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Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: German Kraut on May 12, 2012, 11:40 am

Title: Lets talk about JERKING Off
Post by: German Kraut on May 12, 2012, 11:40 am
My 13 yr. old nephew (who is like my 3rd son since his dad is never around) was talking to me about "chicks"! 
 
 The subject came up because he accidentally found my old porno stash out in my garage and wanted to "borrow" 1. I said, "just 1, dude you found a gold mine & you just want 1"!!!! We laughed!
 
 I told him when I was in prison back in the 80's, porno mags were like cigarettes in jail. If one was lucky to have a VHS porno, the bids where off the chart!!! He told me DVD pornos was currency. I said, "but you can get free porn on the internet anytime". He said, "not really, you're an adult, kids have parental block, can't do it at libraries and our little handheld phones don't have the same quality IF we can even access it at all".
 WOW! I never thought of that. As an adult, I take it for granted.
 
 I gave him my duffel bag of 30+ DVD's and said, "you didn't get them from me, understand"?
 [Disclaimer: his mother busted him with mags / movies many times and basically said, "I'd rather him look at that stuff then have some little girls' parents tell me she's ......! It's cool, trust me, his moms knows!!]
 "How are you gonna watch them, isn't the DVD downstairs in your living room" I asked? "Duh, I got my PS3  with the HDTV in my bedroom! I also got big bottle of lotion with a roll of paper towels".
 "Listen to what I'm about to tell ya: 1) try to keep that shit to less than 3 times a day or you'll go blind. 2) If you're right handed, learn to use your left every now & then (you'll thank me later if you ever break your arm!), 3) nothing wrong with dry-jacking when you run out of lotion!!! If you're ever in jail or in the army out in the bush, spit doesn't work well..you won't regret it, son" 4) anyone who tells you they DON'T jerky-jerky is a liar and finally, 5) Yes, women do it too...alot!!!!
 
 MAJOR JERKY RULE: "YOU CAN TALK ABOUT IT, BUT NEVER-EVER GET CAUGHT!!!
Title: Re: Lets talk about JERKING Off
Post by: Joeyjojojr on May 12, 2012, 11:49 am
Ahhh... lmfao. You made me laugh with this one. +1 Buddy.
Title: Re: Lets talk about JERKING Off
Post by: jpinkman on May 12, 2012, 12:01 pm

He told me DVD pornos was currency. I said, "but you can get free porn on the internet anytime". He said, "not really, you're an adult, kids have parental block, can't do it at libraries and our little handheld phones don't have the same quality IF we can even access it at all".

Hilarious. Although a bit surprising that he hadn't figured out how to circumvent the parental block. Many ways to easily do that and when i was 16 I would have been as strongly motivated as a 16 year old can be to circumvent the fuck out it. :) I suppose in his case, you're his circumventer.
Title: Re: Lets talk about JERKING Off
Post by: Kappacino on May 12, 2012, 12:14 pm
So what's the most ridiculous place you've ever jerked it?

I'd have to go with public library.

I've got a mate who swears that he jerked it in the back of the car whilst his parents were driving him somewhere, and disguised it by pretending to read the newspaper.
Title: Re: Lets talk about JERKING Off
Post by: Trippyskies on May 12, 2012, 12:27 pm
Install a tails flash drive for him.  works like a charm.  hahaha.  Tails, it's not just for SR anymore.
Title: Re: Lets talk about JERKING Off
Post by: German Kraut on May 12, 2012, 12:44 pm


I'd have to go with public library.

Everytime i see a womans bicycle  i get a instant boner and start to wank ....  ;)
Title: Re: Lets talk about JERKING Off
Post by: Dipset420 on May 12, 2012, 12:54 pm
So what's the most ridiculous place you've ever jerked it?

I'd have to go with public library.

I've got a mate who swears that he jerked it in the back of the car whilst his parents were driving him somewhere, and disguised it by pretending to read the newspaper.

  Jesus, get that dude to a meeting a.s.a.p.