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Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: dkmonk on April 28, 2012, 03:06 pm

Title: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on April 28, 2012, 03:06 pm
I am making this thread for people who have had a an addiction or currently have one to heroin and want to post their stories about their way of life and experiences due to being an addict/heroin junkie. It is often unusual and absolutely absurd to anyone that hasn't lived the life, but when you are an addict and all this stuff becomes a daily routine it is second nature and doesn't seem out of character or abnormal at all until you look back at all the antics you went through to maintain a daily drug habit, and how it almost seems like that stuff that you did wasn't you but someone else you read about.

I personally was an addict for 3 years, and I.V.'ed for all of them. I actually only snorted heroin once until I just went to the needle since it was the only way to truly experience the drug from what I was told. I was introduced to the heroin and the lifestyle by an addict who had been doing it for 8 years and had a laundry list of dealers that had the best dope. In the begining I would ride up with him and get a gram that he would over charge me by 100 dollars for, because I just thought that was the regular price not ever knowing about the drug.

It was crazy seeing and exciting driving up to the city and going to the infamous street where it seemed like all the dealers lived on for about a 10 mile stretch. When I first started going up with him we would wait in a parking lot with about 5-8 other vehicles for the dealer to arrive and he would drive by and everyone would follow them in their car cutting each other off, running red lights, and blowing stop signs as to not lose him or be last until we would get to a certain alley or dead end street where my friend would jump out of the car and run up so he could get served first in case the guy didn't bring enough dope for everyone there.

After awhile and my friend leaving state to sober up and wanting me to send him dope, so he gave me his numbers I had a few dealers of my own.

We would usually always just meet up and no following like had be done previously, but you would see other customers waiting in their car too, and after doing dope you know can spot another junkie from a mile away waiting for dope with the look in their eye they screams with anxiety, sickness, and a glint of hope whenever a new car pulls into a parking lot.

Other times you would get a dope dealer to ask you if you needed any while waiting on your current one to arrive, and this was always interesting, because usually you got to try out some dope for free, and get a new connection and quicker dope since you didn't have to wait for the guy you just called to show up. This would happen frequently it seemed like everyone was selling it.

When the dope would be bought there was never any waiting if we were in a parking lot already that is where we would shoot up and it didn't matter who was around, because it was the bad part of town and we just figured this wasn't frowned upon and people minded their own business anyways. It was all very blatant sitting there with a few other people in your car all fixing up at once looking down in your lap fidgeting around.

Other times we would have certain spots where we liked to get high at like a certain alley or parking spot at a gas station if we were close to, and later on in my addiction I would have hidden syringes and spoons by those spots in case I forgot mine, so I would know I could always get high when I received my dope. There is no I would possibly drive all the way home without getting high, and the pharmacys in that area didn't like to sell needles very easily, but there were a few occasion where I would somehow get my way and con them into it by having peoples names and addresses I wrote down that were diabetic and saying they were my relative, or having remembered an insulin dosage and name like Humulin N so that I could play it off and get my needles.

Dope dealers come in many different personalities, sizes, and I would say color, but not in my case although I am sure other nationalities sold they just weren't as abundant. Most were straight up rude and thought they were god's gift to the world. One guy was very nice at first and we made him so much money and then he changed once he got a new car and felt like he was special, then you start waiting for a half hour or maybe an hour sometimes two, but no matter how long the wait I would never leave town without getting it and the dealers know that, and will play games with you by purposely taking a long time and when you call to figure out where they get shitty and tell you to wait (not like I haven't been for 20 minutes when you were suppose to be a block away)

I am kind of rambling, and will stop and add more later when people respond, but just wanted to jot down what came to my head even if it is a disorganized mess.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: somahaoma on April 28, 2012, 04:23 pm
Enjoyed the read man :)
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: lilith2u on April 28, 2012, 06:36 pm
I've never tried the drug....always been afraid and its never been all that available in my circles. Probably a good thing:) liked your story too.....like watching " The Wire"....the best show ever
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on April 28, 2012, 06:57 pm
Back in the hay day we would make some times up to 3 trips to the city in a day to grab 5-10 grams and bring them back to a small town and sell it all in packs and never have to really spend much money on dope, because heroin was new to town and nobody had a real dealer or new anyone in the city. It was crazy seeing this little town go from normal druggie youth to everyone shooting dope even high school girls that were cheerleaders were getting high. It just became the in thing to do, and everyone was wanting to taste it.

Now about 5 years later the town is worthless, and everyone tries to sell dope, and is either on heroin or meth and usually both. This is a place of about 10k population and nothing bigger than a Super Wal-Mart, but has such a heroin demand that City dealers will hook up with a junkie to stay at a motel and just sell for a weekend, because they can make more down there in a weekend than in the city since nobody has to drive.

I have seen multiple dealers get huge from small time to running around with brand new cars in a period of months just because they started to get clientale from this town and once a dudes number gets around everyone uses him and goes up to  buy a gram or two to try to re-sell. It is astonishing.

There are what we call flop houses where everyone goes to hang out and get high that are absolutely horrible. One was my good friends daughters Mom and he was in prison while she just got high at her house and two young children of hers were there with a bunch of junkies and geekers in and out buying drugs, shooting up, and stealing each other's dope when they could. I would fix food for the kids and do dishes, and even boiled water to put in a bath, so they could bathe since they had no hot water, because it was shut off. That is one of the most haunting places I ever have seen when I was a junkie, and I had been to crack houses and all kinds of places in the city, but nothing compared to seeing that women try to find a vein for hours and cry because she couldn't hit herself while her daughter is at the doorway.

It was eventually raided and she is in prison for have 6 grams of dope and selling. The children are with my friends mom now, because he is still in prison. The thing is we knew it was going to be raided, because a cop parked at the end of the street all night every night and watched, but nobody really cared and just continued on and would just be like, Yah, he is always there like it wasn't a big deal.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: icculus97 on April 28, 2012, 10:28 pm
epcot thread
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: Limetless on April 28, 2012, 11:17 pm
Dkmonk would you think it would be fair to say that Smack was detrimental to the community of this town?
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on April 28, 2012, 11:34 pm
Yes, mainly the youth since all the people who became addicted were mostly in their late teens to late twenty's and were the same kids that used to just smoke pot and eat pills.

Heroin has caused a huge Hepatitis C outbreak, and a large portion of the people who use have it due to the pharmacy's in the town refusing to sell needles since I.V. usage became known and prevalent. The town keeps it hush and nothing is reported in the paper like, "Heroin on the rise" or "Another Youth Heroin Overdose"

I have had one friends house that at least has had the ambulance come 10 times for overdose, and nobody ever knows. Someone would come over buy a pack or two of dope get high and fall out then everyone would clean up while someone called the ambulance and leave until they were done getting the person out of there and to the hospital. Each time on the phone the caller would just say a friend came over went to use the bathroom and never came out so we checked on them, and had no idea what they did before they got to the house. I am sure thought after so many times plus the reputation of the people who lived at the house it wasn't hard to figure out what the deal was.

