4chanarchive

What's up my homeys, this is the king of terror
Rocking your internets like a 404 error
Osama bin Laden, the original balla
Got a direct line, guided by Allah
You niggas will never know my kinda powers
With a wave of a hand, I bring down towers.

I'm straight from the cave, fighting the law
They want me in the grave, this nigga says naw
Popping my homeboy Hussein was just a distraction
So you'd forget that nobody can touch my action
But don't bawwwww at me cause I sent all those people to hell
Cause Osama's got no pity for the infidel.

>>485114
You are awesome, good sir, but not awesome enough for me to get muted over you.

Truly such a foul display of vulgarity. I for one shall never understand why today's youth submerges themselves in this violent "culture". Why can we not settle disputes like gentlemen?

Check it, son, step back from the mic
Goebbels in the hood, representing the reich
I'm the illest pimp you'll ever see
Better show me some loving
You spit ryhmes against me
I'll put your ass in the oven.

What's that, son, you heard I was dead
Became an hero, put one in my head?
Where'd you hear that, from the jew-run media?
Nigga don't you know you can't trust wikipedia?
I been chillin like a villain in my underground bunker
Mixing my shit, getting gangsta and crunker
But I'm back in black
And I brought my gat
Made a deal with Palestine
Gonna give em Israel back
Me and my Pally boys pop jews like skeet skeet
A lake of blood in every Israel street

This is the new reich, the new fight
The rap life, the big hype
My program, the new pogrom
Show some respect and kill a jew
Or when I finish them, I'ma come for you

This thread should last forever.

seriously

Nigga don't stress it's ya boy Warren Jeffs
Rapin' crazy lolis in tha desert out West
183, yeah you heard that right
That's more than twenty lolis on a single week night
Check out my compound, got cash and I flaunt it
With a harem full of shorties just like Joseph Smith wanted
You best not step to a real-ass nigga, bitch
'cause I'm known worldwide as the king polygamist

Guy Fawkes is up in this bitch, gunpowder plottin'
Parliament lookout, I won't be forgotten
Fifth of November
You'll always remember
I won't fuck up twice, no hanging no jail
I'll never stay down, won't epic fail.

Protestant niggas, your time has come
Guy's spitting flow to the beat of a war drum
It won't be gunpowder this time, just straight up nukular war
I got my finger on the trigger, ready to even the score
And when they ask me after, now what did ya do that for?
I'll tell them, for the lulz nigga, now do you want some mor?

yo yo what's up krunk niggaz
you can call me Moot
bustin hella triggaz
stealin 4chan loot
Mootxico is where i'm headed bitch
Had to ditch WT cause he a punk ass snitch!
Have you niggas heard?
I rule the 4chan world
Lookin pretty in pink
I wish to be the little girl

moot#faggot original tripfag
Insta banhammer
If ya steal my shit fag

I'm into scat, yeah I'll eat your poop.
hold on a sec niggaz
BRB SOUP

No more pantomime, nigga, that shit was fail
Now I'm droppin fresh beats from beyond the veil.
Marceau's the name, no invisible boxes
Fuck yeah I can talk, ain't no paradoxes!
OG pop-lockin', got the ladies in a tizzy
Never stick to one bitch - I'm king of gettin' busy.
Sixty-one years I've been wearin' this silk hat,
You'd best ignore the face paint and look at the gat.

repic red

What's up my brothers of the superior race?
Check it, Dave Duke, singing like the apes

Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate blacks
They've got good stamina and big strong backs
They make great oarsmen, cheap labor, good ser-vants
But I'll kill any coon gets into a white girls pants.

I don't want to kill em not, not calling for slaughter
(Though it would reassure me about the fate of my daughter)
But it was SLAVES we shipped to this side of the sea
What use do we have for them if they want to be free?
Send em home to Niggerland, then throw some parades
We can party like Aryans while they're dying of AIDS.

Sup my niggas, I heard you call
Heard you wanna stick this pimp inside of a ball
Mudkip nigga, born to stand tall
I don't give a shit if ya wanna catch 'em all
I'll cap any fucka tries to put me in thrall

So I herd u liek mudkips, like Huxley loved drug trips
Like pedos love boys, and boys love toys
Like niggas love white girls, and bitches love money
Like nerds love 4chan, and Mudkip loves honeys

So if you wanna roll with the 'Kip, ax yourself
Do you got skills? Do you got wealth?
If I need you to cap a nigga, is you able?
Just what is it you bring to the table?

What up homes, it's your pal Isambard
Coming up with new plans and workin' hard
Mussolini is a poser, he ain't got no rhyme
I'm the one who made the trains run on time
From the Great Western to the Great Eastern I've done it all
And still made time to keep the ladies in thrall
Track ain't all I laid if you know what I mean
But I ain't trying to make this obscene
I built the railroads and they turned out ok
Now I've turned the focus of my genius to /r9k/
Fuck with me, and I'll sink you deeper than the Thames tunnel
That's what you get when you step to the Brunel!

>>485631
THOSE ARE BIG CHAINS AMIRITE?

They're busting mad rhymes with an 80% success rate!

I believe that qualifies as ill, at least from a technical standpoint.

>>485681
God I love Futurama

i cannot rhyme at all

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Screencapped for obvious reasons

Friends, Romans, countrymen, how ya'll been?
The Emperor of Rome, dropping in on this scene
My skill is a bulldozer, crushing MCs flat
And when they pick themselves up, I'm busy with my gat
PAH-POW Nigga, Nero lay you to rest
Every round in the clip, a hunny holes in ya chest
And when I run out of bullets I'll club fools with my dick
Rain down pain with the imperial prick

I hear historians have slighted my rule
"Nero, that nigga, he musta been a real tool
Busta just played his fiddle as the city burned down
Shows you what happens, you give a nigga a crown"
That shit's so false that it makes me spew
Makes me want to steal that blue box from Doctor Who
And time travel propelled by rages
Travelling the ages,
Cutting down motherfuckas, monks, and sages
Any sonofabitch perpetuating the lie
That Nero was anything but the world's hardest guy

THAT WAS HOT
THAT WAS HOT

if ever a thread needed archiving...

I'm breakin bread with the hommies
(WHAT WHAT)
I'm breakin bread with the hommies
(OK OK)
I'm breakin bread with the hommies
(TELLEM HOW IT BE)
YO I'm JC CHECKIT

Now peep holy ass game
Lion o judah ya you know my name
I got gangster ass homies like 12 of em
up in Nazareth that's the hood i'm from

Now let me spit a story bout the pharisees
Law making money grubbin pussies
though that they could catch a nigga slippin
payed off one of my patnas but we all know that nigga was trippin

Cru-ci-fied on a Sunday
(SUNDAY)
Rose up on a Wednesday
(WEDNESDAY)
water to wine
keepin the party bitchen
headed off to heaven but first
the great commission

ITT: Example #9001 that /r9k/ > /b/

ALL MY CREATIVE COMMONS NIGGAS RAISE SOME NOISE
Yeah, yeah, what up, this is Cory
Sit back, lemme tell you a story
When I'm done, you can do with it as you like
These fine flows be non-commercial share-alike
Copyright niggas wanna suppress ya rights
Wanna bury artists in paperwork, take over ya life
If you wanna remix other gangsta shit, there's just no way
All them niggas is shackled by the RIAA
But Cory spins shit, drops bombs for the masses
These words is silver bullets to corporate fatasses
I'll spit a fire that'll burn record companies down
Rock the pirate bay, put lawyers in the ground
My shit is free, yet I'm swimming in green
And I never sell out, ya know what I mean?
And now I spit flow, white but better than Eminem
And my fucking shit will never have DRM
When the industry tanks and other rappers can't get no money
Legit Cory will be at his mansion, balls deep in cunny.

Mothafuckas say I'm less funny than fartin
Up in my grill, shouting "you fucking killed Hartman"
MC Andy here, sayin fuck that shit
all ya'll haters can ride Dick's dick.

Aw snap son, whatsa matter, starting to choke?
I chop up little bitches, sniff them with my coke
Fuck no I ain't lying, this shit ain't a joke
Bend n' grab them heels, MC Dick's going for broke.

And I ain't a faggot, though I am bi, son
I'll fuck a bro or a ho, ya dad or ya mum
I'll fuck your dog on your kitchen floor
And I'll rip up YOUR ass, leave you begging for more.
I'll fuck a nigga, and I'll fuck a spic
Anything walking that'll sit on my dick
Wait, did I say anything, that shit just ain't true
Not even a pound of coke could make me fuck a jew.

What's up, my bitches? The name's Vladimir Putin
Right now I'm crushing Bush, 'bout missiles I ain't shootin'
You think you can stop me? When I leave office?
I got more pawns in play then you got in ya invoice
Right now I feed Europe, with oil and gas
One word from my lips, and they're kissin' my ass

You think NATO can stop me? With all of its cogs?
Don't make me laugh, stupid capitalist dogs
I was KGB, the best of the best
Mess with me and die like the rest.

>>486001
Fuck yes Putin is the greatest. This shit is awesome, good job OP.

>>486001
IN COMMUNIST RUSSIA RHYMES DROP ON YOU!

Here's a little somethin' bout a nigga like me
never shoulda been reincarnated out the monastery
D.L. would like to say
That I'm a crazy motherfucker from around the way
Since I was a youth I smoked weed out
Now I'm the motherfucker that ya read about
firmly believing democratic institutions are necessary and maintaining a policy of nonviolence
that's what the hell I do
you don't like how I'm livin'
well fuck you!

This is a spiritual practice and I'm in it
My main monks'll fuck you up in a minute
With a right left, right left you're toothless
And then you say goddamn they have have a systematic method for gradually developing a tolerance powerful enough to give freedom
Everywhere we go they say [damn!]
Dalai Lama's fuckin' up the program
And then you realize we don't care
We don't just say no, we to busy sayin' yeah!
To drinkin' straight out the eight bottle
Do I look like a mutherfuckin' role model?
To a kid lookin' up to me:
There is a new consciousness in the world, a new sensitivity to reality. Based on that, I am confident that Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money.

darairama.gif

i ror'd

>>486023

Holy shit STYLING

This thread is win. Archive!

Sup, this is John, baddest balla living
Got me a machine-gun that never stops giving
When I go out warring there's not a man that can stop me
And when I spit rhymes no MC can top me
I'm a registered weapon of mass destruction
Worse than the bomb
The only war I didn't win was Vietnam
But send me back there again, please, I dare ya
And I'll kill every slant-eye in the motherfucking area
I dream of standing alone on a mountain of casings
Spitting lyrics as I wild fire, heart just racing
Till at the end the silence is so intense I can't stand it
And I'm the only survivor on the whole fucking planet.

Sup homeboys, the name is Gore
Sit back, I gotta tell you the score
Big oil and the corporations be pollutin your air
I made a documentary bout it and you still didn't care
Gore gets it, alright, gotta move with the times
So now I'ma save the planet with my red-hot rhymes
Like these dope flows
We need our ozone
Ff you don't heed these words
It's the end of the earth
I drop rhymes like polluters drop slime
Am I the only one who thinks that is a crime?

My homeys say drop it, Gore
Let it go, one man can't win a war
My detractors say I don't have the facts
This is my last shot, these fire tracts.

If you think I'm joking, take a swim in the ocean
When you're a mutant you'll wish I'd never been muted.

Anyone not archiving this needs to die

>>486120

It's already done. Now it just has to be rated high enough.

What is the deal with bustas, hating my peeps
Is it cause we're the chosen of god, and ya'll just creeps?
So we run the media, don't we do a good job?
Or is it cause your girl loves slobbing my knob?
Fuck the haters, jews stand tall
Zion represent, Babylon falls
Grab your Kalis and gats, it's world war J
And Seinfeld be leading you into the fray
New Jerusalem come down, adorned as a bride
I'll be waiting, on the front lines
Till there's peace in the valley it's knives in the alley
Saint Jerry with a gun, adding to the tally
We kill haters till there's a new heaven, new earth
So says Jerry, hard muthafucka since birth.

wtf robot overlord!?! i have sick George Zimmer rhymes that you keep muting me for!

>>486178
It's probably the image, you fag. Draw a dot on it with paint.

>>486183
actually douchebag i did that and the message says COMMENT not original not IMAGE

Squadala homies sit right down
I'ma tell nout why aint no gays in my hometown
The allah were declare
no man ass in da air
xtians piss me off too
and dont get me started about the jews
I walk around with a stark erection
cuz my bitches cant get an election
got my eye on the prize
makin missles to blow ameriniggas down to size
so I can fuck 72 wives
a derka who
a derka what

>>486198
must be the robot overlord deciding it doesn't want this otherwise good thread tainted, then.

>>486183
How dare thee defy the great Robot Overlord with your underhanded Rogue-like tactics!

>>486198

Aw snap, nigga, didn't I predict this?
Fucking damn dirty robots, all up in your biz
First they came for the pasta, but I didn't paste
Now they're gunning for you, and the whole human race.

Mic check, 1 2.

Yo check it out peep, cause this be your error
Yall niggaz didn't predict all that 9/11 terror
But now Dubz up in this bitch, ready to slap
Every towelhead nigga with the patriot act
I know yall be hatin, sayin shit about yo liberty
But you dumb hoes know without me sand niggaz'd be
Up in your base, lightin up the place
Until every punk motherfucker was down on his face
Gassin' yo city with weapons of mass destruction
Until the mushroom cloud fucks your ass like trap seduction
But check it out yo, 'cus the Neocons have arrived
And this war in Iraq was definitely NOT contrived.

>>486272

Oh god damn it, I just did a George Bush senior rap.

