Silk Road forums
Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: iLoveTaffy on June 06, 2013, 01:29 am
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Into an addiction, that is. Of course, on the news, on the Internet, and even in drug circles, you always hear about the bad, and never the good.
So, what about some of the good? Do any of you get any actual benefit out of heroin besides its recreational potentials? Do you feel like you could simply quit any day; and have you?
How much willpower do you feel you have over the substance?
In my opinion, heroin is a very powerful drug that needs to be treated with respect and used properly, but I think it can be a VERY good drug if used in such a way. Does anyone here agree with me?
There's no need to bash or say "You're headed for that spiral; quit while you're ahead." So be it. I feel, at least right now, comfortable using without leading to addiction. I feel as if I have the willpower to overcome it. I do not crave it. I just love it. Same thing with marijuana and especially LSD (probably my favorite drug).
Who else respects this beast of a chemical?
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I let my opiate addiction get out of hand before. It was because I was naive about how those drugs work, the ins and outs of withdrawal and quitting and being a "functional addict". The process of using Bupe for a year, overdosing, going to rehab, going through withdrawal, staying sober for a long time and hating it, and starting back on drugs taught me a whole world of tricks and methods for walking along the razor's edge.
They say that no one chips for very long, and weekend warriors become daily dosers pretty quick. The drug works that way. But if you know intimately how it seduces you, you just may be able to get along without getting stuck in quicksand. The way I control it is pretty simple. I only have access to H on SR, and getting bitcoins and ordering and waiting for the mailman is a bit of a bitch and I am a lazy person. Plus, I'm poor. I only allow myself to buy some bitcoins and put in an order if the bills are paid. So that ends up being about once a month. So I have a bangin' week once every month, but during the in-between time I get really jonsey for drugs - preferably H, but really just anything to get me altered and in a good mood. So I've discovered a few other substances that help me pass the time in between SR orders. Phenibut is completely legal in the US, and it can get you extremely fucked up if you take enough. It will give you a nod just like H, although it is not an opiate agonist at all - I believe it is a GABA agonist. Kratom can be fun sometimes, and it's legal. I also have access to some prescription drugs that I can "abuse" to get to a good place. And a lot of nights I just stay sober, which is kind of a bitch, but I'm training myself to be able to be sober but content. It's "self control", but not in a way that I'm fighting against my urges - it's more like just accepting life as it is and settling into it however I can. I meditate a lot and have learned a lot of somatic therapy and cognitive-behavioral tricks to help me find peace in my mind and in my body. And, I'm learning how to deal with life like a real grown up, and a big part of that is just accepting that a lot of life is plowing through a bunch of mildly crappy experiences in order to get your ducks in a row enough to break out and have occasional fun times.
Us addicts expect life to be pleasurable all the time, and feel cheated when it isn't. But the sad truth is that it isn't for most people. It can be, easily, if you have someone show you how. It takes a long time to figure it out on your own. But everyone knows one or two dudes who just have life figured out and seem to be living some kind of game show. You get into a shitty situation and it ruins your whole week. They get into the exact same shitty situation and it becomes a funny story to tell while chillin and drinking some brews. It's easy to hate them for it, but they are usually the kind of people that no one could hate, because they radiate such good vibes all the time. The thing to do is to follow them and adopt their attitude. A lot of it is just saying "fuck it," and not worrying about anything, accepting that you don't have much control over life. Whether they know it or not, it's basically Taoism. Be like The Dude (from the Big Lebowski) and just take life as it comes. Put down the H long enough to keep yourself from getting dependent. Instead of thinking about how annoying it is to not be able to drift off into a fuzzy, warm, dreamy bliss, think of your time being sober as an experience you are adding to your collection. Pain doesn't really hurt that much if you frame it as an intense experience instead of "oh poor me." And remember that staying straight for a little while keeps the high beautiful. You know that if you do it every day it's going to stop feeling good after a while - or at least not feel nearly as good. So you are putting in some hours to make that next high all the more wonderful. If it kills you to be sober, just do other drugs - cycle through different drugs so that you aren't on one drug for extended periods, and you won't get nearly as dependent on any of them. So do coke this weekend, weed all week, get drunk as fuck next weekend, weed and benzos for the hangover, beer and weed through the week, roll on Friday night, take it easy on Saturday and watch some baseball and drink a few brews with your best friends. Get through the work week however you can without damaging your performance - I'm a big fan of MJ, because you can do it all the time and not worry about addiction or health problems like you would with other drugs. Plow through the work week just thinking of how you have half a bundle of #4 coming in the mail. Then, all weekend be high as fuck and let it be fucking amazing. Then go back to work and do whatever you have to do to survive and be ok with doing what you have to do. Reward yourself on the weekend with some good Molly or a gram of coke. Get laid. Go out and pick up girls or boys. Remember that there are a bunch of fun things to do in addition to H. Feel calm and comfortable knowing that the H will be there in a little while - you just have to get through a number of days and it will happen. It's like waiting for Christmas when you were a kid (if your family celebrates that holiday). Bide your time and get distracted however you can. I like to get into sports. I pick a favorite team and follow them. It adds some meaning to my life, and gives me something to look forward to.
