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Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: A1pha on August 05, 2013, 05:26 pm

Title: will I be violated in prison
Post by: A1pha on August 05, 2013, 05:26 pm
I have been reading about this exploit that has come about because the police are after the kiddie fiddlers.


I have no techie knowledge,  I am only able to access SR after watching a walk through vid and following the instructions.  I have just checked and I am using firefox 22, and orbot on android. I read that the people who are vulnerable to the attack are those using Firefox 17 or older.

am I safe or do I need to start practising not dropping my soap in the shower.?

either way I need to up my game........
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Turkey for Breakfast on August 05, 2013, 05:34 pm
If you find yourself incarcerated, get involved with the seminary program to avoid insemination. Just what I have heard.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: anontoker on August 05, 2013, 05:37 pm
Don't accept anything that appears to be for free because if you do, you've just payed it forward for your asshole.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Brain Washington on August 05, 2013, 05:51 pm
Don't accept anything that appears to be for free because if you do, you've just payed it forward for your asshole.

QFT
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Ron Swanson on August 05, 2013, 06:22 pm
get some soap on a rope just in case. better safe than sorry and all that.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: A1pha on August 05, 2013, 09:10 pm
turns out I have got nothing to worry about. the exploit only affected windows users.

my ass will remain a virgin.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Turkey for Breakfast on August 05, 2013, 09:16 pm
What would you be going to prison for anyway? Using websites?
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: A1pha on August 05, 2013, 09:21 pm
importing large quantities of drugs into my letterbox.

I do not wish to have my arse bored out by some well hung African American so I will now step up my security.  although ironically I am lax as fuck with my security and have ducked this one, or so I believe.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Ron Swanson on August 05, 2013, 09:37 pm
importing large quantities of drugs into my letterbox.

I do not wish to have my arse bored out by some well hung African American so I will now step up my security.  although ironically I am lax as fuck with my security and have ducked this one, or so I believe.

arse AND african american in the same sentence.. i'm so confused right now. are you the best american ever? or a confused brit? they are the only possible options. i can't be arsed to investigate.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Ballzinator on August 05, 2013, 11:06 pm
The exploit only targets Windows machines running Firefox 17. The vulnerability has been fixed in Firefox 22 and Firefox Extended Support Release 17.0.7. That means anyone who updated their Browser Bundle after June 26th is not affected, even with JS enabled.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Praetorian on August 06, 2013, 12:29 am
I have been reading about this exploit that has come about because the police are after the kiddie fiddlers.


I have no techie knowledge,  I am only able to access SR after watching a walk through vid and following the instructions.  I have just checked and I am using firefox 22, and orbot on android. I read that the people who are vulnerable to the attack are those using Firefox 17 or older.

am I safe or do I need to start practising not dropping my soap in the shower.?

either way I need to up my game........

If you do less than 1 year, no worries.  Just use that time wisely.

If you do less than 5 years(more than 1), better start doing pushups and shadow-boxing now...

If you do more than 5 years, make sure you stretch your asshole out now, to avoid stitches later.   ;D
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: realdeals on August 06, 2013, 12:50 am
let god have mercy on your arse  :(
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: anontoker on August 06, 2013, 12:51 am
Right before you go to jail walk in looking like the 5th circle of hell, with a black eye and don't shave and look like you're crazy as fuck. When you get to prison, don't accept favors from anyone, and if someone disrespects you immediately throw everything you have at them. You likely won't die and you set a precedent for being either completely insane or not being worth fucked with. If someone tries to take your peanut butter make sure you have a piece of metal or something that can do serious damage to a penis.

Those fuckers are horny for some fresh un-tapped peanut butter. Do everything you can, piss your pants and drool, pretend to go into convulsions, thrash around like a drowning whore in the rivers of Hell. That's the ticket...yeah..
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Praetorian on August 06, 2013, 01:00 am
I'd rather take the beating of my life and die from it then let someone take my peanut butter. I would construct some sort of razor device that I'd keep in my anus. Don't come at me with anything you aren't willing to lose. I have enough problems without having to live with the fact I bit a guy's dick off in prison.