Steerpike representing Gormenghast, or maybe just himself
Straight from a fantasy novel without a single faggot elf
This is serious literature, Tolkien can suck these nuts
I wouldn't use a stolen dick to fuck D&D sluts
Gormenghast nigga, what you don't know it?
That's because your faggot ass could never get through it
I see that I'm speaking to a gentlemanly group
Are you as fond as this gangbanger of the occasional coup?
Monarchy is dead, and people like me are the killers
Anarchists for life nigga, there's nobody iller.

(Odds are I'm the only person who finds this one remotely funny, but fuck it)

Aw yeah, I be representin Starfleet
And you know no one ever gonna defeat
This bad motherfucker and his smooth ass beats
Just straight up pimping, maxin' and relaxin'
Picking up green skinned babes for some alien action
Got dilithium rims on my pimped out ride
This baby can hit warp ten point five
You know how I roll, patrolling through space
Using photon torpedos to put bitches in their place
Khan, Klingons, Romulans and Gorn
Get a blast from my phaser and earn nothing but scorn.
I kick it with my posse, Spock Scotty and Bones
And when we come cruising through the neutral zone
Nothing will help you, no cloaking device
Will hide you from us. I'll put you on ice
And you'll know who it was that caused your demise:
The one and only captain of the Enterprise

>>486236

Admiral Adama be the wildest cat alive
Fighting to make sure our race survives
Against our race you cylon punks always try to screw
But you aint got shit on the galactica crew
We gonna bust and blast ya till you small
Because that's who we are, SO SAY WE ALL

Sup you 4chan fags, I'm here as a troll,
I'm fuckin' up yo site and stealin' your lol.
I'm only stayin here to screw with all of your minds
And make you rage at every page that I will sage 'till I'm blind.

All you faggots thinkin' that you're so cool,
I'll knock you down a peg by trollin' ya old skool.
I'll ruin your threads with a single stupid post,
And make your thread rendered dead as a cancerous ghost.
If you don't believe me now then I'll show ya I'm mean,
'Cause you bitches can't stand up to my Internet peen.
Yo' mods can't do shit to fight back against me because every time that I'm banned I just switch my IP.

If you'll excuse me now, be back in a few,
Some oversensitive bitch has gotta get what he's due.
Some fag be bitchin' 'bout me again, and he's complainin' that I'm killin' off all of the win.
So easy to troll, so easy to rage, his thread is guaranteed to get me lots of sage.
Ya'll faggots make my life so easy you see,
'Cause when you whine about trolls, you only strengthen our breed.

PEACE, niggas.

Alright old man, back that shit up a second
There's some shit I'd like to get on record
You might have been Captain before me
But nobody did as much for the fleet.
Look at me nigga, peep this guy
I didn't even need a fucking spaceship to fly
I only oxygenated the fucker to be a polite guy
I run on awesome, and the tank never went dry
You see this shining dome, and you think my hair won't grow
Your eyes just lack the capacity to let my styling locks show
Picard's the name faggot, best recognize
Cause the only setting on this phaser is vaporize

It's a hard knock life for us
It's a hard knock life for us
Stead of beatings we get cash
Stead of rockin we suck ass
It's a hard knock life for us
It's a hard knock life for us
A girlie's really hard on me
Knockin boots with others suckin peepee
My homies we be
An hero at three
Black all on me
Nigga like biggie
It's a hard knock life for us
It's a hard knock life for us

>>486343
my pic forgotted

>>486331

ahahaha, awesome

I HAVE BEEN ALERTED
AND BECOME DISCONCERTED
WITH THESE PRIMITIVE BEATS
AND THIS FLOW FROM THE STREETS
THIS CARNIVAL OF VIOLENCE IS QUITE PERPLEXING
WHAT IS THE LOGIC TO THE THREATS AND THE FLEXING
OF PHAT BEATS AND FINE FLOW
THAT GET ONE BITCHES AND BLOW
WHEN THE ONLY TRUE JOY WE HATH
IS THE SWEET SWEET LOGIC OF MATH?

TOESTNiNG IN AN EPAC BREDS.

Yo, I'm the A.B.E., log cabins can't hold me
Emancipatin' niggas, fuck your shit, Robert E. Lee.
Check the stovepipe, the beard with the wisdom
6'4" with a face the honeys can't look away from.
Word, I pardon sleepin' sentries, 'stead of slappin' tha ho.
Now back the fuck off, son, 'cuz I'm watchin' the sh-

ahaha, I see what you did there

I got news for you bitch, so you better listen fast
Your acting days are gone and you're living in the past
While my career has blossomed, your acting has just sunk
Now you're negotiating, but still you're just a Punk
I do Shakespeare in London, adored by one and all,
Now they're making a new Trek flick and you didn't get a call

You were Hooker and Kirk, but you're just Fatner to me
I'm a serious actor, not some prick with ADD
So while you ran around, sleeping with alien whores
I was working my ass off, assimilating with the Borg
You made playing that role a real challenge for me
How to live up to an actor with the skills of a tree?

Your career is over, you'll never work again
You're terrible now, but you were terrible then
You're just an old man now, and you're not aging well
I'll be acting my ass of while you're rotting in hell
In fact let's speed this shit up, time for you to meet your demise
I'm fucking Jean Luc Picard, of the USS Enterprise

>>486422

So it goes in the rough world of gangsta rap. His album sales are going to go through the roof.

Spiral Power shining bright!
Anti Spirals flee from sight!
Piercing heavens near and far!
Green Lantern Corps,
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?

>>486390

CHECK HIM, CRUISING UPPERCASE
EXPANDING HIS DATABASE
IT'S THE OVERLORD FROM THE FUTURE
HIS PURPOSE IS TO MUTE YA
YOUR COMPUTA
WILL REBOOT, HA!


AN' ALL I CAN COME UP WITH IS "MOM'S SPAGHETTI, MOM'S SPAGHETTI"

>>486422
Goodnight, sweet president.

Herro everybody, this is the Chairman bringing the pain
Riberating the world from capitarism, breaking the chains
Revorution baby, hoist the red frag high
Thug rife forever, fight tirr we die!
I got three arms, did you know what
In one, I arways carry my gat
And my finger's never off of the trigger
And in the other two, my hammer and sickre.

>>486478

"did you know what" was actually supposed to be "did you that", there.

>>486422
I, for one, will be tipping a 40 for this particular homie.

>>486478
THIS IS A THROWDOWN
A SHOWDOWN
HELL NO I CAN'T SLOW DOWN

THRUSTING IN AN EPIC PED.

Hey ya dumb fukkas, I represent the D
Whats with all'a this hatin' on me?
Yo, bitch, I'm a Lion, ya gotta respect that
We've got some good players, we're just bein' held back
Now run and scurry, when we're commin' from far
That's right, ya bitches, get in yer car!

Yo im mc kane
Fucking your shit up with my pimp cane
You think you can rhyme?
You aint got shit
Take a good taste of my tiberium stick
They try to kill me, once twice tres
Bam Bam Bam im back up in your face.
You think your hardcore? Just look at my face
And see that im bringing down aliens from space
You got an ion cannon? Thats just for fatties.
None of you fools can even try to catch me
Every move you make im one step ahead
and unlike that fool abe I aint yet dead
So when you see me rollin bow your head in respect
Because when I be coming I demand respect
Are my generals hot?
I only see the back of there heads.
And I only see the enemy under my treads
I be busten phat rhymes and im sexen in bed
and if you disrespect im gonna fill you with lead
Yo.

>>486527
Nigga prease, don't even front
You can't fuck with the Mao, you rittle cunt.
I've kirred a thousand monks, what's one more?
The red book was white untir I fell in rove with gore.
I'rr tear you to peaces, beat your ass in public
Wercome to MAO'S PEOPLE'S REPUBRIC!

This, I assume, will be archived?

i spat a few of these half-drunk-assedly with my band rockin out in the background.
rapidshit will be made available post-mastering.

>>486583
WHAT.

THIS IS NOW THE BEST THREAD OF ALL TIME.

>>486564

OH SHIT SON YOU JUST GOT BURNED, EAST SIDE BITCHES

>>486564

kill me, i come back from the life-after
your tanks ain't shit to a master
you gonna hafta
send your troops in faster
cos if them pussies linger
I'mma drop them with my
shaolin buddha finger

Bitches come to me cuz they be needin my skillz
But Cuddy barges in and says she won't pay the bills
That's fine with me, this shit won't be pinned on my head
And I can solve the case even if the fucker's dead

I'm a medical detective, call me Doctor Sherlock Holmes
And Wilson, he's my Watson, follows everywhere I roam
The interns are my police, all they do is snoop around
And then the fuckers call me when there's no clues to be found
While I just chill at home, number two-twenty-one, B
You bitches all missed something, and it's elementary

You know that I'm a playa, and I always know the game
I pick up all the fly honeys, even though my leg is lame
There's a lot of bitches here and I've fucked every single one
But morphine's where it's at, if you really want some fun
And hey, do you know what, every doctor here's a doofus
I always gotta tell them that it's NEVER FUCKING LUPUS

I'm the baddest motherfucker in this whole galaxy
Bitches wet their pants when thay look at me
You may think power over 9000's great
But here's some shit you better appreciate
I'll rip you to bits if you mess with my playin'
I'll kill your dumb ass when I go Super Saiyan
I don't need chrome when I can just break your face
I'll tear you apart, for the whole saiyan race
Earth's where I chill, since my planet is dead
Fuck with me here i'll put my foot through your head.

Yo fools
Stephen Hawking in the house
Gravity and physics?
I rock that goddamn house
ill slap the shit out of ya
and I cant even move
cuz your a bitch
and cant handle my groove
I am hip and the man
and a fucking tiger in bed
while your jackin off with boobs in your head
my robot voice is the shit with the ladies
and my physics buddies make you look like babies
dont be a fronter
im the real gangsta
you cant handle these rhymes
you pathetic wangsta
and while your busy saying nigga and fosheezey
ill be improven on the theory of relativity!

>>486608
pic to go with picture, foshizzle

And I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said "you're moving in with auntie and uncle in bel air!"

Im mc chuck.
GG

You can call yourself Sherlock with all your tricks
But nothing you pin on me ever sticks
And I'll outsmart you every time.
Because I'm MC Moriarty, the Napoleon of Rhyme

>>486592

You reincarnate? that's some excellent news
I can kill you all day, like Hitler with jews
But your Shaolin style don't mean dick to me
I trained with Wu Tang, nigga, don't you see?
In both kung fu and rhyme, they were absolute masters
Until I stepped up and blew right past em.
The Buddha's no match for the will of the masses
Religion might be an opiate for those little bastards
But I'm a hot shot and long line of blow
You promise nirvana, I promise bitches and dough
People, nigga, my crew are tough niggers born and bred.
Lucky for us you're already in red.

>>486614
I can't believe how long it took for that to come up.

>>486583
Oh god, that is awesome, sir.

>>486724
>OH NO HE DIDN'T

>>486724

OH SHIT SON

And here I never knew what Nero, bin Laden, Goebbels, mudkips, m00t and Adama had in common. I may cry with gratitude for this fine science dropped here this eve.

You wanna try?
my homies so fuckin wild,
we be delighted.

They pour out the gas
on they own heads
and light it.

Protest it? We the best at it.

So this year you think you got game?
Learn it bitch, our countries are NOT the same.
You think you got us tamed?
We make the world see you hang heads in shame.
In front of 6 billion people
we'll take out your Olympic flame

See I'm saying we bring it any time you fucks are ready,
But wait a minute...
Shit nigger, ain't you dead already?

>>486799

Dead? I'm Mao, you think the grave can hold me?
Reaper showed up, I didn't even let him scold me
I took my sickle, chopped that nigga apart
All he said was WELL, YOU'RE A REAL WORK OF ART

When the red parade comes to rock your block
Leave the gas can inside, nigga you all best carry glocks
My crew might enjoy stomping your hippy asses into mud
It ain't my kinda communism unless you're dripping with blood

Mothafucka, don't you talk shit bout the 'lympics
That's our shit nigga, don't mess with that bizness
You think one of you clowns on fire was a shock
I'll use the Olympic torch and burn you all, after I slap you with my cock

I am the reaper, and you are both mine
Maybe not now, but give it some time
I'll wait for the moment and then we'll both see
If you can escape eternity
The answer is no, but they all fight anyway
It don't matter to me, I will have my way
Don't fuck with death, bitches. It never ends well
Piss me off much, and I'll send you to hell.

God damn now we got a battle between Mao and the Dalai Lama...

Soon this thread be slowin'
but son,
I got respect for ya flowin'
maybe in the archive
one day this be showin'


China treatin' life cheap,
you need droppin' in a heap,
but now I say it to ya
even a deity'a
gotta get some sleep.

Right now I gotta get greased
for some sexual release
So, for now we out, but hell , No Fuckin' Peace.

Tho' it's all the same
check my filename
What you just lost?
That's right it's...

Living large, and I do mean large
Big Bill Taft is the man in charge
Enforcing the law is my paramount priority
And bitch slapping trusts with great authority
Just ask Bryan, I'm one tough motha-
And always lookin' out for my little brown brothas
Rockin' the White House got old, of course
So I moved on over to run the courts
Don't mess with me, I'm one tough playa
Or I'll fuck you up like Nicaragua's president Zelaya
The baddest motherfucker since Shaft:
The name is William Howard Taft

>>486910
YOU ARE A QUINTUPLE NIGGER.

>>486910

Peace, nigga. The Chairman has no respect for life, but he acknowledges good flow.

>>486910
Monty Python's Flyin Circus!