Sorry for the wall of text. TL;DR - only do H often enough that your body doesn't become dependent, and just do other drugs in the meantime. Learn to say "fuck it" to live and live like a old hippy.
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Oh yeah, you needn't worry about about me with H. I use it roughly 2-3 times a week, and 3 is pushing it. I make my one shipment a month last that entire month. I also use other drugs; ketamine, weed (ALL day long), psychedelics like shrooms, LSD, DMT, I LOVE DXM and I'm waiting on some MXE.
Being sober is awful, I hate this reality, but, guess what? The person you described is me. I do live like an old hippie and I'm in my 20s. I've grown up FAST due to health problems. I've had to grow up. Not caring about shit that you can't control makes life MUCH easier to deal with, and FAR less painful.
I love drugs. I always will. I don't like stimulants because even just one cup of coffee will having me awak for DAYS, but downers... I love them. LSD keeps me up, but I use it once a month, two weeks at the very minimum. I LOVE it though.
Kratom does nothing for me. I don't even feel it. My pain, however, is a constant 9 on the pain scale of 1-10. It's almost the worst pain of my life, and sometimes it gets that bad. Heroin takes it all away. Yet, even so, I don't crave it. I am not addicted. I control my usage. I'm smart about it. You HAVE to be, or, as you said, walking the razor edge will be impossible. You're gonna slip up and cut yourself eventually if you're not careful. Thankfully, I consider myself careful.
Respect the drug and it will respect you.
(Also, if you can think of any other interesting drugs that I haven't listed, I'd love to try them... I'm always up for trying something new and relaxing).
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In my opinion, heroin is a very powerful drug that needs to be treated with respect and used properly, but I think it can be a VERY good drug if used in such a way. Does anyone here agree with me?
Opiates in general are very powerful substances. Quincey called opium the "panacea of humanity", since it could bring happiness and remove many of the maladies (almost all of the addicted to opiates almost never go ill on "normal" things like flu etc.); Quincey evidenced also how opium could bring mystical dreams if used in a certain way. The ancient Egyptians used opiates in great quantities and it was considered a sacred substance just for this. Many of the "bad" symptoms of opiates are to be attributed to the cuts for the most part (also if naturally, as for every medicine, depending on the quantity taken every substance can turn into a poison).
As for the addiction, the problematic is always the same. Everything that should be considered sacred should never become an habit, elsewhere you turn the sacred into the common. This is the point. Becoming addicted to something is not the problem of the substance but of the individual. For this drug laws don't make ANY sense. Banning a substance doesn't revolve the problem of addiction just because the substance is not the cause of it. Banning the substance actually worsen the problem, since the hunger for the habit turns the common into an adventure in itself (at last at beginning).
Btw, I think that if medicine really wanted they could work on removing the "addiction" part from opiates or anyway find ways to counteract it with something that doesn't substitute the addiction to a substance for another one (and in the case of methadone an even worse addiction that what you got before), it is just that there are too many interests (money) involved for things remaining as they are.
