Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: GoodShitExplorer on January 19, 2013, 12:37 am
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Junk
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i stabbed their stomach and proceeded the have sex with the stab wound.
no, jk :D
anal sex is as far as ive gotten it
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True Story...
I was having an affair with this great little girl. We would sneak out when my girlfriend wasn't around or I could leave on some errand and would just go to town fucking all the time.
One night, I met up with her for a few minutes after telling my girlfriend I was going to get her some food. The girl I was having the affair with really wanted me to go down on her in the back of my truck but after making out for a few minutes we both agreed it was time to fuck. I needed to get home pretty quick and foreplay just wasn't on the calendar. So we fucked. And it was good. And when I went to pull my pants back up I noticed it was covered in brown shit.
Now I liked this girl.
We had fucked a lot.
I was pretty sure I knew the difference between her vagina and her ass hole.
I mentioned my shit covered dick to her.
She did one of those... "Oh my god!" sorts of faces.
I was like "What?"
She said... "Remember how I wanted you to go down on me?"
I nodded.
She continued "Before we started I put a Hershey Kiss in pussy, thought it would be sexy for you to eat my candy coated pussy..."
I spent about 30 minutes in a Burger King bathroom trying to wash the smell of sex and chocolate off my cock and clothes before eventually coming home and offering my girlfriend a bag full of food and hoping that I didn't still smell like I had just fucked a chocolate Santa.
The moral of the story, if there is one, is probably that if a girl ever asks you eat her pussy it might be in your best interest to do so.
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That shit was tooo good rofl. Hahahhaha.
You can't really follow that up, but one time my "best friend" and his girl and my girl and I were all rolling REALLY hard one night. My girl NEVER wants to go anywhere when she's rolling (and neither do I really, but.. well you'll see). Well, it just so happened that we didn't even have any bottled water, cigars, glow sticks, vicks, etc. lol, so I knew I was too fucked up to drive and knew how much I sold them. I asked his girl if she would drive to the store. I meant everyone honest to goodness, but it ended up being just the two of us on the way to walmart at 2 am. This girl was fine. A ten. I could never date her, but I fucked her right that night in my car in the public park. Well, anyhow I didn't really feel bad, especially after her phone rings and it's her boyfriend (my "best friend"). I wouldn't really call it a pocket dial, but he sure did not know he called whilst fucking the shit out of my girlfriend. What are friends for, eh? Well, we are both fucking pissed (despite having done what they were doing long before the phone call lmao) and fucking speed off without even checking out. We get there, storm in, they are still fucking. At this point, I'm furious ready to shoot this dude, but this girlfriend of his had other plans (as she started rolling progressively harder ha) and took her clothes off and hopped in. Dumbfounded, I went in the other room for a minute when my naked ass friend runs in and says,"what the fuck are you waiting on?" Therein, I went. :-D To this day I don't know if the other couple planned it from the start. I'm always paranoid, so it could very well be true or nothing even close lol. Either way, good times...sigh..
Take care,
GYF
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That shit was tooo good rofl. Hahahhaha.
You can't really follow that up, but one time my "best friend" and his girl and my girl and I were all rolling REALLY hard one night. My girl NEVER wants to go anywhere when she's rolling (and neither do I really, but.. well you'll see). Well, it just so happened that we didn't even have any bottled water, cigars, glow sticks, vicks, etc. lol, so I knew I was too fucked up to drive and knew how much I sold them. I asked his girl if she would drive to the store. I meant everyone honest to goodness, but it ended up being just the two of us on the way to walmart at 2 am. This girl was fine. A ten. I could never date her, but I fucked her right that night in my car in the public park. Well, anyhow I didn't really feel bad, especially after her phone rings and it's her boyfriend (my "best friend"). I wouldn't really call it a pocket dial, but he sure did not know he called whilst fucking the shit out of my girlfriend. What are friends for, eh? Well, we are both fucking pissed (despite having done what they were doing long before the phone call lmao) and fucking speed off without even checking out. We get there, storm in, they are still fucking. At this point, I'm furious ready to shoot this dude, but this girlfriend of his had other plans (as she started rolling progressively harder ha) and took her clothes off and hopped in. Dumbfounded, I went in the other room for a minute when my naked ass friend runs in and says,"what the fuck are you waiting on?" Therein, I went. :-D To this day I don't know if the other couple planned it from the start. I'm always paranoid, so it could very well be true or nothing even close lol. Either way, good times...sigh..
Take care,
GYF
Yeah ecstasy is great for expanding the boundaries of ANY relationship! I actually went from near stranger to soul mate with the girl mentioned above over about 12 hours and 10 tabs of the stuff. I thought it was the coolest thing ever that I was doing drugs with this girl and she would just start playing with her pussy mid sentence until she came and continued talking...My pre-drug life simply hadn't prepared me for that level of sexual expression... Long Live Drugs!
