Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: NorthernStar on June 28, 2013, 01:57 pm
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My Fiancee of five years currently works in a city centre lapdancing bar, Now what I'm asking is could any of you guys actually have/or have had a girlfriend who lapdances.
She wasn't dancing when I met her, In fact I encouraged her to go for an audition, now she has got the job, I'm having second thoughts. Now if the money was good enough to justify her working there it wouldn't be so bad. Most of the girls are struggling, as people don't seem to have the money at the moment with the recession and all. The club charges her a set commission, some other clubs the more they earn the more they get charged. Now someone I know went on for a dance off her, the club has a strict no touching policy, and there are cctv cameras everywhere, the doormen also look out for anyone touching the girls and would soon throw them out. Basically a dance is £20-40, and a VIP is £100. She has to strip her bra and then her panties off, and move her body provocatively Also the customers have to keep there hands down touching the chair. I feel humiliated, that my friend has seen my Fiancee's body in all it's glory. And I don't think I can go on supporting her. It wasn't so bad when they were strangers, but now it's someone I know it's different. I would never say to her you're not doing this or that, as that amounts to bullying and I do love her. Other friends ask how could you let your future wife brass her self off, Ok I get her all to myself when she gets in but mostly she is tired ( that's when she isn't cocained up to the eyeballs). Our sex life is great, but I can't handle it anymore. Could you handle it??? Is it bad, am I a man? Please only mature people answer, no trolls that are virgins and/or who have never had a girlfriend.
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Expensive. And no touching? :( No wonder they are struggling. You can usually get at least head in private or VIP. You're this upset because your friend saw your girlfriends body? If it's really bothering you this much then I think there is a problem. I don't know what else to say mate.
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Try to detach yourself emotionally from her work, if you cant ask then her to quit. If she doesn't want to quit leave her. Its pretty simple but when being in a relationship people tend to rationalize certain irrational behavior because its the easiest.
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tbh it wouldn't bother me in the slightest but that's irrelevant really as we're all different - if it bothers you then it does and that's that - doesn't make you 'bad' or anything.
It does all sound a bit about you though...you encouraged her...now you can't handle it. What's her take on the situation? It's her body after all, and she is free human being, right?
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I don't think it would bother me. But I am not a big fan of monogamy in general.
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My lady wanted to work in a lapdancing bar once, Not as a dancer but just as a barmaid, They are told to dress "up" so as to keep the attention on the dancers, They are escorted out to their cars or if they travel by bus r train the bouncers wait untill everyone has left and do a perimeter check before letting the girls out for safety reasons.
Now I was still like no, your not working in there, Im all for free speech and everything, But you know for a fact there will be sleazy guys wanting to chat her up, Fire into her or be thinking dirty shit about them. Even more so for your girlfriend who has to bend over naked in front of guys.
why would somebody pay 100 quid for a vip when they could pay 40 for a standard one, There has to be something more to it?
How much do you trust your girlfriend? I mean she may be a nice girl or whatever, But say some guy offered her a nights wages to suck and fuck him, would she do it,For say 400 quid there and then? A lot of girls would on the spot. You said she was coked out her head mostly, Maybe some guy offers here a quarter or half of white? No offense.
The fact that you encouraged her is going to come back to bite you in the ass big time, But you can always say, I thought it would be fine, but its just too much for me. But would she go back to a normal job after earning slightly more doing this?
would she be happy with the money she is earning, or would she want more because she knows how horny guys get and realizes she could rake in a couple hundred a time escorting..? It could be a slippery slope.
I personally could just not handle it, mentally. My missus is my missus end of.
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She wasn't dancing when I met her, In fact I encouraged her to go for an audition, now she has got the job, I'm having second thoughts.
You fucked up by encouraging her, now she is most likely under the impression that you are cool with it. You also fucked up by getting involved with a broad that fucks with blow.
