Silk Road forums

Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: anom on February 18, 2013, 07:06 am

Title: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: anom on February 18, 2013, 07:06 am
Rules are: only post funny stories, jokes, etc.

Ill start off

What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: anom on February 18, 2013, 07:07 am
Q: What did the one gay magic mushroom say to the other gay magic mushroom?
A: How's it going fun guy?
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: anom on February 18, 2013, 07:07 am
Q: Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: anom on February 18, 2013, 07:08 am
Q: What do you get when you take acid and birth control pills?
A: A trip without the kids.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: anom on February 18, 2013, 07:10 am
Q: What is the worst thing about having snorted way too much meth?

A: You have to hold the jet when you take a leak.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: anom on February 18, 2013, 07:12 am
Q: What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute ...
A: ... A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: anom on February 18, 2013, 07:13 am
Q: What do you get if you swallow 10 kilos of cement?
A: Stoned.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: Delirium on February 18, 2013, 07:33 am
Why does jesus hate you?
Because he died for your sins.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: Delirium on February 18, 2013, 07:35 am
What did the cow say to The creator of life?
Thanks for the mammaries!
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: Delirium on February 18, 2013, 08:46 am
What did the doctor say to the old lady?
I'm sorry but the results came back positive...YOU'VE GOT CANCER!
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: Tdog on February 18, 2013, 01:50 pm
Two apples were hanging around smoking.

The first apple turns to the other and says "Dude this weeds gettin me trippin"
The seconds responds with "FUCK MAN, A TALKING APPLE!"
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: modalsol on February 18, 2013, 02:49 pm
Of all the utensils that were invented to eat rice with...

How the fuck did two sticks win?
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: modalsol on February 18, 2013, 02:58 pm
My dream job of driving trucks in Australia turned into a nightmare when I broke down in the outback hundreds of miles from civilisation.

After three days the water ran out and started drinking my own urine. After another three days I could no longer recycle my piss and realised I was out of options and had to accept the inevitable.

So I opened some of the Fosters I was delivering.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: modalsol on February 18, 2013, 03:05 pm
My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila.

"You're coming home now!" she screamed.

"No I'm not." I laughed.

She said, "I'm talking to the kids."
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DreamGreen on February 18, 2013, 03:08 pm
Q: Whats a bears favourite cheese?

A: Come on bear....
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: modalsol on February 18, 2013, 03:18 pm
I was late coming into work again and the boss was furious.

She called me into the office and said, "What's your excuse this time?"

"Slept in," I shrugged.

"For fuck's sake, at least tell me something I haven't heard before!"

I replied, "You're looking lovely today."
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: fakename709 on February 18, 2013, 10:25 pm
serg
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: edge59 on February 18, 2013, 10:49 pm
50
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DefaultUserID on February 18, 2013, 10:53 pm
Sometimes I wonder why that Frisbee is getting closer, and then it hits me.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: Baconmmm on February 18, 2013, 11:11 pm
50
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DefaultUserID on February 19, 2013, 12:42 am
Gay jokes aren't funny. Come on guys!
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DefaultUserID on February 19, 2013, 12:50 am
A state trooper sees a speeder with only 10min left on his shift while heading back to the station and attempts to pull him over. The car is an older sedan and doesn't stand a chance to outrun the officer but makes attempts lasting about 2min. The gentleman pulls the vehicle over and the officer runs the license plate and sees that the owner is an elderly man with no violations on his record. He approaches the vehicle and ensures the gentleman driving is the owner, and it is. He tells the driver that he only has 5min left on his shift, and that if he can give him a reason as to why he was speeding that the officer has never heard before he will let him go with just a warning. The old man thinks about it for a few seconds and says "My ex-wife ran off with a state trooper a couple of years ago, and I thought you were trying to bring her back." The officer hands him back his license and tells him to have a great day.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DefaultUserID on February 19, 2013, 01:06 am
Numero 10 (Please do away with the 50 post limit) or at least remove the Warning message that others have posted while I am typing!
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: sayword on February 19, 2013, 02:03 am
 ;D
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DefaultUserID on February 19, 2013, 03:41 am
Nailing those posts to the wall
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: Coffee_bok on February 19, 2013, 04:04 am
An Irishman walk out of a bar...
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DefaultUserID on February 19, 2013, 04:17 am
There was a movie where Bruce Lee kicked Chuck Norris's ass.... It used the most expensive special effects in any movie ever
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: unilever on February 19, 2013, 04:24 am
I want 50 posts
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DefaultUserID on February 19, 2013, 06:46 am
almost there!
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DefaultUserID on February 19, 2013, 06:48 am
Guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: mezzman on February 19, 2013, 06:55 am
This is soooooo much fun! :o
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: DefaultUserID on February 19, 2013, 07:05 am
Weeeeeeeee!
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: a10101 on February 19, 2013, 09:24 am
I like it!
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: Galtourpa on February 19, 2013, 09:48 am
Q: Whats brown and sticky?

A: A stick.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: ArizonaBakelite on February 19, 2013, 09:48 am
weeeeeee
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: Sekt0r on February 19, 2013, 10:09 am
:D
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: chubbz123 on February 19, 2013, 10:26 am
How do you get four gay people on one barstool?

Turn it upside down

BA DUM DUM PSTTTTT
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: Maltodextrin on February 19, 2013, 01:20 pm
Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: AcidWaveIII on February 19, 2013, 01:23 pm
Double your pleasure, double your fun, take one in the pussy, and one in the bum.   
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: anom on February 21, 2013, 10:21 pm
This is soooooo much fun! :o
OK so fun might have been an overstatement, but its better than talking to yourself
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: mrdiabolic on February 21, 2013, 10:46 pm
Your mother is so fat it is affecting her self esteem.
Title: Re: The fun get to 50 thread
Post by: mrdiabolic on February 21, 2013, 10:50 pm
Two cowboys walk into a bar because they want to drink away their sorrows.