If you took a beating though, you likely wouldn't die... but you'll be a nice floppy body for many a dude to prong in the butt region.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: anontoker on August 06, 2013, 01:02 am
I'd rather take the beating of my life and die from it then let someone take my peanut butter. I would construct some sort of razor device that I'd keep in my anus. Don't come at me with anything you aren't willing to lose. I have enough problems without having to live with the fact I bit a guy's dick off in prison.

If you took a beating though, you likely wouldn't die... but you'll be a nice floppy body for many a dude to prong in the butt region.
Yes, they gang up, and soon his ass will be pounded by about 20 maybe 40 cocks. If they think he will bite their cock off (and he will probably have to or get seg or both), they won't touch him.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Alutnarat on August 06, 2013, 01:36 am
They used to have dick traps for ladies to instert for a night out, maybe you could find something similar for your anus, or go the other way and get "The Sodomizer" ( http://dodds.cc/chad/humor/waves/prison.wav ), just make that starfish as unapealing as possible.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: anontoker on August 06, 2013, 02:11 am
Hey if I got knocked out I'd probably prefer that to being conscious during my gang fucking anyway. They're less likely to try and fuck with you if you say you're gay anyway and just bite a dude's cock off and spit it back at him and laugh with blood gushing everywhere. Segregation or not I'm pretty sure nobody will come at you with a penis again. If I got sentenced to 5 + years I'd consider my life over anyway. Might as well immediately attempt to choke someone to death getting off the bus with your shackles than be a new fish and fresh jar of peanut butter.

That's how it goes man when the chips are down and the bottom drops out of the luck bucket. This thread should be stickied because it really is the only way to assure survival in the house. Disgusted by biting off a cock? Get ready to wish you were dead..
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Praetorian on August 06, 2013, 04:45 am
Reflecting on my previous post the thought of having to bite and saw though layers of nerves, dick flesh and tendons with your teeth with a mouth full of cock blood is not really appealing. Anyone got any other advice?

To be frank, no pun intended, I don't think that biting it off will work.  If you bite off one dick, and that's a big if... they'll simply knock out all of your death, and then mouth rape the fucking shit out of you, daily.  You'll never talk the same again.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Praetorian on August 06, 2013, 04:51 am
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jailhouse_rock_(fighting_style)

I think you should start learning the 52 blocks now, and practice your scrotum-ripping grabs.  I mean, if you're trying to avoid a salty dog in the mouth.  And a shank.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: AussieMitch on August 06, 2013, 06:04 am
I'm lucky enough to be able to naturally cultivate a volume of arse hair sufficient enough to deter even the most well-hung african American men.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: Alutnarat on August 06, 2013, 06:41 am
Must be a bitch to wipe
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: CannabisCrusader on August 06, 2013, 06:57 am
The exploit only targets Windows machines running Firefox 17. The vulnerability has been fixed in Firefox 22 and Firefox Extended Support Release 17.0.7. That means anyone who updated their Browser Bundle after June 26th is not affected, even with JS enabled.

Oh thank fucking god. I went to a site hosted by FH and thought I was fucked.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: comsec on August 06, 2013, 07:03 am
Jail isn't that bad. Violent rape tends to happen in max security prisons where violent offenders are and if you are young and get put in an adult facility with a bunch of lifers. It also happens to guys convicted of sexual assault or child sex crimes because they are open season in prison.