I have seen so many people OD it didn't phase me anymore and was just like, "Are you serious? Not again...." We started not letting people get high there as much unless they were a good friend who handled their dope well.

One time going up to the city with a few girls we stopped into a gas station to meet a dealer and one of the girls brother also an addict is there and standing outside his car seeming to be frantic. Well they just picked up and one guy got too high and was flopping out and not breathing at the Sunoco Gas station, so he was trying to get us to help him do something, and they are standing this guy up and he is like a limp doll and wherever the let go of him at he just falls over until they catch them, so they just put him up against the end of the car, face, stomach and chest on the trunk so he could be supported without falling to the ground, and through slapping and yelling at him he eventually came out of it a little and started breathing regularly enough for them to put him in the car and drive home.

I OD'ed on the floor once, and didn't even think I was that high, but just went to take a nap waiting on everyone ot get ready and next thing I know I am being yelled at by everyone and confused to why they are shaking me and screaming, it actually pissed me off since I thought I was having a good nap and I didn't believe them that they were giving me mouth to mouth and I had turned blue since I didn't feel that high at all.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: somahaoma on April 29, 2012, 12:18 am
I am really enjoying this look into an everyday "Small town" and the things that stay hidden, keep it up dkmonk :)
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on April 29, 2012, 12:48 am
The place where the dope is bought is the city which is probably about a million or two population I would assume, but it is fairly big with its own pro football and basketball teams and the state capital.

The town that I grew up in is about 50 minutes away from the city going the interstate it is about a 45 minute trip to get there, another 10 minutes to get to where you need to be, then dope waiting time which could be a few minutes to a few hours depending on who answers and if they want you to meet someplace or go to a place they are staying at (which is hardly ever since it is so nice to drive to them and they be there, because waiting sucks) Dope time should be a whole study of how time is measured. If the guy says 5 minutes you got at least 20 minutes minimum wait. If he is around the block or down the street 15 minutes or so. If they say they are on their way that means they have to shower, go to the grocery store, get laid and maybe grab a cheeseburger before they reach you. Not all dealers are like this but a good portion. You have to counter this by lying and saying you are at the spot as soon as you get in the city so that by the time it takes you to get there they will actually be close by and you only have to wait 20 minutes or so.

Also I have been off heroin for almost two years with about 6 individual relapses that were one time indents of getting high, but everyhting is still the same I went up with a friend while they bought some and shit hasn't changed beside the quality has went down a lot and there are a lot more dealers, but not as many good ones with weight and high quality product like before where you had about 6 or so solid dealers in your phone and they all had great No 4 heroin that was always one chunk grams broke off a massive chunk that they had that probably weighed a few ounces this a lot of times done in front of your, because they would carry that much dope because they would sell that much just going from person to person on a run.

Back then there were about three types of dope I remember that I had named, one was my favorite and I called it snappy dope, because no matter how small of a piece you broke off it snapped, and was solid as a rock very off white gray color with small air bubbles like holes throughout it.

The other was like beach sand that was very light brown and beautiful sandy color chunks that produced a a light gold see through color once drawn into the syringe that looked very enticing and made you want take a picture.

There was a multi colored light brown tanish dope that would be darker on the outside and lighter on the inside and have a more distinct vinegar smell, but definately chunks of powder No 4 heroin.

Now all the dope seems to be tar or tar mixed with powder and pressed into chunks to make it look like it is quality, but seeing real No 4 chunks of nice dope and seeing these copy tar mixture fakes is like day and night.
I guess it is like that everywhere and good No 4 powder is just not around anymore, and what is considered good dope today is what we would consider regular dope you got when you bought packs and not grams.

I hope I don't ramble too much, but there is just a lot about this particular subject I can share. I have a lot of experience with drugs, drug dealing due to my family and friends I grew up withs family all heavily involved in this trade which I became too, but that is another thread or post, and I have a very small bit of knowledge about the Mexican distribution from dating a girl for 5 years who was Mexican, and her sister's husbands family were very high up in different distribution networks through the U.S. and he would help out when needed for extra money and as a favor to his family, so I feel I can adequately give sound real life information about the things I know or experienced that most have never been around.

Feel free to ask questions and I will answer to the best of my knowledge as accurately as I can based on what I know and what I have experienced. Even if it is about other drugs or drug culture I might be some help.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: Limetless on April 29, 2012, 01:06 am
Yes, mainly the youth since all the people who became addicted were mostly in their late teens to late twenty's and were the same kids that used to just smoke pot and eat pills.

Heroin has caused a huge Hepatitis C outbreak, and a large portion of the people who use have it due to the pharmacy's in the town refusing to sell needles since I.V. usage became known and prevalent. The town keeps it hush and nothing is reported in the paper like, "Heroin on the rise" or "Another Youth Heroin Overdose"

I have had one friends house that at least has had the ambulance come 10 times for overdose, and nobody ever knows. Someone would come over buy a pack or two of dope get high and fall out then everyone would clean up while someone called the ambulance and leave until they were done getting the person out of there and to the hospital. Each time on the phone the caller would just say a friend came over went to use the bathroom and never came out so we checked on them, and had no idea what they did before they got to the house. I am sure thought after so many times plus the reputation of the people who lived at the house it wasn't hard to figure out what the deal was.

I have seen so many people OD it didn't phase me anymore and was just like, "Are you serious? Not again...." We started not letting people get high there as much unless they were a good friend who handled their dope well.

One time going up to the city with a few girls we stopped into a gas station to meet a dealer and one of the girls brother also an addict is there and standing outside his car seeming to be frantic. Well they just picked up and one guy got too high and was flopping out and not breathing at the Sunoco Gas station, so he was trying to get us to help him do something, and they are standing this guy up and he is like a limp doll and wherever the let go of him at he just falls over until they catch them, so they just put him up against the end of the car, face, stomach and chest on the trunk so he could be supported without falling to the ground, and through slapping and yelling at him he eventually came out of it a little and started breathing regularly enough for them to put him in the car and drive home.

I OD'ed on the floor once, and didn't even think I was that high, but just went to take a nap waiting on everyone ot get ready and next thing I know I am being yelled at by everyone and confused to why they are shaking me and screaming, it actually pissed me off since I thought I was having a good nap and I didn't believe them that they were giving me mouth to mouth and I had turned blue since I didn't feel that high at all.

