one. LOL.
Its common knowledge that people are MORE attracted to what is familiar. Yes, there are exceptions. You are making these crazy long posts about nothing. You are a typical clueless white person stuck on believing your own hype. If any person with a brain cannot look at the obvious societal standards that have been in place for decades, those who are in power, those who control the media and physical “ideals” socially and not think this doesn’t play a role in how people respond then they are just plain STUPID.
There will always be a few insecure people of another race, chasing pipe dreams towards those who are in power. At the end of the day THE MAJORITY OF MALES OF ANY RACE PREFER AND MARRY AND MATE WITH THE WOMEN OF THIER OWN RACE. PERIOD. The same goes for women. People hooking up and screwing doesn’t mean crap at the end of the day. So what Black men and White women are more likely to screw and hook up and date? Ok big deal. Any man of any race would have sex with a bunch of women of other races if they could. But most men simply can’t –except Black men. Women chose who they want to have sexual and casual relations with. Men are typically not that picky except when it comes to settling down and marriage.
How many Black women are open to casually sleeping around and hooking up with White men or men of any other race outside of Black? NOT MANY. That is, unless they are crackheads or prostitutes. YET, White women are simply more open to having sexual casual relationships with men of other races. And White women benefit b/c they are likely to be more open to date outside their race. So men of other races feel comfortable in approaching them. Men go after women they feel they have a higher chance of obtaining. Black women are very well known for preferring and being open to only Black men and the occasional Latino or other men of color. A lot of Black men I know said they dated and screwed many White girls while in high school and college b/c they simply could. When it comes to marriage however, Black men like all other men prefer to marry within their own race.
Go read the census stats. If you can find numbers that REFUTE that majority of males of any race do not prefer their own race of women, then I would loooove to see what study this was.. Until then go back to the cave with that nonsense you just wrote. LOL.
Frankly,
I believe this whole “attraction” to White women is more unnatural. Because White women or White female “beauty” is marketed, advertised and promoted like crazy. If White women were truly the “queens of beauty” that all men of the world simply could not resist (as you suggest) then White women would not need heavy marketing and promotion in terms of beauty and femininity now would they? The fact they do, says something else. ALSO the fact that beauty spotlight in society is RARELY shared with any women who fall far from the standard of White beauty ideals is yet another clue as to the THREAT that other forms of racial beauty possess to whites.
I’m not saying I don’t think White women are attractive. I believe all races of women have unique beauty that is admirable. HOWEVER, I am more inclined to take with a grain of salt when someone suggests some White girl is “pretty or beautiful”. Because IMO even the most under average White woman is OVERRATED. Almost to the point when I actually do see an attractive White girl I am surprised because most of the time people will say ANYTHING that is White and a woman is attractive. LOL. How many times has some white woman with blonde hair been called a “blonde beauty” and she looks like shyt on a stick? YET blonde hair “supposedly “ makes her beautiful? Come on. That is not fair to the white women with blonde hair who ACTUALLY ARE BEAUTIFUL.
To be quite frank. If you want to make an assumption that men are dying to get with one particular race of woman (in your case you believe every man on planet earth is dying for a White woman lol) I would disagree and say ASIAN women are the ones who are more desirable. And they don’t even need an INCH of the huge marketing campaigns on their beauty that White women do. Its quite obvious that Asian women are seen as very desirable to many men of many races. IOW’s people don’t need to be BRAINWASHED into finding Asian women desirable. We RARELY if ever see Asian beauty being promoted in the media. WHY?
The fact is, if White women were truly the most NATURALLY DESIRED women on earth, then why do we need to see so much beauty campaigns on them. Shouldn’t that be natural? We should never have to see a White women in the media promoting beauty ideals if they are just “naturally more desirable” LMAO. OR we’d see an EQUAL amount of representation beauty and femininity wise of women of all races who did not fit White ideals of beauty. Asian women don’t need it, yet they do quite well with men of all races – better than White women. So explain that please.
Black women should be grateful that our beauty doesn’t need to be overly marketed and promoted to be seen as desirable. At least when a man is attracted to us, its natural and not derived from an overabundance of brainwashing into believing it.
