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Discussion => Security => Topic started by: AlphaLima on August 15, 2012, 01:29 pm

Title: Holy Urine Test Batman!!!
Post by: AlphaLima on August 15, 2012, 01:29 pm
Pretty damn sad....not only do I get randomly (ha!) tested at my pm clinic; I get to pay for it!!!! For the first time I actually sat down and read this thing.

Drug Screen Single - not sure what the heck that is?
Assay of Opiates - I take opiates on a daily basis. What does this test?
Assay of Benzodiazepines - have to google that one, not a clue what it is.
Gas/Liquid Chromatography - well that's pretty damn vague.
Assay of Methadone - I am so freakin' glad I didn't order any of these!! I was thinking about it, but they're off the approved list!
Assay of Amphetamines - I knew that one
Assay of Cocaine - knew that one
Assay of Ethanol - No drinking before your appointment. Hope those beers are out of my system by this afternoon!
Assay of Urine Creatinine - no freakin clue what this is either

For those of you that get randomly tested, this a sampling of what they're testing for. What not to take when you're a pm patient.

Happy No Drug Taking!!  :'(
Title: Re: Holy Urine Test Batman!!!
Post by: raven92 on August 15, 2012, 01:49 pm
Urine Creatinine is probably because diuretics cause it to increase, its likely being checked to make sure your not trying to cheat the test.
Benzodiazepines are anti-anxiety drugs like xanax, ativan.
Opiate panels usually check for heroin and theres a common metabolite that is checked for basically every other opioid.

Title: Re: Holy Urine Test Batman!!!
Post by: AlphaLima on August 15, 2012, 02:04 pm
Wow...xanax/ativan, et al, are off the list.

Heroin I don't have to worry about. I stick to ordering things like Oxycontin/Oxycodone, Opana and Dilaudid. Since I'm prescribed Percocet and Vicodin, I figured those wouldn't cause a problem since they're in the same class of opiate. I hope!

What I wouldn't give to smoke just one little joint. Hell, let me just sit in the room and breath it in!
Title: Re: Holy Urine Test Batman!!!
Post by: mrgrey on August 15, 2012, 02:18 pm
you do know that they make opiate tests that differentiate between the various classes, ie morphine, methadone, demerol, even now suboxone can be tested for.  also if its a legit clinic they will do a serum level work up on you, which tells if you are taking your meds as you should, and can even distinguish between like dilaudid, oxy, hydro, etc....   if i were you, i would see if you can eyeball the brand and name of the test, and what lab its getting sent to, then google it up for more information, but pain clinic piss tests and probation piss tests are two entirely seperate things
Title: Re: Holy Urine Test Batman!!!
Post by: Errl_Kushman on August 15, 2012, 02:55 pm
I've had 100% success rate for passing drug tests using synthetic urine. "Urine Luck" is always on hand here!

Last time was a standard 10 panel about 1 year ago.
Title: Re: Holy Urine Test Batman!!!
Post by: AlphaLima on August 15, 2012, 03:43 pm
Crap ~ time to start doing more research. I just "figured" if I was in the same family I would be okay. Since the DEA is the one that is requiring the tests, I had better figure out what opiates they're testing for.

That's our flipping government for you. Let's crack down on this oxycontin problem. We'll start by cutting the meds of pm patients. That will fix it. No you dumb asses, we find places like SR to make up the shortfall. Sorry ass DEA. Well I took half an Opana 40 this morning and my appt is at 1:30. Let's hope this month isn't my month.

Damn, I love my oxy and opana vendors. Hopefully a little research will show it's okay. Or maybe front load my oxys and opanas in the beginning of the month and use the percs and vicodin at the end?
Title: Re: Holy Urine Test Batman!!!
Post by: Snoopish on August 15, 2012, 04:21 pm
Let us know how it goes! Testing is a pain but if you think you might fail you can always drink a lot of water right before. I think if you piss clear from drinking a lot your creatine gets fucked up and you'll have to retest. Only do that if you're desperate though because then they might perform a more advanced test.

Title: Re: Holy Urine Test Batman!!!
Post by: mrgrey on August 15, 2012, 04:53 pm
if i read right and this is a pain clinic test, then you cant go and use fake urine and waterdown urine anyway,  as you will need to test positive for your meds, but negative for everything else.   the only thing you can do is to go a month clean and take your meds and prescribed, when you are nice and good, then pee yourself like 12 cups of piss and freeze them,  then you can dethaw and use and they will test for what you need and not for what you dont