Silk Road forums

Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: garm77 on April 21, 2013, 08:40 pm

Title: Jokes to 50
Post by: garm77 on April 21, 2013, 08:40 pm
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn. The bartender says "We have no corn, get out of here." So the duck leaves. The next day he comes back and asks for corn again, and the bartender says "I told you, we don't have any corn! Get out!" So the duck leaves. The next day he goes in again and asks for corn, and the bartender says, "For the last time, we don't have corn! If you ever come back, I'm going to nail those webbed feet of yours to the floor!" So the duck leaves. The next day the duck comes and asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender says, "No, of course not. Why would a bar have nails?" The duck then says, "Good. Can I have some corn?
Title: Re: Jokes to 50
Post by: garm77 on April 21, 2013, 08:43 pm
A woman walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey where'd you get the pig?"
The women says "This isn't a pig it's a duck"
and the bartender says "No, I was talking to the duck!"
Title: Re: Jokes to 50
Post by: mickeyknox123456 on April 21, 2013, 09:34 pm
a guy walks up to his wife and says "your pussy is as big as a house.""your pussy is as big as a house." the wife said "why did you say it twice?" to which the man replied "i didnt!"
Title: Re: Jokes to 50
Post by: garm77 on April 22, 2013, 02:33 pm
A little guy is sat at a bar when all of a sudden a thug smacks him in the face and says: "Thats kung fu from japan." A bit later the thug smacks him again and says:"Thats karate from korea." The little guy gets up and leves the bar. A short time later he comes back and smacks the thug knockin him out cold.He turns to the barman and says:"When that cunt wakes up tell him that was a fuckin shovel from B&Q


Title: Re: Jokes to 50
Post by: garm77 on April 22, 2013, 02:37 pm
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.

"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?"

"I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."


Title: Re: Jokes to 50
Post by: garm77 on April 22, 2013, 10:48 pm
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well" says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must work in business."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."