That is all.
Personally as a white bisexual male I have no problem with dating women of most ethnicities, although I will admit my preferences for men are somewhat more restricted.
There are a few specific ethnicities I’m generally not too keen on, but I believe that’s more to do with certain common aspects of appearance than anything else – I’m not over fond of white western European races featuring women that are tall and very slim, either (I prefer my women more curvy). For the same reason I find many oriental women quite cute, but their general size and lack of curves usually hits the button in my brain that says ‘child! ew!’. For more curvy oriental women and certain specific people it’s not a problem.
Having said all that, there are two reasons I’m wary of black women in particular :
1) They’re a bit more religious and conventional than most. Now, this may be because in general there are less black women in dating sites full stop, and thus the alternative black women (which do exist, I know a number) are a very small proportion. I don’t get on well with religion, and religious types don’t tend to like bisexual child free men. If I get that vibe, I’m not even going to contact someone.
2) 419 scammers. It’s horrible that genuine women might be tarred with the same brush, but if the profile has a whiff of scam I’m not going anywhere near it.
On the other hand, I say hooray for the white men that have a preference for white women if it means more women of different races for me! I’ve dated/snogged right across various races (except oriental races) and would happily do so again. Now, if only they would contact me..
Have any of you guys taken into consideration that these results are due to the fact that there are significantly more white people on this site and not that white people are found to be the most attractive race? I simply did a search through my matches and found that for black matches I only had 16 pages of results but for white matches I had over a 100 pages. So for every 1 black dude there are 6-7 white dudes meaning the odds are inherently in their favor.
I took a look at the “would you prefer to date someone of your own ethnicity”, and looked at white guys, and was just gobsmacked. Fuck you guys! As a white male, it offends and shames me that this sentiment is so prevalent. I also have no idea why white females are even worse on this issue; aren’t females usually more open-minded?
“In China, Japan, India or Botswana would I have an easy time getting a date? not likely. Would I complain that the girls in that country were racist or full of themselves for not giving me a chance? not likely.”
I’ve actually heard that Japanese go crazy over white men.
DOZ SAID:
“Have any of you guys taken into consideration that these results are due to the fact that there are significantly more white people on this site and not that white people are found to be the most attractive race?”
LOL Doz that might crack thier egos a bit. That is why they refuse to look at the LOGIC of this study. You are in fact right. The MAJORITY on this site are WHITE, therefore the numbers are skewed from the start. White people have this intense need to always turn things around to make themselves feel and look better.
Anyone with a brain can look deeper into this study and see what the reality is.
Well this white male prefers black women over all other types. Sorry but dark hair (especially afros or locks), dark eyes and dark skin are stunningly beautiful in my book. Black women have the curves and lips that other races pay money to have. Black women age exceptionally well too. Out of all the women in the world, my least attractive are the pale nordic types.
Ok well here goes:
People, people, people…calm down LOL
I am black and am pretty much open to all races offline or online. I have observed that black women open to dating online might tend to be more open to dating other races but offline…barely any are. Trust me they only want to date black men. So, don’t get too riled up about that either way.
I believe the poster that said that black women also tend to be more religious might be onto something as well. It seems a LOT of people tend to think that the online community is only for the non-believers.
Anyhoo…whatever…love who you love and date who you want to. Do you because I’m going to be myself regardless.
Toodles…
I totally agree with Durham Bull…. and considering the statistics… we have it made. Since we are white and prefer black women, we will get a very high response rate. Actually… I already have :DD
I would only date white women (or perhaps asian/middle eastern), but again its personal preference and people should be allowed to display personal preference without being branded racist at every possible opportunity.
White women do have alot of traits that other races don’t and I’ve noticed alot more interracial black male / white female couples in the past decade. Perhaps it is true about blacks being more inclined to domestic abuse and divorce but, to each and their own.
