Silk Road forums
Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: fatslimback on August 18, 2013, 12:14 pm
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Hi.
I've suffered from social anxiety for years. I've been in therapy, read books on the subject and been offered medication from my GP, which Is not a path I want to go down at the moment.
I've taken acid once before with friends, about 15 years ago, and i hated it. Made me feel really vulnerable and insecure. Even though I didn't enjoy it, it's something I've always wanted to try again, and do it by myself. So I've bought a couple of tabs. I'm not looking at it as some sort of miracle cure. What am looking for is some perspective from it. Do you think I could get some therapeutic value from it? Some Insight maybe?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Cheers.
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You might want to read the thread about micro-dosing (see then link in my signature).
Even if you're not looking at a micro-dose experience right now, there's a lot of usefull information in this thread for you - at least I think so.
Best of luck!
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You might want to read the thread about micro-dosing (see then link in my signature).
Even if you're not looking at a micro-dose experience right now, there's a lot of usefull information in this thread for you - at least I think so.
Best of luck!
Thanks man, I'll have a look at that.
Cheers.
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Yeah, If you don't get any harsh symptoms whilst your alone in your house usually. If you have any pets or garden or few albums you can play and more importantly, your the kind of person that can let go, you're gonna have a gooood time.
I had to find out the exact same thing a couple of years ago.
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Yeah, If you don't get any harsh symptoms whilst your alone in your house usually. If you have any pets or garden or few albums you can play and more importantly, your the kind of person that can let go, you're gonna have a gooood time.
I had to find out the exact same thing a couple of years ago.
Yeah. It's just something I want to do. I feel I have to do even. I'm looking forward to it.
Cheers.
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get a clear objective and start with a small dose.
ive tripped on shroom first couple of times with no problems.
but be honest to yourself... if you freak out easily and for no actual reasons, doing it by urself is not a smart idea.
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get a clear objective and start with a small dose.
ive tripped on shroom first couple of times with no problems.
but be honest to yourself... if you freak out easily and for no actual reasons, doing it by urself is not a smart idea.
Hey.
Its not that I freak out. I just get anxious in social situations. In the past it was debilitating, I couldn't even answer my door if someone knocked. I'm not as bad now, although it still greatly impacts on the quality of my life. I'll avoid social situations, or I need to have a drink before I meet friends etc. I'm becoming a hermit. I'm perfectly content/happy when I'm by myself though. I just think LSD would maybe help me tap into or explore the part of my brain that has conditioned me to behave the way I do- the fear/anxiety. Or maybe it won't, but I'd like to give it a try.
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"I'm perfectly content/happy when I'm by myself though"
I don't know you, so i might be wrong, but that sounds more like denial than anything.
Okay, if you are somewhat stable when on your own you can go for it. LSD might very well help you. But also might turn everything around and cause you to be even more introverted. Especially if you put big expectations in it. LSD is not likely to do what you want it to do. Can't control it.
Yea buddy, if you know what you are doing, go for it.
If available to you, try some "guided trip" with somebody (ideally trained) that can challenge your believes during that trip and will work with you.
There is other things, more effective to combat your anxiety. shot me a PM with more specifics and i give u some advice.
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Thanks for the advice man.
Yeah I'll give it a whirl next wknd and see where it takes me :) I've got some Xanax so at least I've got summit if it gets too rough.
Cheers.
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get a clear objective and start with a small dose.
ive tripped on shroom first couple of times with no problems.
but be honest to yourself... if you freak out easily and for no actual reasons, doing it by urself is not a smart idea.
Hey.
Its not that I freak out. I just get anxious in social situations. In the past it was debilitating, I couldn't even answer my door if someone knocked. I'm not as bad now, although it still greatly impacts on the quality of my life. I'll avoid social situations, or I need to have a drink before I meet friends etc. I'm becoming a hermit. I'm perfectly content/happy when I'm by myself though. I just think LSD would maybe help me tap into or explore the part of my brain that has conditioned me to behave the way I do- the fear/anxiety. Or maybe it won't, but I'd like to give it a try.