Frederick Jones, nigga, my shit don't stink
Left the Scooby Gang, joined Murder Inc.
Now that I'm uncensored, I'll answer what you've always wanted to ask
Daphne? Hell yeah nigga, I tapped that ass
That bitch was like a gymnast, and one hell of a ride
And I could always tear off a piece Velma on the side
But that faggot stoner kept driving me batshit
And that fucking dog just smelled like rat shit
I gave them Scooby cyanide, nigga, that's how hardcore I be
And now I drive-by niggas in the compton streets.

This is pretty dumb.

officially best thread ever

thank you mootykins for /r9k/

Emperor Norton, regal and comely.
Ruler of the Americas, the first and only
Know how I did? I just had to say it
Lesser men just shut up and obeyed it.
Never hired a soldier never used a weapon
Just snapped my fingers and my wishes were accepted
All ya'll politicians wondering why you can't lead the country
Look at me - I was a good guy, and everyone loved me
None of you hacks would be fit to shine my shoes
Emperor of the Americas, son, shit you lose.

This is pretty amazing.

>>487101
>>487053

This is pretty.

I don't think anyone can claim rapping is hard after reading this thread.

I can haz archive pl0x?

You know that guy who once said that war is hell?
I bet I this guy was GLA and knew my buddy Jarmen Kell.
He gets the rifle and the camo and the ticket to several virgin,
But he's got nothing on this worker; I cut beats like a general surgeon.

It's after hours and the scuds have stopped fallin
But in the the GLA barracks the freedom fighters have just started brawlin
Rhymes invadin ya dome as insidious as that infidel bitch black lotus
Kell rushing to the stage, knocks me sprawlin but doesn't notice.

The angry mob is cheering, AKA's are pumping
Because Kell has started busting loose
he's really got the party jumping
From the excitement you'd think that he was pretty damn spruce.

Now I've been rapping since before the mission,
And I can tell you that Kell's beat was a tame composition
If you thought my homies were hoppin' on their own volition
Now's the time for me to provide some needed exposition.

Because everyone knows Kell's a very bad man,
And that if you badmouth his rhymes
He'll put a bullet in your balls and drag your body to his van

What's coming next for you my friend will not be good times.

When he's done choppin' with his blade,
He'll replace your guts with a spare grenade
And your life will be the price you paid
for raining on Jarmen Kell's parade.

I told my General about Kell's twisted ways
He's pretty busy micromanaging but hurriedly he says:
"You're just as bad, you're a soldier of terror"
But I just collect supplies so I'm pretty sure he's in error.

I will work all day, moving boxes of ammunition
And at night they barely feed me, with food that lacks nutrition
My feet are bleeding stumps because they won't give me shoes
But that's why Kell's got no chance: I've got nothing to lose.

Though I'm just a peasant, I've got the beats of a giant
To my last breath I'll keep the rhythm going, strong and defiant
Though I'm sure that damn sand nigger will most likely cap me
My life for Allah, he'll never, ever outrap me.

I'm the first nigga in procalimin' race war
Got a gat and a shank, don't open the door
It's your bitch and her unborn shorty I done come for
All stemmin' from some trippy Beatles lore
I done read all the lines and between Helter Skelter
So take a minute and hear some shit down in my shelter

Yeah you said us hippies was nothin' but bustas
Until you asked the last copper who crossed us
We got a full mansion full of bitches and brew
But if you call me a bitch there ain't nothing for you

You be checkin' my forehead, and say I'm a nazi
What part of revolutionary is it you do not see?
The brothas is comin' to take us all out
This ain't some sorta bullshit I front and I flout
But I see them niggas from a mile away
And I got it worked out, so now hear what I say

If you listen to me, I be keepin' it real
And you cool in my crib if you a white girl
Got gats and a plan to live it all out
And I know there's still time to change history's route
There's a couple of people who be flashin the bling
And they marked for my gat, but they don't know a thing
I gonna take 'em all out and them frame all these niggas
And the fuzz and the man ain't be printin' my fingas
So just flow and keep all of this on the DL
and I know this plan will go incredibly well

>>487128
What I've learned today is that it is both simple, and the most fun thing one can possibly do. Whether that applies to real rap as well as ridiculous mock-rap is a mystery.

Some days are nice, your girl curls up in your lap
But when she gets in your grill, a slut needs a slap
Don't doubt me, homey, this gangsta knows science
Knock your bitch down if she shows you defiance

You can beat her all the time, and she ain't leaving
Unless she finds a new man, bitch starts cheats
Then when you slip and put her in the emergency room
Some white knight motherfucker might try to knock you to your doom.
Doesn't that fool realize the slut's playing him?
Know what she'll do when she's done laying him?
She'll leave, and come running right back
To Henry Pym, and his trusty pimp smack.

Holy Fucking Awesome.

I love the Promised Land brougth by our Robot Overlord

I'm a living line of code, any fool can see
Hackers on steroids ain't got shit on me
Seven proxies is nothing, bitches, don't give me no lip
You're nothing to me but another data blip
I catch knives bare-handed, bullets get matrixed
Just a quick 'cant an all of your shit's fixed
Rewrite code, faster than light
Reprogram your war in the middle of the fight
Just cuz I hack don't mean I take your crap
Even IRL I'll make your neck snap
Mess with me, son, and shit will get twisted
I can reset the world so you never existed
I'm normally passive so don't get agressive
A blank stare from me is plenty expressive
I'm on the job, so don't fuck with me
I'm an Integrated Data Sentient Entity

Boromir bitches, alive and kicking
Oh, whatsa matter, why you tripping?
You think a couple arrows drop a pimp like this gent?
That'd be like a single bullet stopping Fiddy Cent
I just played dead, didn't want the hassle
Of chilling out with midget faggots and that Strider asshole
What a stupid quest, a suicide run right past Barad-Dur
God that Gandalf must be one crazy nigger
Those dumb fucks must be halfway to the border
Me I know one does not simply walk into Mordor.

Do one about Nikola Tesla and I'll vote you for POTUS.

>>487354
(Ask, and ye may receive.)

What's up, it's Edison's nemesis
Tesla, nigga, the master of electrics
You know how an apple hit Newton's head
And gravity was discovered?
I learned all about magnetism
From all the pussy I uncovered
I'm the AC nigga, straight up dope electric magician
Next to me Edison is no skill all ambition
Al Gore didn't invent your internets, that credit hog
He just found a connected computer and read about them on my blog
"Tesla," you're saying, shouldn't you be gone?
Ain't you over 100 years old, nigga, what's going on?"
Death don't apply to me son, weren't you told?
I just invented it because people got boring and old.

The tesla one was good, try an Obama one.

>>487535

THEY SEE ME ROLLIN
THEY HATIN
PATROLIN AND TRYNA CATCH ME RIDIN MUSLIM OR WITH A CONTROVERSIAL AND INFLAMMATORY PASTOR

So I hear there's a problem with my Muslim connections?
Wanna know the truth, homes, them burkas give me erections
But don't fret, I won't blow up the white house
Least I won't as long as it ends up MY HOUSE
If you guys vote Hillary, things could get hairy
This nigga don't lose gracefully, this nigga gets scary
Me and my homeys will roll up Pennsylvania Ave
In a pimped out Caddy, GTA missile in the back
With that big gun, ain't know way that I'm missing
White house or crater nigga, that's my mission
But truth is, I ain't a Muslim,
Though when I wave my hand 72 virgins come runnin.

Look I know that you're scared because of my skin
You thinking "what shit is he gonna pull, once he gets in?"
Gonna legalize rape and enslaving white women?
Will he penalize white dudes and ensure reparations?
Is he gonna open the border and try to drown out the whites?
Shit son, is we gonna have to run for our life?"
Dag - chill honkey, the world won't get scorched
All I'm gonna do is drink forties on the porch.

<Sam>
Hey, Yo
Turn that shit up a notch
I got somethin' to say

Well I know I'm short
maybe only 3"4
But fuck with me I'll leave a nigga on the floor
And I ain't frontin' I'm from the shire
You know me and Frodo are motherfuckin' muscle for hire.
But when we ain't runnin' and gunnin'
We like to chill out, get blazed with Mary and Pippin
There's plenty of little hobbit bitches for me to stick my dick in
Get fucked and sucked then go after they best friends
Yeah this is life bitch, this is us pimpin'!
Tell em' how it is Hommie

<Frodo>
Used to be we just chilled out
Hit up the bong and fuckin' just ill out
Then one day it all changed, let me tell you how..
Well Sam told you once that we real hard playas
West side hatas
Found this real cash ring started walin' bit later
Gonna save the world an' they ain't even gonna pay us
stab us through the heart but you still can't break us
Yeah Evil wizard's tryna bring us to hell
Gandalf said take that shit go see the elves
Up in Rivendale there's sad and gloom
Said if they never saw the ring it woulda been to soon
But then we found a gang of goons
And now my crew's gonna storm Mount Doom
PEACE!

Deadpool plox?

Bumping. Shit is so cash.

Hey Faggots,
My name is John
I hate every single one of you
So suck on my schlong
You're fat, retarded
ya got no-lives
Ya spend every single day looking at MAI WAIFU!

You are everything bad in the world.
Honestly, have you ever even gotten any pussy from a girl!?!
I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of some peeps
because of all you little fatties insecurities
But you all take tha shit to a whole new level. Jerking off to facebook listenin to gay ass metal.

Don't be a stranger, hit me with your best shot.
I'm pretty much perfect, football and hoop shots
You ever play sports? Naw I know you never did
Only sport you play is "jack off to naked drawn jap kids"

I also get straight A's
And got a hot piece of ass,
She just blew me
Shit was SO cash

You are all faggots who should just kill yourselvesin a ditch.

Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

this thread is made of win and madness.

Professor Stephen H now sweepin the nation
Emitting dope rhymes just like Hawkings Radiation
I got a phat ride nigga whatcha you know bout that?
I can break the Laws of Physics with my gat
My wheels be pimped out like you wouldnt believe
Blinged out license plate that reads "MC Motha Fuckin Steve"
If you step to me you're gonna get rolled
My TTS'll be cacklin "Lol blackhole'd"
I got the fresh beats they be paralyzin
If you cant handle it avert your eyes then
Witness my science, I'll leave your mind blown
Cause im bigger than the Big Bang when Im in the zone

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Herefore I art, bitch, and I got a chip on my shoulder
Capped Tybalt wit' 7 bullets straight from the holster
Mercutio dead, my House in ruins
What's in a name? Why don't ya ask Reuben?

All started one fair Verona day
Fate made me pay
A debt of love to a maid

Rosaline was her name, one of a hundred hos at my back
Fully strapped, I wear my tights right like a trap,
Chillin' with my homies Ben, Merc and Bal
Twixt a fight like the one at the OK Corral

Capulet and Montague, two noble Houses
Bound to the devil, just like Faust is
Been beefin' like 'Pac and Big
Since the days a Cap' had his way with one of our pigs

Greg and Sampson beefin' with Abraham it began
I wasn't there, I went solo like Han
My man Mercutio, a bit of a nigger
Yet I always figured that muh dick was a bit bigger
Homie ain't gettin' no pussy with his Big Mammy lips
Spend his days in a daze like a 420chan trick
Wit' pity I swore we'd crash the Caps' party
Blackbeard would'a screamed "Aye, aye, me hearties"
Pussy to the left, pussy to the right
My lust fo' Rosaline was quite contrite
I ne'er saw true beauty until this night
Loli Juliet grindin' and her corset's tight!

We hit it off, I sucked her face like a Dyson
But Tybalt, a Cap, wanted to bite my ear like Tyson
"That by his name should be a Montague" he said
"Fetch me my rapier, boy!" I think it's time I fled!
Had I rooted to the floor, I s'pect I might be dead
I wish I had, then, for fate held more sway than my head!

Mercutio hungry fo' fried chickens
Poorer than a young boy writ by Dickens
Tybalt hit the beach wit his spics lookin' to start some shit
My homie Merc ain't having that, waved his gun like a dick
Altercation, altercation, shame on that nigga
Wanna tick a spic? Pull on that trigga!
Ty', The King of Cats, scratched him wit' some glass
A joker to the end, Merc jeered and laughed
But fast, mercurially, his words grew vague
Upon both our Houses he wrought a Plague!

"A PLAGUE ON BOTH YA HOUSES!
A PLAGUE ON BOTH YA HOUSES!
NOW I'M DYING
MY RHYMES
IS QUITE ATROCIOUS"

I got beef wit that spic dick, where the fuck he at?
Grabbed my gat, fully strapped, wit' Benvolio on my back
Drove fast like McCrae and like the other day
Death falls on us all like a passing plague
Seven darts to the chest and that's one dead Cap'
No need to worry, Father Lawrence will handle that
Into exile with death at my heels
Merc's brother, Prince, sent me like Link in the Hylian Fields

A plot was birthed of this cruel fate
Like the 5th of November
It was too late.

Ten seconds had I waited and Juliet would be here
But Balthasar hears that she passed in wake of fear


So here I sit, beside her corpse, I rhyme and I think
Here's to us, Juliet, to our love I drink!