As for the plant, Papaverum Somniferum is a weed. It grows very very easily in almost all terrain. It is all the illegality etc. that turns something so common into something pricey. Even if you would get an addiction it would not be a problem to continue it if things were as they should be. Naturally there are many bad things on becoming addicted to opiates, but anyway it's always better than having to steal or commit crimes to obtain something that should not require anything of the sort.
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I don't know if they could remove the addiction potential, simply because of the euphoria, but if they could pinpoint what causes dependencies, and they released an opoid that didn't cause it, that company would instantly become limitlessly rich.
If I could use heroin daily, I would. I don't, because of the dependency issues, but my pain warrants it. It makes me wish I was in the UK. But, I absolutely love your view on heroin. Opiates in general. It's a mature outlook. I like it.
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I don't know if they could remove the addiction potential, simply because of the euphoria, but if they could pinpoint what causes dependencies, and they released an opoid that didn't cause it, that company would instantly become limitlessly rich.
They would instantly become death.
Do you think that all very powerful individuals interested in the opiates market would even minimally allow a thing as that to happen?
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I don't know if they could remove the addiction potential, simply because of the euphoria, but if they could pinpoint what causes dependencies, and they released an opoid that didn't cause it, that company would instantly become limitlessly rich.
They would instantly become death.
Do you think that all very powerful individuals interested in the opiates market would even minimally allow a thing as that to happen?
I do believe it. Firmly. Do I believe that 99% of them would not want to release something like that? Yeah, I do. But as we have RCs, who's to say an RC opiate won't show up that doesn't cause dependency issues?
Not only Big Pharma works on chemical synthesis and discovery. :)
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But as we have RCs, who's to say an RC opiate won't show up that doesn't cause dependency issues?
It will never happen. Do you think that nobody already discovered something like that? It's just that you cannot bring the discovery to public knowledge (or even to a strict group) because you will be death in seconds and with you all people connected with it plus the formula.
There are too many interests on the dependency part of the opiates to remain as it is. There are many criminal groups that base their emperors on that dependency and its results. I guess even some governative branches do the same, in fact, or at least they actively partake of the "benefits" of that dependency.
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I believe you're falling into the catagory of "conspiracy theorist". Note, I'm not trying to be offensive, I just think you're acting a bit too extreme on the topic at hand. No, they wouldn't be killed; if they would, Hoffman would've been killed for his LSD discovery.
No. Not at all. If it's possible, it will happen. Simple as that.
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I managed to control mine when I was using H, mostly just a weekend user of it for several years. The reason I stopped was because the people around me started getting heavily addicted, and had a few close calls with overdoses that terrified me. Since I quit, two of those friends have died.
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I managed to control mine when I was using H, mostly just a weekend user of it for several years. The reason I stopped was because the people around me started getting heavily addicted, and had a few close calls with overdoses that terrified me. Since I quit, two of those friends have died.
I'm sorry to hear that, friend... I've lost some close friends too, but not to H. I don't have a drug-abusing crowd I hang with. Honestly, if you have naloxone, you should be fine. I've had a few close calls, but they were all on purpose, and the euphoria made me inject naloxone. Suicide is stupid. I won't ever do that again.
But if you're smart with opiates, you simply just won't die... it's just like water. If you drink too much of it, you can die from water toxicity... Too much of anything is bad. Another reason I love SR so much. You are almost guaranteed quality that you can confirm. On the street, you can't. Which is why I have never gotten any drug on the street, ever. Not even weed.
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No, they wouldn't be killed; if they would, Hoffman would've been killed for his LSD discovery.
Psychedelics have a different nature than opiates. The modus operandi of the two are worlds apart, as many times the users of the two (not always, naturally) and the motivations for the use.
I'm not in conspiracies theories, I just know that the interests in the opiates it is too large for something like that to happen. Human traffic, terrorism, slavery, most low scale crime (that is dutifully controlled by those that have interests in it) etc. are tied to dependency on these substances. The system is nowadays too much built on that for something to change.
It is the same as for petroleum and alternative fuels. Do you know from how many years alternative fuels than petroleum have been discovered and along it specific vehicles to work with them? You would be astounded. Yet they aren't for what it concerns the public, they literally don't exist and it is all a sort of myth. What do you think it is the motive?