Fuck me man that is an intense tale for a Saturday evening. Your experiences are really interesting and you tell them really candidly which I've gotta say is quite brave. I have to say as well though, the things you are talking about are definitely some of the reasons I would never try Smack.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on April 29, 2012, 01:23 am
I have had a good amount of time to really think about all the things I have done, and feel guilt and regret along with shame, and eventually came to accept that it was a part of my life, and that I shouldn't feel too bad for something I can't change, but just try to make up for it and do my best not to make harmful decisions that hurt myself and others around me. I understand and know that some people will be appalled by some things, and view me as a bad person, and this is understandable to me because they weren't there to fully comprehend the situation and mind set.

I feel being honest and open about the events in my life no matter how demeaning and bad it makes me look as a person helps me accept and not dwell on the past which I have done a lot before to only find that it causes low self esteem and anguish that I have created so much negativity in my life not only to myself but to a lot of other people, and have done things that are very low scumbag acts that should disqualify me to exist with normal society. It hurts knowing this, but is better to let some of it out, then try to push it all down and feel like a lie and fraud knowing that people would possibly not associate with me if they new 1/10 of the things I did in my past.

I am not that person and don't know why I ever was, because that isn't me or what my heart is like, so it is confusing for me to recall certain events and actually say to myself that I not anyone else did that, not some character or story I heard from a friend, but my own self.

Personally I would rather die then ever do some of the things I did again.  I try a lot to make amends in other ways even though I can't change the past it does make me feel like I wash away the bad sometimes.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: straliamate on April 29, 2012, 01:49 am
I have had a good amount of time to really think about all the things I have done, and feel guilt and regret along with shame, and eventually came to accept that it was a part of my life, and that I shouldn't feel too bad for something I can't change, but just try to make up for it and do my best not to make harmful decisions that hurt myself and others around me. I understand and know that some people will be appalled by some things, and view me as a bad person, and this is understandable to me because they weren't there to fully comprehend the situation and mind set.

I feel being honest and open about the events in my life no matter how demeaning and bad it makes me look as a person helps me accept and not dwell on the past which I have done a lot before to only find that it causes low self esteem and anguish that I have created so much negativity in my life not only to myself but to a lot of other people, and have done things that are very low scumbag acts that should disqualify me to exist with normal society. It hurts knowing this, but is better to let some of it out, then try to push it all down and feel like a lie and fraud knowing that people would possibly not associate with me if they new 1/10 of the things I did in my past.

This thread really speaks to me, thank you for sharing your experiences.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: LeisureLass on April 29, 2012, 03:06 am
Fascinating read.  Thanks.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: chino on April 29, 2012, 03:24 am
I have had a good amount of time to really think about all the things I have done, and feel guilt and regret along with shame, and eventually came to accept that it was a part of my life, and that I shouldn't feel too bad for something I can't change, but just try to make up for it and do my best not to make harmful decisions that hurt myself and others around me. I understand and know that some people will be appalled by some things, and view me as a bad person, and this is understandable to me because they weren't there to fully comprehend the situation and mind set.

I feel being honest and open about the events in my life no matter how demeaning and bad it makes me look as a person helps me accept and not dwell on the past which I have done a lot before to only find that it causes low self esteem and anguish that I have created so much negativity in my life not only to myself but to a lot of other people, and have done things that are very low scumbag acts that should disqualify me to exist with normal society. It hurts knowing this, but is better to let some of it out, then try to push it all down and feel like a lie and fraud knowing that people would possibly not associate with me if they new 1/10 of the things I did in my past.

I am not that person and don't know why I ever was, because that isn't me or what my heart is like, so it is confusing for me to recall certain events and actually say to myself that I not anyone else did that, not some character or story I heard from a friend, but my own self.

Personally I would rather die then ever do some of the things I did again.  I try a lot to make amends in other ways even though I can't change the past it does make me feel like I wash away the bad sometimes.


Dmok your words touch my heart. Even now  in the mid of my life i look back and i see people that i hurt directly or indirectly family, friends or even people i did not knew or knew little, and i feel a lot of shame. The times when i was hook and did things that now i see as demeaning or shamefull  (things that if you are not hook you will not do because they are not ethical) . Even if i wrote in my own mother tongue i couldnt explain so well like you. You nail the feeling brother.

I hope to  find the streanght or the balls like you to write or talk about it. I hope that i can accepted like you did because sometimes even now if feel guilt about it . I just will love to find the way to drop some of the guilt of the past, i am a different guy now.

Many years had past, many situations. I got kids now. What a life with happiness, with sadness, with failures, with few success, with problems, with solutions. Is the life my friend.

chino

P.D. : I am goind to check this post every day know, dmok

Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: Nero on April 29, 2012, 03:32 am
Thanks for your post Dkmonk. Its enlightening, interesting and heartbreaking to read.

Have you guys seen Trainspotting?

Does anyone else have stories to share? Chino?
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: funkynuts321 on April 29, 2012, 03:34 am
What a great read here DK. I have quite a few friends that are either recovering addicts, or have had relapses recently. I've never done anything major dope wise like coke, heroin or anything like that but I have always enjoyed hearing the stories. I'm from a very small town much like you, but way smaller. 3K people max, no wal-mart, sams, costco or anything like that so we actually had to drive at minimum 45 minutes. Dealers would come in and try to hole up in a hotel for the weekend to maximize profit, but they are almost so easily identifiable that the risk outweighs the reward for them since the cops are usually on them by day 2.

I now live in one of the top 5 largest cities in America, with over 5 million people. We have a pretty decent sized homeless population here to say the least. I typically go downtown once or twice a week to grab a bite to eat and like to sit in the park and either have a cigarette or share a subway sandwich and just listen to what some of them have to say. I've hear some amazing stories. Guys that once had everything and lost it all because of H. Most of these people just want to talk, just get shit off their chest and feel like a human being once again rather than someone societies left behind.

There are certain sections of the city that the cops just no longer fuck with. Dilapidated ass houses with 2 Escalade's parked outside and a revolving door of people going in and out. I had an aunt that lived in an area quite like this before she just left her house and moved it was in such shitty condition. They had running water every now and then, most rooms had no sheet rock on the ceiling or insulation, my cousin had his first kid when he was 13 and 4 more by the time he was 17 all with different girls. His brother was in a camaro full of people one night, all high off heroin and they tried to beat a train to get home and were so fucking high they ran dead into the side of one of the train cars. All of them died minus him, however he became a quadriplegic due to the accident and his heroin, coke and pill addictions multiplied. They had this large back room that was supposed to be a den but they converted it into a bedroom for him, but it was nothing more than a party room- behind it was a detached garage where fiends used to come and suck dick to get a fix. Eventually they started selling weight to be able to pay for home hospice for him since he had to have a nurse- I saw my first brick of coke here when I was 12 and a tupperwear tub full of bricks of weed as well.

My cousin had a crew of 12 guys he ran with back then. 10 of them are dead due to the game. My cousin that was bedridden died from an OD. The sad thing was there were 5 people in the room with him when it happened, but they were all so fucking high the nurse found him the next morning bloated up.