I've personally struggled with debilitating paranoia/anxiety for years, and I have to be honest with you, the answer to your problems isn't in any drug. Thinking about your fear/anxiety will make it worse, not fix it.
The only thing that is going to help you is reconditioning over a long period of time, combined with a productive train of thought when you do experience the anxiety, which will allow you to co-exist with it peacefully. You have to repeatedly put yourself in the social situations that you find difficult over and over again, until you learn that to feel anxiety is perfectly ok, it is only bad when you let it affect you or stop you from doing something.
Anxiety problems are a product of a faulty fight-or-flight mechanism that is activating itself in the wrong situations. The thing about this mechanism is that it is biological in nature and no matter how clever and logical you are, you can't rationalize away your anxiety, because it occurs on a completely subconscious level. You can take anti-anxiety drugs but this is a band-aid solution that will only work temporarily.
The only solution is repeated exposure. You need to write down all the situations that give you anxiety, every single one, and gradually expose yourself to them every single day. The more you hide away in your house the worse it will get. The more you expose yourself the easier the situations you are exposing yourself to will get. It will be extremely difficult at first, but over the course of months it will become so much easier. Sometimes you will have to be creative in how you expose yourself, for example if you are socially nervous you might start with going for walks every day in places that are increasingly crowded, until you can walk through crowds without problems. Then you might practice going into shops and having small conversations with the attendants, then saying hi to people as you walk past them, then maybe joining a club that plays a sport you like, then telling a girl she looks cute in a nightclub, etc, etc. Take baby steps and you will get there.
You also need to realize a few things about anxiety. Anxiety does NOT lead to psychosis, and it does NOT lead to heart attacks, strokes or life-threatening medical complications. It doesn't matter how nervous you feel, how much you are shaking, how fast your heart is beating and how out of it you are feeling in the head, you are not going to go crazy, pass out or die. The only bad thing is the anxiety, which is just a feeling you can learn to live with. If you have had anxiety for 15 years I'm sure you already know this from experience however.
Remember that the goal is not to make your anxiety go away. Doctors do not consider an anxiety disorder 'cured' when the anxiety goes away. They consider it 'cured' when the patient is no longer afraid of experiencing anxiety and does not let the anxiety impact their life. Anxiety is biological so you can't think it away, but you CAN learn to accept it.
Personally I experience anxiety and paranoia on a regular basis. Sometimes when I am driving around I will get it so bad it feels like I'm literally dreaming and I feel so spaced out in the head I get concerned I might freak out and crash. My heart will race, my hands will get sweaty and the world will feel like it is spinning. When this happens I simply say to myself "I notice that I am experiencing anxiety right now". That helps me separate myself from the anxiety and reminds me that it's just a feeling I can live with. Then I just go on doing whatever I was doing, no matter how hard it is, until the anxiety goes away. Sometimes it is really bad, the other day I was with a mate helping him count pills into 100bags, and I started getting anxiety so bad my hands were shaking so bad I couldn't even sort the pills into piles of 10. The room was spinning so bad I felt like I was going to fall of the chair but I just concentrated on what I was doing and within 20 minutes I felt a lot better. By the time I left his house I felt completely back to normal.
My point is that the anxiety you are feeling isn't a bad thing. What is bad is that it is turning you into a hermit. Once you learn to live with your anxiety and stop fighting or avoiding situations that cause anxiety it will lose it's hold on your life. You can experience anxiety, that is completely ok, and it doesn't make you any less of a person than anyone else as long as you don't let it control you.
Please read 'The Happiness Trap' and learn about Acceptance & Commitment therapy. This book literally changed my life:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Living/dp/1590305841
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I do LSD alone all the time.
Allows for therapeutic self-reflection, love it.