Just Saying- I hear your theory a lot, but the stats here and in marriage don’t back up your statements about the popularity of black men. Black men are being slaughtered in these numbers full stop, and while most black/white marriages follow the BM/WF pattern, rates of interracial marriage between blacks and whites are lower than almost any other racial group in combination with whites. So, if black men are so popular, why are white women less likely to marry them than any other minority? I think if anything, the disparity between black men and black women’s rates of success at interracial dating has to do with the fact that women place a lower priority on physical appearance than men and men are allowed to be as ardent as they want in their pursuit of women they find desirable, even working “twice as hard” if the women happen to be of a different race to compensate for a higher rate of rejection, while women generally don’t pursue, especially outside of their group, so the ones that are considered less attractive for whatever reason, valid or no, end up getting passed over without event.
I’m a 23 year-old black male and too bad I’m gay because I’m constatnly getting hit on by very attractive white women. Although I find it’s mostly white guys who hit on me when I’m at bars and at social parties, the gay community as a whole is incredibly racist and places black gay men at the bottom of the sexual desireability hierarchy.
Also, ditto the sentiments about Japanese and other Asian women going crazy over white men. Many Asian women will take an ugly white guy over an attractive guy of theri own race.
Lastly, whoever suggesting that black men are seen as more sexually desirable among straights is seriously deluded. While black men may have sex appeal, most women are simply unwilling to date them because of the stigma of racism, the inherent, instituionalized notion of black inferiority, and a sense of “danger”.
White men, on the other hand, are generally seen as safe and stable, and it doesn’t hurt that the white male ideal is what’s pushed as the most attractive.
I’m not surprised to see this article. I actually found it by searching to see if anyone noticed there is little interest in black women by the online community. I’m a very smart, intelligent, educated, professional woman and have not dated seriously in a long while….and I yes I’m very attractive. I work primarily around white men and rarely come in contact with black men- either way no one is interested. I attempted online dating over a dozen times, met a few people – they were all white and no one was really interested. I think they were just curious…and when they realized I wasn’t the general stereotype or they just realized I wasn’t a good match for them – they walked….some actually hurt my feelings as I was interested in them. I do recognize the advantages that white women or even latino, asian or mixed race women have…and I wish them lots of success in finding love. I have close (white) friends
that don’t seem to understand why I’m single and it is very hard to explain to them.
I don’t want to sound like the victim but this is a major trend. White men are not interested in black women. ..even us single successful ones with lots to offer.
Nonetheless we are all of the human race. For me I just plan on living my life with the assumption that when the time is right for me to meet someone it will happen. I just hope it happens before I turn 100!
But I don’t understand the complete rejection…it is so unfair.
I have to say to all of this chaos,
I think it is a matter of perspective and perception
I normally try not to discuss my race because to me it is the quality of human that matters to me, not qualify of skin color, hair, clothes, quality of race. We are individuals and humans
SO!
I am a mix heritage African American female my skin color is brown my eyes are brown and my hair is black. When I was young I experienced some prejudice, but had a lot of nationalities for friends but then to maybe it had to do with location (West Coast/NW) not sure it would be interesting to find out.
Now my mother never raised to her children to see skin differences, however what I did learn in time, was the idea of the quality of human differences, meaning Douches/Jerks come in all sizes and colors. I realized this watching people and their interaction.
I have also experienced people who thought they didn’t like brown people and showed that they loved me and I have had people who say that they like brown people and show that the really hated me.
However, when I break it down to the personality of that individual or the communication level there usually is a break down. For example: when someone is not feeling good about themselves and they have a weak personality, they will look for things in others to capitalize on. Some pull race, some pull money and material gains, others pull looks i.e. “____ people they blah blah blah.” or I am wearing Gucci and they are wearing Gap! ha ha ha” here is another” he/she isn’t that attractive, look at this flaw or that flaw etc.”
To me I laugh! They have a character flaw. To judge and look down on someone else for any reason instead of appreciating the difference and that goes for any race, shows a lack of integrity, a lack in character, a lack in self assurance, lack respect for yourself, and lack respect for the human race.
I am not that old but I am not really 18 either so I can say this now, lol. I have always summed it up to one big lack and that is Maturity and Wisdom.