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Thanks for your input peeps, Jacknhoff.**..Yeah strict policy mate, there are local brothels where they can get what they want but this place is classy, well classy compared to some clubs. Many men have seen her naked but I don't know them, this guy I see regularly. So it's awkward. Fartbomber.**..I do try to judge things dispassionately and tell her I don't want to hear a word about work, she just switches of and leaves work in work. Intratterrestrial,** yes She has always enjoyed dancing, and I'm not one of those who says to her your not doing this and your not wearing that, That's controlling and bullying and I respect her too much for that. So She enjoys it because of the banter with the other girls, who some of are married. It's not as though we need the money, as the man in the relationship of course I'm the main breadwinner, that's putting equality aside for a min.So I wouldn't expect her to work and me do nothing....Leaf**...That's an interesting stance, and another debate!.......HeartFireFlame**...Basically mate its £40 for a dance where everybody is still in bar and other girls are dancing on pole or whatever, and then the V.I.P just means they go to a booth that's private with CCTV of course, and the guy gets a bottle of champers thrown in. They do have to basically stick their bootys in the customers face and wobble their boobs, but I promise there is strictly no touching. I'm not that naive where I believe other girls don't make arrangements after the club shuts. But she has never ever She has never stayed out all night once, I pick her up every morning and drop her off every night, She has a qualification in Care Work so she could to pursue that line of work. Yes it has bitten me on bottom but I seriously didn't think she would go through with the audition, I though she was just testing me and checking if I loved her enough women sometimes are a strange bunch! so I called her bluff and encouraged her, I trust her implicitly I know she is good looking enough, and has a good body, and is good on pole. But I didn't realize how much it would bother me. As I said mate if she was earning enough to justify it but she isn't none of them are, I didn't do her justice saying she gets beeked up to the eyeballs, She is really strong like that she only drinks and snorts when she's working the other 3-4 nights she detoxes, She said she needs the coke for dutch courage and the drink, most of the girls do. she said to me would YOU get up on a pole or in front of someone naked and be straight headed.?..No I wouldn't I said, she has a point. MC haberdasher, tell me about it! she's not that bad on coke really mate, she doesn't get wasted so she isn't in control, And the doormen and other girls watch out for each other and the rowdy and pervert customers. Well thanks a lot there's a lot to mull over here, Really appreciate the feedback guys thanks.
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HeartFireFlame**...Basically mate its £40 for a dance where everybody is still in bar and other girls are dancing on pole or whatever, and then the V.I.P just means they go to a booth that's private with CCTV of course, and the guy gets a bottle of champers thrown in. They do have to basically stick their bootys in the customers face and wobble their boobs, but I promise there is strictly no touching. I'm not that naive where I believe other girls don't make arrangements after the club shuts. But she has never ever She has never stayed out all night once, I pick her up every morning and drop her off every night, She has a qualification in Care Work so she could to pursue that line of work. Yes it has bitten me on bottom but I seriously didn't think she would go through with the audition, I though she was just testing me and checking if I loved her enough women sometimes are a strange bunch! so I called her bluff and encouraged her, I trust her implicitly I know she is good looking enough, and has a good body, and is good on pole. But I didn't realize how much it would bother me. As I said mate if she was earning enough to justify it but she isn't none of them are, I didn't do her justice saying she gets beeked up to the eyeballs, She is really strong like that she only drinks and snorts when she's working the other 3-4 nights she detoxes, She said she needs the coke for dutch courage and the drink, most of the girls do. she said to me would YOU get up on a pole or in front of someone naked and be straight headed.?..No I wouldn't I said, she has a point. Well thanks a lot there's a lot to mull over here, Really appreciate the feedback guys thanks.
Ahh i see, Well to be honest, Its probably more in "our" heads as guys that you woulden't want pervy guys staring at her naked and dancing, Waving it in their face etc, just because we know what they are thinking.
It seems a shame that having a degree in care etc that she has to resort to this, Maybe she doesn't enjoy it that much either? Especially if she is having to resort to aking the odd line for dutch courage you know?
Maybe you should have a chat with her , just explain to her exactly how you felt, now how you feel,explain that your not a controlling guy, But you dont want to see her go down a slippery slope. You seem fairly decent and i reckon if you explained it to her the way you have told this topic about it she should see sense. Maybe try offering to pay for things a bit more for a while until she can get a job in care. show her that it is a career and not just a job like at the club. The money isnt that much better anyway at the club so would she rather degrade herself more for little or less cash?
All the best mate
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Maybe she doesn't enjoy it that much either? Especially if she is having to resort to aking the odd line for dutch courage you know?
I know that I'd love shaking my dick in a bunch of womenz faces! ;D
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Maybe she doesn't enjoy it that much either? Especially if she is having to resort to aking the odd line for dutch courage you know?
