Silk Road forums

Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: asdf1988 on August 09, 2012, 02:24 am

Title: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: asdf1988 on August 09, 2012, 02:24 am
Hello, since I was 8 years old I felt that I should have been born female. I already tried prescription antidepressants, I have tried many and none helped with these feelings. Are there any drugs on SR that can make them go away, or make me not care about them? I am looking for something that can be taken every day/multiple times a day (to be "high" on the drug all the time) without issues with tolerance or dependence.
Thanks in advance.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Absurd on August 09, 2012, 02:30 am
Crack Cocaine
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: sourman on August 09, 2012, 03:00 am
Fuck! There are so many things I can say here that I'm not going to have time to pick one :(
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Absurd on August 09, 2012, 03:06 am
marijuana
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: TransparentTrip7 on August 09, 2012, 03:08 am
The answer you seek is in psychedelics.The ones i whole heartily recommend are ayahuasca,and mescaline via san pedro or peruvian torch.
Ayahusca can be bought on the clearnet same as the cactus.Those two great psychedelic teachers will take care of you,and teach you all about yourself.
They are great helpers,also can be great spirit friends :).
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: asdf1988 on August 09, 2012, 03:16 am
I already tried weed, it was boring. I will definitely try cactus, I remember saw it on amazon.
Also, is there any drug that would produce the same outcome as:
10x 100mg secobarbital
That is available on either SR or clearnet?
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: TheAbsurd on August 09, 2012, 03:18 am
Take female hormones and become more of the woman you really are.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: asdf1988 on August 09, 2012, 03:18 am
Take female hormones and become more of the woman you really are.
Actually I already did this. I'm still very depressed though, because I can't stop thinking that I'm a fake.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: TheAbsurd on August 09, 2012, 03:24 am
In that case I'm going to suggest acid. It's extremely therapeutic.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: asdf1988 on August 09, 2012, 03:28 am
In that case I'm going to suggest acid. It's extremely therapeutic.
Unfortunately acid doesn't have an effect on me. I bought 150ug blotters from multiple SR sellers and tried taking 1-3 at a time sublingually. All I ever got was a headache and finding it impossible to fall asleep. :(
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: TheAbsurd on August 09, 2012, 03:36 am
Are you on SSRI's or too much benzos/other drugs? Take a break from the other shit and try again. Mushrooms could help too.

If not then I'm out of ideas, sorry. You could look into meditation/kundalini yoga.

A single use of MDMA really helped me accept myself for who I am despite my flaws. Maybe that'll help you. Just don't do it too often or you'll end up depressed.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: asdf1988 on August 09, 2012, 03:44 am
I was taking the following drugs:
cyproterone acetate
estradiol valerate
propranolol
diazepam
citalopram
Don't know if any of these interfere with acid.

I will definitely try MDMA though. I hope the comedown will not be too bad.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: OhItsFluttershy on August 09, 2012, 03:46 am
*hugs* As somebody who has been/is going through the same exact thing, you really should confront these things head on. Drugs are great but not an alternative to therapy and finding out who you really are. However, if you ever need to leave your headspace for a little bit I suggest pot or acid, something nice and mellowing. But don't give up, you can be happy!

And be careful with MDMA. It's fun, but there's a reason suicide Tuesdays are a thing.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: asdf1988 on August 09, 2012, 03:53 am
Is this correct?
http://silkroadvb5piz3r.onion/index.php/silkroad/item/0a0a08f857
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Rinx on August 09, 2012, 06:19 am
I took a long break from recreational use of drugs, I have always been a fan of psychedelics & uppers. I realized how unhappy I was about a year and a 1/2 ago and felt like everything was boreing and just felt out of place. Decided to take some mushrooms had a fantastic trip and really put things into perspective for me. I think psychedelics are something that can really allow you to find yourself.

If you want something for daily use get some xanax, honestly it isn't that hard to get it prescribed to you if you don't mind a few dr's visits.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Spedly on August 09, 2012, 07:18 am
Crack Cocaine

This made me lol
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Mashman on August 09, 2012, 10:31 am
Why are people suggesting powerful psychedelics?

The whole point of safely tripping is being in a secure mental state whilst doing it. Otherwise negative feelings will manifest. This can be healing to some extent but at the same time it's not for everyone.

If you do decide to go down the psychedelic route, I would suggest going to Peru and do the proper ayahuasca in which you are guided through your past and emotions etc.

The only drug which will make you not care is H or other strong opiates. I'd seriously advise against them though, espescially if your depressed and having identity issues etc. you're at great risk of becoming heavily addicted. Also no drug will be a substitute for therapy. They only deal with the problem in the short term, they are not a cure.

I hope it all works out.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Spunkaroo on August 09, 2012, 10:55 am
Why are people suggesting powerful psychedelics?