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I see where you're coming from, I truly do. But like you said, not all. You are 99% correct though. I almost completely agree, I just think that it IS possible, and if it CAN be done it WILL be done. No ida when, or if even in my lifetime, but if it's possible, it'll happen.
Maybe it has and it's under wraps, like you're saying. Who knows, I certainly don't. But one of these days it'll be out there if possible. This is what I firmly believe. Alternative fules are also a whole other ball game, so I think us comparing opiates to LSD and opiates to alternative fules is probably wrong.
Honestly, let's just look at them for what they are: heavenly. Treat them with respect and don't overly abuse them. :) We can both agree on that, I think?
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I'll comment on the original topic--
it depends 100% on an individuals own tendencies to succumb to addictive tendencies. Like when I was in high school, I discovered weed and alcohol, and I literally went balls to the wall abusing them both for a little over a year. Now granted, they are relatively benign substances, but I would say in retrospect that if I kept living like I had for years more, my life would be damn close to worthless.
Anyway I did finally force myself to consider my position in this world and assess my value to the overall existence of everything. Since then I've become pretty much an entirely different person. I'm more driven and focused on leaving my mark and contributing to the people around me and my own future. I have *entirely* new view of my life, and I can easily say if I hadn't stopped being so hedonistic and abusive, this would not be the case.
I still really enjoy opiates though. I do them once in a long while when I have time and can enjoy the benefits of a clear head without the need to worry anxiously over whether I should be doing something "better" with my time. This anxiety is what helped me grow into who I am and is also what is able to keep my opiate use to a handful of times a year, if any. But another thing that helps me limit use is the knowledge that using in close temporal proximity not only diminishes the good but brings about the evil. If I had used opiates in high school, I'd be dead I'm sure. But the way I use has worked for me and my wife for almost two decades.
So like I said at the top, it depends your own ability to see past the feeling and the euphoria and recognize that the *only* way to 100% enjoy heroin is to avoid the addictive patterns that are so easy to fall into for most people that use this substance. Once you can do that, you won't want to use it again after you just have--you'll want to do something else "better" than going back to it.
As for the mythical "non-addictive" opiate...and alternative fuels...I see no reason why these things won't happen in the future, especially since the catalyst of their creation has already occurred, what with suboxone and electric cars. It's hard for me to envision a future where there are no energy-conscious vehicles and infrastructure, and everyone just uses heroin all the time--that would be a regression from everything that's been achieved in the past few decades, and when I look at the things that have been achieved in just the last 50 years, I generally see progress, not regression. (On the whole--I won't say that nothing has gotten worse, but things on the whole, have gotten better). So I acknowledge that there are powerful people with an interest in keeping things at the status quo, and that they spend their time ensuring that they become more powerful, but on the whole, I don't think those parties will be able to stop innovation that has already been started in both of those areas--medical research and energy research.
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There are several different kinds of addicts
The most "common" one (the most portrayed), the devastated addict, in a crack house, sunken eyes, no job, no friends, track marks on every inch of their skin... The result of people not being able to handle the weight of life's difficulties and it's rat race, or pain of great loss
The "functioning addict", which isn't actually an addict, it is just a person who has a busy lifestyle that doesn't allow them to sit on their couch 25 hours a day shooting smack, and spending the other time of the week trying to acquire more; they have lives that keep them busy and can only use it sparingly in a recreational way. Or they use a very small amount of opiates quite regularly, to ease some pain or to make life a little less stressful, but they aren't fucked up "addicts" that most would picture.
The "strongarm" addict... The guy that has an alpha-dog position in whatever they do, usually crime, and they deal, but do a lot of other drugs as well. They are wreckless, violent, and partake in most juvenile activities. They function, and they can definitely make their way in life, usually in a dirty way, but they are on the "wrong side of the tracks".
The "zen" addict... These people use it vary rarely, and treat it with the respect it deserves as a sacred substance. These people also take other drugs, but also for purposes of mental gain, and experimentation that would result in a greater collection of knowledge and collective data on what substances can influence what thought patterns or behavioral patterns. They are not addicts, but get classified because they use it more than once in a year. Because it is heroin, people consider it "addiction".
