Silk Road forums
Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: Mudkipcoins on March 02, 2013, 04:32 am
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I don't know about you but I can never sleep well if I'm expecting a delivery. Things start to enter your mind, questions... concerns, paranoia.
The first time I ordered pills of Dex, I didn't know if at any point a SWAT team was going bust down my door, shoot my dog and stomp my cats - wake my loved ones up at gun point. Maybe they had cameras and some fucking super genius dropout with an axe to grind and something to prove, someone who gets his kicks from solving mysteries like Dr. House. Someone who's out there snapping necks like Steven Seagal on meth with a bad hangover.
You don't know. I thought well, if that actually happens we're living in a totalitarian police state and it won't be my fault.
Once you conquer that fear you get new ones. I ordered K from a reputable user. The express post envelope was wet and kind of damaged looking. It did indeed have a vacuum sealed white powder like substance in it and well - lets do it. I had ordered K after reading several studies that claimed K cured or eased depression almost instantly and had long lasting effects. I took some up the nose. I immediately thought Oaky. There is no way that wasn't poison. I've been poisoned! God dammit how fucking stupid am I ordering shit off the internet and putting it into my god damn body? WHAT the fuck is wrong with me, what will my mother say? Now I'm dying - I can't move and my nose feels like I snorted draino razor blades with a side of anthrax. I was high... on something. Was it K? Maybe. Probably. I bet it was K. I bet it was pure but to this day I swear my sinus hasn't recovered. I got nose bleeds after just that one session. Hypochondria went into overdrive and thoughts raced. This is some fucking long term shit, long term poison. Was it radioactive? Why would someone do this? I bet there are people who would do this. It feels "ok" now but I have to always suspect.
So my main 3 fears are:
1. Getting caught
2. Getting ripped off
3. Getting poisoned
That's that, hope you enjoyed. This was kind a thought exercise for me so take what you will, maybe one of you will relate or have a similar story. Again, I'm sure I'm just being paranoid and it was just K and my nose is particularly delicate. There is however that nagging voice that says, "what if..."
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Best to be cautious but try to avoid outright paranoia. Then again, the first time I did K I thought I was dying too. It's one hell of a drug. I felt similarly the first time I did a speedball and shot cocaine. Nothing else in the drug world compares. I thought I was dying and I still was thinking about wanting to feel that again if I didn't. Haha.