Silk Road forums

Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:48 am

Title: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:48 am
Q: What do you call a rave full of epileptics?
A: A foam party.

Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:49 am
Amy Winehouse bumps into Jeremy Clarkson and they start to chat.
She says to him, "What do you do?"
He replies, "Top Gear".
She says "Fucking brilliant I'll have two grams"
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:50 am
Q: Why did the hens get thrown out from the boat rave?
A: Because they was taking eggs to sea.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:51 am
Q: What were Princess Diana's favourite drugs?
A: Speed & Smack
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:53 am
Q: What do you get when you take ecstasy and birth control pills?
A: A trip without the kids.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:54 am
A speedfreak is out walking one fine evening. He finds a poor person on the street and helps him up. The poor person says, "Son, I'm a genie. And since you helped me I'll give you three wishes."

The speedfreak says, "I want a big bag of meth!", the genie says."Okay." POOF, the bag appears! They prepare some thick long white lines and share it between the two of them.

The next morning the genie asks "What's the second wish?", "I want two big bags of meth", says the speedfreak. "Okay," says the genie. POOF! And they prepare it and snort it between the two of them.

The next morning the genie asks "And the third wish?" "I want four big bags of meth!" POOOF!! So, they prepare lots of big lines and share it between the two of them.

Much later the genie gets up and says, "Okay, it's time for me to go." The genie takes a couple of steps, pauses, turns around and says, "Okay, just one more wish."
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:55 am
Q: How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:56 am
Alcohol and calculus dont mix...Dont drink and derive.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:59 am
First your doing coke in order to get sexual favors and then a few years later you’re doing sexual favors for coke!
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 06:59 am
 was so much smarter before I did drugs. I was so smart I could solve equations… with my mind.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:00 am
I wrote a joke about the short duration of cocaine, in fact the joke itself is a one-liner.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: mollyfan on January 26, 2013, 07:02 am
ROFLMAO i love this thread... im too stoned to think of any good jokes, but meh... keep up the good jokes peepz
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:04 am
I heard that it was fun to take ambien and then stay awake and masturbate. I didn’t enjoy it at all; my hand fell asleep.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:05 am
I tried speed dating but I liked the speed more than the dating.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:05 am
What kind of shoes are made from bananas skins? Slippers.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:06 am
Have you heard of the new restaurant on the moon? The food is amazing, but I've heard its got no atmosphere...
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:06 am
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: mike12124 on January 26, 2013, 07:07 am
imadog these are great.
two sperm are swimming along, one says to the other "man this is great how far until the uterus you think?"
other sperm says "must be pretty damn far we just passed the tonsils!"
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:07 am
What happened to the boy who drank 8 cokes? He burped 7-Up.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:07 am
imadog these are great.
two sperm are swimming along, one says to the other "man this is great how far until the uterus you think?"
other sperm says "must be pretty damn far we just passed the tonsils!"
thx
lol nice
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:08 am
What kind of rooms have no walls? Mushrooms.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:09 am
why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:14 am
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:15 am
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:15 am
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:16 am
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:16 am
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:17 am
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: JCash98 on January 26, 2013, 07:18 am
I aint got time for this shiz
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:18 am
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:19 am
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:20 am
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: imadog on January 26, 2013, 07:21 am
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: jshizzle23 on January 26, 2013, 07:41 am
"Owww, you shot me, you K-HOLE!!!!"

SR's Dr. Evil
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: pushkin on January 26, 2013, 08:46 am
Pinokio has drown
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: mollyfan on January 26, 2013, 08:57 am
2 blondes walk into a bar... think the 3rd will see it?
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: pushkin on January 26, 2013, 09:57 am
2+2=5
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: Ѕpongebоb on April 19, 2013, 06:43 am
rtxcwx
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: saddamwhosane on April 19, 2013, 07:40 am
Lester Moore was a Wells Fargo Co. station agent, and is buried at Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

His epitaph:

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: archer12 on April 19, 2013, 08:18 am
Why did the pervert cross the road...because his penis was stuck inside the chicken
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: bh17 on April 19, 2013, 08:28 am
 :)
Title: Re: The Joke Thread (aka Get to 50!)
Post by: 1Baker on April 19, 2013, 11:08 am
Why did the chicken cross the silk road?







To buy all the drugs he could afford!