The whole point of safely tripping is being in a secure mental state whilst doing it. Otherwise negative feelings will manifest. This can be healing to some extent but at the same time it's not for everyone.

If you do decide to go down the psychedelic route, I would suggest going to Peru and do the proper ayahuasca in which you are guided through your past and emotions etc.

The only drug which will make you not care is H or other strong opiates. I'd seriously advise against them though, espescially if your depressed and having identity issues etc. you're at great risk of becoming heavily addicted. Also no drug will be a substitute for therapy. They only deal with the problem in the short term, they are not a cure.

I hope it all works out.

Totally agree that it isn't for everyone, but as someone who has been to the lowest of low depression has to offer I have to say that psyches helped a lot. The bad trips show me all the shit I don't want to see in my normal life, all the shit that keeps me down and out, but then they show me what I can do about it.

My advice to the OP is that psychadelics can help if you're a certain kind of person (that is open to what they will show and ready to accept the good and the bad), but it's a gamble (one that may not be worth it...) I would also get off all other drugs (particularly anti-depressants) for at least 2 weeks before trying any psyches, as they will definitely ruin the experience.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Mashman on August 09, 2012, 11:05 am
Why are people suggesting powerful psychedelics?

The whole point of safely tripping is being in a secure mental state whilst doing it. Otherwise negative feelings will manifest. This can be healing to some extent but at the same time it's not for everyone.

If you do decide to go down the psychedelic route, I would suggest going to Peru and do the proper ayahuasca in which you are guided through your past and emotions etc.

The only drug which will make you not care is H or other strong opiates. I'd seriously advise against them though, espescially if your depressed and having identity issues etc. you're at great risk of becoming heavily addicted. Also no drug will be a substitute for therapy. They only deal with the problem in the short term, they are not a cure.

I hope it all works out.

Totally agree that it isn't for everyone, but as someone who has been to the lowest of low depression has to offer I have to say that psyches helped a lot. The bad trips show me all the shit I don't want to see in my normal life, all the shit that keeps me down and out, but then they show me what I can do about it.

My advice to the OP is that psychadelics can help if you're a certain kind of person (that is open to what they will show and ready to accept the good and the bad), but it's a gamble (one that may not be worth it...) I would also get off all other drugs (particularly anti-depressants) for at least 2 weeks before trying any psyches, as they will definitely ruin the experience.

The thing id be concerned with is if the person is not that type and it messes them up more than they already were. +1 though for the last para.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: daRwin on August 09, 2012, 12:29 pm
Also, is there any drug that would produce the same outcome as:
10x 100mg secobarbital

Secobarbital is a barbiturate! The outcome of that would quite certainly be death.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: rexthered on August 09, 2012, 12:57 pm
Sorry to be a buzzkill but no drug will be a cure for this; this is something you need to come to terms with in your own time.

Perhaps taking MDMA will help you address any insecurities but only if you were to take it with the soul intention of coming to grips with it. It will soften any anxieties and help you open up to anything that you're uncomfortable about dealing with, in a very honest way.
Otherwise CBT is a better option for you, gender reassignment as a last line treatment.

Psychedelics with MDMA could possibly help; but conversely they could make things far worse. If you're expecting an epiphany you should keep in mind these dont often happen. Drugs dont insert thoughts into your mind, they just bias your mind to thinking differently.
These drugs may be a tool, but of course what use is owning a tool if you cannot use it?


Why do you feel fake? What is "real" in this context? What's even wrong with feeling like a woman? These questions are going to do more for your mental health than a drug will if they are addressed.
 
Im not going to deny MDMA with/without a light psychedelic like 2C-B may make you address these questions easier by putting you in a more comfortable state of mind, from personal experience i have found drugs in this manner take too much credit for the beautiful sober changes we really make ourselves under their conflated influence.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Joey Terrifying on August 09, 2012, 02:04 pm
save your money and move to san francisco.  there's a whole sub culture of people there who will love you for who you are.  if your family thinks you're wrong for having these feelings then they don't deserve to have you in their lives.

being high all day on any drug will not solve this problem for you.  ecstasy & psychedelics could help you come to terms with it, but really it is up to YOU to reverse your cycle of depression.

i can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but be strong and confident.  you are just as you should be.

good luck!
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Orinoko Flow on August 09, 2012, 06:46 pm
marijuana
I agree ,chemicals will only make you think more!  Trust me im a doctor (of sorts).... :-X
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: Limetless on August 09, 2012, 06:52 pm
Jesus Christ.
Title: Re: Need a good drug to contain certain feelings
Post by: asdf8819 on August 09, 2012, 06:54 pm
How could I recover the password for my other account? My computer crashed and I lost it.