To the Ladies/Gentlemen- If that guy/girl- is not interested in you for whatever reason chalk it up as a growing experience and move on “you are beautiful!!” and don’t let anyone take that away from you. Just make sure that knowledge is in you in the first place, no one can take from you what you firmly in you core believe. Now, if that knowledge is not in you, become hard pressed to change your perspective and you perception of who you are. It is inside of you find it and you will not ever have to worry about what guy/girl talks to you, because once you go beyond that, the question becomes what quality of human is he/she? Is he/she a good man? Does he/she like children? How does he/she treat his family? Is he/she a violent person? Wow! Is that smile coming from his heart?
I realize looks attract, animals use scents and we use our looks, however we have another thing we use called attitude that can draw millions of admires and won’t matter what you look like, (i have seen this). When you see that guy/girl smiling, confident, kind, strong constitution you are drawn to that person, that person who just shines because they appreciate people and life; everyone wants to be their friend it doesn’t matter what nationality you are, they just attract good things in their life, if you see everything wrong trust me everything will really be wrong because you are attracting that in your life.
So, as my friends and I would say YOU do YOU because there is only one YOU.
When was growing around 10 years old I started to figure this out, now I am not saying I Got It! necessarily but the process began and one of the things I notice was a vast amount of people were telling me *how cute I was, or pretty I was, how beautiful I was (I didn’t hear the last one until I was older) lol….it bother me and actually it used to make me irritated ^^ I was never impressed unless it was said by someone who doesn’t give compliments easy…ha-ha! Because everybody thinks all little girls want hear that there are pretty, not quiet the case for me, and it not bad to want it either just don’t rely on it, it is not fool proof.
Don’t get me wrong I have had kids say I was ugly ahaha! ^^ but my first question to myself was, did they mean inside and or outside??
So i would have to question them if it was “oh don’t like your hairstyle” then i was like umm, ok. Thanks! And think to myself well that’s stupid…ha ah ha! I still laugh.
But if it went deeper then I would check myself.
All I wanted to hear was that someone was able to see ME, not what was passing away.
For the man who said yah, she’s attractive or whatever you want to fill in but WOW! She is a really good person and shesss SMART!
Damn! I will marry that guy hands down! lol (that was extra)
So!
As a result, anyone who couldn’t get passed what was on the outside in a decent amount of time was put on the list “oh their associates” until further notice,those who could see past and just didn’t like my personality was put on the list of ” oh well maybe they will come around or maybe they won’t” but those who could appreciate our differences and who I was as a person usually become really good friends, and in the case of the male/female relationships, once we were friends those who knew me and loved me got closer. ^^
Ah well, nothing life is guaranteed but the love of God, for those of you who believe or not believe, that is up to you…^^ I still like you, well most of you anyway it just depends on what kind of human you are…hahaha!
I and grew up for the record until and even now, I have always dated other nationalities and also a few African American men.
Most of the time they approach me unless something really strikes me about them even on OKcupid, I do pretty good but I am particular, I am looking for a special one ^^
You have a great day. Take a deep breath. It’s not that bad…it is a matter of perspective and perception lol once you change that you will not be alone for long ^_^
“Surprises are great but LOVE is the greatest gift” Lea
Shame on OkCupid for loosing sight of the definition of racism. How dare you be so careless with such an important subject.
Racism is about believing that one race is superior to others. If you want to measure that, then your study should be based on a question that reads: “Do you believe your race is superior to others?” and “Do you treat people differently because they are not a member of your race?”
Instead, the data (plural) you present are NOT about racism. They are about dating/mating preferences. They are about an individual human brain’s interpretation of beauty (be it from profile and/or picture), and a measure of a level of comfort versus a level of effort.
I received emails from several asians and I haven’t replied. You know why… THEY WERE IN CHINA!! Too much effort. Not realistic. And you’re going to paint me racist for this?
I received an email from a black woman that was mostly unintelligible. I don’t know what she was talking about. Her picture was very blurry. I didn’t reply. I can hardly begin to defend myself here so better just label me racist.