It's sad, but that's how people say it.
My take is, if you have more than 6 hours in a day awake sitting around bored or having to look for things to fill the time, stay the fuck away from Heroin. The people that fall into the trap of weed, heroin, coke, MDMA or meth, are the ones that have TOO MUCH TIME on their hands, and too much money to piss away without regard for their own well-being.
Just... Smoke opium. Don't IV heroin. Cycle psychedelic and empathogenic drugs to fulfill your desire to escape the lucidity of reality.
the biggest problem is the comedown and withdrawel. No matter who you are, heroin withdrawel is a horrendous experience and I feel it definitely outweighs the sinking bliss of awesomeness it provides for it's comparatively shorter duration.
Make your own assessment.
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Just... Smoke opium. Don't IV heroin. Cycle psychedelic and empathogenic drugs to fulfill your desire to escape the lucidity of reality.
Real opium, good opium, is almost impossible to find in developed countries on continents far from the golden triangle or SE Asia. But good point. I would almost rather smoke opium anyway. Longer lasting, more interesting high. The H rush only lasts a short time, and after that you're basically just on morphine. With opium, you get that dreamy mix of all the opiates that whoever the god of plants is put there for us thankful little hairless monkeys.
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I've never smoked opium before.
Any recommended vendors? If it's as good for pain relief as heroin is, I'll give it a try.
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Thought my H habit was totally under control and then somehow my family was like "Yeah you're super fucked up you need rehab" and I had no idea I was a full blown addict until I detoxed, used within hours of leaving detox, failing all my IOP DT's and then getting sent to an inpatient facility....
sometimes you really think you have it under control but in reality you're fucking IV'ing heroin. If you're sticking a needle in your arm to get high you've probably gone over the edge, regardless of how much you're doing. It's one of those ticking time bombs....I wish I never IV'd because now I can't enjoy any drugs without thinking "hmm let's put it in a rig for shits and giggles"
but to each his own. I love Narcotics Anonymous though it's helped me so much.
anyone else in the rooms?
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No, not me... I stop for months at a time without withdrawal or relapse. I only restart opiate use when pain calls for it. I use them PRN, even heroin.
I feel like I have control over it... but who knows. Maybe I don't. We'll find out in a year or two maybe. :P
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I don't know if they could remove the addiction potential, simply because of the euphoria, but if they could pinpoint what causes dependencies, and they released an opoid that didn't cause it, that company would instantly become limitlessly rich.
They would instantly become death.
Do you think that all very powerful individuals interested in the opiates market would even minimally allow a thing as that to happen?
Hey yo bro I was struck by both your statement and your avatar. First off, do you refer the (not so) hidden powers that be that really control the drug trade? And secondly what's the story with the Baphomet avatar?
Drugs are deliberately kept illegal for the vast profit it brings. People please understand even if they legalized and / or decriminalized drugs and threw all the taxes the could justify throwing on top of the price of drugs it still wouldn't make the insane volume of money it makes now!! Not only that, keeping it illegal allows them to put you in prison for exercising a choice!! Once in prison they can have you work for a couple of cents an hour (SLAVE WAGES) in a prison that they now own through all the prison-privatizations that have been going on internationally for years now. As Larry Hoover (leader The Black Disciples gang) once said, "you've got MasterCard owning prisons now!".
I hope this gives you guys an idea of the bigger picture if you didn't already see it for yourself.
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Of course we all see that picture. I certainly do. It's all propaganda. But it's likely true. Drugs are illegal for a reason, and a BAD reason at that.
That's why I feel as if I owe DPR my life. I idolize him and am truly thankful for SR and the conviences it offers. Plus, it has made a LOT of people a LOT of money. DPR did good. Very, very good.
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Hey yo bro I was struck by both your statement and your avatar. First off, do you refer the (not so) hidden powers that be that really control the drug trade? And secondly what's the story with the Baphomet avatar?
No, I don't refer to the "Illuminati" and similar idiocies (the real Illuminati were a Bavarian order in the XVIII century) and the Baphomet has nothing to do with these imbecilities. If you want to know what the Baphomet REALLY means in esoteric terms, read Eliphas Lévi's "The Dogma and Ritual of High Magic".