Jail is boring for the most part. You read the same books, work a lot and eat the same shitty food. Medium/Light security hardly any bullshit goes on. Just follow the rules of jail:

- don't ask anybody about their crime or 'business' or anything personal
- don't complain, because older guy's who have been there for a decade + will KO you
- do your own time, not somebody else's which means don't do any smuggling, hits, beatings for other people
- don't join a gang (see do your own time rule)
- don't borrow anything ever or accept anything offered to you ever (it's a trap)
- don't talk about somebody if they aren't around
- don't retaliate if somebody says "Hey that guy talked about you" (see do your own time rule.. it's a trick to get you to fight somebody for them) your reply should be "He can say it to my face otherwise it doesn't matter to me"
- go hard if you get in a fight. it's not if you win or lose, it's your willingness to stand up for yourself
- don't talk to guards they are all scumbags/corrupt and other prisoners will think you are snitching
- don't snitch in prison about anything you see
- if some guy offers to walk with you to chow on your first day there (and not your cellmate) say no
- ask about the stupid prison rules (like where you stand around outside in the yard) your cellie tells you this
- if your cellie gets in a fight you usually have to help him but depends on the prison and if the guy is a total moron or not
- don't eat at a table with people outside your 'race' in a US prison due to idiocy
- make sure to say you are either Jewish or request Hindu food from the prison officials so you don't get the mystery meat which makes you sick. any attempt to one up the prison system is considered great success by other inmates
- dear god, don't go in with a shamrock tattoo or any tattoo that looks like an existing gang logo or they will give you 24hrs to remove it and if you don't they do it for you with a knife
- if somebody asks what your in there for don't lie, they will find out. some prisoners want to see your 'papers' upon entry to determine where you fit in the hierarchy. those are your sentencing/court papers and trial records. sexual assault, you might get killed/raped. if you shot a cop, you're now the president of the prison.
- don't talk about your crime to anybody in pre-trial, they are informants just say what you are accused of
MOST IMPORTANT!! - the prison phone is always bugged, and your calls to your lawyer are not protected it's total bullshit but welcome to 2013 and meet Kafka and Orwell.

SECOND MOST IMPORTANT!! - if you maintain a prison blog do it anonymously. Any criticism of the BOP or state prison and they throw you in the hole for months at a time. They've also been known to give prisoners the worst punishment known to man which is chaining you to a prison bus and moving you all over the country 24/7 for months at a time. Imagine diesel fumes for a year straight, they have done this to dissidents. They also put you on a plane rides endlessly too just to fuck with you until you want to die. Prison officials read all prison blogs/search for them (hello NSA) and if they see any pictures taken inside everybody in it get's solitary for a month at least. Doesn't matter if you have written authorization to take the picture from the "official" prison camerman and the warden himself tells you it's OK to post the picture. They hole you anyways. Again, welcome to the dystopian future of state oppression and your new home where National Geographic is considered contraband.

Finally beware of common tricks to get you to fight. You're walking around the yard. Look at a guy. 'WHAT U LOOKIN AT' you're response should not be "NOTHING" because he will say "SO I'M NOTHING TO YOU?" and fight begins. Your response should be "No disrespect, sun in my eyes" then he get's confused and has nothing and walks away. Unless you want to bash the guy's face in but anybody picking a fight with you usually has some sort of upper hand which is why they are picking a fight. They're either connected gangsters that will make your life hell or carrying a weapon.

None of this applies to Miami prison lol. If you live in Miami and deal move now or take MMA 24/7 to get as hard as possible because you'll have to fight like 10 guys at once when you walk in the door.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: anontoker on August 06, 2013, 08:31 am
^ That was interesting.

Indeed, props for that.
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: A1pha on August 06, 2013, 05:02 pm
The exploit only targets Windows machines running Firefox 17. The vulnerability has been fixed in Firefox 22 and Firefox Extended Support Release 17.0.7. That means anyone who updated their Browser Bundle after June 26th is not affected, even with JS enabled.

in that case I'm going to finger my own anus as I wont be getting raped in jail after all.

I am an android user.....
Title: Re: will I be violated in prison
Post by: NorCalKing on August 07, 2013, 12:17 am
The exploit only targets Windows machines running Firefox 17. The vulnerability has been fixed in Firefox 22 and Firefox Extended Support Release 17.0.7. That means anyone who updated their Browser Bundle after June 26th is not affected, even with JS enabled.

in that case I'm going to finger my own anus as I wont be getting raped in jail after all.

I am an android user.....

That almost sounded like it your ass was disappointed, so you were going to use your finger as a conciliatory prize!

NCK