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I have done it many times alone as well. Actually got to enjoy more of the trip that way.
your not constantly worried about the group and if they are ok etc. or if you have anxiety
you wouldnt be worried about what you look like or act like to other people. Its really quite nice.
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@AussieMitch thank you for your wise and kind words. I shall get that book man.
If I could +1 everyone in this thread I would.
This truly is a great community.
Thanks for all the advice.
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The first time I did LSD I was alone too it was only 130 or 150u
I really loved it, very profound experience and I spent a memorable day
You should try it in a good environment, a free day in front of you without disturbance, a garden some music add whatever you enjoy and let lucy do her thing, accept the ride. In any cases if it goes really bad you got the xanax so I really won't be worried mate!
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Shouldn't you be doing Ecstacy and not LSD if the intention is to try and treat your social anxiety?
This may not be your intention, and if so, I think LSD would be awesome alone as long as the dose is in a comfortable range for you.
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if you want to get some out of the trip, don't mix it with xanax or some shit.
if you want to trip, get high and enjoy you can do that.
maybe mushrooms are a good option for you too.
try the following:
clean your room
get high quality, light food you like
get a bunch of flip-charts
get several pens in different colors
ask your self what exactly you want
drop some acid
take a walk
come back and start drawing / writing / mind mapping.
should take you to the next level.
you can post results here (clean it off personal information first)
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don't be afraid if your first trip was bad , it was many years ago and in 15 years your personality change a lot , so start with a quarter tab and enjoy it , before you have to choose a perfect setting and all can only be good , enjoy and have fun
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don't be afraid if your first trip was bad , it was many years ago and in 15 years your personality change a lot , so start with a quarter tab and enjoy it , before you have to choose a perfect setting and all can only be good , enjoy and have fun
Yes I agree small doses of LSD can be very therapeutic! Don't combine it with MDMA or benzo's if you want to have a nice introspective experience.
I know it helped me allot over the years.
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I've got two of Machine Maids Orange Sunshine blotters, advertised at 300ug.
I've got the afternoon off work Friday. Gonna come home, have a good lunch, get into my jammies and take a half. I'm gonna do the pens and notepad thing, and I've got plenty of music and other things I can do.
I'm really looking forward to it
:)
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Sounds like a great time! I love being prepared for my experiences. Let us know how it goes down, I'm definitely interested in doing it by myself as well.
Off topic, but like someone else stated, they think MDMA creates permanent connections...and I would agree 100% with that. Certain things that tickled me pink while rolling STILL give me goosebumps or that euphoria associated with the experience. The social connections I've created with friends old and new also still exist. The walls are def broken down after its use...so if LSD doesn't do what you wanted, you might try smaller doses to do social things and you might end up craving the social situations? Pavlov's dogs anyone?
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I love tripping alone. Taking other people's hang-ups out of the equation = great acid sesh. That's not to say that tripping with friends is not as good, I love that also.
I direct my acid sesh towards creativity. I personally direct it to music, either creation or listening. I occasionally take a break and ponder or look at mother nature for a while. When I'm over the peak, live music DVD's are my go to. Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes, Frank Zappa - Does Humor Belong in Music or Steven Wilson - Get What You Deserve or Porcupine Tree - Anesthetize, all my highly recommended live DVD's.
If you start to feel a bit anxious/paranoid etc, give your mind something to do. If you are not the creative type or music is not your thing, some of these great new TV series that are around these days are fantastic on acid. I like to finish my acid sesh off with a few episodes of maybe Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones.
Cheers
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i like tripping alone too can be very insightful and interesting. i dont think having social anxiety will impact it too much because as you say you will be on your own. enjoy :D
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I do LSD alone all the time.
Allows for therapeutic self-reflection, love it.
Although not "all the time" I've done it several times alone. Usually the way I do it since psychedelics make me (and a lot of people) anti-social to various degrees. That coupled with being introverted and some social anxiety issues myself and I find tripping alone to be quite meditative. Although I never really "meditate" but just do whatever, watch some movies, play video games, whatever. One thing I always forget to do until afterwards is write down what I'm feeling. I know i've had some thoughts that--at the time at least--seemed really good but I never remember to write it down and just assume I'll remember it.
