Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: Phil198022 on September 15, 2012, 10:34 pm
-
Had a free weekend, with my wife, i had gotten her to accept me taking LSD, (I took hi dosage 5 tabs) after that I had the most wonderful, also fearful, but absolutely amazing psychedelic experience, like all my knowledge and experience just passed through me.
Then around the evening hours my wife was getting tired of my constant cuddling her etc. (and I had really felt those deep psychedelic experiences with connecting with her innermost etc.). I can't recall it now, because of what followed.
So she wanted to be left alone, i went to my study and out of boredom took some meth and started chatting to some cheap cam girls, then she came in and saw the whole sorry show. Now I basically feel it has all gone down the drain, she's mad, out of pure connection now there's a developing domestic dispute, so this is just one example of how mixing the wrong drug can just basically nullify an otherwise great chance at a psychedelic experience. We had really the most meaningful conversations of our marriage, and now this cheap euphoric rush that will be followed by days of depression.
Just a tale of a psych journey gone wrong.
-
Sounds like your blaming the meth, when you really chose to talk to camsluts. Could've just taken meth and gone and played games, done some writting, slept with your wife, whatever. Sorry though man, relationship tension on lsd is horrible.
-
Sounds like your blaming the meth, when you really chose to talk to camsluts. Could've just taken meth and gone and played games, done some writting, slept with your wife, whatever. Sorry though man, relationship tension on lsd is horrible.
You know when I was fully on the acid I could speak to hear clearly the way I never could before, it was really like she and I were one spirit, but the whole setting kind of wasn't perfect when she wanted to be alone in the coming of phase, where you basically just still have some visual hallucinations, but the main trip is over.
My problem is my wife is very sceptical/opposed to the whole drug thing in general, now during the psychedelic phase we really had a great time, now I don't know if she'll ever go with me on the psychedelic trip again. Just such a pity and waste, because it really was the deepest things we ever said to one another in 3 years of marriage.
So now I'm basically just typing my frustration down.
Also as a side note and as a relatively long time recreational (occasional) meth user and recent LSD user, meth is really just a cheap thrill, a quick shallow ride of confidence with no meaning, while LSD really is a drug like no other I have experienced, i wouldn't even put it in the same sort of class as the other drugs.
Like under LSD I really felt all life experiences, feelings, knowledge etc. was accessable, whether for the positive or negative usage, really more of a psychological journey through yourself and I went all the way to the ego and it's death as the ultimate consiquence, like when you sum up everything in you and where it leads up to and then you have it all encapsulated in one place and it leads to just acceptance of all your experiences, feelings, knowledge and in the end an end to all that that gives you a feeling of deep inner meaning. It's difficult to sum these really bizarre multidimensional fusions you experience. Anyway, I think the most profound thing I've ever experienced.
-
Now I'm on the chatterbox can't shut up mode of meth:
Still would like to further describe the deep psychedelic experience, tomorrow when the meth wears off so will my type writing drive.
Basically when on the very strong psychedelic trip I did not feel drunk like under alcohol for one moment, everything was entirely clear, all my thoughts coalesced, nothing like with any other drug I have known before, basically no stupor, no memory loss etc, just total recollection, so that part has still got me amazed, like all my childhood recollections, emotions, knowledge all united, fantastic and like I've never experienced before. There was a lot of crying, soul searching, I told her about my issues, really a fantastic psychotherapeutic tool. While this was my third experience with LSD this was the most hi dose one, five full blotters maya, like 1250 mikrograms. Previous experiements with dosages around 300 -400 mikrograms mostly just brought some visuals and unusual thought synthesis.
Just shitty the final part of the evening then went the way it did, meth sucks, I guess.
Anyway, I had best go to bed, pretend to sleep (which I won't be able to for 24 hours) and hope my wife will join me on a similar experience once more.
-
Well, you weren't windmilling your dick in front of a webcam or something right? Maybe she'll come around when it quietens down a bit. I know how it can be hard when experiences like this can tar all drugs with that same dirty brush. Keep persisting though. I don't think it'll be much better next time unless she's on the same level.
It's like drunks, you can be so sincere when you're drunk or even on MDMA but sober people can find it quite annoying really. It's not something that can be avoided unless they're in a similar state. Inhibitions and all that.
Genuinely hope things get better though with your wife. Good luck man!
-
Well, you weren't windmilling your dick in front of a webcam or something right? Maybe she'll come around when it quietens down a bit. I know how it can be hard when experiences like this can tar all drugs with that same dirty brush. Keep persisting though. I don't think it'll be much better next time unless she's on the same level.
It's like drunks, you can be so sincere when you're drunk or even on MDMA but sober people can find it quite annoying really. It's not something that can be avoided unless they're in a similar state. Inhibitions and all that.
Genuinely hope things get better though with your wife. Good luck man!
You know as I was trying to relate i had experienced what some call the ego death, I was basically broken down and saw her as really the meaning of my existence together with the natural beauty that surrounds us, it was really the most intense emotional experience I ever had and we were both crying seeing that without the other there really is nothing in this life that carries any deeper meaning, I guess you have to be on acid when basically all your feelings just synthesyze and you find what is really meaningful in your life.
I have a history of alcohol (been dry recently), so that of course also encompassed a lot of soul searching, crying on my part. All in all really maybe the most magnificent experience I can imagine, not some temporary thrill ride hi like a stimulant, but deep inner conflict resolution.
I for one will sure be taking LSD again in the future, I'm writing my wife a lenghty e-mail explaining, hope she understands.
Alcohol I've quit anyway, other drugs I may take recreationally once in a while, but nothing, nothing ever comes close to a five blod lsd trip with your wife in your arms, nothing to compare it really, words don't do it justage.
After this I can really understand how people can say LSD changed the way they viewed the world, it just might never appear the same again.
Hoping for another soul searching adventure in maybe a week or so.
And next time, no meth to top it off.
-
One last thing I want to write on the subject psychedelics (damn meth keeping me awake): After having tried various stimulants, opioids, cannabis from this website, being a recovering alcoholic and a semi-regular user of benzos, LSD is the one stand-out substance I feel. Everything else is in some way to blunt or overplay your senses either through stupor or aggression. LSD is the one drug I have found on this website that could really mean something, where if you don't just use it as a party gimmick you really have an appreciation of art and music, but also emotions and love you have never felt before, and actually deal with personal issues rather than blunt over them and suppress them momentarily with benzos or speed.
Really, an astonishing substance and the only one I have found that might bring you some real improvement and help and insight. I've definitely become a fan, and except for the occasional amphetamine dose when I need to get going before sports or work I might not be ordering anything else from this website anymore.