Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: hotdamn on June 20, 2012, 01:34 pm
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Ok, I've decided that it's time to have the "talk" with my parents about our views on drugs and i was hoping to get some insight and advice from others before i jump in the deep end so to speak. Their viewpoint on the matter is one of typical sheep stance with them only believing what they read in the media about drugs as they were never shown the good side of drugs and i know what the governments anti-drug campaigns can do to people so its completely understandable. They don't know any better, it's simply not their fault.
Other than our clear difference in opinion, I have quite a good relationship with my parents and this is the first time that we will have an actual open discussion about drugs so i don't really want to fuck it up and end up yelling at each other or having a pointless back and forth HE SAID/SHE SAID conversion, that will achieve nothing. I don't want to sit there and just blurt out pro-drug statistics either. Instead, I hope to really get into the core of the debate about drugs and prove to them that most drugs aren't actually that bad and that there are so many more legal drugs which are actually far worse for your health. I want to be as honest as i can with them and as i truly believe that there is nothing inherently wrong with drugs i think ill be able to at least convey a somewhat good image of drugs. I feel that using examples of recreational drugs being used for therapeutic situations would be ideal (think ayuahasca and mdma being used to treat people with repressed memories, using ibogaine to treat heroin addicts).
I've been smoking pot for about 3 and a half years now and had my fair share of mdma, lsd, mushrooms, coke, rc's etc so i feel as though i'm fairly experienced with drugs (on the other hand i realise i've only experienced the tip of the iceberg =P) however my parents knowledge about my drug use is pretty limited with them only thinking a smoke a bit of pot here and there and dabble with a few "recreational drugs", so i have to be wise with what i tell them (If they knew the truth they would be terrified haha!). I saw that there was a thread about some dude looking for advice on how to change his girlfriends mind about drugs which had a bit of good info (the gf sounded like a lost cause haha) but i felt that most of the ideas lacked substance. I want to go into the conversation with a clear focus and have a rebuttal for every point thats brought up and most importantly, i want them to actually believe what i'm conveying to them and to not let my words slip into the back of their mind next time they see a piece of anti-drug marketing bullshit. Drugs aren't my life, but they are apart of my life and I care about my parents a lot so this is actually really meaningful and important to me. I'm hoping that we can get some good discussion about this topic and hopefully encourage others to try and "convert" the non-believers haha.
Thankyou
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I'm a mid-30s woman. I have an amazing relationship with my wonderful parents.
Don't. They don't want to know. No matter what you say or how you say it, what stats you give them, they are hardwired to need to love and protect you. They've been indoctrinated by a lifetime of propaganda, much of which - oh so cleverly - tells them that the 'drug addict' is in denial and will use charm and 'persuasive arguments' to justify their addiction.
In my opinion, it's just kinder to keep this one a big fat secret from them. I don't give a flying fuck about the whole world knowing about my drug use - and MY whole world pretty much does know - but because I love my parents, I let them stay in their bubble. I love them too much to cause them the heartache and worry that no amount of education will allay.
This, of course, is just my 2BTC worth :)
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Thats the thing though, they do want to know. Their not stupid and they realise that i've got an interest in drugs, which they have become quite desensitized to (they only think i just smoke pot occasionally and dabble in recreational drugs). I suppose i did portray them in the wrong light, they aren't completely against drugs, they just lack the understanding of accepting drugs. I really care about my parents but this is an issue i feel very strongly about so i'm not going to change any of my habits which means they have to deal with it regardless of what they think (they realise this as well). Deep down they only care about my best interests and they would rather be more open about it so that way they at least know that i don't have any problems etc
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I'm a mid-30s woman. I have an amazing relationship with my wonderful parents.
Don't. They don't want to know. No matter what you say or how you say it, what stats you give them, they are hardwired to need to love and protect you. They've been indoctrinated by a lifetime of propaganda, much of which - oh so cleverly - tells them that the 'drug addict' is in denial and will use charm and 'persuasive arguments' to justify their addiction.
In my opinion, it's just kinder to keep this one a big fat secret from them. I don't give a flying fuck about the whole world knowing about my drug use - and MY whole world pretty much does know - but because I love my parents, I let them stay in their bubble. I love them too much to cause them the heartache and worry that no amount of education will allay.
This, of course, is just my 2BTC worth :)
Agree^^^
They shouldn't be told. All this would do is cause them unneeded stress/worry, could even cause blood pressure issues depending on their health. IMO, the only situation you should have this "talk" is if you yourself get into some legal trouble and they find out that way, or if they somehow manage to find your stash. Again, this is just MY 2 bitcents
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How old are you?
If you're on your own, then this might be a good idea.
If not, you could be setting yourself up for hell to pay until you're old enough to move out.
Sounds like you have a fairly loving relationship with your parents. That could change if you both get frustrated as fuck at each other, them trying to change you, you trying to change them.
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Then again, I don't know your age or your parents' ages. Back in the day, my old man caught me smoking grass with friends at my house, and we had this sort of 'talk'. He admitted that he was quite the pothead back in high school/college, and even smokes from time to time nowadays.
After putting myself in rehab for addiction to some harder substances, they both eventually found out my entire drug history and still expressed quite a bit of concern/worry. Obviously I relapsed, albeit I'm now just a recreational user instead of habitual, I wouldn't wish to have another talk with them about my current drug use.
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I'm a mid-30s woman. I have an amazing relationship with my wonderful parents.
Don't. They don't want to know. No matter what you say or how you say it, what stats you give them, they are hardwired to need to love and protect you. They've been indoctrinated by a lifetime of propaganda, much of which - oh so cleverly - tells them that the 'drug addict' is in denial and will use charm and 'persuasive arguments' to justify their addiction.
