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Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: JamesDeansSkull on January 12, 2012, 03:29 pm

Title: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: JamesDeansSkull on January 12, 2012, 03:29 pm
1 - When you see the flashing red and blue lights in your rear view mirror, think you have reached the disco and start dancing in the front seat.

2 - When the cop taps on the window, do not yell, "WHO IS IT!?!?"

3 - When the policeman says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?", do not say, "You think I have donuts?"

4 - Believe you are playing a real life version of GRAND THEFT AUTO.

5 - Begin playing NWA's "Fuck Tha' Police" on your radio very loudly.
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: doublemint on January 12, 2012, 09:25 pm
6. Hit the blunt

Lets see if we can get to 500?
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: SuperDimitri on January 12, 2012, 09:51 pm
 ;D
#4 should be #1!
thanks for the chuckle.
(I know where to find his real skull ;) )
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: willow01 on January 13, 2012, 03:35 am
6. Hit the blunt

Lets see if we can get to 500?

7. Pass the blunt
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: RickyRango on January 13, 2012, 03:57 am
8.  Inform the police officer you don't have to pay the ticket because you already pay his salary.
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: libertyfreedom92 on January 13, 2012, 04:02 am
9. Take one more sip of your natty light
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: chemikalstorm on January 13, 2012, 06:02 am
10. How fast was I going? Sweet I beat my high score! *Hand up for high five*
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: PriscillaMarie90 on January 13, 2012, 07:59 am
11. Quickly jump and seatbelt yourself into the passenger side seat, claiming you have no idea where the driver went.
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: Huxlay on January 13, 2012, 08:37 am
12. Don't act like a WISEGUY
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: novocaine on January 13, 2012, 01:05 pm
14- Ask if they would like a donut **pass up a bag of donuts**

No seriously this is not funny....apparently 8)
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: GORDENRAMSEY on January 13, 2012, 08:27 pm
When he asks,"Do you mind I search your car"
you reply , "Do you mind if I fist fuck your boyfriend"
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: JamesDeansSkull on January 13, 2012, 11:18 pm
.... Whenever I get pulled over I usually tell the cop I am a comic and am late for a show. Every time I have, the cop said, "OK. Tell me a joke."

I tell the same joke every time and I have never gotten a ticket.
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: doublemint on January 14, 2012, 12:21 am
15. Reach out for the officers gun (they hate when you do that).
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: zifnab on January 14, 2012, 06:25 am
16. Reply to 'Why were you speeding?' with 'Coz your wife just called and she is fine...'
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: Dissec on January 14, 2012, 09:49 am
.... Whenever I get pulled over I usually tell the cop I am a comic and am late for a show. Every time I have, the cop said, "OK. Tell me a joke."

I tell the same joke every time and I have never gotten a ticket.

Please tell us the joke! I want to start getting out of tickets! Not that I ever get any besides expired tags, but still.

Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: bozangles on January 14, 2012, 10:10 am
17. Do not attempt to answer the cop's questions using quotations from Jay-Z's "99 problems".
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: drugfather on January 14, 2012, 08:41 pm
9. Take one more sip of your natty light

best one yet..
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: maryaxmass on January 15, 2012, 04:55 am
.... Whenever I get pulled over I usually tell the cop I am a comic and am late for a show. Every time I have, the cop said, "OK. Tell me a joke."

I tell the same joke every time and I have never gotten a ticket.

Please tell us the joke! I want to start getting out of tickets! Not that I ever get any besides expired tags, but still.

I second this notion mostly out of curiosity at what type of joke consistently gets you out of tickets. Btw, impressive cover. I usually just have a panic attack when I get pulled over. It's not pretty.
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: JamesDeansSkull on January 16, 2012, 12:48 am
A man and wife are driving home one from a party down an old country road. Suddenly, the husband realizes they are near the field where, as teenagers, they would park and make out.
"Hey, honey!", The husband says. "Look over there! It's Farmer Brown's field where we used to park when we were teenagers."
"Why, yes it is", his wife replies.
"Wouldn't it be romantic if we pulled over and fooled around again like when we were young?", he asks.
Well, she's a middle aged woman who doesn't get much action these days so she quickly agrees. They pull and over and park and scamper out of the car across the field.

The husband grabs his wife and throws her against the fence and begins making love to her. Within moments, she is writhing, moaning, squirming with her eyes rolling back in her head. The husband is pretty impressed with himself.

Afterwards, as he's getting dressed and zipping up, he looks over at his wife and says, "Wow, honey, you never made love like that 20 years ago!"

His wife looks at him and replies, "Asshole, 20 years ago the fence wasn't electrified."
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: bozangles on January 16, 2012, 06:54 pm
"Asshole, 20 years ago the fence wasn't electrified."

like  ;D
Title: Re: 5 Things You Should Not Do During A Traffic Stop
Post by: JamesDeansSkull on January 16, 2012, 11:19 pm
"Asshole, 20 years ago the fence wasn't electrified."

like  ;D

..... So, do the police. Every time I tell it the cop starts cracking up, then doesn't have the heart to give me the ticket.        America ... FUCK YEAH!!