The reality is that the merging two different cultures, traditions, social mores, religions, sometimes distance, etc… isn’t easy, and relationships are already hard. Include in-laws and/or extended family who may not speak English, and maybe live in another country.
As the situation gets more involved, the level of effort increases. Some people just aren’t cut out for it… and it isn’t about a race being superior. It isn’t about intolerance and discrimination.
Hey all..I think this is a very interesting discussion we have going on in here and I just want to give my 2 cents quickly..
As an African American male I grew up in a suburban high school where there were MANY more white woman than black women. My high school altogether had about 5200 kids, and about 30-40 of us were African American. With that type of ratio, it’s pretty hard to not end up dating outside of your race. Growing up in the school though, I realized one thing I feel about white women. I feel there are a lot of white women who are attractive. I think the ratio of attractive white women I’ve seen may be bigger than any other race, however, whenever I see an attractive woman of another race, usually I think she’s more attractive than the average attractive white woman. For example, in my high school there were only maybe 10-11 African American girls, and there were only about 2 I thought were attractive. Of those 2, one of those girls to me was the most attractive girl in the school. There were plenty of other white girls in the school that I found attractive too, but none more attractive than her.
I think it definitely has to do with general attraction between races. I’ve always heard that Asian girls generally aren’t as attracted to black men as other races, which from what I’ve seen seems true. None of my family or friends who are African American have dated any Asian women. Some of my best friends who are white also say they aren’t as attracted to black girls as white girls..which I’ve always just marked down to personal preference.
I don’t think it’s racism just personal preference.
As an Asian guy, I’ve already accepted the fact that being in America, you will always be an underdog in work and relationships. You will never be treated fairly because of your race. I’ve had online experiences where girls were interested in me until they saw my photo and I wasn’t the race that they wanted. Race means EVERYTHING to the girl. Like the above poster wrote, there are so many Asian girls out there who will choose an ugly white guy to an attractive Asian guy.
The problem with my life is a majority of my friends are white and they don’t understand why it’s hard for a successful attractive Asian man to date in America. It’s because nobody wants you. Hollywood portrays Asian men as either nerdy silly people or kung fu experts. Why do you think Jackie Chan and William Hung are so pushed by Hollywood media.
But I’m happy with being single. Most of my friends are in lousy relationships anyway and I usually get to hear about it haha
As a Black woman I say let people have their preferences. I understand that i will be passed over SIMPLY for being Black. That’s fine, its their loss and saves me and other Black women from having to deal with shallow prejudice males. Black women only need men that can appreciate us as women and not a race. If there are only a select few of men capable of this, then that is all we need.
I know I know. It all looks good on paper when you can pick and choose and be super picky about what “types” of persons you will date. in the end, those relationships falter and there are many people who are serial daters who will never find the one b/c they are shallow and ignorant. I say that to say. i would rather have fewer dates and QUALITY men interested in me as a person and human being (not simply my eye or hair color, or skin color), than simply having lots of dates with fewer quality men whose top proiorities in finding a mate are (hair color, skin color and eye color).
Any male that looks at race first and tosses out all other qualities in a mate is not worthy of ANY quality female IMO. Either way, they experience bad dating karma in the end. So i understand what you say when you see your friends in relationships, yet lousy ones. Very few relationships today have solid foundations. And based on the shallowness and ignorance displayed against certain groups, I can see why.
(To David) China? Blurry pictures? Sample size of 1? Exceptions like these get washed out with a sufficient, random sampling since they’d be equally as likely to happen across the board.
Now, is this blog entry really talking about racism? No, you’re right. This isn’t racism, but it’s definitely racial prejudice — and racial prejudice is f’d up, too. So the blog/data is still relevant. Really, your whole paragraph about merging cultures, traditions, etc. proves the point. If we’re all thinking those thoughts even before saying hello, yikes.. God/Allah/George Carlin help us all.
(To Lea) There’s a really good message in what you wrote.. but most of us will skip it because it’s too freakin’ long. Sorry, I blame MTV.
Minorities who post on sites like this are not necessarily representative of their group. They are a “self-selected” group who PREFER WHITE PARTNERS from the onset.