The conspiracy theories about Reptilians/Illuminati/Annunaki/Whatever (that should be a conglomerate of Zionists + Freemasons + Satanists + Luciferans + Rosicrucian, as if they had something in common one with the other) you see around in clearnet are always created by people that or are completely ignorant of what they are talking about and given this ignorance cannot understand what some things really are and so mix together completely different topics (as in the example of the above mentioned orders) as they should be the same, or they willingly do the same for their own ends (that's even worse), as in the case of the "Satanic Panic" started in the 80s that caused the death of many people for the sake's of some unscrupulous individuals that only cared about their public return and fame.
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Of course we all see that picture. I certainly do. It's all propaganda. But it's likely true. Drugs are illegal for a reason, and a BAD reason at that.
That's why I feel as if I owe DPR my life. I idolize him and am truly thankful for SR and the conviences it offers. Plus, it has made a LOT of people a LOT of money. DPR did good. Very, very good.
Yeah I completely agree with you about I wouldn't go as far to say that I idolize DPR. But I would definitely say that completely adhere to the whole ideology of this site. It's kind of a utopic society in it's own right. It's also proof that there is another we can all get along with each other the way a functioning society should. And yeah I'd really like to start vending but don't have the money to start up yet. I'm not sure what I'd get in to either!! Seeing as I live in Australia I could make a really decent profit of supplying domestically if I could get a rapport with (and eventually product) from a source country vendor.
No, I don't refer to the "Illuminati" and similar idiocies (the real Illuminati were a Bavarian order in the XVIII century) and the Baphomet has nothing to do with these imbecilities. If you want to know what the Baphomet REALLY means in esoteric terms, read Eliphas Lévi's "The Dogma and Ritual of High Magic".
The conspiracy theories about Reptilians/Illuminati/Annunaki/Whatever (that should be a conglomerate of Zionists + Freemasons + Satanists + Luciferans + Rosicrucian, as if they had something in common one with the other) you see around in clearnet are always created by people that or are completely ignorant of what they are talking about and given this ignorance cannot understand what some things really are and so mix together completely different topics (as in the example of the above mentioned orders) as they should be the same, or they willingly do the same for their own ends (that's even worse), as in the case of the "Satanic Panic" started in the 80s that caused the death of many people for the sake's of some unscrupulous individuals that only cared about their public return and fame.
No I wasn't referring to any of the aforementioned Illunminism / Satanism thing. I was just synchronistically "struck" by the image and was given the impression that you were well read or at the very least semi-informed on occult / esoteric type knowledge therefore you would probably better understand where I was coming from. Or better yet, you could better understand what I was trying to get across about the drug trade being perpetuated in order to fill the black budgets and so forth. Reading your reply just totally confirmed that for me. Pretty good for a "presumption" huh!?!
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No I wasn't referring to any of the aforementioned Illunminism / Satanism thing. I was just synchronistically "struck" by the image and was given the impression that you were well read or at the very least semi-informed on occult / esoteric type knowledge therefore you would probably better understand where I was coming from. Or better yet, you could better understand what I was trying to get across about the drug trade being perpetuated in order to fill the black budgets and so forth. Reading your reply just totally confirmed that for me. Pretty good for a "presumption" huh!?!
Oh, sorry then. I thought you were one of those nut-heads that always talks about rapture, chem-trails, ktm ultra and whatever other idiocy and that assumed I was a children killer because I had the image of Baphomet as an avatar.
It is much more probable to find these sort of people around than those that know what the image is from an esoteric pow, so when you asked about it in this particular thread (that also talks about conspiracies) my shield mechanism turned automatically on.
Good to have another children sacrificer around here; I hope the last one was good. There are so many obese children around that really taste awful. The sabbath is no more as it was years ago. ;)
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No I wasn't referring to any of the aforementioned Illunminism / Satanism thing. I was just synchronistically "struck" by the image and was given the impression that you were well read or at the very least semi-informed on occult / esoteric type knowledge therefore you would probably better understand where I was coming from. Or better yet, you could better understand what I was trying to get across about the drug trade being perpetuated in order to fill the black budgets and so forth. Reading your reply just totally confirmed that for me. Pretty good for a "presumption" huh!?!