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I've never tripped by myself before.
I just don't really enjoy tripping unless I'm at a music festival.
The few times I have tripped at home, there didn't seem like there was anything to do besides lay around and watch TV/movies all day and/or listen to music.
Tripping is fun and all but I find that if you just trip 'cause you're bored, it will only make you even more bored and cause you to get inside your head.
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Hi.
I've suffered from social anxiety for years. I've been in therapy, read books on the subject and been offered medication from my GP, which Is not a path I want to go down at the moment.
I've taken acid once before with friends, about 15 years ago, and i hated it. Made me feel really vulnerable and insecure. Even though I didn't enjoy it, it's something I've always wanted to try again, and do it by myself. So I've bought a couple of tabs. I'm not looking at it as some sort of miracle cure. What am looking for is some perspective from it. Do you think I could get some therapeutic value from it? Some Insight maybe?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Cheers.
It's highly recommended from my perspective. I this once, and it allowed me to see so much shit that I had to work on in my life. They can be very therapeutic if integrated well (recollect your trip).
I think psychedelics ARE solo drugs.
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I used to suffer anxiety on LSD, but I would take a small dose of valium as I was coming up. Only about 5mg but it really helped.
Later I would just carry the valium and knowing I had it was enough.
Now I have a great time every time.
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So how did it go?
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So how did it go?
I ended up not doing it, haha. Had a couple of things sprung up that i had to do over wknd. Honest.
No worries though, I'm gonna do it at sum point over next two weeks.
:)
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You can try smoking Dmt by yourself.
It just has that feeling of relief within seconds of inhaling and the trip only lasts 10-15minutes.
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You can try smoking Dmt by yourself.
It just has that feeling of relief within seconds of inhaling and the trip only lasts 10-15minutes.
DMT can be frustrating to get the right amount quick enough, and it can be over before it ever started. Saying to use the sandwich method is not really doing DMT, that is the fuzzy DMT ride. And either probably won't let him past the gate in the state he is in
You should do some acid alone, and be ready to throw away a lot of the stuff that you think makes you and be ready for all the wonderful things that do. Embrace it and you'll heal.. the reason you didn't like tripping with your friend is most likely that you don't express your real feelings around them to begin with so you closed the door on them when they were trying to come out in front of them
LSD ain't for the fake - there's plenty of other drugs for them
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I much prefer doing psychedelics on my own these days specially for a more introspective kind of experience which seems is what you are going for.
LSD will defo give you a different perspective on things. Sending good vibes your way, have a good one.
Look into Ayahuasca and Ibogaine for the future as well. These have helped me the most in self-knowledge and consciousness expansion.
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So I've got all week off work and I just dropped half a tab about ten minutes ago.
:)
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have a nice trip :)
have fun too :)
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I didnt look through every post but taking psychedelics alone is the way to go 100% IMO.
there isn't a more efficient way to take them. taking them while alone allows for tons of self evaluation/self correction, as well as allowing you to be egoless without having to let that aspect stress you out (although if you completely remove your ego, you wont be insecure. insecurities tend to fall away with the ego IME.)
Having people around during a trip is simply a distraction from the beauty of the experience I feel :P
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I had a fantastic time.
Don't really know what else to say, and I'm kinda exhausted.
Its was great.
:)
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How did you spend your time? Any problems? Any tips for others who want to try?
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I ate about an 8th or so of 1 Up's Penis Envys on Wednesday and spent most of the trip alone. I spent the first hour or so of the come up with a couple of my friends who i gave the rest of the sample to and then i embarked on the trip solo. It was a wonderful and beautiful experience. Most of my other mushroom trips have been around people and i was glad i was given the opportunity to pick my own brain and evaluate alot of the things i've been meaning to sort out. A very spiritual and divine experience if i do say so and it would not have went the way it did if i were around people.