Thanks for starting this thread DK. I'm always interested in hearing, and sharing stories even though I'm not a big addict. Everyone has something interesting to say, and I am always willing to listen.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: sassafrass on April 29, 2012, 03:55 am
Very interesting stories DK and FunkyNuts

Me and my wife make poppy seed tea most weekends.  I find that is hardcore addicting in it's self, I can imagine H would feel just way to good.
I have considered smoking opium, but swore to my self I will never IV anything.

thanks for the stories bros
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: straliamate on April 29, 2012, 04:03 am
I abused opiates regularly for about 4 years.

I lost several 100k's, relationships, friends :(, almost lost my business(fucked it up severely), my health, my nice living arrangements... Eventually I could not walk anymore (due to another drug issue..) in what was the hardest time of my life, I was hospitalized, deprived of drugs, and (thank fuck) learned to walk again over a couple months.

Wish I stayed away, but I just had to try and "max out" every fucking drug that crossed my path, like it was my mission in life.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: funkynuts321 on April 29, 2012, 04:19 am
Very interesting stories DK and FunkyNuts

Me and my wife make poppy seed tea most weekends.  I find that is hardcore addicting in it's self, I can imagine H would feel just way to good.
I have considered smoking opium, but swore to my self I will never IV anything.

thanks for the stories bros

I've actually never had poppy seed tea before but have heard quite a bit about it. Smoking opium is an unbelievable feeling. A good friend of mine in college used to sell some amazing bud that he grew, I mean it was fucking amazing. One night he came in, rolled a small cigarillo and sprinkled a bit of opium in it. I felt like i was floating, I mean literally like there was a jet pack underneath my ass. Amazing feeling, but I have not touched it since then. I mainly stick to popping a few Norco's or something small. Since I have kids and a wife I can't do anything that will just inebriate me. Norco's still allow me to function.

I share the same promise as you though, I'd never IV anything in. I know the feeling will be too much and I'll chase it. I'd rather not even attempt it. Keep that promise bro- never breach it.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: sassafrass on April 29, 2012, 04:58 am
Poppy seed tea is kinda ridiculous, I mean we pay about 3 dollars for the seeds from the bulk section at the market, and it gets us both pretty fucking high for the whole night.

They put all this watch on booze and cough syrup, yet you can get super high off a bag of these seeds.

I might order some opium off SR, a jet pack ass sounds pretty awesome :)

Good to hear you keep your use responsible bro, respect that.
I'll keep that IV promise.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: deadfuture on April 29, 2012, 05:21 am
Great read dkmonk.  I'm glad you're clean now.  You're story has all sorts of elements from classic dope movies.  The depravity of housing situations from trainspotting (that crazy dead baby scene).  The waiting for the dealer and frantic break once they got there (like the shopping scene in Requiem for a Dream).  Also, the city full of teenage drug users as in the Basketball Diaries.

If you could find it in you.  I would love to hear a more detailed account.  Even a book or novella about your experiences.  Really shed some real life experience on the street dope scene.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: PBucket on April 29, 2012, 05:32 am
Dude DK you sound like you live in the state I live in. I think the stuff I get IRL is the pressed tar too haha. So different from Pharmerjohns, well kind of. Pj's is like glossy all the way through and shit is like 75%glossy with some other shit. It smells decent too and is actually not that bad. 150mg gets you noddin for a bit. Fucking I'm glad I just get shit off sr cause the street is just fucking crazy lol. I started off with Nuc's china,JD2012's and pj's tar, Psi's #3, and then the 2 different pebbles. And then the new dealers like Fanny,enterprise, and now QA. This tar i get irl is for sure the worst but when shit fucks up on SR and your WD'ing like a bitch, anything helps.

I love how your detail when you talk about fixxing. Seriously is spot on haha.

 It's seriously mind blowing how crazy life turns when you start IVinng LOL.

I can't imagine being in a crack house or drug house. Everyone all fucked up laying against the wall shooting up or noddin lol.

Can't wait to hear other stories.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on April 29, 2012, 05:51 am
I have plenty more to share about the heroin scene and my experience with it during those years and with that town (I live just 30 minutes away now in a different county, but heroin is basically non-existant and nobody uses it regularly just a few people snort it I have hear, but not daily or anything)

It is difficult for me to decide what all to post and what is too much information, not security wise, but too much as far as the reader being pissed off at some of the events and actions and writing negative things like I am a piece of shit and should die, because that has happened before on a forum when telling some parts of my life. I don't want anyone to get super angry with me even though it is just about past events some people get pretty offended about things even if they aren't that bad like killing someone or rape.

I just want people to read and get an idea of how a lot of people live daily, but not turn them off where they refuse to read more by detailing some of the down low and not so honest things, but providing enough of the past events to get the picture across without having to go into all the dark crevices.

It isn't like it matters if someone gets upset in reality since they are nobody I know, but it is never a good feeling to told the truth about your actions even in the pas, and I know I was a pretty shitty person, but it makes you think hard when someone else verifies that thought and expresses how bad they view you.

I have other facets of my life I can talk about too, the heroin addction is just a big part of my life that changed me and deeply affected how I am today. I honestly think I am more humble after going through it and recovering from being at such a low point to where I am at today being able to have a job, and enjoy being in my skin actually feeling good about my self on most days, and most importantly not chasing death and having respect for my life and actually want to live as opposed to wishing that something terrible would happen any moment so I would be dead or dumping a bunch of dope in the spoon and shooting up not caring if it may be too much since death seemed like something that would end all the stress and depression, so being afraid of it was not present, but I accepted that I could OD and welcomed it as that is how I envisioned the perfect ending to my life, and fantasized about how it would be just fading away into a nod and never coming back out of it.

I never personally would of believed if someone told me that I could enjoy life not high, and just have a good time doing normal things. That thought back then seemed so unreal and odd that not being high and pleasure/happiness can actually be achieved simultaneously, because I only associated happy with high.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: hatedpatriot on April 29, 2012, 06:40 am
Damn OP, yeah, I remember those times lol. Dude gives you an intersection and you go wait and watch hard, cause when he drives by you better be on his ass. Fuck, that was my routine every single morning for too long, 12 bags every single day minimum. I lost a successful business and everything else to the needle n spoon. I still partake, but I'm very careful to not get back where I was. If it werent for ibogaine I'd be dead. I was so sick of having to have that dope. I attempted overdose of everything I could find. Turns out my tolerance is ridiculous.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: funkynuts321 on April 29, 2012, 06:47 am
"I just want people to read and get an idea of how a lot of people live daily, but not turn them off where they refuse to read more by detailing some of the down low and not so honest things, but providing enough of the past events to get the picture across without having to go into all the dark crevices."