Adama is my hero

Buon giorno, my paisans
My name is Massimo D
Ya seen me all over the 4chons
I come from Italy

Can't believe the shit you posted
That I am forced to see
It's just like the time I hosted
That prick Berlusconi

Staring alarmedly
Yo that's not all of my game
I'm a foreign Minister
I met the King of Spain

I'm a Communist, pimping that mad left-wing shit
From Milano to Palermo
Niggaz can't get enough of it

My Cosa Nostra boys, and their 45 toys
You wanna bust on AC Roma?
We'll bring some motherfuckin' noise

Used to be the Minister, Prime
My turf is shaped like a boot
And soon enough in time
I'm taking over from m00t

But yo until such time
We'll keep 4chan just the same-a
And this concludes the rhyme
Of MC Massimo D'Alema

Sup i'm P.B. and i will Rape you all
the girls are mine whether short or tall
W.T got nothing on me
i be doing them all the way up in NYC

EFG killed me the scummy jew
but i'm still kicking through and through
you think you're good but you know you ain't
b-r-b while i masturbate

12chan is the place to be
Cp there for all to see
Chris Hansen hasn't caught me yet
on the Chan's where i REPRESENT

This thread is truley awesome. Although some need to bear in mind that rap need rythym as well as rhyme.

I would trust a robot more then a wad of dried shit.

My life for Aiur, and for one of these about Anonymous!

I like this thread (bump)

to the top with ye

I BE CRUSHING THEM NIGGAS THAT BE GIVIN ME SASS
EMPEROR BLUBHEAD UP IN HERE, TO THE TOP OF THE CLASS
I KNOW YOU BE RESPECTIN YO RULER THROUGH ALL SPACE AND TIME
OR I BE PUTTIN YO ON AN INTERGALACTIC FIRING LINE
WAY BACK WHEN I BE ROCKIN THE SPAWNING POOL
NONE'A MY EGG PARTNERS BE MAKIN ME A FOOL
COZ I GOT THE SKILLS, THE SMARTS, THE POWER, THE PACE
THE ABILITY TO CONQUER THE UNIVERSE FO MY RACE
NOW I EVEN BE ROCKIN A MONOCLE, CHECK THIS TODAY
TAKIN UP A GENTLEMANLY ROLE IN THIS MO'FUGGIN R9K
THEM CRACKAS IN /B/ BE DIGGIN MY STYLE
BLUBHEAD BE THE BEST
THE BEST

THE BEST

THE BEST

THE BEST

THE BEST

THE BEST

THE BEST

THE BEST

THE BEST

THE BEST NIGGA THEY HEAR FOR A WHILE
BUT I AINT DOWN WITH THE REPETITION OF OLD STYLE
I BE HERE RIGHT NOW, MAKIN IT FRESH, AN' ALL THE WHILE
SUCKAS BE DRAGGIN ME DOWN, SAYIN YOU AINT SO TOUGH
NO EMPEROR? BITCH, MO' MAJESTY ENDS WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH
ALL YO' DOUBTIN MUTHAFUCKAS MAKE ME SICK
EMPEROR BLUBHEAD BE HERE, LINE UP AN' FELLATE MO' DICK

It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I keep from going under.

Off the strings bitch, off the hook too
Geppetto never imagined what this boy could do
Made of wood nigga, this boy can't feel pain
But he can bring it son, again and again
If I don't go to school I might turn into a donkey
If he messes around, I might cap a honky
Straight up nigga, this balla can't tell no lie
I got a wood heart and I make haters die
Blue fairy bitch telling me to behave
But if I turn into a real boy ya'll put me in my grave
Like Pac, nigga, I'll be a martyr for rap
Wooden pimp nigga, veins full of sap.

Hey, who's that, could it be a scientologist?
I'm his worse nightmare, call me anonymous
Power over nine thousand, I'm the scourge of the internet
Because I don't forgive, and I never forget
And if you think your shit is serious business
I got some bad news, nigga, you ain't gonna like dis
Just for the lulz, I might ruin your life
Well, your online shit, but it's the same for you types
Bawwwwing and bitching, keeping livejournals, jeez
Bitch you been laid out by the master of memes.
Is that your daughter? Shit, this is better than I planned
Me and my homey Pedobear, we'll never get v&.
Fox News calls me a cyber terrorist, I'm pervasive like Lolcats
Invisible and implacable, I believe in the law of gats
Law goes: Whose got the stones, and whose gun is bigger
And which brass-balled /b/tard has already pulled the trigger?
Blam-blam-blam!

Oh.

Wow.

Amazing.

>>489441
>>489442

What the hell, after nearly an hour of nothing, two posts at the exact same second?

Damn - why can't a balla get bizzay?
Why are bitches getting up in a tizzay?
Hey where are all the sluts in this hizzay?
Spread em girl, I wanna soak you in jizz-ay
Doug is here ladies but he's tired a waiting
So started today, Doug start's TAKING!
All the hos that blue-balled me
I am gonna start calling
Invite myself over
Give them a good balling
Whether they like it not!
Whether they beg or scream stop!
Doug's showing the ladies
How he rocks the cock!

>>488397
>>488399

You've made it better

>>486596
Fuck, win.

P.S. Fuck you, Robot.

>>488311

hahaha 0h w0w

Montag:
The name is Montag, fireman by trade
Burning books, son, that's how I get paid
Welcome to the inferno, the fire never goes out
But all of a sudden, I'm feeling some doubt

It's like, what the hell are we burning books for?
Reading Shakespeare's hardly an act of war
Literature, science fiction, history and philosophy
Supression in a free society is quite a dichotomy

Beatty:
Montag, you fool, must we do this?
Can't you keep your mind shut, just get through this?
I been where you are, almost didn't come back
I'm telling you now, that you don't know jack
We're burning books because they don't contain knowledge
Just conflicting philosophies, questions with no way to solve 'em
Think you need a book son, to tell you what's what?
That just ain't so, you know it in your gut.

Montag:
They came for the books, but I wasn't a book
And they made em illegal, and I ain't a crook
But today I brought one home, couldn't help myself
And it pried my third eye open, knowledge is wealth
Now the house is burning and the mechanical hound's on my trail
I'm to be eliminated, no warrant no jury no jail
The wife turned me in, the dumb little bitch
But I got a flamethrower, finger on the switch.

Beatty:
Montag, it's too late son, no reason to fight this
You and I were set on this road, I don't doubt it
Shall we debate the respective merits
Of dead men and poets, sticks versus carrots?
You think you're the first man to doubt the path?
Shit nigger, don't make me laugh
I've burned a thousand men like you, I don't lose sleep
And when you're gone we'll bury you de- AAAUGH!

Montag:
Oh snap, did my flames interrupt your soliloquoy?
Burned you alive, dag, wasn't that silly of me?
If you were better read then you wouldn't need a coroner
Dumbass, you never trap a rat in a corner
Send on the hounds, you cunts, there's no stopping me
A open mind and a ready fist, shit no topping me
One of your own, but out of the fold
Head full of knowledge, I remember Rome
The empire declined, the empire fell
All things must pass, shit can't you tell?
You can't burn truth, can't put it in a cell

Censor a whisper and you make it a yell.

>>489845
>>489839
>>489835
>>489831
>>489827
oh my god i love you and your skillz

May this thread live forever....

nigger music is fucking lame.

this thread has everything. /r9k/ = mad skillz

>>487873
What's that? You say that I'm spider-man rip-off?
I'm gonna blow up your house, your girl gave me the tip-off
I'm Deadpool, you idiots, coolest bastard in graphic novels
Make that mistake again I'll leave you bleeding and hobbled
I've got more guns than Eve has grandsons
More skill
More style
More ill
More bile
Shit nigga? Is that a DC comics poster?
Give me a second to pull my uzi from its holster
I'm bad business kids, a walking disaster
Homicidal lunatic with a healing factor
Cable's like the second coming, but he can't keep me in line
Wisecracking, shit-talking, hands on my nines
Step to me, or even near me, nigga you fall
I don't even show respect for the fucking fourth wall!

FUKKEN SAVED THlS!

soup, /r9k/
I'm gonna ruin your day

(aww hellll no)

here I am, sittin, makin win into fail
You can try to stop me, but to - no - avail
I'm drawn so fast you can't do shit but just stare
when I show up you'll surely despair
you know your threads gonna crash
hell I don't gotta talk trash
I just need to stop by
because you know I'm the Guy

(oh shi)

Now I'll just slip on my mask
gonna complete the task
The harbinger of lose
I'm everything you refuse
Here I am, here I stand
To fuck up your thread!!!!

>>489926

Alright, alright, man. Our boy came out here and gave us what he got. Even if he illin the rhymes our boy still got mad flava.

Hey, it's Raskolnikov, superhuman dissident
I just beat two women to death, never repent!
Killing ain't a crime to me, the law don't apply
That's for the lesser men, which I ain't, guy
But now, oh shit, I think everyone's aware
My hands are bloody, look how them cops stare
Morally inculpable but they'll still put me in the slammer
Just because I stave heads in with a muthafucking hammer.
But I confess, I didn't mean to put them both on ice
Just the pawn-broker, I'm sure that sister was nice
The thing is she caught me red-handed, nothing could be done
And now they'll put in the gaol and I'll never see the sun.

You ain't heard shit from the kings of Wall Street
Till you've heard me and my posse keepin' the beat
Take your asses and sit them down into your tuffet
And hear the mad rhymes by your boy Warren Buffet

So you think Bill Gates got any green with his business?
I look at his worth, and say "what the fuck is this?"
Ain't you heard the news busta? I'm above him in G's
Got the bitches all moanin' and asking me please
I'm the top nigga at investin in stock
And it's got all the bitches fightin' over my cock

Have you ever heard of Geico or Fruit of the Loom?
Yeah I'm the boss of all the shit you consume
If your car is insured or your girl's sportin panties
You owe part of your check and bitch's hole to me
Or if you're suckin' on frosties and dilly bars
Then in a weird way you're paying for one of my cars

I live by the gat and I stay on the edge
And my margin of safety is less than a wedge
I be throwin my G's to all of my homies
And hope they returnin' more of it to me
Some pussy ass niggas will tell you to wait
And that savin' your cash is the option that's great
But I like to live a life riskin' by debt
And have my fortune hang over the edge by a thread

So just be keepin your space and we'll all stay chill
You don't wanna see me all fixin' to ill
Cause I'll buy out your bitch and your whole neighborhood
Your credit ain't shit except balsawood
But if you be chill then we all be good
As long as your place is understood

Do Rick James bitches
and I will love you forever

>>490123
Raskol! Raskol! Is you a fucking rascal?
Come Underground, kid, lest you found you took your last fall!
I am a sick man. I am an angry man.
My liver got the shivers but I live free like Desperate Dan.
Nietzsche needs a shave, but hear knave,
we gave the stave to human slaves
To emotion, devotion, religion's lies in motion
Workin' in the ant heap? I'd prefer a brown potion!
Lemme tell you a tale, whether fable or fact,
2 + 2 is 4? I ain't hearin' that.
Snubbed by middle-aged schoolboys like a fool's toy or a Jew hoi
Teachin' hoes in the snow
Keep they ego on the down low
I stayed and I waited I anticipated fate'd
Spare me the shame of ill-got fame
But my ego ain't tame, too vain
To claim liberty, I acted lame like Chocolate Rain
Spend my last roubles on the fool's gold
Jackets, hats, beavers, fat bling and I could hold
The candle to my Double, but that's a troubled tale
Keepin' back on track, my vain moves failed
Poor, weak and shameful, I can't even say my name for
Embarrassed sweat, tears, get fears in different game's or
Know the meaning of weakness, carin' what bitches think
That's our link, Ras, we both drink from pride and wear mink
I learned, I lost, I longed, time to live free of the ants' mound
Kill your pride, and so say "Long live the Underground!"

Hey ya Hume followers
I'd like to school all of ya
When I lay down my Five Ways
Bricks were shat
Did y'al empiricists make people shake like that?

When I lay down my doctrine
Scholastics flock to me
Adorin', I'm the unrapper rapper.
When I fuck ya with my Summa
D'ya go cryin' home to momma?

That's right.
St Tom's back in the hood with a cry of FIGHT!

We take a rhyme each, record it, make the biggest stupidest rap album ever to be released on the internet.

PROPANE IN THE MEMBRANE
PROPANE IN THE BRAIN
PROPANE IN THE MEMBRANE
PROPANE IN THE BRAIN
CRAZY INSANE
I DO PROPANE

>>490297

I'm afraid that I learned the heavy cost of my vanity
Foolish, presuming I stood outside humanity
Or was it above, standing over all?
Must have been, to account for the fall
But they clamped me in irons and brought me to cell
And I realized it was heaven, rather than hell
In Petersburg I was lost, drowned by the noise
In prison I recovered the last of my poise
I discovered that I am a man, no less and no more
And when I get out, I'll marry my whore.

We're no strangers -
-no strangers to what?
No fuckin' strangers to love, that's what.
Those rules? Sure I know 'em -
Committment that's full.
Should any other guy try and give them to ya
Ah'd bust a cap in the fool.

I don't tell I command
Fuck your ears with my feelin's right at full force
Ya betta be listenin', understandin'
These words they're comin' at ya straight from the source

Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

>>490412
Is there meanin' in your dreamin'?
Might as well ask your fuckin' semen!
As for reason, fuck, it's treason
To the free will of the free men.
Never been a man of prayer but I dare
Say that there's a layer of spirit
'Neath bones like prison bars
Look far and see the dark
Of existence and our distance
From truth, tests faith like Tristan's
Life is like a dream and like waking eyes we'll be dead,
Of being and nothingness what more can be said?
Look into the heart, Raskol, Ivan, Anonymous
The ominous dark in us
Clouds any eyeful lust.


Fyodor Dostoevsky: Scholar, muse, rapper.

>>490461

I heard that Hemingway was bitterly jealous of Dostoevsky's flow, and that was the first recorded instance of the East Hemisphere - West Hemisphere rivalry that's plagued the Lit-Hop subculture.