Oh, sorry then. I thought you were one of those nut-heads that always talks about rapture, chem-trails, ktm ultra and whatever other idiocy and that assumed I was a children killer because I had the image of Baphomet as an avatar.
It is much more probable to find these sort of people around than those that know what the image is from an esoteric pow, so when you asked about it in this particular thread (that also talks about conspiracies) my shield mechanism turned automatically on.
Good to have another children sacrificer around here; I hope the last one was good. There are so many obese children around that really taste awful. The sabbath is no more as it was years ago. ;)
Nagh I'm as about as much of a nut-job as you are a child killer!! Don't get me wrong I'm well read on all things "conspiracy" including all topics you previously mentioned and all those that go with it. I'm more interested in the works of people who have been silenced for the things they've shared with the rest of us. But yeah I totally abstain from any arguments regarding these topics because they fall in both realms of religion and politics. I'm also into learning about how the occult plays it's part in these events. Especially after learning about a fella named John Todd who's lectures made me more aware to how the occult plays a massive part in all of this.
Also I'm a reptilian shape-shifter disguised as a heroin addict. Nobody suspects a thing!! :-X ;)
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I probably do about a gram every 2-3 weeks (insufflated), and I would say I'm functioning- have a good job and got excellent grades in school. However I usually do that gram in about a 3 day binge, and then I have what I would imagine are minor withdrawls for 2-3 days after (they are the only withdrawals I have ever known, my worst binge is maybe 7 days). So that certainly hurts me in that for those 6 days I am not functioning near to my maximum potential.
Also I find that I think about opiates very often even if I don't do it that often. If I had a shitty day and have time to relax at night, well I think opiates will make it better. A weekend with a girl I really care about- well I'd enjoy it, but I bet I'll enjoy it even more with some dope. You get what I mean?
So, I don't think I'll spiral out of control and I do believe I will continue to function, but at this rate I'm starting to think it has too large of a grip on my life. I use it as motivation almost, work the hell out of this week so I can really enjoy the weekend type mentality- and I don't know if having heroin as your motivation is quite healthy.
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Well, if there are different types of addicts/addiction I have been them all (probably). I have used for over 20 years plus, been on a methadone maintenance prescription for 10 years plus and now on a Subutex prescription.
I did 12 months rehab about 15 years ago and got clean for all that time aside from weed, which I have smoked all the time since I was 14. Before Rehab I was a horrible junkie nothing else mattered, we all know the stereotype, so I won't go on.
After rehab it was very different, I have worked ever since leaving the rehab, in a job I enjoy I am in a stable relationship. I now live a fair way away form most of the R/L connections I have and that helps me stay clear of using Brown every day.
I have access to all the weed I need and the only drugs I need to score are available to me through SR, I try to control my Brown use (No3 for me as the high is much better than no4 imo as it does not just send me to nod land, I get a dreamy high, can't sleep, itchy skin/ nose, very euphoric)
by only buying once a week & not buying more than I will use over a couple of days. Then for those couple of days, I use no Subutex and when the Gear is gone I use a little extra Bupe. Before SR I went longer without, and had to rely on other methods of getting some No3 when I needed a tickle, that meant straying back into the old ghetto's. So I am very grateful to SR for helping to keep me safe.
I could go on, but the point being that, there are lots of reasons to use gear and you have to be strong to control it. I think it is easier to control, once you know what being out of control is. I would not want to do a 70ml Methadone withdrawal ever again. Subutex rattles, on the other hand are not too bad, but I have not had to do proper 'Rattle' for ages, thankfully.
I would not be a hypocrite and tell anyone not to do Gear, but I would say don't get a habit, and if for some reason you do, please don't use Methadone, as it is fucking poison.(after all it was Method-one in the WW2 prison camps) It makes a little habit that you could get through in a week, into a life long problem. So please take care, & I can say this from my own experiences.
C
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Speaking from experience, I'd wager there aren't alot of once a week heroin users who don't end up in trouble at some point.
I can say with certainty, the moment you IV heroin your life expectancy just reduced a WHOLE damn lot, regardless of what you did before.
