Silk Road forums

Market => Rumor mill => Topic started by: hatedpatriot on May 06, 2012, 11:06 am

Title: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: hatedpatriot on May 06, 2012, 11:06 am
They took my favorite coffee cup. Plus I suspect that Nomad rubbed my toothbrush on his asshole. I didn't know about the toothbrush until after I used it :(
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: rake on May 06, 2012, 11:46 am
Umm in that case don't put your boots on I think there's a Cleveland Steamer in there.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Prawl42 on May 06, 2012, 12:27 pm
They took my favorite coffee cup. Plus I suspect that Nomad rubbed my toothbrush on his asshole. I didn't know about the toothbrush until after I used it :(


hehehe :) them pesky mods!
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Horizons on May 06, 2012, 01:24 pm
Ohmygod guys, Dread Pirate Roberts just materialized from thin air (he used all those stolen bitcoins to buy a teleportation device!) and sodomized my cat right in front of me. He the called me a filthy little cockslut and spat into my mouth.

I think this is probably a conspiracy plotted together with LE, big corporations, the US Army, the Illuminati, Gargamel, the Mole People and the Lizard People to take advantage of drug users, because we're notoriously the least paranoid subgroup of society.

USE YOUR MINDS AND THINK FOR YOURSELVES!! THE EVIDENCE IS ALL RIGHT THERE!
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Prawl42 on May 06, 2012, 01:38 pm
im going to be handing out tin foil hats for those who want them, we cant be to safe now that they can teleport!!
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: hatedpatriot on May 06, 2012, 02:03 pm
Ohmygod guys, Dread Pirate Roberts just materialized from thin air (he used all those stolen bitcoins to buy a teleportation device!) and sodomized my cat right in front of me. He the called me a filthy little cockslut and spat into my mouth.

I think this is probably a conspiracy plotted together with LE, big corporations, the US Army, the Illuminati, Gargamel, the Mole People and the Lizard People to take advantage of drug users, because we're notoriously the least paranoid subgroup of society.

USE YOUR MINDS AND THINK FOR YOURSELVES!! THE EVIDENCE IS ALL RIGHT THERE!

For one, DPR does that with everybody. It's just the way he says hello. Also, your intel is a bit dated. Gargamel died about 3 months ago from thyroid disease.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Andrewbud420 on May 06, 2012, 02:20 pm
Did they take your double driller 50cc Gas powered dildo?
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: hatedpatriot on May 06, 2012, 02:24 pm
Just the attachment, not the motor.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: simplyanon on May 06, 2012, 02:31 pm
I love this thread.

So much.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: MechaLeary on May 06, 2012, 04:57 pm
I love this thread.

So much.

iknowright, can we make this a sticky?
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: cacoethes on May 06, 2012, 05:40 pm
They took my favorite coffee cup. Plus I suspect that Nomad rubbed my toothbrush on his asshole. I didn't know about the toothbrush until after I used it :(

I know he did.  Soon you'll receive a picture of it sticking out of his ass.

He did the same thing to me last week, but I was afraid to say anything.  In fact, it was DPR took the picture.  Must've gotten our addresses because they're in cahoots with the top vendors here.

Who are all, of course, in cahoots with LE.

EDIT: Disclaimer: I am not trolling...  This is a poor attempt at humor.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: hatedpatriot on May 06, 2012, 06:07 pm
I am waiting to see the tape, even though it's gonna make me puke. I wanna see it, though, because I'm starting to doubt it was Nomad or DPR that soiled my toothbrush. I've had this shit on my teeth for several hours now, so I've gotten a way better taste than I'd ever ask for. But I can say with 100% certainty that whoever did it, ate exclusively off the dollar menu at Mcdonalds. That doesn't fit with Nomad or DRP since they are high rollers and have recently been coming into lots of free money. I'm sure there would have been steak and beer at some point for either of these fellas. Not the offender, this fucker ate nothing but double cheese burgers, and not even good ones.