DK man feel free to go into it, no need to put a disclaimer on it. I'd rather hear it from someone first hand, with actual experience and regrets than watch some trumped up glorified version on Intervention brought to you by A&E and endorsed by Coca Cola, GMAC and Bank of America.

I have to ask though, have you been wanting to get this off your chest for sometime or what was your initial motivation to start the thread?

Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on April 29, 2012, 07:24 am
I have talked about it with friends who were there with me at the time, and my girlfriend who didn't know me during that period, but it is nice to just jot down different thoughts and things I remember in one thread, so that many people can read it and see how bizarre things can be sometimes. I am not trying to have any spin on it in a particular way, but only want to write how I remember feeling, so if on a certain point I felt cool and like I was going into some type of gangster movie when I was first buying dope and being in the city surrounded by all African Americans and how that gave me a rush and elite cool feeling since I grew up in a small almost all white town then that doesn't mean I am glorifying it, but that is actually how I felt at first like I was living out parts of a favorite rap song going and copping dope from actual dealers who possibly or probably were gang member is exhilarating and like an adventure when you have never been exposed to or around the inner city black environment.

There is also the opposite where I needed a needle so bad, because I forgot mine that I went around asking if anyone knew someone that had some I could buy which led me into an apartment building that was project housing and I got attacked by about 5 or 6 people once in the hall way and tried my best to get away, until I eventually was pulled down o the ground while being kicked and punched repeatedly while they stole my phone, land tried to get me to give them my dope but I handed them a crumpled piece of paper and kept my dope death gripped in my hand until some how I was able to get up real fast and break away running to the hall that was a dead end to someones apartment and being so frightened for my life or even worse to me at that point in time getting my dope stolen and not being killed, I ran right through someones apartment door busting it open and that is when the guys/kids who jumped me finally scattered and I walked back to the gas station where my friends had been waiting in my car this whole time, because I was damn determined someone would have a needle to sell me or knew where I could buy on at the gas station.

So, some parts of it seem fun and exciting, because they were, and I had great awesome memories on certain occasion, but about 1/3 of them are like this and 2/3 are not so glamorous and good feeling times.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: aligibbs on April 29, 2012, 10:36 am
dkmonk, thanks for sharing your stories, I find it really interesting and it's very authentic. I'm intrigued by authentic stories of addiction, particularly to Heroin. I feel that often the stories/documentaries/whatever we see are never quite on the mark.

I wondered how you got sober? I also wondered how you find being on SR with the temptation etc.?

As others have said above me, but I want to reiterate, I don't think you should worry about sharing your experiences candidly (providing you can retain your anonymity). I know I certainly wouldn't judge, and I'd like to think many people here wouldn't either. We've all done bad shit, some maybe worse than others, but who are we to judge others.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on April 29, 2012, 11:20 am
I finally got sober finally after I would hundreds of fake sobriety attempts were I new I wasn't going to last more than a week or two, but just enough for withdraws to go away and then I would hit the highway to get that good clean high you have after a few days of not using instead of being really sick and getting high which isn't as fun, because your miserable wanting dope where as after a week break you are driving up there and can't get there soon enough with butterflies in your stomach and such a giddy happy mood knowing your about to get high again.

Anyways, I finally stopped when my girlfriend at that time who was the only girlfriend I had and was probably 17 or 18 at the time and I was around 20 maybe 21, not sure but she she told me that if I ever did it again she would never speak to me and I knew she was serious. I didn't plan on that being the way, but for some reason I stuck to it and never went up, because it was almost a pride thing that I couldn't let her win and see me cave in, because that is what I felt she secretly wanted (we had a crazy relationship, and she was nuts so was I, and on top of that I got her on heroin too, so we both were to high to argue or arguing about me getting too high or me disapearing because she pissed me off and I didn't want to have to share my dope with her) 

I really struggled with it and would beg to just be able to get a pack or two just one time for months every few days, and would get so pissed off that she would get xanax that I would pay for since I bought her everything and get high but I wasn't allowed to do my drug of choice. I was so in love and use to having her as my girlfriend that it was scary and confusing for me to imagine my life without her since we had been together for 4 years and I moved out of my house and in with her when I was 17, so we actually lived together for about 3 years straight.  It was probably the most unhealthy relationship I could of had, and I think contributed to the drug usage that was so extreme and over the top. For fun we would get high, bad day get high, and in a fight I would leave and stay at a flop house with all my junkie friends and get absolutely dangerously high for a few days to show her I would do what I wanted and not to piss me off or she won't get to have any dope.

Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: aciddeath on April 29, 2012, 06:28 pm
this thread is really interesting

what would you say are some of the worst things you saw happen while on dope? I know you want to keep things R-rated about yourself but I imagine you might have seen some OTHER people do some really awful stuff

what was the closest call you had with the law?
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: demetri on April 29, 2012, 07:17 pm
Good read DKmonk I like how you tell it. It's sad to hear people living like that and horrible that dealers make money off peoples suffering.

OD seems to be common even with experienced users.. Am I right in thinking its because either heroin is cut with stuff so its hard to know what purity you're getting? I guess if some users switch dealers they might get a more pure supply and over it.  Is there a way to prevent this and test the purity of heroin? I guess though, serious hardcore addicts who need a fix don't really think about any of this.. maybe their judgement is a little when making up the syringe and that's how it happens.

There is a good film I recommend for anyone interested in heroin addiction.. It's called "More" made in 1969..Pink Floyd did the music...well worth a watch if you aint seen it.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on April 29, 2012, 07:25 pm
All the OD's I saw were because people were already super high, but insisted on doing more when they could barely keep their eyes open.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: demetri on April 29, 2012, 07:52 pm
Poppy seed tea is kinda ridiculous, I mean we pay about 3 dollars for the seeds from the bulk section at the market, and it gets us both pretty fucking high for the whole night.

They put all this watch on booze and cough syrup, yet you can get super high off a bag of these seeds.

I might order some opium off SR, a jet pack ass sounds pretty awesome :)

Good to hear you keep your use responsible bro, respect that.
I'll keep that IV promise.

I never tried poppy seed tea but I have done poppy pods plenty. My first intro to poppy tea was when I spotted a massive pile of poppies someone had dumped from their garden on some waste land. Although they had been there some time they were in not bad condition and so I ran home, got a carrier bag and got as many as I could. When I got back I washed them and blended up 4 pods and made some tea. I couldn't believe how high I got from some flowers someone had dumped near where I live lol. I tried dried pods bought online but those gave me too much nausea.