Life without it is just NEVER as fun or interesting again, and it never leaves the back of your mind, I'd personally rather NOT have to use constant willpower to stay away from it, I just wish I never knew it.
Again, talking from 15 years plus experience here, I know plenty of people that dabbled in it, never did it again, or did it and just didn't like it. If you DID (like most of us) think its the greatest high there is, your going to (eventually) end up in trouble trying to control this and there is hundreds of years of peoples collective experience to back this up.
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It's easy. Just don't use more than one day in any 2 week period. PERIOD. Problem solved.
I view dope as a purely recreational activity. I love it but I'm not gonna ruin my life over it.
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Well, if there are different types of addicts/addiction I have been them all (probably). I have used for over 20 years plus, been on a methadone maintenance prescription for 10 years plus and now on a Subutex prescription.
I did 12 months rehab about 15 years ago and got clean for all that time aside from weed, which I have smoked all the time since I was 14. Before Rehab I was a horrible junkie nothing else mattered, we all know the stereotype, so I won't go on.
After rehab it was very different, I have worked ever since leaving the rehab, in a job I enjoy I am in a stable relationship. I now live a fair way away form most of the R/L connections I have and that helps me stay clear of using Brown every day.
I have access to all the weed I need and the only drugs I need to score are available to me through SR, I try to control my Brown use (No3 for me as the high is much better than no4 imo as it does not just send me to nod land, I get a dreamy high, can't sleep, itchy skin/ nose, very euphoric)
by only buying once a week & not buying more than I will use over a couple of days. Then for those couple of days, I use no Subutex and when the Gear is gone I use a little extra Bupe. Before SR I went longer without, and had to rely on other methods of getting some No3 when I needed a tickle, that meant straying back into the old ghetto's. So I am very grateful to SR for helping to keep me safe.
I could go on, but the point being that, there are lots of reasons to use gear and you have to be strong to control it. I think it is easier to control, once you know what being out of control is. I would not want to do a 70ml Methadone withdrawal ever again. Subutex rattles, on the other hand are not too bad, but I have not had to do proper 'Rattle' for ages, thankfully.
I would not be a hypocrite and tell anyone not to do Gear, but I would say don't get a habit, and if for some reason you do, please don't use Methadone, as it is fucking poison.(after all it was Method-one in the WW2 prison camps) It makes a little habit that you could get through in a week, into a life long problem. So please take care, & I can say this from my own experiences.
C
I agree nearly entirely agree with you charas420 hence the +1. The only reason why I don't entirely agree with you is the fact that I have no experience with no. 3 at all!! Reading your high praises for no. 3 really makes me want to try it!! For the first time in my life. Here in Australia we don't get no. 3, it's all no. 4. Any vendors that you'd recommend to me? I like the description "creamy". I'm on 12ml of Done (60mg) I'm starting to think it was the worst mistake I've made bar none so far! Now I'm not sure if you meant you were on 70ml or 70mg. And there's a MASSIVE difference in the two. Oral Methadone usually comes at a concentration of 5mg per 1ml of liquid. So if you were on a 70ML dose you would have been in actuality been taking 350 MILLIGRAMS of Methadone!! That's totally unbelievable that any doctor would prescribe that amount. And if you were no wonder why coming off it was so fucking hard!! I'm dreading coming off of the dose I'm on but it will be worth it the day that I do!!
I've been in a pattern of selling my take home doses to mates and using the heroin that supposed to get me by for those 4 days in 2 days maybe less depending on where I get my gear from either way none of my RL dealers sell anything that would get me through 4 days on $200 anyway! And the days that I haven't got it are total hell. Depression, suicidal thoughts, wanting to sleep the day away instead of being miserable and that's not including the withdrawal symptoms. I don't know what to do personally except advise against it. But yeah, I'd rather spend a week withdrawing from Heroin than months withdrawing from Methadone.
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It's easy. Just don't use more than one day in any 2 week period. PERIOD. Problem solved.
I view dope as a purely recreational activity. I love it but I'm not gonna ruin my life over it.
Haha I used to say that too, once upon a time. I'm glad you could stick to it!!