Silk Road forums
Discussion => Philosophy, Economics and Justice => Topic started by: wackmanblu on October 13, 2012, 11:44 pm
-
Title says it all. No matter what your drug of choice - weed, alcohol, opiates, stimulants or psychedelics - do you think you've got it under control?
Have you ever found yourself saying " whoa, I gotta slow this shit down.."
I'm just curious since I want to think that adults can handle what they choose to do. But also if people are honest enough to say otherwise.
-
I've never had a substance abuse problem, but as we all know, there are definitely a lot of people that do not have any self control. What about yourself brother?
-
For myself I think I've definitely walked the line a few times. As a kid I let it get the best of me. I quit drugs for years, like 20 years.
Recently I've started smokin' weed again and loving it. I feel that when I was young I couldn't handle it but now that I'm older and wiser and more sure of myself I see positivity in responsible drug usage.
What say you?
BTW - that oil laden joint was fan-fucking-tastic!
-
I've always had a good head on my shoulders, so I've always been able to tell myself when enough is enough. Plus, the more you abuse drugs, the less special and wonderful they become. So I've always told myself moderation is key. Without moderation, drugs are no fun and can potentially ruin lives.
-
I've always had a good head on my shoulders, so I've always been able to tell myself when enough is enough. Plus, the more you abuse drugs, the less special and wonderful they become. So I've always told myself moderation is key. Without moderation, drugs are no fun and can potentially ruin lives.
Hey, something we agree on bro. Weird.
Moderation is key.
Anyone ever just fuckin' let go entirely and go on an extreme drug binge bender? How'd it end for you? Any regrets or would you do it again?
-
Yup, once a year I go on a three day MDMA binge for a certain festival. I always feel fine after though. Just incredibly sleep deprived and hungry. Yourself?
-
Nope, I can't afford to binge out. I have a family that relies on me. I remember being so free that it didn't matter what I chose to do. Wait until you have kids, that'll change your perspective. Now everything I choose to do, I also consider my family.
A huge change in outlook but one that most 'sane' people adhere to.
-
I'm too selfish for kinds, I love being young, wild and free. Wish I could stay this way forever.
-
Absolutely not. I'm a binger. The only thing keeping me alive is that my binges are so extreme that when they are over I can't even look at any drug without getting sick to my stomach.
It's a shame really. 3 times in my life I made shooting star career moves just to fuck them up with some extreme binges. It doesn't help that I only like moarrr'ish stimulants either.
I was really wondering why I do this shit and did the research, even talked to a therapist trying to find out why I can't moderate. The most likely reason is that I was born a heroin junkie. Fuck you mom. Most likely my dopaminergic reward circuit is fucked up due to that which in turn makes me lose control as soon as I get substance in me.
Hell I am even stupid enough to do away grams of MDMA in one night, which is obviously as close to retarded drug use as can be.
Nowadays I limit myself to MDMA and weed, so at least I won't disappear on 2 week coke binges anymore.
Hey, we are all damaged somehow, rite?
-
Not at all and if I was I wouldn't enjoy it so much. FML who the fuck wants to think like an old bastard?
-
Hell no. I consume caffeine until I can only think in zigzags and then do all kinds of crazy shit all day long.
-
Hell no. I consume caffeine until I can only think in zigzags and then do all kinds of crazy shit all day long.
You need to head over to coffeeholics anonymous son!
-
I'm too selfish for kinds, I love being young, wild and free. Wish I could stay this way forever.
Dude, enjoy this status as long as you can. Milk it for all it's worth. You are truly only young once.
But don't be afraid to recognize when it's done. You won't be 20-something forever and it's ok to grow up. Responsibility is cool. I have a great life with my family and they are the number 1 priority for me. As has been said before - with great freedom comes great responsibility.
-
Absolutely not. I'm a binger. The only thing keeping me alive is that my binges are so extreme that when they are over I can't even look at any drug without getting sick to my stomach.
It's a shame really. 3 times in my life I made shooting star career moves just to fuck them up with some extreme binges. It doesn't help that I only like moarrr'ish stimulants either.