My real intro to opiates though, was tramadol. I got online on a private script from an online pharmacy and what they sent me was effervescent tramadol.. the big flat white tablets that just crumble and make water into fizzy lemonade. The euphoria and sense of well-being I would get drinking that was out of this world. It became a daily routine, I would get up, have my glass of tramadol and then i'd have a perfect day no matter i was doing. I did that for 6 months and they were the best 6 months ever. Ironically I was never and have never been in such good shape and condition as I was then. I would work out like a maniac on tramadol, lifting weights and running 4km daily and never get tired. It seemed to be the perfect drug, the opiate high, the amphetamine-like speedy stimulation and the anti-depressant mood lifting effect. When my supply of effervescent tram ran out I couldn't get them from the same pharmacy so had to get capsules and regular tablets. Nothing had the same effect as the effervescent variety and I just couldnt get that anywhere. So ended my love affair with tramadol. I never felt any withdrawal really or dependency, but man, the psychological craving that was something else. You try loads of drugs trying to get to the same place, but nothing seems to equal it. And everything is measured by it.
 
I used to buy codeine cough syrup which you can still buy legally online in UK.. 600mg codeine for like under £3 lol. Trouble is that stuff is dank to get down. All kinds of shit in there to stop you trying to drink it probably. 

 
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: demetri on April 29, 2012, 08:08 pm
While on the subject of opiate addiction has anyone ever read Confessions of an English Opium Eater? It was written anonymous by Thomas de Quincey around the mid 19thc. The ebook is available to read freely online just google it.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: ppass on April 29, 2012, 08:37 pm
dkmonk has a pretty damn similar experience as I. He/She even describe things in a similar manner. I used to use 3.5 to four OC 80s a day, this eventually became 3-4 bags a day (it was about the same around here). I used everything I got my hands on including but not limited to the aforementioned and usually about gram of okay coke. I became so sickened with my life that I realized I had already committed suicide of the mind and the body was soon to follow.
I one night had a revelation after too long that it was time to end.
I entered a Suboxone program for one year, about 1-1.5 down every month. I was sick for almost all of it. That factor almost helped me in a way as a familiar yet painful high which was similar to what I had left, but reminded me of what I needed to leave behind.
I have been off of Cocaine, Heroin, and any other Pharmeceuticals for 3 years. I smoke marijuana to deal with anxiety, and while fighting impulse almost everyday, (they get less over time) I manage to stay clean. Leaving "the scene" removes a veil, I've seen several friends die from overdoses, and while unsurprised by the event, it still cuts, as it could've been me.
Sorry to ramble and get off topic but this is my story. I am no longer a Heroin addict, but I experienced the Life and it is no life, its a living death.
As a recovering addict I probably shouldn't even be reading these war stories, but everyone needs to tell theirs.

-J
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: greatgreatgrandpa on April 30, 2012, 12:30 am
I still dabble in the dope a bit... But not like I used to.

Alleys became my way to get around the "hill" area east of downtown. I sprang a serious connect with some La Raza fuckers at a hippie bar one night. After years of sniffing Oxy's and coke. I hit wet rails of tar behind the 6th precinct parking lot of the city PD. I knew every alley, every window of every alley. I would wait early early early. These guys ( a crew in every sense of the word. they would rotate from phoenix, vegas, portland, houston, every 6 weeks or so) would work from 6am-6pm.  Some would work earlier to serve up the impatient methadone patients.  I would meet them at between 6 and 7 am, for the first hook of the day.

Some beautiful mornings, blissfully Opiated out. Dew on the grass, suburban moms setting out sprinklers, workers bees buzzing on city streets under elms, oaks, and aspens. The earth seems to sigh a wet breath of goodness as the sun begins to bake it. I would hit leftover wet rail of tar and maybe coke from the night before. Light a marlboro red, and step out in the day. I would have named a random block around 6th street. ( a divided beautiful suburban causeway, with a gorgeous canopy provided by black oaks in the median) that had many cross streets with city annexed alleys for utulity service trucks.My phone would ring and my heart would beat out of my chest. score a half g, make small talk, grab a .8 of blow, and tell him ill talk to him before lunch. He would make an off color joke about mexican women, and drive off. I would walk back to my garden level apartment, lay out a wet speedball in a tablespoon, and head to work. I worked at a place with booze and food,  and all morning, people would stop by with cash and an order, to be served after lunch by my latino deliveryman. I would meet up with him several times again throughout the day, with a last minute 6pm happy hour stop at the neighborhood bar. I could put anywhere from 3-4g of h and a ball of blow a day in my pocket, and would only pay for the first half of of h and the first short g of blow.   This went on for years and I never did any growing during that period. I only moved through life fucked up.

My life is much better, I never got sick but when I quit... but I am happy to be off the roller coaster of an opiate habit.

but after pj and tony come through. I will be fucked up for 4 days or so...
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: funkynuts321 on April 30, 2012, 05:35 am
dkmonk has a pretty damn similar experience as I. He/She even describe things in a similar manner. I used to use 3.5 to four OC 80s a day, this eventually became 3-4 bags a day (it was about the same around here). I used everything I got my hands on including but not limited to the aforementioned and usually about gram of okay coke. I became so sickened with my life that I realized I had already committed suicide of the mind and the body was soon to follow.
I one night had a revelation after too long that it was time to end.
I entered a Suboxone program for one year, about 1-1.5 down every month. I was sick for almost all of it. That factor almost helped me in a way as a familiar yet painful high which was similar to what I had left, but reminded me of what I needed to leave behind.
I have been off of Cocaine, Heroin, and any other Pharmeceuticals for 3 years. I smoke marijuana to deal with anxiety, and while fighting impulse almost everyday, (they get less over time) I manage to stay clean. Leaving "the scene" removes a veil, I've seen several friends die from overdoses, and while unsurprised by the event, it still cuts, as it could've been me.
Sorry to ramble and get off topic but this is my story. I am no longer a Heroin addict, but I experienced the Life and it is no life, its a living death.
As a recovering addict I probably shouldn't even be reading these war stories, but everyone needs to tell theirs.

-J

Hey man congrats on beating your addiction and being open enough to talk about it. It's funny you mention the end part that you shouldn't be reading these stories. I have a friend of mine that is a recovering addict, he's been clean for 15 years but recently fell off the wagon again for unknown reasons. Super smart guy- has 2 masters degrees and is a military vet but went through a very dark period in his life where he used to bang the shit out heroin, coke, crank, whatever he could get his hands on. He is a very intense person by nature, the guy drinks diet coke like he's fucking virgin pussy for the first time. Just hammers it down. He hasn't gone back to heroin or coke I don't think but he is smoking weed and taking X. I'm no therapist but I know for any recovering or former addict this can eventually lead him back into the hard shit.

I remember him telling me a story from when he was in his mid 20s, he had just discharged from the military and decided to vacation for 3 months in various parts of Costa Rica, banging coke and doing heroin non stop. When he was in the military he walked in at 240lbs of solid muscle (he also used steroids for a long period of time) and banged so much heroin and coke that when he stepped off the plane and back onto US soil he weighed 151lbs. He said his mother took one look at him and had a panic attack in the airport.