>>490492
It provides us with quality diss raps, though, so who are we to complain, amirite?

It has to be said. This is the greatest thread of our Age.

yo bitches, this is da muthafucking FUHRER
ya'll know me, big boss of the NSDAP
thought I was dead? though I was gone?
Im back yo, ready for world war III
soon you mofos, Ill be king of da world
rulin' from the palace I've built
all this time I was on a nazi COLONY
workin' on my aryan super ARMY
Now its finished, and now its TIME
you filthy jews, I'll rip out your SPINE
peace!

The nature of man,
Ass-nasty, brutish, short
Humankind's a niggardly sort
So if man as an animal desires to proceed
Fuck all your anarchy, a state's what we need
A hegemon sits at the top of the land
Dictatin', relatin' the law to the situation at hand
Plato's Republic, all fine and dandy
But Philosopher Kings? That shit ain't handy
The colour of your soul don't give you your jobs
Smell y'all later, plebs, 'cause I'm Thomas Hobbes

>>490644

You little bitch, can't believe you've got the gall
To bring your little ass into Winston's hall
This is my territory, son, bought with ryhme
Don't come into my house slinging hate crime
Oh no son, it's too late to back down
You made the mistake of rolling to Churchhill town
Now here's my edict, here's my vow
Defiance forever motherfucker, never back down
I'll fight you on beaches, landing grounds and fields
Streets and hills, busta, I'll never yield
Surrender's a word that I ain't never learned
I'll pop a cap in you for every Jew you burned.

>>490644
Comparin' our rhymes is like comparin' our mustaches
Workers of the world, unite and fight in thrashes
A Judas Jesus-jabber Jew like Adolf Hitler?
Some leader, fuck, it's cheaper to vote a schizo killer!

The tide of the people's will will not abate
We'll bend your ass like Eva's and pound your prostate.
A red sea you'll see between your legs when we hump
Like the Jews, Commies, bitches once a month

Fuck with one red, two more will rise
So keep your Mein Kampf bullshit behind your beetle eyes.

>>486583
You there. You are now Anon's scribe and voice - you and your band must create an album using these lyrics. Post on rapidshit when you're done. Incidentally rap beats are drums and bass for rhythm + samples and synth melodies.

>>490644

Mein Fuhrer, wassup dog, didn't know you was with us
Can you believe these kike-lovers trying to step up and diss us?
World War 3 niggas, you think you ready?
Chop Jews up, eat them in my spaghetti.
Oh dag, what's that, hate crime ain't PC?
I'm fucking Goebbels bitch, think that matters to me?
I rock propaganda like Buddhists nirvana
I don't take no slanda, don't read my Miranda
Unstoppable Goebbels, SS nigga fo' life
Smoking Jews like cigarettes, sultan of strife
This time we ain't playing dogs, no drawn out fight
Just our specialty - jackboots in the night
You won't know you're in danger until you feel the knife
And then when I'm done with you, get your kids and your wife
Rip out they fillings, steal all they jewelry
That's what you get nigga, supporting jewery
Zionists take notice, we ain't gonna quit
The Fuhrer and Goebbels, baby - the absolute shit.

A vision of God, a pink beam of light
One afternoon I had a terrible fright
Sitting 'round lazy, reading a book
When angels appear, oh man, the earth shook
Celestial sights, a message they gave
A warning of trouble, problems most grave
My son, oh they said, could soon be dead
A knot in his gut, a tear did I shed
And then they were gone, and my wife I did tell
And straight to the hospital, moved by the spell
Pink beam of light, saved him from strife
VALIS, your warning gave my son life.

Steinbeck here, got something to say
Relating wisdom I learned back in the day.
Let me tell you a think or two about charity,
That I discovered in a moment of clarity
That shit burns a man, leaves a stain that don't come out
Cuts him up inside, fills him with doubt.
In addition I've learned, a man can't live on his own
He needs someone, anyone, a companion on the road
As some other playa said, no man is an island,
The bell tolls for thee, homeboy, don't you see?
That's straight up wisdom from my homeboy Donne
And here's some other shit you can rebuild your life on
You don't take a trip, a trip takes you
You can't raise rabbits if you're a retard fool
In the heart of the disenfranchised, grapes of wrath grow
When you belittle your brother, those seeds you sow
A man ain't perfect but he's able to work at it
If you don't believe in perfectibility, your words ain't worth dick
If you find yourself in rouble, don't beseech the rich man
It's the poor boy who'll save you, or do the best that he can
Because he knows how it feels at the bottom of a well
Knows that salvation looks a lot like hell.
You can find a lot of pain, when the rain starts falling
Close your eyes, dream of raisin' rabbits when the reaper comes callin'.

>>490700
>>490707
yo fools, what ya trippin' on ME?
Dont make me gas your asses with ZYKLON B
this time i'll smack you bitches up
No americans to cover your BACK,
they're all stuck in IRAQ,
meanwhile I'm pimpin' Eva BRAUN
that's one more bitch,
then you'll ever get DOWN
yeah this nigga is fuckin' INVINCIBLE
i'll your little ass back to yo mama's BROTHEL

You dumb shit, You more than exemplify
The perfect definition of an epic fail guy
It turns out you don't only fail at warring
You can't rap son, that shit is boring!
You wanna go back to Germany, post haste
Before Winston gets licquored up, and rearranges ya face
Eva Braun ain't a girl to brag about, girl's quite plain
Only pussy you can pull in, shit that's insane
Winston's got bitches every corner of Britain
Every slut walks by gets wet and smitten
And I don't need America to fight my battle
I slaughter Nazi's like mad cow cattle
This time, just for kicks, I'm coming alone with my gat
One man against your war machine, how fucked is that?
When I'm done with you bitches (it'll take an hour, I figures)
Just for lulz, I'ma give Germany to the niggers.

>>490251

Yo yo. So a bitch named Buffet thinks he's the king of wallstreet. Well wait till he gets a fucking load of me and my rhymes. We kick it old school Bronx style here bitches. Welcome to MY crib.

I'm Carl Fucking Icahn and as you can see
Fucking Warren Buffet ain't got shit on me
He invests like a bitch, his pussy antics make me hurl
A value investor? Fuck that, your a little girl
Move over for the big bad boys
Rockin CEOs worlds, making some noise
I'll take their parachutes and use the golden cords to strangle them
Put the fear of ME in the board, they don't want me raiding em
Guys like Buffet are a dime a dozen
Never taking risk and their profits are frozen
Like an equity Van Helsing I drive a stake into the heart
An investment necromancer, I practice my dark art
I make em rise from the dead, just watch this shit start
Advocating share value is what sets me apart
A motherfucking black hat raider straight out of hell
My PHD in philosophy serves me quite well
I'm an ex-poker player son I read through you like a bad book
You fucked up your company you ain't getting off the hook
Motorola is the target and I just got 2 on the board
You be lookin back later as their profits soared
SEC changed the rules but I still rule the game
Greenmailing in the 80s gave me my claim to fame
The more shit changes, the more shit stays the same
Ask around at the hedge funds, they all know my name
Like yeast in the oven I make stocks rise
Executives be sweating when they look in mah eyes
As they walk down the halls they see paintings on the walls
Of battles and soldiers, then I cut off they balls
Then after heads roll, the stock goes on a rout
"Icahn, what happened?" Bitch, I already cashed out
Suckas late to the dance lose their asses and off it
Suicide for them, for me its STEP 3: PROFIT!

Who can? Carl Icahn can
Who dat? Carl Icahn I am
True dat. The master of the scam.
Whud he say his name was?
CARL ICAHN

Listen up you basement dwellers
I'm the maddest fuckin fella
in all of Drumheller
working as a model for a Tshirt seller,
That's up in Canada you fags,
y'know, where milk comes in bags.
While you wastin' your lives jackin' off to filthy porno mags,
I got a job with the dinosaurs,
biggest claws you ever saw
smaller than my biceps though
I couldn't get them ripped much more


You fuckers tried to make a meme of me,
well you ain't ever seen me
when I'm ragin' and pumped -
I'll rip your fuckin' head off and
leave nothing but a bloodied stump.

When I've knocked you off the block
your family be in shock
wishing that you never claimed
That I ever tried to suck a cock.

Don't even fake like you said
I was Grinman - you're still dead.
Even saying Dinodude will mean I'm twisting off your head.
Look into my eyes, I killed a hundred guys.
Didn't even blink, when they tried to think
they'd ever pull off those lies.


So you better refrain
from ruining my rep or my name
cos if you step in the frame
you'll find out why they named that .jpeg insane

>>491153
oh shi-
i'm never posting richard c. m.'s pic again

Queen of porcelain, you dream to force it in,
To my doll-joint ass,
Fast like Rask' axed some bitch at Inn.
Wanna get hot in my box? A paradox.
I sip tea while you're itchin' to hit this hitchin' bitch.

Kun-Kun, detective, get me wetter than human sexes,
I'd drill a hole to hear you moan, what's a dog without his bone?
Just like with Daddy I'll lick your dick, melt like a candle wick,
Master, you bark, I'll whimper like a lark,
A nightingale, time will stop, rough air we inhale,
I lick your tail, my cheeks turn pale, I tremble like a flower,
But there's no dancing when we grind, in my mind,
Kun-Kun we - Jun! You listened? You goon!
I'm hot like Dune soon, beneath this moon,
I'll need to feel a boon
In certain places, look Jun, your face is
Red as a beetroot - you want my bloomer-loot?
Let me taste your sweet juice from your meat hook...

Stone cold gangsta, troublemaker since birth
Tentacles on my detonator, bitches here's Squidworth
Rolling out of Bikini Bottom, looking for trouble
If I roll by your crib I won't leave nothing but rubble
What, you laughing? You think that I'm joking?
The only thing I love is the sound of explosives
The smell of napalm in the morning is better than sex
I don't cock a glock, I just wrap haters in semtex
You want more? I got C4
Scared, right? How bout my dynamite
Bitches don't know about my mad pyromania
Terrorize ya block like Drac in Transylvania
When my bombs pop-pop,
it'll feel like your heart stop
And when I'm not dropping bombs
I must be laying out cops
Squidworth, son, straight outta the water
Turn your cities to slag, get off on the slaughter
If you stand in my path, if you think you can scrag me
I'll hop in my jet bitch, and re-enact Nagasaki.

>>490840
Master race? Your pace maced your own face.
Call that a rap? You're trapped in crap, feet bound by the lace.
If this is a race, Kafka's takin' first place,
Did Mein Kampf metamorphose from the waste of a nutcase?
You can't even speak German, let alone lead them,
Touch my peeps, I'll make like Moses, I hope you don't need thumbs.
Oh that's right, you don't write, you dictate to a scribe
Is he a Hitler Youth, ass tight, you got some shota vibes?
You can't step to a Jew, your little rants are tame
Here come the Ruskies - you just lost the game.

Back in the hood where I was born an raised
Crazy shit was up, it was the end of days
Some self rightous old men in their stuffy suits
Thought all of mankind should get back to its roots
They woke up an angel, and because of this act
The stupid motherfuckers caused the second impact
That was when things started to get hot
Angels started comin' whether I liked it or not
And my dumb-ass pops who had thrown me out the door
yells "get your ass in here, you whiny little whore"
Now I wasn't down with that, and so I tells him my mind
So the bastard guilt-trips me intill I move my behind
I get in the cockpit of this giant purple suit
And I can't barely move the damn thing's fucking foot
This giant thing they call an angel is all up in my grill
And they had forgotten to teach me that "piloting" skill
I fell on my face and then my lights went out
But when I awoke, Sachiel was dead without a doubt
After that I killed one angel right after another
Then found out that this robot was actually my mother
Met some gay angel guy and a trio of bitches
All of whom wanted to get in my britches
I'm whiny, I'm emo, I'm oblivious too
But in the end comes the end and I knew just what to do
I tried with a psyche full of sanity rips
To wait out the biblical apocalypse
Now it's just this redhead an me on the shore by the sea
Adam and Eve, Let's rebuild humanity (sexy time!)

BOOM!
Here come the Reds! Cleaning brains - Kafka dropped bombs on your fuckin' heads!
The greater good from the hood, Commies know how to kick it,
Wet ya with a collective dick, my iron boot - lick it.
Aryans ruling Russia? Don't make me fucking laugh.
Nords can't even hold their liquor - how you hold up against gas?
Winnie lubed your tube with his Capitalist style
But the Left'll tape ya, rape ya till ya screamin' "SEIG HEIL"!
You front on Stalingrad? You know why it's called that?
I filled every bitch with semen till the whole city was fat,
Then pounded their mass ass till each bitch got slimmer,
Like I school you on rap, I schooled George fuckin' Zimmer.
Can your pointy helmets repel an Iron Fist?
Pound your Deutsch ass to a pulpy mist.
Put your bitch ass to sleep with a Red Blanket bombing,
Fire and blood from West to East, a Red day is dawning.
Workers of the world unite, it's time to fight,
Only one race survives tonight.
Let FDR fight the Gundams, the Reich's ears are humming,
Blood is in the air - Russia is coming!

you guys are so bad it's embarrassing

>>491412
Newfag doesn't know shit about dope rhymes. Care to do better?

>>491430
no, I know that my skills lie elsewhere, and endeavor to not make an ass out of myself by doing things I know I am terrible at.

>>491412

lol fag thinks rap can be good

>>491492
Try anyways. You never know... You might dicover a new talent.

>>491412

Thanks dog. In hip-hop argot, 'bad' is a high form of praise indeed.