I was really wondering why I do this shit and did the research, even talked to a therapist trying to find out why I can't moderate. The most likely reason is that I was born a heroin junkie. Fuck you mom. Most likely my dopaminergic reward circuit is fucked up due to that which in turn makes me lose control as soon as I get substance in me.
Hell I am even stupid enough to do away grams of MDMA in one night, which is obviously as close to retarded drug use as can be.
Nowadays I limit myself to MDMA and weed, so at least I won't disappear on 2 week coke binges anymore.
Hey, we are all damaged somehow, rite?
We're all a little damaged for sure bro. How do you manage to keep it together enough to function day to day.
Personally I do kind of binge one day every couple of weeks when I know I have time away from my kids. I don't really want them to see me messed up.
-
I have the wrong personality type for the growing stash of drugs I have tucked away in my room. Among my friends, I'm known as the idiot who always takes a shit ton of drugs and gets really, really high. At a rave one time I snuck in 25 pills, planning to sell them, but ended up taking something like 23 of them and giving away two. luckily, they were almost all piperazine and speed (purple batman) but I spent a good week or so paranoid as fuck, randomly blacking out, having long gaps in memory, and twitching. My heart beat was fucked up fast for a few days. The second day my friends found me hiding in a bush (I was there for 6-7 hours) freaking out about how the government was looking for me, and I actually believed it too. At one point, I was seriously contemplating suicide.
Thankfully, I have never been hospitalized or developed (or exposed) any mental disorders. Honestly, I feel like if it were to happen, I would deserve it, at least to teach me a lesson.
However, I am lucky enough to have friends that are always there to tell me I'm fucking up if I'm fucking up.
I'm a lot better at catching myself before I slip now. I like to think of it as maturity that's developed over the years, but really, it's mostly out of necessity, as I have things that take priority over drugs going on as well (college, friends, relationships, etc.)
Oh, I like stimulants. coke, speed, and mdma. never really had a problem with weed like many people my age, I actually really hate the high.
-schmuck
-
Absolutely not. I'm a binger. The only thing keeping me alive is that my binges are so extreme that when they are over I can't even look at any drug without getting sick to my stomach.
It's a shame really. 3 times in my life I made shooting star career moves just to fuck them up with some extreme binges. It doesn't help that I only like moarrr'ish stimulants either.
I was really wondering why I do this shit and did the research, even talked to a therapist trying to find out why I can't moderate. The most likely reason is that I was born a heroin junkie. Fuck you mom. Most likely my dopaminergic reward circuit is fucked up due to that which in turn makes me lose control as soon as I get substance in me.
Hell I am even stupid enough to do away grams of MDMA in one night, which is obviously as close to retarded drug use as can be.
Nowadays I limit myself to MDMA and weed, so at least I won't disappear on 2 week coke binges anymore.
Hey, we are all damaged somehow, rite?
We're all a little damaged for sure bro. How do you manage to keep it together enough to function day to day.
Personally I do kind of binge one day every couple of weeks when I know I have time away from my kids. I don't really want them to see me messed up.
Well functioning day to day works okay, I just don't use anything, not even a drink after work. If you have lived your life like I did, you don't see a line and think oh that would be nice now. You see a line and think "oh shit, 3 days geek-out with 2 days miserable hangover". That makes that line much less enticing immediately.
Many out of control druggies look at some drug and delude themselves that they will be moderate this time, just a little line!. I dun have the capacity to tell myself that anymore because I know now deep down inside that if I get that ball rolling it'll have to run its course all the way. So nowadays I have to be in the right mindset and have disposable time to say fuck it, lets go Fear and Loathing all the way :)
It works out most of the time. Just sucks looking back thinking man I pissed away more opportunities in about 5 years than some people get in a lifetime. But oh well, I'm a bigger man for it :P Not complaining.
-
NOPE!
hahaha, I suppose I haven't gotten myself into any trouble, only make an ass out of myself in front of my friends/coworkers. but half of them are usually blotto as well.. (more than half).