I had another cousin of mine who was married to a rather large drug dealer associated with one of the large Mexican gangs and she was always strung the fuck out which was sad because she had 2 beautiful boys who were both under 5. She never, and I mean never would jump on a motorcycle but apparently was on a 2 day heroin/coke binge and decided to do so. She was on the back of one, the driver was coming off freeway onto the feeder road and hit a pothole- it threw her off and she flew straight into a telephone pole breaking every bone in her body and killing her instantly. They had to wrap her body in multiple layers of gauze just to keep her together. I didn't even know who I was looking at when I walked up to the casket. What's even more fucked up is my aunt found out about it the next day in passing as they talked about it on the news. Her husband was eventually arrested for dealing and he gave legal custody to his mother and step-father. They were 2 and 4 when the accident happened, my aunt(her mother) didn't see them again until they were 19 and 17.

In typing this I realize just how much drugs fuck peoples lives up, and how many stories just like these there are out there.

IMO this thread is one of the best there has been on SR, or certainly has the potential to be.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: PBucket on April 30, 2012, 06:49 am
Hey d, maybe you should change this to life of an drug addict so we get more stories of different types of addicts.

Cause I then will have more stories LOl
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: skaface on April 30, 2012, 07:14 am
Thanks for sharing dkmonk,

and for everyone else following his lead to share with us.

There's always so much more than just the drug itself, they buy, the equipment, the location the people, seems some parallels can be drawn to deals for other drugs.
he unisue part for H seems the absolute need to score, and lengths to make it to a buy seem so very desperate,
I'm glad to experience it from the outside through the lives and eyes of others.

I hope you all can stay clean or at least in control.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: morva on April 30, 2012, 02:17 pm
thanks for the stories guys/gals. good read. i can relate, having a highly addictive personality. the only reason i haven't gotten addicted to H is because I have never tried it.


btw dkmonk, are you the same person on icmag?
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: anon493 on May 01, 2012, 03:54 pm

This is the best thread I've ever read on SR...


I want to tell my story too  but it's hard to write  it makes me upset
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: dkmonk on May 12, 2012, 04:14 pm
Sorry, my computer broke and so I won't be able to update for a week or so until I get a new one or arrange to borrow one.

I appreciate all the encouragements and it makes me smile that everyone is getting enjoyment and a glimpse of how some lifestyles are, so a better understanding and broader view of addiction can be understood and acquired.

I love this community and reading things like I have posted, so I wanted to provide my personal experience and give something back for education and personal enjoyment for the reader reasons.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: toelessJoe on May 13, 2012, 06:34 am
"IMO this thread is one of the best there has been on SR, or certainly has the potential to be. "


I read this thread very slowly. It really hits home with me.

Thanks for taking the time, everyone who posted.

I hope this thread will continue.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: bwompah on May 13, 2012, 07:01 am
Fascinating stories. Thanks to all who shared. Feel free to keep 'em coming if you guys have more.  I'd happily read them all. :)
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: funkynuts321 on May 13, 2012, 07:06 am
"IMO this thread is one of the best there has been on SR, or certainly has the potential to be. "


I read this thread very slowly. It really hits home with me.

Thanks for taking the time, everyone who posted.

I hope this thread will continue.

I'm with you Joe, I actually kept checking this thread after folks started sharing their stories and I'm surprised more people have not gotten involved. Just reading this thread alone is a bit of a headfuck. Makes you realize what can happen when drugs are not used safely and moderately, but that they can also be beaten. I was over a good friends of mines house today, shooting the shit and taking a break from a massive work week. He's got a friend that sales Oxy 30's, the IR version so I said fuck it and put in an order for 5. He makes mention about another friend of ours that was coming by to drop off some cash, apparently he has some people at work that will pay 2-3 bucks a MG. This friend of ours is currently taking Suboxone- at the height of his pill usage he was taking somewhere in the range of 15-20 10MG hydrocodone pills, which is fucking crazy. On the weekends he'd pop about the same in a day but he'd chase it with his favorite drink- Seagram's 7 and 7, and he'd drink this shit all day long. This guy is one tough son of a bitch, I've seen him fight guys the size of a tree and in 2-3 licks it was over with. At one point he tried to kick his habit cold turkey, just knew he could do it. Taking that amount daily, I can't imagine what the withdrawals must have been like. He rushed himself to the hospital cause it was too much and thus he eventually was prescribed subox. Anyway, I had to talk my friend out of getting him this requested amount, I just had a shitty feeling that these pills (30) that he requested were for him, and I'd hate to see him fall off the wagon. Luckily he did just that, and told him the guy ran out.

I have to say that I hope more people come in and share their stories, even if it's painful. I've read threads around here where folks are talking about just not wanting to continue on in life, etc. I know it hurts, but I have to say that if you are willing to share you story I have mad fucking love and respect for you. It ain't easy, but at the same time none of us here have the right to judge and shouldn't

Peace.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: toelessJoe on May 13, 2012, 09:00 am
Cheers, Funk.

I hope others will post their stories as well.

Not sure if mine would make good reading, but I do feel compelled as everyone else has contributed.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: sickofbash on May 13, 2012, 10:02 am
I've often thought I could write a book about my life  .... studying Chemistry with an addiction, being an addicted mum, working with an addiction ..... even being on the local fundraising team for the pre-school with an addiction! I keep it well hidden..... and have done for 20yrs!

One thing I can say, that I'm proud of, is that my mum and dad never knew a thing about my addiction.  They passed away in 2000 & 2001 ... and even tho' they sometimes may have wondered about my occasional strange behaviour, they would never have even considered H as the reason.

I'm half of an addicted couple - been together 21yrs - we became addicted together. I can still remember my first time - and I also remember an addicted friend saying "You REALLY don't want to be doing that!" .... and I WISH I had listened!!!

We (me and sickofbash) .... started off dealing quite quickly, as it became apparent that paying for a habit for 2 people was hard ... so we'd drive the 60 miles to London and sit in a squat that belonged to this guy we kinda knew from our town - he'd then go out for 30 mins,,, sometimes 3 hours which was unbearable when you're 'clucking' ...  :(  In the early days we actually managed to buy just 1g... see ourselves right for 1 day... sell enough for another gram and our petrol money back to London the next day to do it all over again!  Boy, how that changed!! In a couple of years our habits rocketed sky high, and we'd got to know the top Turkish & Iranian guys who'd 'lay us on' a kilo or two!!!  Sickofbash was a very suspicious person ... every car was an undercover police car - and the journey back from London with 2kgs was always a terrifying one!  We got pulled over just a few miles from home - and we thought 'well, that's it... they've been waiting for us' . To our amazement, they just asked if we'd seen any suspicious cars driving about - as they were looking for a pair that had just robbed a house nearby.   This was a bit of a wake up call - we'd got away with it for so long, maybe it was time to step down. Sickofbash was so worried that our door was going to come in the next morning that he hid the H out in the countryside,,,, and didnt go back to it for 2 days!!