As it says here:
http://hanopolis.com/?articleNo=9044&story/Racial-preference-statistics-on-OkCupid-dating-site
“Because minorities who are interested in their own ethnic group are unlikely to seek partners in a majority white site. As can be seen from the numbers, the members are overwhelmingly white. As a result, it can only be construed that minorities who come on OkCupid (and similar sites) are very likely seeking white partners from the onset, and secondly, but to a lesser extent, partners not of their own background and not necessarily white.”
“In other words, minorities who post profiles on OkCupid are a self-selected group who seek white partners, broadly speaking.”
These results are NOT surprising at all. It’s hilarious to see how white commentators here try to find excuses for it… And yes, it is RACIST. When you’re ready to date a white janitor instead of a black doctor, it had nothing to do with “culture” (since when are black people monocultural anyway?)
I agree that OKC should add the “racial preference” option for match searches.
About 80 percent of my search results turn out to be white women. It wouldn’t make sense to try to contact them when I already know that an overwhelming majority of them wouldn’t even give me chance solely because I’m black (no matter how fun and successful I am).
If there was a “racial preference” option, at least I would know that the women on my search results are truly open-minded and wouldn’t be a waste of my time.
“As a Black woman I say let people have their preferences. I understand that i will be passed over SIMPLY for being Black. That’s fine, its their loss and saves me and other Black women from having to deal with shallow prejudice males. Black women only need men that can appreciate us as women and not a race. If there are only a select few of men capable of this, then that is all we need.
I know I know. It all looks good on paper when you can pick and choose and be super picky about what “types” of persons you will date. in the end, those relationships falter and there are many people who are serial daters who will never find the one b/c they are shallow and ignorant. I say that to say. i would rather have fewer dates and QUALITY men interested in me as a person and human being (not simply my eye or hair color, or skin color), than simply having lots of dates with fewer quality men whose top proiorities in finding a mate are (hair color, skin color and eye color).
Any male that looks at race first and tosses out all other qualities in a mate is not worthy of ANY quality female IMO. Either way, they experience bad dating karma in the end. So i understand what you say when you see your friends in relationships, yet lousy ones. Very few relationships today have solid foundations. And based on the shallowness and ignorance displayed against certain groups, I can see why.”
This is the most intelligent comment on this page. Please, everyone, just read this and learn to respect yourself.
Well, the evidence is clear in one direction but there is still some facts that no one really cares about. White black, spanish or asian, women rarely reply. The highest categorical responses for males are in the 30th percentile. That’s barely even worth typing more than a sentence. Black women’s response rate is in the 30th percentile as well. So frankly, welcome to our world. one for three is pretty much a good day for any guy.
While most of the responses here are poorly written, and ill-conceived. I have to say that some of them are brilliant. HoneyDewMelange and Lea, to mention them by name.
Honestly, if someone is going to discount you over a weak reason like that (subconscious , though it may be) they did you a favor by staying out of your life. Just make sure you don’t become that person.
Minorities who post on sites like this are not necessarily representative of their group. They are a “self-selected” lot who PREFER WHITE PARTNERS from the onset.
As it says here:
http://hanopolis.com/?articleNo=9044&story/Racial-preference-statistics-on-OkCupid-dating-site
“Because minorities who are interested in their own ethnic group are unlikely to seek partners in a majority white site. As can be seen from the numbers, the members are overwhelmingly white. As a result, it can only be construed that minorities who come on OkCupid (and similar sites) are very likely seeking white partners from the onset, and secondly, but to a lesser extent, partners not of their own background and not necessarily white.”
“In other words, minorities who post profiles on OkCupid are a self-selected group who seek white partners, broadly speaking.”
One of the best sayings I’ve ever heard was this: “There is only one race, the human race…”
Keep praying people…please.
I believe that there are multiple, deep rooted reasons as to why the statistics are they way they are. I can not tell you what these reasons are, but I have a feeling that they range from Sally Hemings, to Oprah Winfrey to Aunt Jemima and all the way to Karine “Superhead” Stephens.