I try to keep it social, quit for weeks on end when real life priorities prevail. Always make sure I'm taking recommended dosages, many of which are either prescribed or have been prescribed in the past. I try to be very liver/kidney/heart/brain conscious and overall aware that I could end up dead if I fuck up.
...still probably end up in a 12 step program at some point tho lol ::)
-
Not until I was 24 or 25...You know if they legalized drugs I hate to say it but you should be the age to rent a car to be able to buy hard shit cuz I was off the chain...I know people would still get there hands on it but it certainly would slow down its use for minors..(Coke,Dope,Etc)
-
As an SR vendor I'd be royally fucked if I wasn't responsible :P I rarely do drugs anymore aside from weed and alcohol. Just don't have the time, or the friends that are into it anymore. Seems like my friends that I did drugs with all went to one extreme or the other and getting fucked up all the time was never my thing. Not to mention even moderate drug use fucks with my emotional stability somewhat and its nice to be level headed.
-
I like to think that I am, but I'm really not... :P
-
As an SR vendor I'd be royally fucked if I wasn't responsible :P I rarely do drugs anymore aside from weed and alcohol. Just don't have the time, or the friends that are into it anymore. Seems like my friends that I did drugs with all went to one extreme or the other and getting fucked up all the time was never my thing. Not to mention even moderate drug use fucks with my emotional stability somewhat and its nice to be level headed.
Wise man. When I still used to hustle I had a strict "No using when stocking stash" rule.
-
I consider weed a hell of a drug. I spent more or less four years of my adolescence high, supply was no problem due to a growing "friend" of mine. I stopped when I went to college and then realized how badly weed changes my thought processes and self awareness. Just ordered some of Charas last week and had to throw the rest of the g away in disgust. It made me paranoid. But everyone's product would ;)
Long story short, during my four year binge I could not see what I was doing to myself but now I can. I think I won't smoke weed for the rest of my life. Thanks to the road I had the chance to explore LSD and MDMA and the latter is my favorite at the moment. After my first roll I encountered a different perspective on other people, even when I came down again. I am more open and relaxed now in social situations and I have a very positive outlook.
The road and Erowid, if you want to give something back contribute them a buck ;), have really given me the choice and responsibility for my drug use. I still have the voices of my clueless teachers ringing in my ears talking sermon about how bad Ecstasy is... Those ignorant fools. What person would I be today if I had had these possibilities ten years earlier?
I think with experience comes responsibility. We all make our mistakes here and there. Usually we learn from them, and grow with them.
-
Yes, I am a responsible drug user thanks for asking!
-
I am the all-time responsible drug user - it's part of my general personality - I never fuck without protection, never drink too much, and never go in the sun without sun block on. Actually, this isn't true, because I've done all three of those. I regret the first and the third, but not the second. Regretting the ones that may cause HIV and cancer respectively, but feeling fine with the one that doesn't do any harm if performed once in the blue moon, is a sign of responsibility. I also don't think that responsible drug use is always clearly defined. It's simple to say that as long as you can function and care for yourself you are responsible, but if that's the definition, then are you a responsible if you're addicted to sleeping pills? I know a lot of people who would say no. But what's the big deal really? What's the harm in taking a pill to be able to sleep each night? I've never been addicted to anything and wouldn't know. Perhaps you just need more and more and then you can't sleep without overdosing and that wouldn't be responsible. Either way, I think I fit well within the responsible drug user limits, not even close to a border case. I have so many other things to focus on that I don't have enough time to use drugs irresponsibly. In other words, I put school (and obviously also things that matter more than school) before drugs, and that's what makes me responsible.
-
"Every day, in every way, I'm fucking up my life."
A little motto of mine. ;)
-
Definitely. I smoke cannabis once to twice a week recreationally with a few of my friends. I never smoke or drink alone as I feel that is the first step to addiction. Cannabis is the only recreational drug I have ever tried, I am however interested in trying LSD and psilocybin. While cannabis is just for fun, I feel the latter two would open my mind to a whole new perspective of reality and cognition.
