Silk Road forums
Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: summersgone on March 14, 2013, 11:02 pm
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
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Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
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Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
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War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
I don't find this too funny... :p
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Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
I don't find this too funny... :p
C-C-C-Combo Breaker! :)
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Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
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If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
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Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
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I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
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Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Ok, not quite 50, but you get the idea...
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Some very funny jokes. Thank you Summersgone. :)