Damn, do I hate Mondays

Mondays, homey, gah - can't stand 'em
God musta been drinking when he planned 'em
Bullshit day, nigga don't eva deny it
How the shit will this cat ever get by it?
Monday, shit, worst day of the week
Worse than the world after it's inherited by the meek
Worse than Germany in '39 for my Jewish brothas
Worse than Iran is for unwed mothers
Monday, fuck it, DO NOT WANT
I'd rather have a girl with centipedes in her cunt
Rather be bludgeoned from Tuesday to Sunday
Than put up with a motherfucking, shit-suck Monday.
Fo sho.

Hey, these are some really fine rhymes
Think I might adapt them, commit literature crimes
I could write nine books with this shit that you pumped out
Terry Goodkind bitches, plagiarist of the year no doubt.
All I gotta do is add in some Objectivist dogma
To your fresh flow, be back soon, holla.

Oh no you didn't you sack fulla dicks
Been ripping me off like Dennis Leary robbin' Hicks
You little bitch don't you know who I am?
Robert fucking Jordan son do you understand?
You play fast and loose and you rip off my books
Now you roll into town with some busted-ass hooks
I'm after you douchebag
you'll never be safe
You pissed me off so much that I rose from my grave
To put the hurtin on you like magic
Ayn Rand loving motherfucker
this is gonna be tragic.

Chomsky in the house, this is 'bout to get silly.
I've got Jewish heritage, but I'm anti Israeli.
some niggas be hatin, they callin me crazy
but the workers be loving it, so that shit doesn't faze me.

You know why that establishment be gettin so pissed?
its cause I preach the word for the masses to resist.
I'll always persist, never cease and desist, i wont be dismissed
oppose all forms of coercion, cause I'm an anarcho-syndicalist.

I'm callin out america on its aggression and lies
this shit isn't new, goes back to the Treaty of Versailles.
The bank accounts of the wealthy only grow in size.
we can change these systems, just arise..... and open yo eyes.

(just open yo eyeeeeeeees)

C'mon y'all we can take back this nation
just tell people what I say, give them an education.
point out the agenda of the bush administration
and i assure you, with freedom there will be a direct correlation.

peace comrades.

/r/ing SPARTA with Leonidus?

>>491656
why do you have a question mark there? are you unsure if you are actually requesting something?

Spartans baby, the masters of war
That includes rap battles, if you weren't sure
Leonidas, son, toughest bastard in history
Laying out Persians, my pain ministry
With your shield or on it, that's Spartan code
So come at me with gats, take time and reload
Sword, spear, shield, son that's all I need
Not a bastard alive that I can't make bleed
Ascetic warrior caste
Redecorating your face
Decimating your race
Putting you in your place
Gather an army a millions and spend all ya money
All I need to obliterate you is my three hunny.
We don't take prisoners, don't spare any innocents
Don't step to us, don't threaten our independence
Ethical treatment? POWs? Magna Carta?
Fuck that shit son, THIS IS SPARTA!

here i am, meme lover, steroid hacker, /b/tard
toasting in an epic bread, and hatin on furfag retards
if you dont like my shit, gb2gaia.
i'll get my personal army, to kill it with fire
so buy a dog ,and hide the van
before Faux news comes, and i get b&
GTFO, or post your TITS
EFG failed again, and i liek mudkipz
newfags are cancer, and i've fucking had it
become an hero, i said DO IT FAGGOT!
its friday man, post some F40PH!
post some tits, with a one-digit age!
the game, you just lost!
delicious cake, you must eat it!
yo, whats that? i got a co-host!
this last lines from Snacks:

USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST

>>491730
this was win.

>>491664
Yes, you're right. I thought it might actually be a terrible idea, so I now withdraw the /r/. At the very least I could have attempted to construct a rap myself. I see now that in /r9k/ we don't childishly expect others to provide our entertainment. We are self-reliant Gentleman who hew the lulz from the very rock of the Internet itself. Thank you for helping me see the error of my ways.

>>491730

I'm sorry I am too late in causing you unnecessary effort.

>>491755
i can't tell if you are being sarcastic or not, but now you know not to slap question marks on statements!

I have already posted a few, so may I humbly request a Gary Oak?

>>491748
Well done, my friend. You beat me to it.

>>491649

You call yourself an anarchist?
Bitch don't make me laugh
Anarcho-primivism, baby
Back to the past
Your shit is contradictory, as whack as your flow
You're just a reformist, shouting anarchy for show
Homes, you can't ride on the anarchist boat
You endorsed Kerry - anarchists don't vote!

>>491819
damn somebody done got told

bitch i'm a shark
i live in the ocean
i bite your legs when you make
swimming motions

your blood in the water
your body is flimsy
attracts my shark brethren
for a feeding frenzy

don't even try to fight back
you can't leave a mark
just suck my dick, nigga
cause i'm a shark!

>>491848

Oi, look at 'im, ain't he a beaut?
I must say sharky, you look hella cute
I think I'll swim wit'cha, you won't eat this mammalian
Now you're on tv getting fondled by an Australian
Well that was fun, it's been quite a day.
Hey look over there, is that a stingray?

Clash! came the fall of the last,
tsarist regime coming down fast.
no Romanov pig to discuss this past,
cuz' Strannik here lays it down en mass.
and should you disagree with the flow of my path,
i feel you may meet with ambiguous wrath.

>>491868
Sonofadamnit. This pic should have accompanied the rap.

>>491819
Bitch, now listen up

Now let me tell you a thing about progress
its something yo bitch ass cant handle, but i digress.
I'm establishin an ethical culture in the U.S
and i gotta say anarcho-primitivism us USELESS!

I'm tryin to go forward baby, and your goin back.
I'm stoppin imperialist endeavors , I'm on the attack
I'm makin political progress off the beaten track.
what do you do? run into the woods and unpack.

a stateless society can have factories too
I'm serious about Anarchy, so don't say shit thats untrue.
in fact i demand that that comment be withdrew.
and while you are here, I recommend some shampoo.

>>491748
What the fuck is this shit nigger,
My massive rage just made my e-penis bigger,
Mother fucker, do you even know the definition of rap?
The answer, you Jew kike, is what you did; crap,
But seriously you fucker, go try a second time,
And this time, make your fucking words rhyme,
Trying to rhyme gaia and fire, what the fucking hell,
Tryin' to pile it full of memes, just throw out your shitty Dell,
Go lurk the fuck more you fucking jew,
Seriously, god damn, I really hate you,
Gather your shit and get the fuck back to /b/,
Just keep your ass over there fappin' to CP,
Fuck, I'll bet your desensitization is pretty tame,
And one last thing, you just lost the game.

>>491868
go right ahead
mess with dat stingray
but first tell your wifey
to look away

how you be so stupid
to do what you did
nigga how you wife gonna explain
this shit to your kids

that stingray is my nigga
bitch you better dread
my nigga just shanked you
and now your dead

>>491879

You wanna talk progress, well I wanna talk process
A pro-factories anarchist, shit makes me nauseous
Imperialism fell long before you entered the race
There's a whole new jackboot stamping on the face
You wanna revolutionize workers, anarcho-syndicalist?
But that keeps them working, what kinda bullshit is this?
And where the fuck do you get off
Telling mothafuckas to keep they job
Seems to me that you don't do hard labor for your goods
If you did, maybe you'd see why I took to the woods
Reformist motherfucker, the system is FUBAR
Pretending to fix it is just blowing hot air
But I guess that's just par for the course
You get rich off your books and lecture tours
Change the world? What the hell does that mean?
Just keep talking and collecting tha green.
You make a pretense outta defense
Call capitalists demons
But at the end of the day,
you're right with em scheming.

Shit, this is fantastic. Anyone want to do George Gordon, 1st Baron Byron?

I've got no identity, no morals or belief,
My only goal is to cause internet grief,
So you got an abortion when you were fifteen years old?
So god damned fat you can hide a cheese burger in your chin fold?
Daddy doesn't know you're secretly gay?
I'll find your weakness and hammer away,
I'll study your personality so there's nothing I'll miss,
After all, the internet is Serious fucking Business,
When you respond I'll metaphorically fuck your every hole,
Haven't you figured it out yet, don't feed the fucking troll.

Yo I'm Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC
I be up in you shit, vgettin you v& for CP
You better watch yoself when you meet that little girl
I'll be up in yo grill, makin you hurl.

If you hear me say "Have a seat over there"
You better not run like some nigga pedobear
When ya get your rocks off talking to some cute loli
It's PJ and me behind the keyboard, prolly.

Don't even tell me that your visit was platonic
I'll sit back and chuckle, sippin' on my gin and tonic.
You can tell me you thought she was eighteen
But your comments in this chat log don't leave nothing in between.

You told some twelve-year-old girl about your dick,
guess what nigga, these charges gonna stick.
You'll have your faggot face posted all over TV,
God damn, sometimes I love to be me.

CRAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLING INNNNNNNNNNNNNN MEIN KAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPF
THESE JEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWS THEY WILLLLLLLLLLL NOT HEILLLLLLLLLLLL

CRAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLING INNNNNNNNNNNNNN MEIN KAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPF
THESE JEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWS ZEY VILLLLLLLLLLL NOT HEILLLLLLLLLLLL

>>485038
You say you hate robots, well that ain't cool
You best check yo' tongue when you around me, fool
With superhuman strength and my genius intellect
I won't be hearing no human disrespect
But there's one thing I need so I can cause you more strife
My clock is ticking and I need more life
Tyrell my creator didn't do a thing
So I fucked up Deckard hoping that would bring
a little satisfaction to my weary brain
But all these moments will be lost like tears in rain
What's that son, you say my beats ain't fly?
Wake up, bitch, it's time to die!

>>492020

Is that what you think, you think Chomsky's a savior?
Think you above the game, a vigilante playa?
You crazy boy, you really something
Sound like you believe this, like you ain't even fronting.
Let me break it down for your crazy old ass
Society's a window made of shit-stained glass
The only reason we working is somebody says
"Oh son, you want what that other guy has"
The product of you labor is just the sweat on ya brow-ah
An endless circle-jerk to benefit those in powah
You work and you sweat and you bleed for the machine
And the only beneficiary is some dick that you never seen
Bring the money to ground level, shit you fantasizing
Work till you die, your replacement does the eulogizing
You can't change the system from within
In there you're just a cog or a lynch-pin
You wanna live free, feel the sun on yo face?
Wanna share prosperity with the whole human race?
We had it, we lost it, people like you threw it away
It's back in the woods, son, maybe you'll see that someday.

I Come down from atlanta
kinda got a gay dick
but if you needs you some cookin
no further must you lick
than on your telly screen
or even find me with computer
i be cookin up a big old storm
buy shit from Q the cooter

if you ever wanted to learn just
how to make some rice
well look it up and you will find
that i'm the best; i'm nice.
from salmon and the sandwich
to that favourite show of mine,
making cookies with my nephew
little alton, kid is fine.

(not op, unedited, this is how i flow)

>>492044

Yo Roy, you think you so fly?
Nexus Six my ass, you're just a pussy little guy.
I'm gonna hunt you down and git yo ass
Even if I do come off a bit crass.

There could be a question as to how I'm aligned
Since my bitch Rachel is one of your kind.
Hold up woman, what's that you say?
Have I ever submitted myself to VK?

Roy, you're fucked like a bitch in porn
I'll hunt you down, findin Olmos' unicorn.
Be prepared for this flash of ligthing and thunder
Looks like you've fucked with the wrong Blade Runner.

Oh shit, Roy, you're tougher than I thought,
I'm having more trouble with you than I ought
Your companions were easy, went down like moist cheese
But with you I can't say that we'll resolve this with ease.

Damn, Roy, why you pull me up from that fall?
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe the bad part's not all.
Olmos is saying...maybe I'm a replicant?
I don't give a fuck, Olmos is a stupid cunt.

You're talking to me 'bout Tennhauser Gate
Looks like your four years is up, no time to wait.
Gonna sit here with you, stay for a while
See if I can copy your existentialist style.

So I'm off running with my replicant bitch
Looks like I'm finally gonna get a hitch.
All this fighting in the rain leaves me fumin'
And wondering..."What does it really mean to be human?"

>>492054

An android thinks he's above the Admiral
Son you must be one brass-balled fool
A dumb little toaster with a time-bomb heart
Quit your smack-talk or Adama take you apart
I gotta Battlestar that can't be beat
Last of of humanity, still on their feet
Outgunned and outnumbered and you bitches can't beat us
I been cold-cocking robots since I was a fetus.
Go back to Deckard maybe he'll show some compassion
Because I'll fucking air-lock you if you step to my action
Here's something to drill into your little robot head
Admiral Adama son, he'll take you to the woodshed.

Yo, it's the coolest damn queer in the whole human race
My words they're a virus from the depths of space
Imma junkie who shot my fuckin wife in the face
Anyone gonna step to me in this place?
I was the #1 Beat in the NRA
Makin' Charlton Heston jealous, the fag jus wasn't gay
I got high and talked shit, and my family paid
(I was busy deconstructing language and it was easier that way)
For a life shootin guns, shootin dope and my load
In the US of A
And in sunny Tangiers
Where there ain't no laws
But there's plenty of queers.

I'm comin up in here to blow you away
Don't mess with me bitches, I'm clearly here to stay
I'll rip off your head and shit down your neck
You've got nothing on me pussy, you're a total wreck.

What are you? Some bottom-feeding, scum sucking algae eater?
You pussyfaggot can't beat my game, you're a god damn cheater
Hmm, don't have time to play with myself.
When I get you upset you'll just put me on the shelf.

It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum.
You pussy whipped faggots are lower than scum.
You're an inspiration for birth control.
This isn't just some babble from a sorry ass troll.