-
Personally, my drug usage isn't what most would consider 'hardcore'. In my youth I experimented with much harder stuff and if anything I learned my limits. I have an addictive personality and now in my adult years I know what to avoid and more importantly when to indulge. Some one said earlier (I think it was johnwholesome) that when given the opportunity he goes all-out "fear and loathing". I completely understand this answer. To me it says that when you aren't expected to be at all responsible or accountable in the next day or two (or three) you can go crazy. There's a bit of guilt and self-hate, but even more - there's excitement, interpretation and fear of such anti-social activities - I'm damaging myself even more but I love it!
I've stayed at home alone all weekend binging. I mean like not going outside from Friday night until Monday morning, until work duty calls. These weekends I consider 'lost' in that they are completely self-indulgent. I loose touch with whatever happens during those 2 or 3 days in the world at large. I appear at work on Monday morning (sometimes worse for wear) and no one is the wiser. If only they knew what truly makes me tick, who I am when no one is watching. I"m not evil, but I do things no one would ever expect of me. Ha!
Having said all that, I believe that I'm not the only person to indulge this way. Knowing what I know about this occasional lifestyle I get the feeling that there are others in my midst. One day we'll all come clean and admit that we do what we do not because we're bad people, but because we all need to let go of reality sometimes and see what else lies on the frontiers of this life. It is a selfish choice and we're all capable of going there.
-
Our bodies have specific nerve receptors that are specifically designed for cannabis and opiates. So , consequently i make sure to take both daily ! My use of medicinal plants has made me "more" intelligent and has set me "free". And i am an old fart pushing 70 and these things have "always" been part of my life. Used moderately and intelligently drugs can only benefit your life as well as "set your mind free". Moderately and Intelligently !
-
I've never let myself get out of control with anything, except maybe alcohol. I think I have a strong sense of awareness about my use as well as when it's time to cool off. There was a time when I used to use coke to break opiate habits, and vice versa but that hasn't been a problem in years, really.
I have had my share of irresponsible drug use, especially when younger (don't recommend datura while rolling and drunk to anybody!) but now, as with most other aspects of my life as I get a little older, I am more responsible and not as naive. I have always done a lot of research before taking a new substance, and that will never change.
-
I use psychedelics fairly regularly and MDMA Biannually.
I personally hate alcohol and marijuana, I just don't like what they do to me.
Also not a fan of stimulants and I know that I'm at risk for opioid addiction (after a surgery left plotting how to rob an ambulance for 2 days (so I avoid them at all cost)).
I have sometimes wondered if having a favorite psych is indicative of junkie behavior. I've also had my family (mother, aunt, etc) tell me in the past that I shouldent trip so often (that's back when it was every weekend).
Now-a-days I trip closer to every 2 weeks. I also have a bunch of special rules about tripping that help limit what I call "Junkie Behavior". The number 1 is don't trip alone. This dosent mean without a sitter, this means don't be the only person tripping. (I also almost ALWAYS try to make sure that everyone is using the same drugs)
-
No way.
I really don't feel you can have responsible drug use if you are maintaining a family and have kids living in the same roo, but are doing drugs that are illegal which can ruin that family bond and get you sent away and/or your kids. It is irresponsible to put your kids in that danger even if it is very unlikely anything will happen. If you got in a wreck and killed someone even if it was the other drivers fault and had drugs you would be screwed and your kids would be missing their daddy.
Do I preach or look down on people who have kids and use drugs not really unless they are addicts and neglecting their childs needs, but for me personally I will never have that around and if I can't stop by the time my child is born then I will just have to stay living separately and not be involved in their life only helping with support. I don't want to put my child through seeing their dad ruin his life.
I agree it seems hypocritical and am sure there is fault with my logic.
-
No way.
I really don't feel you can have responsible drug use if you are maintaining a family and have kids living in the same roo, but are doing drugs that are illegal which can ruin that family bond and get you sent away and/or your kids. It is irresponsible to put your kids in that danger even if it is very unlikely anything will happen. If you got in a wreck and killed someone even if it was the other drivers fault and had drugs you would be screwed and your kids would be missing their daddy.