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Yes I agree small doses of LSD can be very therapeutic! Don't combine it with MDMA or benzo's if you want to have a nice introspective experience.
I know it helped me allot over the years.
Perhaps true,when doing mdma with LSD the experience was more social and focused on interaction with my best mate..but still the moments of introspective reflection did kick in more towards the end.
We were silent due to watching a series on the television and i wandered of..still watching it but ..on the wall of my room :D. It was a mix of this.
Now another experience was still very social for me at first as we were at a gathering and i truelly enjoyed my friend and multiple aquintances ,it was a good time...
..but i did dip out a few times to do NO² alone a few times...and the NO² was like steroids for my brain to do some breakthrough thinking + visuals.
NO² always acts this way for me but with LSD it goes to another level accompanied with meaningfull visuals related to the breakthrough thought i'm having.
Almost forgot about that accually.
Mental note to myself: must repeat NO²+LSD combo!
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Shouldn't you be doing Ecstacy and not LSD if the intention is to try and treat your social anxiety?
To be honest ecstacy would only be a quick fix unless you roll and party so much that you are able to practice social interactions in this state to a degree you accually transfer it too real life.
I'm more in favor of prolonged but responsable amphetamine use (regular speed i mean) because it gives more of a CLEAR headhigh,thou you may be euphoric and such ...it does also give you a more focused euphoria..and very helpfull in social interactions.You would eventually learn more that way.
With ectacy you could experience more clouded high fun but and the experience would definitely contribute to your social abilities but speed does this in more normal settings and day to day situations..so more beneficial in the end IMO.
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How did you spend your time? Any problems? Any tips for others who want to try?
I spent the day in my flat. I dropped the first half early afternoon and just lay around chilling waiting for 'it' to happen. I think about after an hour there was a very slight change in my perception, but nothing much of note. About an hour and a half later I decided to drop the other half. Not long after this I started to trip.
Just as the trip was starting, and I was lying on my couch, I heard a clatter of ladders outside (my window cleaner). I shot from my couch, hurriedly closed the blinds and bolted into my hallway where I sat in the corner waiting for him to leave. I'm own him money, and I was fucked if I was opening the door to anyone, haha. As I was sitting there the carpet started to ripple.
Anyhoo when said window cleaner left i went back through to living room, sat on my couch, and became aware that I was tripping out of my fecking mind. Everything was rippling and contorting, and I couldn't stop laughing. At this point I looked at a painting I have hanging on my wall and I was like holy shit, that pictures moving. I got up to look at the painting and I just could not believe what i was seeing. The colors were breathing, moving and the depiction in the painting was morphing and changing shape. I took it off the wall and sat with it on my lap. It's just one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. At one point It looked like a part of the painting was alive (its hard to explain) and at this moment I just burst into tears. It just felt so joyous and good to cry.
I also wrote a load of stuff down (or tried to) pertaining to my life. I also doodled a lot, which just put me into an amazing trance like state. I did this doodle at one point and wrote 'I'm a child' beside it, and i remember thinking, my God, I've created a masterpiece, haha! When It started getting dark I just sat in my living room with nothing on- no tv, no music- and just thought. It felt nice to think. Sometimes I'd think about nothing, which felt nice too.
At points I really wanted to be with friends, to be with people, and to go outside. These things I'm gonna try when i trip again.
So I spent most of my time looking in disbelief at this painting, writing down a lot of nonsense, doodling, which strangely felt very therapeutic, going into deep trance like states and thinking.
Problems: Hmm, the thinking/introspection for awhile got a little heavy, but I wouldn't call it a problem. I was able to handle it.
Tips: I'm nowhere near experienced enough with LSD to give advice. Just enjoy it is all I can say.
Sorry this is probably a pretty shit trip report and I don't think you could ever do the experience justice with words.
P.S. Thanks to everyone on this thread who gave me great advice.