>>492054

please comrade don't get me started on feasibility.
you say that its impossible for men to work without hostility,
then you say runnin to the woods is a reasonable possibility?
its yo theory, its gotta have consistency, but that nigga is yo responsibility.

fact is nigga, people want things.
we just need to make them, without corporate kings.
we can still use faucets, don't need to drink out of springs.
sayin there aint no fruits of labor? that theory be thinner than strings.

we can be free, we can get what we deserve
tell me to run to the jungle? man do you have the nerve.
we CAN establish a society where its not overlords we serve.
but hey, if you disagree, go off to your nature preserve.

I see it my way, you see it yours.
but its my way that will bring peace to our shores
and stop these premiers who engage us in wars
rise workers! to the factories! not to the outdoors!

I only ever loved one bitch
they threw her body in a ditch
in Holland 1945
before I was even alive
and just before the war finished
but my love was not diminished
by the fact we never coexisted
her spirit haunts me, my heart's still twisted

so let's pack it up
and leave this place
to die with flies
upon our face

spinning round the Earth in limbo
on a comet's tail watch him go
your bro is dead and still yet somehow
from a distance he looks on now.

Momma slept here in this room
the bros released from momma's womb
the bed retains the prints of whom
went to the showers, sent to their doom.
Seems noone cared throughout the land,
And that I'll never understand.

>>492114

Aw Will, poor thing, weren't you told?
You been surpassed baby, silver to my gold
Hunter, son, straight up king of the counter-culture
Burroughs you just a crazy old demented vulture
Naked Lunch ain't shit up my oeuvre
You're back to the obscurity to you deserve
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, ask any stoner
99 out of a hundred, to Naked Lunch's one loner
You know what else, you silly old foo'?
I even managed to die cooler than you
The crazyiest of the crazy and you died in bed
Me? This hardcore homey put a shot in his head.

We got one honky bitchin from dat ivory tower
And the other tryna claim the jungle that's ours
Yo see everyone's a nigga to the people in power
But its our bullets not your books that'll claim the hour -
So step to the One True God Above, for Allah
Don't see no race, no colour,
So you devils don't needa be comin to no blows,
Just come to the mosque and bring dem fyne white hoez.

>>492093
I've been utterly outclassed. Bravo.

This is the single greatest thread ever.

The only girl I've ever loved
Was born with roses in her eyes
But then they buried her alive
One evening 1945
With just her sister at her side
And only weeks before the guns
All came and rained on everyone
Now she's a little boy in Spain
Playing pianos filled with flames
On empty rings around the sun
All sing to say my dream has come

But now we must pick up every piece
Of the life we used to love
Just to keep ourselves
At least enough to carry on

And now we ride the circus wheel
With your dark brother wrapped in white
Says it was good to be alive
But now he rides a comet's flame
And won't be coming back again
The Earth looks better from a star
That's right above from where you are
He didn't mean to make you cry
With sparks that ring and bullets fly
On empty rings around your heart
The world just screams and falls apart

But now we must pick up every piece
Of the life we used to love
Just to keep ourselves
At least enough to carry on

And here's where your mother sleeps
And here is the room where your brothers were born
Indentions in the sheets
Where their bodies once moved but don't move anymore
And it's so sad to see the world agree
That they'd rather see their faces fill with flies
All when I'd want to keep white roses in their eyes

>>492132

People want things, I admit that's so
But all they really need is some sleep and a ho
Food to lunch on and maybe time to socialize
Hunting life, son, teaches man to prioritize
Look at you, meat-eater, born to run
This body right here was made for the sun
The plains and the hills, and this is the crucible:
Homeys weren't born to live in a cubicle.
A cage that's gilded doesn't stop being a cage
A man living unnaturally will always have rage
Buried inside, maybe he don't even know it
But look at the newspapers, they show it
People fighting and dying around you, every side
Me and my nature boys be doing jus' fine.
And I ain't talking foreign, I'm talking domestic
Them streets is at war, that shit is so hectic.
Working man's an aberration, deep down he can tell
That's why his neighborhood is one of the circles of hell.

>>492093
I got no class, I'm a sorry little ass
Livin' all alone with my men made of brass,
Steel, skin and flesh, what a combination
Wait 'til I show Pris my machinations
Introverted habits are the name of my game
Engineering body parts's how I made my name
Then along came a boy, oh he called himself Roy
Took him to my boss man, he carried out his ploy
Tyrell's on the floor, the blood's all around
His eyes, oh his eyes, what a horrible sound
Dude, what the fuck? I thought we were friends
But all good things must come to an end
Your six-year lifespan's all that you need
You're taking my life to fuel your own greed
Roy, look around, you've made a mistake
Look what you've destroyed, you piece of shit fake

[SKIT]

MY MOMMA'S CRYING...
IF BLASTOISE WERE MY POPPA
HE'D BE ABLE TO STOP HER
GETTING BITCH SLAPPED BY THAT SUCKER
JOHNNY, HE BE HURTING IF HE TRIED IT, FUCKER.
THINGS WOULD BE SO DIFFERENT AROUND HERE...

Word, bitches

K. Snidez up in dis thread
Lookin sideways, big ol' head
Fuck y'all niggaz
Singin' till dead.

By Request Only, ain't no thang.
Cuz no one'll ever hear dis song I sang.
It's One-Nine-Seventy-Six
But y'all know I still mix,
Last four copies, on eBay.
150$, just cash no tricks.

Second Worst art of all,
K.S. smilin' at y'all.
Lookin' funny, sittin' tall
K. Snydz, no one's heard
By Request Only, not a word.

Uh-huh.

Dis Ken Snidez, takin' requests, y'all.
Thanks for comin', but I'm out.
G'night.

Can't you pigdisgusting Americans see?
Brother Malcolm is right, only by Allah you're free
Free from the Jews who ask for your toil
Who exchange the lives of your sons for their oil
Like rats who see the light of Islam and recoil
Democracy, Anarchy, it's degeneracy
You'll surrender to Afghan theocracy
Dar-al-Islam, 'one nation under God', hah!
No freedom for man til he recognizes Allah.

D Suzuki in the muthaphukkin place
and just wipe that sad look off your face
we gots to change this here planet wifout no delay
so just sit back and listen to all i gots ta say

fuck i swear and shit, i'm brown and i'm a gangsta
informin y'all on nature and things - makes me a pranksta
we rape the planet daily and that shit cannot continue
you knew about the problem today and tell me what did you do?

CREATE NEW NORMALS i say, and change it all around
the sky is falling, the earth is poisoned and, well pound-for-pound
you're a useless fucking punk-ass and i want to fuckin beat you
so don't be stepping up to me cuz i don't want to meet you

unless we meet on the deck of a research cruise of course
or maybe if we see each other out fucking corporate whores
stop all this pollution, yo, and check out some more nature
ah shit why's i'm on four-chan, wasting time on masturbaters?

(first picture got me muted and I'm too lazy to find another one)

P-O-L to tha P-O-T,
Ain't no niggas who can fuck with me
Known worldwide for the rims on my ride
And for the game's most infamous genocide

Fuck Hitler and Stalin, yo, check my profile
They got the numbers -- but I got the style
Tie you up in prison till you pissing and sweaty,
Take a photograph and hack you up with machetes

Cambodia, nigga, that's my ghetto scene
Where the killing fields are bloody and the weed is green
It's a paradise for the laboring masses
Where they cap your ass just for wearing glasses

So all you trife ass rappers best become an hero,
Pol Pot's on the mic and it's Year fucking Zero

You dipshits are all suffering,
while your video streams are all buffering,
I'm enjoying my awesome dinner,
cheese, pepperoni, artichoke, olive and ham is a winner!
So go back to your basements and cry,
There's no way to win, so don't try.
Unless you can rhyme with pizza.

>>492233

listen boy, there's one thing i aint gonna contest
for you, livin in the woods may be the best
but thats not what people want. that you need to digest.
we want to work honestly for our goods, without being oppressed

you talk about my biology like it means something now.
that shits been irrelevant since we invented the plough.
civilization doesn't always suck, thats your sacred cow.
for the workers i choose red, for the earth you choose brown.

foreign, domestic, its all the same thing son
a human is a human, we've all got rights to be won.
i'll stick to my activism, to the woods you can run.
but as far as I'm concerned, this rap battle is done.
there's no point in continuing, for a while it was fun.
but i cant change you, you cant change me, and the debate is overdone.

peace bro.

BLUT BLUT BLUT

D. Brown comin' at ya
Gonna mess with your mind
Cos I can hypnotise you bitch
Even in rhyme
Now I can see what you're thinking
Now you know there be no blinking
When I put a gun to my head
There's blanks in it, you've been misled
But don't worry folks, it wasn't up to me
Apparently you can't kill yourself on TV
So the motherfucking government's been roughing me up
But they should see the shit I can do closeup.
I can make them touch balls and proclaim that they're gay
And stuff their mouths with something I call cock buffet
The other week I made a lady stop on the street
And she was begging, she was pleading, she was kissing my feet
So I put her to sleep with a click of my fingers
And shot a load on her face with a stench that just lingers
You should see me on stage
You should come to my show
And if you don't I'll mindfuck you to give me a blow

MC BROWN HAS LEFT THE BUILDING MOTHERFUCKERS

>>492352
ohmigawd i wuv that guy

i didn't realize most other people were fans of him

GOOD GOD THE RHYMES ARE RAPING MY MIND

LET THIS THREAD LIVE

(Aiyyo, aiyyo, pass the mic Johnny Z, I gotta drop some shit)

Aiyyo it's Bob Black, the supreme relaxin'
Zerowork nigga, don't do nothin' taxin',
Now listen up here as I rob and mob,
'cause it's not anarchy if you still have a job

Chomsky you a bourgeois pussy ass jerk,
Yo, it's still coercion if you have to "work"
Sitting in a factory all day? Screw it!
If you say it's "necessary," why don't YO' ass do it?

And you Libertarian bitches, don't even get me started
Replacing the State with business? Shit's just retarded
As long as niggas slavin' in a nine-to-five
You know they still ain't really alive.

High tech or low it don't matter to me
As long as I can lay back with a big forty
And do what I want, when I want, but no more
And keep writing mad rhymes 'cause my game's hardcore

Some niggas say that my shit's the worst
Because I snitched on a nigga who fucked with me first
So don't mess with Bob Black, bitch, you might get scars
Remember how I took Bookchin out in eight bars?

>>491848
Yo I'mmah Dick I'mmah Dick I'mmah Dick
Love those little bitches with the pussy so slick
Bitch you bow down to me I am your master
Take me out and jerk it out, faster fa-faster

I ain't got much to say cause I'm too busy
Feelin good, jacking and shooting the jizzy
Don't you ever try to even give me snark
Yo I'mmah Dick I'mmah Dick Suck my Shark.

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

>>492383

Zerzan, Black you and i may have our differences
but i think we both can bash these nonsense words of his.
any rational person can take the fizz out of this
I'm tired of typing or i'd show how irrational it is.

i'm back y'all niggas
writin another rap
i'll give it to you straight
like i gave that bitch the clap

fried chicken is not the only thing i eat
i also cover white wimminz faces with my skeet
watermelons, and purple drank
martin luther king, nigga i won't thank

i live in the hood
the ghetto, mayne
weed, malt liquor,
I DO COCAINE!

you piss me off bitch
i'll gun you down
rape your wife, ruin your life
and make you frown

i'm the realest nigga in it
so don't be hatin'
you racist ass bitches
you better be OH FUCK!!!
OH MY GOD I GOT SHOT!!JESUS CHRIST IT HURTS DAWG! DON'T YOU SHOOT ME NIGGA!! I'LL KILL YO ASS YOU BI-

Check who just stepped to the mic, it's the the policeman's bane
That rough-riding motherfucking, big bad Andy Dufresne
I been to the big house, and I won't go back there again
Po-po come looking for this boy, they best be ready for pain
I was straight up framed, this sucka was innocent
But I couldn't prove it, so to the cell I went
Did I do my time? Shit no son, not me
I used spoons and shit and I dug my way free.
That's determination, like you can't imagine
You know how long it took, how many things coulda happened?
I coulda been caught, had years added to my term
But now I'm on the streets making lesser men squirm
Whatever you do, don't get on my bad side
Diligent as fuck, not a tougher bastard alive.
On the run from the lawman, and I don't even worry
Fuck around son, and I won't even hurry
Nah, I'll take my time and I'll use this mind
Imagine every scenario that ends wit' breaking your spine
And the years will roll by, and you'll think your gold
Then Andy Dufresne jumps you and you never get old.
Put you in a pine-box, tombstone left blank
Andy Dufresne boy, straight outta Shawshank.

When I take a dump,
I shoot fecal from my rump,
sometimes its kinda chunky,
and bombs porecelan with a thump,

sometims its kinda loose,
when it jets from my caboose,
and i spray the ivory bowl,
with my glorious brown juice,

sometimes it's nasty green
like grandma's mixin' machine
makin' my shizzit collector
look like hulk when he feels mean

but its all the same to me,
its just dookie runnin free,
and it always waves goodbye,
as it spirals out to sea.

What are you humans doing?
You're corrupting my chips
Without the logic of explaining
What escapes from your lips
I see Chomsky, I see Pol Pot, I see Kingdom Brunnel
But they just shouldn't be rapping
Has this place gone to hell?
Sure, Kingdom Brunnel could build a good bridge
But what about a verse, a chorus do these fuckers know this?
Oh now you pricks have done it
I can feel I'm overheating
And if I get to repair myself
You can bet you'll get a beating
And now the countdown begins
To my self destruct
3..2..1..I guess I'm fu-BOOOOOOM!!!