I know that I'd love shaking my dick in a bunch of womenz faces! ;D
that is a job you know jack.. Male stripper. However i couldent do it... id be wanting to facefuck them lmfao, When they are all grabbing at it etc, I couldent stick to the no touching when im waving my dick in bunch of horny womens faces and they love it hahaha
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My Fiancee of five years currently works in a city centre lapdancing bar, Now what I'm asking is could any of you guys actually have/or have had a girlfriend who lapdances.
She wasn't dancing when I met her, In fact I encouraged her to go for an audition, now she has got the job, I'm having second thoughts. Now if the money was good enough to justify her working there it wouldn't be so bad. Most of the girls are struggling, as people don't seem to have the money at the moment with the recession and all. The club charges her a set commission, some other clubs the more they earn the more they get charged. Now someone I know went on for a dance off her, the club has a strict no touching policy, and there are cctv cameras everywhere, the doormen also look out for anyone touching the girls and would soon throw them out. Basically a dance is £20-40, and a VIP is £100. She has to strip her bra and then her panties off, and move her body provocatively Also the customers have to keep there hands down touching the chair. I feel humiliated, that my friend has seen my Fiancee's body in all it's glory. And I don't think I can go on supporting her. It wasn't so bad when they were strangers, but now it's someone I know it's different. I would never say to her you're not doing this or that, as that amounts to bullying and I do love her. Other friends ask how could you let your future wife brass her self off, Ok I get her all to myself when she gets in but mostly she is tired ( that's when she isn't cocained up to the eyeballs). Our sex life is great, but I can't handle it anymore. Could you handle it??? Is it bad, am I a man? Please only mature people answer, no trolls that are virgins and/or who have never had a girlfriend.
Did your friend pay to have her for a private dance? If so that is pretty fucked.
I personally wouldn't let my girlfriend and would end it if she worked there. I have been to strip clubs all across the UK and yes it is no touching but every dance they have either 1.Put her nipples in my mouth 2.Rubbed my cock with her ass 3.Licked me.....now I would not want my GF ever doing that to another bloke but the fact is if they have got a guy paying £300 (you will be surprised how many guys do) for a long dance they have to. I would honestly talk to her about it if your not happy with it.
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You're making a big mistake, dude. You shouldn't even be marrying ANY American/western woman, as they are all brainwashed by feminism.
Before you get married, please, I beg you, go take a vacation to Thailand, and meet the women there.
I bet that after meeting Asian women, you won't even think about marrying an American/western woman anymore.
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Tell her how you feel.
You don't have to command her to do this or that, but your feelings about things should matter... and if they don't, I don't see your relationship working out in the long run.
Look... she's not making much money anyhow, why deal with the added stress this brings? Would her mother/father be happy knowing she's turning to this?
I don't want to go into my personal history, but I've dealt with this and worse. If a stripper wants to make more money, they do more things. (ever been to a bachelor party with strippers?) They meet guys willing to sever their own limbs to stick their dick into them (for whatever reason)... these guys will come in and be regulars, they will constantly offer them loads of cash (especially in an upscale place)... eventually the amount will be so big she wont turn it down. These guys will want to date her etc. Most strippers aren't just strippers. Maybe she's not doing this now, but after all her stripper whore coworkers constantly indoctrinate her with "it's no big deal" etc., it will be another story. And it's not like she's going to tell you up front.
If you don't speak up now, you will regret it. Mark my words. Well, unless you're putting a price tag on her pussy...
If you don't speak up... it will go something like this:
You: "why do I have herpes now?"
Her: "I'm sorry hun... I must have got it from work"
You: "you cheated on me?!"
Her: "no babe, it was just work"
You: "what do you mean?"
Her: "I only love you. It paid really well... I even bought your xbox/playstation etc. with the money. I was high."
You: "I didn't need the xbox etc. wtf"
Her: "well I didn't think you'd care, I mean what's the difference really?... I've been with other men before. Anyhow, it was just a quicky and I didn't even let him cum inside or kiss me. You never said any of this bothered you, you didn't even want to hear about it remember? Did you really think I was just giving lap dances all this time? You said we needed the money, that's why I'm out there working my ass off for you... you wanted this!"
You: ***devastated***
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Tell her how you feel.
You don't have to command her to do this or that, but your feelings about things should matter... and if they don't, I don't see your relationship working out in the long run.
Look... she's not making much money anyhow, why deal with the added stress this brings? Would her mother/father be happy knowing she's turning to this?