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This isn't really a sexual act as much as it was a series of them. I decided to do online dating a while back, and apparently I'm not bad with online dating. I decided to see how many different women I could have sex with in a row within 24 hour of each other. I made it to 7 days straight with someone different.
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You need to get tested bro.
;D
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First coupon I ever made in my life, was for Trojan condoms. True story.
I might have hit 8, but I was physically exhausted with it.
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I almost feel less adequate. lol. most I've done was anal sex, pulled out to find poo on it. she was kind of embarrassed so she immediately took off my condom and we had vaginal from there. I ended up not even being able to finish though cuz the memory of poo on my dick, lower stomach, and around her butthole. plus the smell. It was just a little bit of poo...but enough. See always wear condoms for anal. IMO, as not being a porn star at least.
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Wait... just so I get this one right in my head. She pulled off the condom and then you proceeded to have vagina sex raw?
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yeah. hehe. She's my gf and I'm close to her and all. we had more successful sex later that day. (hopefully my current anonymous techniques prevent her from ever reading this. lol.) when she was all "ew, I'm sorry," I replied with "hey, shit happens." Then she said "butts are just gross," to which I said "no ifs, ands, or butts about it." I SWEAR! I thought of those on the spot. I'm still rather proud of myself for that.
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All right... one more... you need to understand, I used to be a frisky little fucker... the good old days.
Was living in a nameless mountain state from which a drive to Nevada provided an opportunity for gambling and debauchery in exchange for a two hour car ride. This young lady and I got it in our heads that it would be fun to drive out to the isolated gambling oasis that served the border between our two states. Think desert for hundreds of miles around and then five mid-sized casinos with a tiny town to support them.
We nearly made it to the welcoming arms of of this desert town and the hundreds of empty beds in it's many hotel rooms but at some point, about ten minutes away, we got it in our head we needed to fuck right then.
But we are in the desert.
On the interstate.
Flat for hundreds of miles around.
Still, we were young and the call of nature was upon us.
So we got off the interstate and pulled over for some love. Her dress was over her head and I we were doing the down and dirty as the stereo blasted whatever CD we had in at the moment.
At this point I need to apologize to you all. Not all of my sexual adventures have this twist... just the weird ones I guess that others seem to share.
Midway through our sex I noticed this girl was clearly on her period and we were creating one hell of a mess in this tiny two seater in which we were fucking. Like any man in his twenties with a hot blonde bouncing on his cock I ignored the bloody mess and went to town...
Until there was a knock on my window.
We had driven through the late night and into the morning. The air was cold and our sex was hot. The windows were fogged over save for an impassioned hand print left by my partner. The knock came as a surprise and my girl rolled into the passenger seat in a frenzied effort to re-attire herself. With my hard red cock still hoisted proudly I rolled down the window and turned down the stereo to address the officer now looking intently inside the vehicle.
"Mind if I ask what you two are doing?"
"Sorry officer, we just pulled over to... well... to fool around."
He looked at my girlfriend, at that moment she had her dress over her head exposing stomach to toe her nakedness. I tried to adjust my clothing but it had become tighter since last worn and was proving difficult to adjust back into. I eventually succeeded, my girlfriend eventually succeed. We sat now clothed but still a little breathless in a fogged over car that stank of sex and the officer finally said:
"I don't believe you. I think you two are up to something"
I had no answer for the man. No understanding of what else we might have been doing there. His hand was still on his gun. I was starting to worry. Eventually he continued:
"You know why I'm here don't you?"
I shook my head.
"You're stopped on the middle of an overpass, blocking access to the only gas station on the highway for any trucks going the other way. There are five semi's backed up to the interstate because there's no room to get by you."
It was at that moment I started taking things in. It was dark when we started and dawn was now upon us. The road was indeed an overpass and we were quite squarely in the middle of it. Looking in the side view mirror, now exposed with the window rolled down I could see the trucks. If they had honked I missed it.
Eventually the officer decided that we were not "up to something" and kindly let us go... with a $75 obstructing traffic ticket.
As he was about to walk away, I had one more question:
"Excuse me officer, but... do you know anywhere near by we could finish?"
Honest to god, the man pointed down the road and said anywhere down there should be fine.
An hour later we were done, our dreams of a day in the casinos dashed by a bloody dress and hours of roadside sex.
Since I think all good stories should have a moral I guess this one is simply that when you decide to have sex on the side of the road you should ALWAYS make sure you are actually on the side of the road or a bunch of angry truckers will call the cops on you.
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Police caught me having sex in the church driveway after midnight.