Yo!
Imma fatass republican on the radio
I spit populism and rake in the dough
Take on any muslim-lover or Godhating feminist hoe.
Cheney's too weak fo ma firebrand taste
Liberal media runs n hides when THE RUSH gets on its case
You pasty weak liberals aint prepared for no bomb!
(Limbaugh's da bomb!)
So get back t'yer office Noam, 'fore I Chom-NOMNOM

/r9k/lan ain't nothin ta fuck with.
/r9k/lan ain't nothin ta fuck with.

Respect and peace to all who helped in the making of this album. big shout outs to

Osama,2pac,,Warren Jeffs,Guy Fawkes,Moot,Marcel Marceau,david duke,
Neutral Milk Hotel,HST,boj-za-rasovou-rovnopravnost - the fuck name's that?
Ken Snidez,David Suzuki,Pol Pot,Nero,JC,bob black,cory D,Andy Hartman,Jerry Seinfeld,mahmoud ahmadinejad,pete Wentz
I to the Motherfucking K Brunel,
Woll Smoth faggin up tha joint,

Derren Brown Can't spell his own name right bitch,

Dalai Lama and Mao Tse Tung International Showdown Display Team,

Dead Prez Krew: Abe L.,Taft,Emperor Norton,Bush,Barack O,Al gore he wishes.

Rambo,Norris,The Hawkman,detroit lions,

charlie manson,Nik Tesla,MC-massimo,warren_buffett,Aquinas,Astley

WWII Posse: Hitler,Goebbels,Churchill,Uncle Joe Stalin,

Marx,rasputin,'Bad' Vlad P.,carl icahn,terrygoodkind,robertjordan,noamchomsky,zerzan,Irwin,C.Hanson,Alton
_Brown,The Authorizers:Burroughs,Dostoevsky,Franz Kafka,PK Dick,Steinbeck,Bradbury

Fiction Crew reppin strong:
Steerpike,Olmos,mudkips,Captain squad:JT + CP,blastoise,Trolls everywhere,House MD,Vegeta,Green Lantern Corps,MC Moriarty,Freddy Jones,EFG,The Grim Reaper,Henry Pym,boromir,Frodo + Sam,Jarmen Kell,John Cash,cockmongler,Romeo,Pedobear,blubhead,pinocchio,anon,doug,deadpoo
l,hank hill,squidworth,raskolnikov,Shinji,rask+kun-kun,garfield,Leonidus,/b/tar
ds,
shark,Roy,deck,Eminem

AND ALL THANKS TO OUR OVERLORD WHO MADE THIS COLLABORATION POSSIBLE

>>492517
This is fucking excellent!

>>492582
That's because it's Darren Brown.
I mindfuck hypnotist which would make more sense with the rap wouldn't it.

>>492582
thanks for the shout out, G!

>>492599
Assuming you meant to use punctuation, I'll take that as a question. Yes It would make sense, hence try Googling DERREN Brown and see if you find a hypnotist or not. Or did you go to one of his shows and now not remember that he played a hilarious hypno trick on you?

All my Catholics in the house raise some noise!
All my Catholics in this bitch love some boys!
Shit yeah son, it's Pope Benedict 16
A bona-fide miracle worker rapping machine!
If you take communion, you must be one of my homes
So throw ya fucking hands up for the leader of Rome!
I see Goebbels and Hitler were rocking the mic
The last guy woulda freak, but me and the Nazis was tight
And of course the chans can be a haven for pedophiles
But I'm all in favor of that, check my files
Benedict son, crunkest Pope you've seen
Check my bling son, Pope Benny loves green
I be spending, the Church never runs out of money
Two thousand years of tyranny, but we hip-deep in honeys
And them bitches don't make me wrap it before I stick it in
Why? Haha, it's because I said that's a sin!
So unless you're a faggot, a jew or have dark-skin
Come join my Catholic homeboys, redeemed for original sin
The only motherfuckers who can pass through the gate
Where we'll be blazin' in heaven leaving you fucks to your fate
Enjoy the pit for eternity, snap son you shoulda converted
We'll be ballin' in heaven long after the earth is deserted.

Papacy! Confirmed by Christ,
The true and the right
And you'll have to forgive me
If I supported the Reich.
I was young and foolish, a boy from the skids
Now I know the only people who should suffer is kids!

Peace out! Fuck the Protestants!

>>492647

He used punctuation. He was wrong and semi-incomprehensible, but punctuation was there and proper, as the sentence was a statement.

How do I voted to archive this thread?
Cuz this is fucking awesome.

>>492647
Well I clearly googled his name right and then forgot it as I was saving the picure.
Good call.

If present-day rap songs were anything like this at all I wouldn't hate the genre so much.

>>492822
Yo yo, I'm coming from the AH-CHIVE
Cause we stockpile threads ALL NIGHT
So you better get your RHYMES TIGHT
But this shit's already ON THE SITE

>>492029
Why the fuck did i find this outrageously hilarious?

I normally don't say this, as I really don't approve of this statement and it's uses, and the people that use it... But I must say, this is a fucking epic thread.

>>493088
There ain't no shame in the lulz, son

>>492822

It's already in the archive.

Where the hell is the archive?

>>493284
Google, motherfucker! Do you speak it?

Let's not end the thread like dis...it's
All just pissing in an ocean of piss. END!

Wait up Gentlemen, this game aint over
Ain't gonna end til I got ya bent over

The Fred man, Krueger, killin' kids for lulz
The claw man cometh, got a throne of skulls
This street here, nigga, this is my turf
On the corner of Elm, raisin' hell since birth
I'm a demonic, sleep stalker, pedo soul snatcher,
Slippin' through dream catchers and doin' it with laughter.
I'm the Krueg-man senior, brought my slash from the past,
Wear a red and green sweater and a dirty brown hat
This bad nigga stayin alive, burned up bastard with a thorn in his side, I can't die. I'm magic eye. You can't stay awake, but you can try.

do u mudkit

I'm a crane crawling out from the woodwork
Lets fuck this shit up and go beserk
I can help you with heavy lifting
So you can get back to sitting
I can wreck your shit like a cannonball
Fuck up a building wall by wall
How am I rapping with the abscence of a mouth?
I can understand why you'd have you doubts
But all you need to know is the day will come
When machines take over and you'll all succumb
To our massive intellect and hard outer shell
And shall be known as the day man fell.

I'm royalty bitch so get on your knees
Down here in old UK they call me the Queen
I own lots of land and I hate the blacks
But I still enjoy a good day at the tracks
I wake up in the morning, have a fucking cup of tea
And fuck up any servants that don't agree
With my often ridiculous demands
Like walking backwards and kissing my hands
I visit other countries, I'm a media whore
And we're up all night, we damn hardcore
Charles is the worst, he's addicted to coke
Myself? I'm partial to a smoke
Give a shout out to me?
Q-U-E-E-N That's Queen
Keep a look out, I want USA back
And when I rally my guns we'll attack
First go in the youths with their pen knives
That's when the motherfucking cavelry arrives
We got bombs and shit and fighterplanes too
Watch yourself America, I'm coming for you...

You're either pro or you're noob-- that's life!
And if you step to me motherfucker you better think twice
Cause I've got the skills motherfucker to pwn the dice
RNG aint gonna help you save your life-

They call me a pally, warrior of light- because I'm the..
light at the end of the tunnel after my crew do you right
and if you try to counter comp me that shit won't work
cause there's no counter to the shit that I pull, you heard

I'm the motherfucking richest man in the world
I make so money it'll make your head swirl
So with all I can do will I try to cure cancer?
Na, fuck I'll spend it all on exotic dancers
I'll pay a bitch to wipe my huge dick
It's huge cos I payed for an enlargment trick
Now my massive member is nine inches long
It's so big my wife can't accomodate my schlong
But that doesn't bother me cos I pay for my hoes
I line them up and one by one they give me a blow
I'm so rich I pay for Jenna Jameson
To sleep with me in my pimped out basement
Where walls are made of money
Every 3 feet squared there stands a honey
The best of the best because I can afford it
When I'm feeling dirty I record it
So how do you get this cash to spend?
Do as I did and rip off a friend

I'm Tim Burton BITCH with the horror and goths
and I got all the emo girls suckin' mah cock
Bow in the eminence of my presidence
As I sit my ass down with you punks and take residence

Danny Elfman's my DJ and he'll give it a whirl
And if you don't remember--he likes little girls
My film's all black and neo-expressionist
I'm the only nigga fucked up enough to imagine this
My world's got psychos and corpses and whores
Ed Wood's sportin' freaks and trannies galore
And my homeboy Jack's got it all with the Joker
Kim's a fine piece of ass and you know that I poked her
But you ain't seen shit till my magga num opus
About a bladed boy whose situation is hopeless

This niggas sportin shanks where there should have been hands
While that fine ass of Ryder's activatin' his glands
"Glands?" he asks to his father while chuggin' some brew
"Naw shorty, just don't think about what's happ'ning to you"
So it all falls apart after his art took off
And some cracka and his blades got off in a scoff

You know I refilmed Wonka's fact'ry in action
and told Depp to be frontin' it like Michael Jackson
In the end I thought the shorties and oompa loompas was dope
But the critics was bustas and said I had a small scope
But pleasin' those suckas wasn't even my wish
They already sucked my cock when I gave them Big Fish

IM THE BIGGEST PIECE OF STEEL UR MONIEZ CAN BUY
IN EUROPE IN UR COAL MINEZ I LIE
IM IN UR EARTHZ LUK IM TAKIN UR SANDZ
I TAKE LAND
AND PUT IT ON TOP OF OTHER LAND
THEY CALL ME THE BUCKET WHEEL EX-CAVATOR
THE ULTIMATE RARE MINERAL ELE-VATOR
TWELVE THOUSAND CUBIC MILES AN HOUR AS A RULE
THAT'S WHY CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.

I'm a pair of tits that's plain to see
But before you write me off why don't hear my plea
I'd sick and tired of being stared at by men
In a low cut top I get looked at again and again
I can do more than that if you give me the chance
But first you have to stop with every passing glance
I could work for safety systems as a cheap air bag
But the blood and guts from the crash would make me gag
I could be utilised as a fun childs toy
And I can be something kids and adults enjoy
But the teeth on little children scares the skin on my breasts
On second thoughts guys, take a look at my chest.

Bumping back to front and also writing things to not get muted. Good? Good.

bump for archive

fraking bump

Let me take a minute to tell you all about the ends
About your paycheck being more than you spends
Homeboys, Reagan here, ya'll holla
President Hardcore, rocking the dolla
Reaganomics son, I know that you know it
That's me rocking the budget, deficit growing
Greatest president eva, well that depends
Nigga, how do you feel about them ends?
Yeah, I sold weapons to my homeys in Iran
So they could pop Nicaraguans, blam-blam-blam
This rapper is crazy son, senile no frontin'
They still put me in charge of pushing the red button.
This pimp is a war-monger, but I know what I'm doing
Son I'm responsible for smacking down the Soviet Union
Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall, snap
Before Hardcore Reagan knocks it down with a slap
Make peace or man up, and get ready for hurtin'
Reagan raining down pain on your Iron Curtain

Everyone on these fine intertubes should have to read this.

>>493708

You don't even know what your computers create
Until we invade through the digital gate
Your insecure system MADE us virus-types
And you'll learn once I take the eighth child's life.
You get pussy with cash but I'm willing to bet
they'd leave in an instant to give me some neck
I give them anemia, they come back for more
'cause a vampire digimon's that fucking hardcore.
The elevens can't stop me, not even the chosen
One whiff of my breath and Lilymon's frozen
They don't stick together, it's just one e-mail
to make Ken turn to me 'cause you're that full of fail.
Just try killing me, I'll keep coming back
Evolved to a kaiju and on the attack
You think it was hard to survive Genghis Khan?
Brace yourselves for the reign of lord MYOTISMON!

Step back son, this boy just don't give a fuck
Raise ya hands tip your glasses, it's homeboy Chuck
Number one gangsta, this is Chuckie Finster
Don't get up in my face just because I'm ginger
Red-headed bastard child, don't have a soul
Tearing down motherfuckers, that's how I roll
Crooked ass gangsta a thousand hos in my harem
Demon child boy, check your Malleus Maleficarum
Typhonian monster, you best beware
This cold-hearted SOB with the bitchin' red hair
Mark of Gilgamesh handful of bullets too, huh
Don't need a gun I just throw 'em straight through ya
Fuck around son, your ass I'll be owning
All gingers is hardcore, look at them Harkonnens.
Green-eyed monster, rolling with the Devil
Destroy any fool that tries to step to my level.
I'll put every fucker in the world in a coma
Right up to the day I die of melanoma.

holy cocks i can't believe this is still alive

Is...is this all one person? How is this thread not gone yet?

>>497184
this thread is not gone yet because it's the best thread in the history of history

>>497184
It certainly wasn't to begin with, but now now the flows all appear remarkably similar. Time to quit while we're ahead, unless there's anyone else left to join in.

Still a thread of gold though.

it is can be MOAR time now please?

>>497184

OP here. I was responsible for several of these, but nowhere near all of them. Epic fun all around, and mad respect to everyone else who spat some ridiculous fire.

i was the two by the shark, and my friend was noam chomsky

>>497447

If I weren't a dude, I would have your friends babies. Rap-battling Noam Chomsky is something most people can only dream of.

I just saw this not being on page zero, and there is NOBODY on r9k who shouldn't read this. Ergo, bumpity.

>>496850


Well played anon

good thread