In my opinion, it's just kinder to keep this one a big fat secret from them. I don't give a flying fuck about the whole world knowing about my drug use - and MY whole world pretty much does know - but because I love my parents, I let them stay in their bubble. I love them too much to cause them the heartache and worry that no amount of education will allay.
This, of course, is just my 2BTC worth :)
Agree^^^
They shouldn't be told. All this would do is cause them unneeded stress/worry, could even cause blood pressure issues depending on their health. IMO, the only situation you should have this "talk" is if you yourself get into some legal trouble and they find out that way, or if they somehow manage to find your stash. Again, this is just MY 2 bitcents
It seems that they are genuinely interested in having a conversation. They realise that i'm not going to magically stop taking drugs after having this discussion, likewise I don't think they will magically become pro-drug. Theres a high chance of nothing being solved but i'm willing to at least give it a shot. I'm not going to be blabbing about how i've munched down copious amounts of drugs, i'm merely going to try and show them that drugs aren't all that bad and they will most likely be concerned afterwards but they will thank me for being honest.
How old are you?
If you're on your own, then this might be a good idea.
If not, you could be setting yourself up for hell to pay until you're old enough to move out.
Sounds like you have a fairly loving relationship with your parents. That could change if you both get frustrated as fuck at each other, them trying to change you, you trying to change them.
I'm 20 and i still live at home. Most likely nothing will eventuate from the talk but i'm willing to at least give it a go. They have already started asking questions, mainly non-invasive ones so really its just a matter of when and as i said before i really want to be fully prepared and take advantage of this situation. I don't think our relationship will change that much, obv i won't tell them the full extent of my drug use. They put a lot of trust in me and i'm a really independant person so they know their opinion isn't going to have much of an effect on my actions.
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If they're genuinely interested in having the discussion it sounds like they've hinted at it before.
And it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into what you have to say.
So it seems worth a shot, I'd just wait until the next "in" they offer you.
You might want to be prepared with a backup plan though, in case it spirals into an argument after two hours and you end up needing a new place to live. People who were indoctrinated into the reefer madness have some pretty silly views about drugs.
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Then again, I don't know your age or your parents' ages. Back in the day, my old man caught me smoking grass with friends at my house, and we had this sort of 'talk'. He admitted that he was quite the pothead back in high school/college, and even smokes from time to time nowadays.
After putting myself in rehab for addiction to some harder substances, they both eventually found out my entire drug history and still expressed quite a bit of concern/worry. Obviously I relapsed, albeit I'm now just a recreational user instead of habitual, I wouldn't wish to have another talk with them about my current drug use.
Yeah i know some generations can be very stubborn in regard to contentious issues. I really have no qualms with having this discussion, in fact i'm actually looking forward to it. There really isn't that much that i wouldn't tell them about, hell i'd even tell them that i've enjoyed a delicious bong-rip for breakfast for the past 3 months if i thought that it would help the situation. Alas, telling them about my wake and bake shenanigans would not help them sleep at night so i think i'll keep that one too myself =P I think you guys are missing the point of this thread, it's not whether you think its a good option to talk to my parents or not, its more about discussing ideas which could potentially help my parents to see the light. I fully understand that the horse has been flogged many a time before but i'm going to continue to flog it some more.
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I don't know your parents, but there are two ways this could go.
1. You actually manage to talk a little sense into them, they still won't be happy about it but their minds will be slightly at ease
2. Everything you say goes in one ear and out the other, they disregard every single fact and statistic you give and just dismiss everything you say as a delusional junkie trying to justify his addiction.
With most parents, the second option is more likely
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I did this when i was about 18, in the midst of my cannabis activist ideals. I thought it was gonna go great, turns out my mother was bat shit crazy about weed and other drugs, I had to damn near bite my tongue when her face was beat red and she screamed it was safer to smoke a cigarette then a joint... Never brought it up again after that
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Back in my younger days (I'm 22 now), smoked pot, drank alcohol and all that jazz. I always told my mom that oh this friend *so-so* is a pot head, I don't do it that much, just occasionally (total bs but it eased her mind to know that I'm "responsible"). But when I got into LSD and Shrooms in the last 6 months, I had a discussion with her. It went along the lines of "it's fine if you do it at home but I don't want to see it or know that you are doing it". She did admit that she did go shroom picking in a cow field in Germany when she was my age so she knows what shrooms is like and kinda grateful for my admission and knowing that I don't do it in public. (I don't plan on being totally spun out in public).
It depends on your relationship with your parents or other family members, it can go one of two ways, they'll get mad/kick you out or they'll generally accept it after you explain that you are a responsible human being and would be willing to ask for help if you need it. My younger brother knows that I do both L and Shrooms and we did shrooms together once (very low dose) and had an awesome time. My aunt is against LSD because she saw someone spun out badly on what I assume to be a thumbprint type of dose, but is okay with shrooms because they come from nature.
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iv smoked spliffs with my dad once in the dam, it was a transit flight so i told my dad we are in the dam gota try weed , we ended up completely blitzed off this one amnesia spliff and nearly missed the plane cos we were so baked
mind you it didnt leave a good impression about weed, my parents think weed is a gateway drug and that i will end up wanting to do smack and coke on top of that they think its really "bad" for your health ect ect....
on the good note cos of my parents iv never openly smoked in my house which stopped me from turning into a complete pothead
but in the end if i could have done it all again id make sure my parents never found out, too much stress, arguing and backlashes id rather have kept it all to myself