I'm a parent and i agree with this completely. When i trip its only when my kids aren't around, and only when I know I won't be driving or in any other responsible roll. Like I said earlier, it's a completely selfish act and I make sure to differentiate the occasions when it's acceptable to trip out.
-
I guess my comment butt hurt a lot of people my neg karma just went up 3 points lol
-
I guess my comment butt hurt a lot of people my neg karma just went up 3 points lol
Like I always say to the cops............DINNT DO IT!!! :P
Fun aside though, it's perfectly okay and "sane" to feel that way. If you can't abstain from drugs while your kids are around you lose. Or much rather, they lose. They can "notice" something being wrong with you (high) even though they don't understand the concept of intoxication yet. I have MASSIVE disdain for people getting high around kids...
-
I really don't feel you can have responsible drug use if you are maintaining a family and have kids living in the same roo, but are doing drugs that are illegal which can ruin that family bond and get you sent away and/or your kids. It is irresponsible to put your kids in that danger even if it is very unlikely anything will happen. If you got in a wreck and killed someone even if it was the other drivers fault and had drugs you would be screwed and your kids would be missing their daddy.
My mother (who is 49) and other members of my family have tripped with me. Though I always supplied the drugs. Usually 2c-x chemicals.
-
I know that I'm at risk for opioid addiction (after a surgery left plotting how to rob an ambulance for 2 days (so I avoid them at all cost)).
What? Ambulances or opiates? ;) :P
On Topic: I'm not trying to be a stick-in-the-mud, but if you're a parent shouldn't you be available during an emergency? What happens if you're tripping and your kid falls and breaks his leg whilst with the babysitter? Don't get me wrong, I think it's fine for parents to indulge in drugs from time to time. Parents need to blow off steam too! I just think it's best practiced out of sight of the children and with drugs that don't drastically reduce your ability to function normally (LSD or large amounts of alcohol, for example), encase you are unexpectedly needed for parenting reasons.
-
... I'm not trying to be a stick-in-the-mud, but if you're a parent shouldn't you be available during an emergency? What happens if you're tripping and your kid falls and breaks his leg whilst with the babysitter?
Good point Zen - Personally, I'm divorced and have shared custody of kids. This allows me to be completely irresponsible during the times my ex has the kids, and then totally stone cold sober when they're with me. I find a good balance in this. I suppose other still-married parents just rely on each other to trade off being the responsible one, kind of like designated driver.
The other issue is balancing work related duties. During the week, on a 'school night' I don't indulge - The most I'll ever do is a couple of beers or glasses of wine. I've just learned my lesson once too many times in my youth by showing up in the morning while I'm still coming down from the previous days activities and feeling the 'heat' of co-workers giving me second looks. I find the day goes much smoother when I'm not trying to cover up anything. Hey the weekend is always going to come right?
-
I used to think the same way before I had children. It's easy to think you'll be completely clean... but what about a beer? Will you have a beer on a Sunday afternoon when the kids pay on the lawn? Probably.
I have a few toddlers. For me what works is the following: when they are awake the most I will consume is light amounts of alcohol. When they are settled in for the night and have been asleep for an hour two then a spliff on the back porch while we watch a film is acceptable. Anything harder (LSD, MDMA, etc) is completely out while the kids are on the premises and that goes for us or guests. That is saved for weekends away and even then, it's fairly rare.
A mate of mine in a wheelchair smokes for pain relief while his kids play around him. (It's either that or take some highly addictive heavy pharma pain killers). He is more gentle mannered and attentive while he does so. I look at that situation and see nothing wrong with it.
No way.
I really don't feel you can have responsible drug use if you are maintaining a family and have kids living in the same roo, but are doing drugs that are illegal which can ruin that family bond and get you sent away and/or your kids. It is irresponsible to put your kids in that danger even if it is very unlikely anything will happen. If you got in a wreck and killed someone even if it was the other drivers fault and had drugs you would be screwed and your kids would be missing their daddy.
Do I preach or look down on people who have kids and use drugs not really unless they are addicts and neglecting their childs needs, but for me personally I will never have that around and if I can't stop by the time my child is born then I will just have to stay living separately and not be involved in their life only helping with support. I don't want to put my child through seeing their dad ruin his life.