Also my cat just came out of nowhere, first time I've seen him today. He's been partially shaved and his whiskers are singed. Though he seems fine otherwise, not shook up or anything. I dunno, but this is fucked.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: etal on May 06, 2012, 06:19 pm
GUYS

GUYS

GUYS

THEY TOOK MY SPARE CHANGE. I KNOW BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE!
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Tittytwister on May 06, 2012, 06:26 pm
can i please have one of those tin foil hats?
i think i just saw tony rushing into my bedroom...
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: jewfro on May 06, 2012, 07:09 pm
im going to be handing out tin foil hats for those who want them, we cant be to safe now that they can teleport!!

do we have to pay shipping or FE?

can i get a sample one?
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Prawl42 on May 06, 2012, 07:24 pm
im going to be handing out tin foil hats for those who want them, we cant be to safe now that they can teleport!!

do we have to pay shipping or FE?

can i get a sample one?

fuck that there going for free, cant take the risk of the coins being traced back!!!!
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: SoopaRolla on May 06, 2012, 07:36 pm
Didn't you read the Silk Road double-fine print?

"All mods have the right to break into your house and abuse your brushing utensils..."

That's why I stopped brushing my teeth after signing up.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: hatedpatriot on May 06, 2012, 07:59 pm
Ahh, I missed that, actually.

I guess I'll reorder from VMM and start doubling up on meth intake. That way I wont have any teeth to worry about.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Losty_V2.0 on May 06, 2012, 08:01 pm
BAHAHAAAAHA

no no..

I heard DPR was the third gunman on the grassy noel.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Horizons on May 06, 2012, 09:41 pm
GUYS

GUYS

GUYS

THEY TOOK MY SPARE CHANGE. I KNOW BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE!

HOLY SHIT THEY TOOK MINE TOO! AND THEY ALSO HID MY REMOTE!
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: simplyanon on May 06, 2012, 11:11 pm

HOLY SHIT THEY TOOK MINE TOO! AND THEY ALSO HID MY REMOTE!

I just got home from a trail run and can't find my remote anywhere. And I think they fed my cat. :o
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Jimmy245 on May 06, 2012, 11:46 pm
They took my favorite coffee cup. Plus I suspect that Nomad rubbed my toothbrush on his asshole. I didn't know about the toothbrush until after I used it :(

This shit made my day.  Good one.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: SoopaRolla on May 06, 2012, 11:52 pm
They took my cat.
A note was on my dresser: "DPR was here. O btw, i took ur cat, here's 3 bitcoins!"
I looked down on the note and saw three poorly drawn renditions of the bitcoin symbol..

Jokes on him though, my cat was an asshole.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: toelessJoe on May 07, 2012, 12:41 am
It's great to read some real humor on the Forum after all this BS and negativity for past few week  -  Cheers, Guys !!!
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: jewfro on May 07, 2012, 01:01 am
im going to be handing out tin foil hats for those who want them, we cant be to safe now that they can teleport!!

do we have to pay shipping or FE?

can i get a sample one?

fuck that there going for free, cant take the risk of the coins being traced back!!!!

but... BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE LE AND COLLECTING ADDRESSES!?!?!?!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WE CAN'T TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: SolidRain on May 07, 2012, 01:21 am
Fuck, that was DPR? I just hunted down and shot Cpt. Sparrow. Ooops!

All Pirates look alike!
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: hatedpatriot on May 07, 2012, 01:33 am
Not captain crunch, he's pretty unique and faggy. No eye patch, no artificial appendage, no sword! Bout the only thing he ever slashed is the roof of your mouth.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: toelessJoe on May 07, 2012, 01:43 am
fucking LOL  -  thanks guys  - keep it going...
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: simplyanon on May 07, 2012, 05:12 am
Not captain crunch, he's pretty unique and faggy. No eye patch, no artificial appendage, no sword! Bout the only thing he ever slashed is the roof of your mouth.

I'm eating some peanut butter crunch as I type. So fucking amazing when you're high.
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Prawl42 on May 07, 2012, 11:12 am
My hats... My hats have been STOLEN , fuuuuuuuuuck
Title: Re: SR mods broke into my house
Post by: Horizons on May 07, 2012, 08:33 pm
Jokes on him though, my cat was an asshole.

That was the single funniest sentence in this thread. Enjoy your new Karma point. :D