I do not believe anyone is at fault for who and what they are attracted to. I would never allow someone to make me feel guilty for something I do not control. I just want to point out that race is much more ingrained than we, as a nation, would like to admit. This study just confirms that.
In response to the ignorance spurted by “Just Saying”:
Black women have black, blonde, red, brown, straight, curly, wavy hair and anything and everything in between. Black women range from white-skinned to black-skinned. Black women have blue, green, gray, hazel, brown, and black eyes.
White women spend a lot of money to look “ethnic”. They get lip injections, butt implants and tan. They wouldn’t do all this is white men were not attracted to it. That’s very puzzling.
I’m a black girl and I personally get hit on or looked at by guys of ALL races, ages, and styles. I’ve been hit on by punk-y white guys, urban Asian guys, or any other type of guy that exists in LA. As a matter of fact, so far only men of other races have contacted me on OKC, but I also should add that I’m really pretty, I’ve got long straight (real) hair, and I’ve been told I “act white” (whatever that means).
Seeing these statistics makes me sad, black women really are the black sheep of the dating world despite the fact that we’re usually much more devoted and strong than some women of other races. People like what they like and I won’t fault anyone for that, but it just makes me feel bad for some of my black female friends who have a hard time finding a man.
But for guys who say they couldn’t like a black woman, don’t say that until you’ve met me, or one of the many other stunning black women I see around LA. I haven’t met many guys who wouldn’t date me regardless of my race.
While some of the numbers do seem to have a pattern, have you also calculated the statistical significance of all the results? I would be interested in that.
@JamesAGuy
I think that conclusion is much too assumptive. By that logic, I could also say that people of color who go pretty much anywhere in the United States aspire to be with white people because most people in the United States are white. Heck, I could even say by virtue of being in the United States in the first place those same people of color aspire to be with whites. Just because someone is surrounded by a different race does not mean that person aspires to be with people of that race. It just means circumstances dictate that that person is surrounded by people of another race. I think the correct emotional response in that case should be sympathy.
It’s equally possible that the people of color on OKCupid are having a hard time finding other members of their own race “in real life” because there are simply fewer. Thus, they have come to an online dating site because there’s a much larger pool and thus more people of their own race with whom they can form a community. Internet usage in the United States is actually a great example of this occurring — it’s a very white community but with distinct ethnic blogospheres, forums, etc. In fact, this blog post and resulting comment thread itself could be an indication of people of color creating a community for themselves in an otherwise very white arena.
Hm. I love all types. all people. even the rude ones. color is just flavor. like money is just PAPER. [cotton embedded paper]
I kinda hope everyone gets over themselves/ their irrational fears/ their parents”ideals” and actually start working towards race being irrelevant.
I am a spanish/ white mix, but because I don’t speak spanish fluently I am a gringo. Because I am brown, old ladies clutch their purses as I walk by. It’s time to get real. More real than the real world.
I agree with James A Guy… there aren’t a lot of POC here, and non-whites who are primarily searching for POC partners are bound to get frustrated and eventually leave — which makes the current OKC racial demographics self-perpetuating. The pool for POC seeking same-race partners exclusively or primarily (people whose preferences are representative of the vast majority of POC) is shallow indeed here. The ones that stay and battle it out despite high rejection rates will be the ones who:
a) are not at all averse to/reticent about dating whites in combination with their own/others
or
b) are interested in dating whites exclusively
or
c) are primarily interested in pursuing whites online because same-race partners are easier to come by (kind of like bisexual women who exclusively look for female partners on OKC)
OKC is WAY whiter than the U.S. population. There are dating sites specifically targeted towards POC and there are way more diverse “non-racially specific” free dating sites out there. If these findings were truly indicative of the preferences of POC, then it means that in the real world, where IR marriage numbers are extremely low, that POC are merely settling for same-race partners due to a strong same-race preference among whites, and I know first hand that that’s a preposterous conclusion.