I agree it seems hypocritical and am sure there is fault with my logic.
-
definitely not... but at least im not bullshitting myself!
-
I used to be a hardcore opiate addict for many years. i lost everything and every relationship i had before i realized the importance of moderation. Now i practice extreme moderation and limit myself to only smoking marijuana on a regular basis.
-
I say that I am because I don't use as much as I used to but when I do I go all out. Someone else called it self-indulgence and that's really what it is. You know those weekends and you've already been up for 48 hours but you're still passing around lines of mdma even though no one is really rolling anymore? Or when you've been partying hard for days and you're sitting around passing around a spliff and listening to really chill moments? It's like some lucious rich dark chocolate, but without all the antioxidants.
Now if life didn't get in the way of partying? I would be ridiculous all the time. But it does, so I guess I'm responsible in that I try not to let my drug use interfere with me having a regular life. But once I get on it there's no stopping me.
-
I used to deal pretty large amounts of pills and speed when I was about 19, did that for a few years, saw a lot of things that I wish I hadn't and had been in a lot of situations that were definitely too hairy for a person of my age. I used to know what I was doing was wrong, but I didn't realize how wrong it was until I saw what it was doing to my family. I grew up in a very well to do family and my mum never drinks and I've seen my dad drunk 3 times in my life. They were shattered when they found out and eventually confronted me about it after finding text messages on my phone asking for pills. I started out taking pills because a mate introduced me to them and I started to become friendly with my dealer. Some guys asked me to get them some gear and I just inflated the price a little and managed to get a free pill. That's pretty much the way I fell into it. It literally just kept getting bigger and bigger until I was eventually dealing with some pretty serious dudes. Because I had access to it though all the time, going out for a couple of beers, turns into 20 beers and 7 pills later and this would be mid-week.The problem that I had, was not that I had an addictive personality, I got caught up in living the 'rockstar lifestyle'. Everyone wanted to be your friend and when you were out, you only saw people having good times and you get caught up in the moment. . I maxed out at about 15 pills at a rave once and quadruple dropped pills that left me tweaking on the floor. Sounds really fucked up now that I think about it. Not something to brag about at all and makes me feel a little sick in the stomach thinking about it now actually. But to the point, I now have a healthy respect for drugs and as a few people have stated before, it really does come down to moderation. I'm 27 now and rarely drink, but don't mind a joint on an occasional Friday night every 2-3 weeks. Usually have maybe 1-2 pills a year at festival time and speed maybe 2-3 times a year, but could easily go without nowadays. I used to think going through the above was 'character building' but looking back, I was just immature and stupid. Glad to make it out and only now do I think I'm a responsible user.
-
I smoke weed like 2 weekends per month and I take some acid every now and then with friends. No one outside of my acid circle knows that I do any kinds of drugs and I don't encourage anyone to do them unless I really really think that someone could use a toke.
I don't like the taste of alcohol, cigarette make me puke and I avoid junk food.
I've been thinking about toking with my mother for a while though because we kinda lost touch and I can't drink alcohol with her anymore because she has just recently stopped drinking after overdoing it a bit. I know that she has smoked pot in her youth but I'm not sure how she'd react if I'd make the offer. Anyone got experience with parents and weed?
-
I think I can safely say that I have my drug use well under control
After testing the dope-infested waters and trying out all kinds of stuff, I discovered that I only really like disassociatives, MDMA, heroin, and the occasional psychedelic or weed. I feel like my brain's seemingly high natural tolerance for disassociatives and ecstasy (and stims, although I don't like them anyhow) helps keep me in line too. A few months ago I was dosing MXE three or four times a week and had built up a massive tolerance. I felt as if I should've been addicted at that point, but I never did become addicted. I only kept dosing because I liked the drug, not because I felt compelled to.
I'm also able to give up drug use for weeks on end if necessary. So yeah, I think I'm doing fine.
-
Recreational drug use is inherently irresponsible; it's really all about being less irresponsible than the next guy