Silk Road forums
Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: anom on February 18, 2013, 07:06 am
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Rules are: only post funny stories, jokes, etc.
Ill start off
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose
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Q: What did the one gay magic mushroom say to the other gay magic mushroom?
A: How's it going fun guy?
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Q: Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
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Q: What do you get when you take acid and birth control pills?
A: A trip without the kids.
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Q: What is the worst thing about having snorted way too much meth?
A: You have to hold the jet when you take a leak.
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Q: What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute ...
A: ... A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
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Q: What do you get if you swallow 10 kilos of cement?
A: Stoned.
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Why does jesus hate you?
Because he died for your sins.
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What did the cow say to The creator of life?
Thanks for the mammaries!
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What did the doctor say to the old lady?
I'm sorry but the results came back positive...YOU'VE GOT CANCER!
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Two apples were hanging around smoking.
The first apple turns to the other and says "Dude this weeds gettin me trippin"
The seconds responds with "FUCK MAN, A TALKING APPLE!"
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Of all the utensils that were invented to eat rice with...
How the fuck did two sticks win?
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My dream job of driving trucks in Australia turned into a nightmare when I broke down in the outback hundreds of miles from civilisation.
After three days the water ran out and started drinking my own urine. After another three days I could no longer recycle my piss and realised I was out of options and had to accept the inevitable.
So I opened some of the Fosters I was delivering.
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My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila.
"You're coming home now!" she screamed.
"No I'm not." I laughed.
She said, "I'm talking to the kids."
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Q: Whats a bears favourite cheese?
A: Come on bear....
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I was late coming into work again and the boss was furious.
She called me into the office and said, "What's your excuse this time?"
"Slept in," I shrugged.
"For fuck's sake, at least tell me something I haven't heard before!"
I replied, "You're looking lovely today."
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serg
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50
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Sometimes I wonder why that Frisbee is getting closer, and then it hits me.
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50
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Gay jokes aren't funny. Come on guys!
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A state trooper sees a speeder with only 10min left on his shift while heading back to the station and attempts to pull him over. The car is an older sedan and doesn't stand a chance to outrun the officer but makes attempts lasting about 2min. The gentleman pulls the vehicle over and the officer runs the license plate and sees that the owner is an elderly man with no violations on his record. He approaches the vehicle and ensures the gentleman driving is the owner, and it is. He tells the driver that he only has 5min left on his shift, and that if he can give him a reason as to why he was speeding that the officer has never heard before he will let him go with just a warning. The old man thinks about it for a few seconds and says "My ex-wife ran off with a state trooper a couple of years ago, and I thought you were trying to bring her back." The officer hands him back his license and tells him to have a great day.
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Numero 10 (Please do away with the 50 post limit) or at least remove the Warning message that others have posted while I am typing!
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;D
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Nailing those posts to the wall
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An Irishman walk out of a bar...
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There was a movie where Bruce Lee kicked Chuck Norris's ass.... It used the most expensive special effects in any movie ever
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I want 50 posts
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almost there!
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Guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"
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This is soooooo much fun! :o
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Weeeeeeeee!
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I like it!
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Q: Whats brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
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weeeeeee
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:D
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How do you get four gay people on one barstool?
Turn it upside down
BA DUM DUM PSTTTTT
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Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
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Double your pleasure, double your fun, take one in the pussy, and one in the bum.
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This is soooooo much fun! :o
OK so fun might have been an overstatement, but its better than talking to yourself
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Your mother is so fat it is affecting her self esteem.
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Two cowboys walk into a bar because they want to drink away their sorrows.