All the time that sickofbash was selling ... I was holding down a normal job. I was a lab technician .... and loved it.  Thank goodness we dont have drug testing in the UK - I'd have been screwed then!  I'd go into the toilets at lunchtime, and smoke a bit on the foil - and spray air freshner everywhere! 

In a 15yr period I went into rehab 3 times - - something which I begged the local drug unit to help me get in to. (Each time promising it'd be the last!).  The longest I stayed clean for was a year .... but it is sooooo hard being part of an addicted couple. We'd try to stay clean together, but then one of us would fail - and then the other would follow. 

But, we did end up with a subutex prescription in the end.... stopped all dealing when our son was young .... and started our own company so that we never again had to ring in 'sick'!  I help out with the local pre-school, chat with the mums at the school gate, etc...  and sickofbash is well known as the local computer whizz,,, someone who will fix your PC for a small fee. We are friendly neighbours.... but keep ourselves to ourselves I guess.  Behind closed doors we take our Subs .... have a treat a week (thank you SR!) ... and wait til the kids have left home, so we can try and get off this awful stuff again!

This is just a summary ...  I think I've blocked the rest out, lol!

Regards,
Mrs sickofbash
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: promethean on May 13, 2012, 08:36 pm
You know I always tried to stay away from this topic but I never can seem to. My parents were using for decades before dying from it last year so the hit is still pretty hard when I read or hear about it or see other people I know doing it. So I can relate in a sense when I read the OP's post or other people's experiences with this drug because I saw firsthand what it did to them. I saw them shooting up. I saw them withdraw and attempt to get clean only to back to using to feel that high again. So thanks for the stories.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: sickofbash on May 14, 2012, 02:13 am
I'm so sorry to hear about your folks, Promethean   :(    I can kinda empathise.... mine died in 2000 & 2001, alcohol related. I think I was about 11 when I realised they were alcoholics.
But, seeing your parents shoot up, etc.... I cant even imagine .....

My son is 14 and my daughter 6 ... and that's why I have a script, so that my H addiction doesnt interfere with their lives. They dont know anything. If we ever have anything then we do it at a friends, or wait til they are fast asleep.  I'm not saying it doesnt affect them at all .... it does. If we didnt spend £80 a week on the private script then we could maybe afford to go on holiday ... or buy more things for the house.

Life's a bitch..........
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: funkynuts321 on May 14, 2012, 04:02 am
I have a brother and sister in law that were addicted to drugs for years, I mean full fucking blown. They lived in a trailer park, I mean an absolutely shitty trailer park and one night pulled off a stunt that had all kind of police looking for a couple described as "x" and "x". Long story short they hit in sewage drain for 2 days with nothing other than drugs and a few bucks and got stopped by the police as they were walking home two nights later. They simply asked them if they had seen the couple, completely oblivious to the fact that they were talking to them, lol. They did however take him in on an old warrant but she got off.

Their situation was so volatile though that it was unhealthy. They were given a car that was paid off and only worth about 3K but to a couple that is addicted to coke/crack/ and pain killers that's a goldmine. Literally right after they were given this vehicle by a family member they took it down to one of those car loan title places, had it appraised and took out what they could. They only got a loan or 1300 bucks but they went to see the D man and reupped. By the end of their binge he had put his hands on her, beaten the shit out of her and was on the run again from the cops. She ended up in a rehab program and he soon followed after he did his time in jail when the cops eventually caught up to him. They were eventually married in rehab, my mother in law was so beside her self that she could not bring herself to attend. They had a few relapses during the years that followed but they are now doing well and have been drug free (even marijuana) for about 2 years now, and are holding down legit wage earning jobs now.

In typing all of this I realize how many of the people around me have battled addictions. Some have lost but there have been the lucky few that beat it. I like to dabble in opiates like Norcos and some oxy from time to time. I've done a few other drugs but luckily I've always been able to tolerate and moderate my usage and limit it to 4-5 norco's a night which I know is extremely moderate. Still I feel like I have to share these stories as I have a shitload of them and it may hit home for those reading.

Thanks to all.
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: aligibbs on May 14, 2012, 07:53 am
I'm glad people are posting more experiences now, thanks guys. I've been following this thread since it started and am pleased it's been revived.

Mrs. sickofbash - I feel like you've posted a lot of information that could be used to identify you (you live 60 miles from London, children's ages, occupations, dates of parent's deaths, etc) - just wanted to point it out (especially if your other half is paranoid :) )
Title: Re: The Life, Way, and Habits of a Heroin Addict
Post by: icculus97 on May 14, 2012, 05:34 pm
i had dabbled in opiates for years just on occasion whilst seeing a few close friends battle addiction and always told myself that i'd never let it get that bad. i was able to get my hands on oc's for really cheap and kept it very casual, maybe once a month. i always had a side hustle with nugs and psychedelics and was always more into them than opiates. i then moved away for university in a big city and kept it cool for about 2 years, but then i found a great connect for pharms and started selling those as well. xannies and roxys were available to no end, and opanas were around once a month so i set out to make a fortune. "it's the crack of the white community" i said to myself at first, after making a solid customer base. but then i found myself slowly delving into them more and more. i'd eat half a bar and ride around slinging blues and end up munchin on one to make the day awesome, and then it started to happen more and more often. fast forward a few months and i was smoking roxys every day, and barely clearing enough to reup and cover my out of control partying costs. after a few months of this, i got sick of smoking them as it just gave me a headache and it was starting to become a hassle to even get them as my connect wasn't so wonderful anymore. i was really dealing with some shady people. i had already shot them a few times and wasn't a fan of the high it gave me as i thought it was weak so i figured i'd try the real shit out as i had a few clients who could get it at their disposal. i had just gone through a tough breakup as well so i had a very "fuck the world" attitude about myself. queue in another 3 months and i have really gone downhill, spending $500 a day on dope and scrambling all over the city to sell out half and get my money back. the hardest thing to do would be to leave a shots worth for the morning to get outta bed, it was completely pathetic. many days i would lie in bed blowing up my dealer til around noon if he didnt show up and then it was really off to the races as WDs would begin to precipitate. i sold off a lot of my posessions for dope, i lost a house to live in over dope, i had to move halfway across the country to a new place knowing no one over dope, i lost a lot of friends, i burned a lot a bridges, i made people cry, i acted like an insane person, but i made a few good friends and looking back at it i'm glad i got out of all of that and am in a better place now. i don't know if i'll ever be able to stop doing opiates altogether for good, and i sure as hell don't know when i'll ever get over loving the sensation of firing up a spoon, drawing a nice register and then slamming that plunger down, but i do know that i'm able to manage my life without it and that my use is under control now and i've learned more than enough from those mistakes.