Sigh
1. I acknowledged how the US has a very white racist past and to a lesser degree present.
2. I acknowledge that the media shows white as right when it comes to looks (although for the last 40 years or so this has been consciously attended to in some of the media, while still seeing the main issue remain.) That said, ANY country/culture that has a majority of its citizens be a certain race, would reflect this, it’s humans being human. Yes, sadly.
3. Sure, women dye their hair and white women try to look more ethnic etc.
4. Sure, we’re all individuals and NONE OF WHAT I’M SAYING will be/make sense for all.
But what I simply stated is FACT. It is objective fact. You cannot get around it.
Women of African descent all (other than a few strains of orangish hair) have black, curly hair. Women of Indian descent all have black to dark brown hair. Women of Asian descent all have black to dark brown hair. Only white women have black, dark brown, light brown, sandy brown, blond, sandy blond, red, strawberry blond. Only white women have blue eyes, along with having ALL the colors of eyes other women have.
This is observable FACT and not my opinion. Do you get that? Or are you not thinking objectively and stuck to your own subjective take? This is not subjectivity on my part.
Now sure, dye jobs etc do exist to blur all of that, but it’s still a looks thing that males consciously to subconsciously are attracted to simply out of it being unique.
Also, nobody seems to respond to my very, i feel, poignant point about things that have ZERO to do with the white media. And i ADMIT that the white media CONTRIBUTE to the popularity of white women. NO doubt about it, but it’s not the whole story.
In India, before colonial times, Indian men saw lighter skinned Indian women as the higher prize. This remains to this day and in India there is an Indian media, Indian movie industry etc.
In Africa it is the same as far as lighter skinned african women being held at a higher status.
Spike Lee wrote a movie about it in the US, but i suppose white media will be seen as the cause of that.
At some point people need to drop the sensitivity around this and ask themselves if, on larger levels than individual tastes, it is possible darker is more masculine and lighter is more feminine. AGAIN. I’m talking majority of people, not individuals.
Look. I grew up in an urban area. I’ve liked and loved black people (my father’s been with a black woman for 15 years and is almost 80 now, my bro’s dated a black woman for 5 years, i’ve slept with and had shorter relationships with black women. I am attracted to PEOPLE i’m attracted to. ) My heart, despite what you can get your head around, is in the right place as far as all of us getting along and treating each other with basic human respect.
And i resent anyone who sees this as me, a white guy (jewish) simply trying to “prove” my coolness by stating “i have black friends.” I HAVE to say these things so some will realize my heart IS in the right place and i DO see people as individuals. (and i realize most of you are rolling your eyes right now, but you really have no idea of me or what i’ve been about. And yes, i can only say these things on a board since our culture is simply NOT ready to talk about this stuff honestly.)
What i’m trying to get at is something deeper here. I’m simply suggesting that on the whole, on average, dark is more masculine and light is more feminine. And the FACTS suggest that on average, this is surely a possibility.
Not every white woman is good looking, at all. MANY MANY MANY non white women ARE incredibly attractive.
But at some point, looking at the WORLDWIDE FACTS, many of which date back to before “white media influence,” it appears “more” men of the world prefer white women than any other. Just more.
And I DO recognize that on a very real level EVEN GOING HERE is dangerous and futile since we’re all individuals and this kind of thing clearly can be used in harmful ways.
I do not feel i’m doing that and anyone who takes what i’m saying the wrong way needs to realize the NUANCE i’m using here and not take it personally.
Almost forgot a continent. South American and Central American (and indigenous to the “Americas”) women too, ALL have black to dark brown hair.
That’s EVERY “group” of people, speaking of original spread of humans, other than european descent, having black or dark brown hair and no blue eyes, every group (after the out of Africa phase, and yes, we’re all African in that respect.)
@Richard
The logic rests on choice. Does the individual have other choices and options?
When it comes to dating on the internet, people clearly have many options: they can go to a generic site, such as OkCupid that, according to one respondent, does not even provide ethnic information or the ability to filter by ethnic background. Or to a site specifically catering to a particular ethnic group, which there are aplenty.
So clearly, given the options available elsewhere, those who come to OkCupid are implicitly saying that their first preference is white.