I don't want to go into my personal history, but I've dealt with this and worse. If a stripper wants to make more money, they do more things. (ever been to a bachelor party with strippers?) They meet guys willing to sever their own limbs to stick their dick into them (for whatever reason)... these guys will come in and be regulars, they will constantly offer them loads of cash (especially in an upscale place)... eventually the amount will be so big she wont turn it down. These guys will want to date her etc. Most strippers aren't just strippers. Maybe she's not doing this now, but after all her stripper whore coworkers constantly indoctrinate her with "it's no big deal" etc., it will be another story. And it's not like she's going to tell you up front.
If you don't speak up now, you will regret it. Mark my words. Well, unless you're putting a price tag on her pussy...
If you don't speak up... it will go something like this:
You: "why do I have herpes now?"
Her: "I'm sorry hun... I must have got it from work"
You: "you cheated on me?!"
Her: "no babe, it was just work"
You: "what do you mean?"
Her: "I only love you. It paid really well... I even bought your xbox/playstation etc. with the money. I was high."
You: "I didn't need the xbox etc. wtf"
Her: "well I didn't think you'd care, I mean what's the difference really?... I've been with other men before. Anyhow, it was just a quicky and I didn't even let him cum inside or kiss me. You never said any of this bothered you, you didn't even want to hear about it remember? Did you really think I was just giving lap dances all this time? You said we needed the money, that's why I'm out there working my ass off for you... you wanted this!"
You: ***devastated***
Nice! Sounds about right, especially the hypothetical conversation between the two.
I actually got engaged to a nice girl, before she became a stripper.
Went into the club on a day she was not expecting me and sure as shit I turn my head to the left to see if I could find her and there she is sucking on a dudes neck. So needless to say, I got kicked out. I was pissed!
She normally got off work at 3am
2 weeks later, she comes walking in at 8am and comes straight for my cock.
She wouldn't let me touch or fuck her puss though, she just gave me head, showered and went to sleep.
I knew right off she had fucked up and got fucked. least I got head before I kicked her out! :)
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I wouldn't mind being in a serious relationship with a woman who USED to lap dance. And I wouldn't mind casually dating a woman who currently lap dances. But I couldn't be in a serious relationship with a woman who currently. But that is mostly because I do have a bit of a jealous streak. I keep it in check but I don't think I am a big enough man to handle other men rubbing up against the woman I love.
But I hold no judgement at all for men who are more secure than I in that area.
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If your not ok with it just tell her how you feel and hopefully she will take your feeling into consideration
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I couldn't handle it. I'd be blind with jealous rage.
A bit of advice, not to be rude at all, but there is nothing wrong with having boundaries and saying no to your woman. I suspect that at least half of your problem is your refusal to : "I would never say to her you're not doing this or that, as that amounts to bullying and I do love her.". As your own person, and in particular as a man, you are well within your rights to lay down the law. I'm not saying to be bossy to anyone, but if you won't set limits, who will?
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My heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you. What a great community this is. Such diverse story's and opinions, but the one consistent theme is I have to tell her what's going on in my head.
We will go from there, I'll keep you posted ! ;D
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Good luck
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Nice! Sounds about right, especially the hypothetical conversation between the two.
I actually got engaged to a nice girl, before she became a stripper.
Went into the club on a day she was not expecting me and sure as shit I turn my head to the left to see if I could find her and there she is sucking on a dudes neck. So needless to say, I got kicked out. I was pissed!
She normally got off work at 3am
2 weeks later, she comes walking in at 8am and comes straight for my cock.
She wouldn't let me touch or fuck her puss though, she just gave me head, showered and went to sleep.
I knew right off she had fucked up and got fucked. least I got head before I kicked her out! :)
I feel your pain, brother.
Hoes can be downright cold. Evil even. Especially the fucking junkies.
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I'll be honest. As much as I like to preach free love and have no problems with girls stripping (or even turning tricks for that matter), I could never have a serious relationship with a stripper. I guess I'm just a Jealous Guy. But if you can handle your woman using her body to make money then more power to the both of you 'cause can bet your bottom Bitcoin that if someone would pay me to helicopter my dick around I'd be all over it.
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My heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you. What a great community this is. Such diverse story's and opinions, but the one consistent theme is I have to tell her what's going on in my head.
We will go from there, I'll keep you posted ! ;D
good luck mate, Yeah let us know how you get on.Get on irc an wel tell you what to say:D Kidding. Good luck mate
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Good luck and keep us posted