Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: davidkelly on January 22, 2013, 09:58 pm
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I am a single dad, I have a 3 year old son, he lives with me and my girlfriend (not his mom). I used to split custody with his mom, until she was arrested for child abuse 2 years ago (she was beating him, leaving welts on his back with a belt, when he was only 1 year old) and lost custody. She got convicted of 3rd degree child abuse. She's a crazy, abusive, junkie bitch and can't take care of herself, let alone a child. She can have 2 visits a week with him, supervised by a social worker, but she blows most of them off, only seeing him about once a month, sometimes not for a couple months.
Anyway I was talking to a coworker today about my kids junkie mom, and he said something along the line of, "any one who has kids and does drugs is a bad parent". I disagree with that, while there are plenty of people who are bad parents on drugs and drug addiction can make you a bad parent when you are neglecting or abusing you're kids because of the drug, or just getting wasted all the time instead of spending some time with you're kids. (like my dad, he put a roof over my head and food on the table and never abused me but he didn't put any effort into being a parent, all he would do was drink, never spend time with me or took me anywhere, never showed much interest in me)
But I think you can use drugs responsibly and still be a good parent.
I uses drugs and I consider myself a good responsible parent, I take care of my son and spend time with him. As long as you are not an addict, don't use in front of you're kids, and as long as you're drug use is not effecting you're ability to care for you're child's needs, spend time with them and be there for them, I think you can be a good parent and use drugs. As long as you don't let the drugs become the priority over you're child and you're passing out\getting wasted and not watching you're kids.
Anyway, what do you guys think? Anyone here have kids and use drugs? Do you think it effect you're abilities as a parent in a negative way?
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I don't think using drugs makes you a bad parent. In fact, I think marijuana makes some people BETTER parents. It's possible to be a responsible parent and a responsible drug user alllll at the same time :)
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Using drugs won't make you a bad parent.
But being a bad parent may make you use drugs.
;D
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Don't have kids but if I had i would never let them see me using drugs and I do use hard drugs recreationally - injecting heroin, injecting cocaine, injecting meth. But I heard somewhere that if you're addicted or use lets say opiates your kid might be more prone to opiate addiction.
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I've been having a similar debate with myself recently.
I agree with the OP that it's possible to use drugs and be a good parent.
However, another thing to think about is the inherently risky situation we are putting kids in by simply choosing to have drugs,
unfortunately it is criminal activity in many cases in our current world,
morally it may not be our fault that drug use has been criminalized,
but is it not ethically our duty to keep our kids safe from the possibility of having their parent incarcerated for drug use?
I don't think there's an easy answer, just trying to add to the discussion -
I know I sure as hell will have to continue a certain level of drug use to cope with parenthood,
just as with all aspects of life with which drugs help cope
8)
just my 2 bitcents
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I do feel that a parent can be a responsible drug user.
A main counter to this, which I do feel is very relevant, is the question of whether or not you can be there for your kids in an emergency.
Example: Your kid: chokes on something/gets cut/breaks a bone/has an allergic reaction/etc. If you're high on a certain drug, can you dependably respond to the situation and make prudent decisions? Or, is there a sober trusted person who can respond to the situation in a timely manner? If not, you may want to reconsider your use.
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I agree with you^^ i dont consider it responsible parenting if you're impaired around your young kid.
Speaking of drugs and parenting... Ever watch Yo Gabba Gabba?
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I agree with you^^ i dont consider it responsible parenting if you're impaired around your young kid.
Speaking of drugs and parenting... Ever watch Yo Gabba Gabba?
Holy crap, my daughter loves that show! Before I had kids, I'd seen this one show at my brother's house (he has three).. I believe it was called The Wiggles or something like that? Tell me those dudes aren't tweakers!!
Anyway, I am a stepparent of a little girl that's almost 5 years old. I use kratom weekly for the anti-anxiety benefits as well as just making the monotony of my job go by a bit easier. I drink alcohol probably a few times a week (a couple beers, not anything hard) and in the last year I've done a gram of MXE every couple months or so. I've delved into meth which used to be my DOC but I'm using it way way more responsibly than I was when I was young, single, and reckless. I don't use any drugs around my daughter, only recreationally on my days off or when I want an energy boost to get things done. I think meth has a huge negative stigma around it and while the stereotype of the typical tweaker can be quite true, I believe it can be used responsibly as well. I don't stay up for days at a time like I used to, I eat properly and maintain good hygiene and no one is the wiser. My wife doesn't have a clue that I do these things which I admit is dishonest but I don't sacrifice anything else to get the funds to use drugs and I certainly don't endanger anyone else while using. If you asked anyone I know, they'd consider me a model parent and husband.. I cook, clean, work a steady job, and am active in the community. In contrast, her biological father has been arrested countless times, has multiple DUIs (some including traffic accidents), and is basically a mess. He's started to straighten his life up in the last few months but he is a perfect example of someone who lets substance abuse take over their lives. I can say that because I've been there in the past, I was crazy reckless in my late teens and early twenties and I'm lucky to be alive. In summation, I believe that you can use drugs responsibly and be a good parent but at the same time, don't delude yourself. It's very easy to come up with excuses but I believe you still know deep down if you're being a responsible parent.
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I agree with you^^ i dont consider it responsible parenting if you're impaired around your young kid.
Speaking of drugs and parenting... Ever watch Yo Gabba Gabba?
Holy crap, my daughter loves that show! Before I had kids, I'd seen this one show at my brother's house (he has three).. I believe it was called The Wiggles or something like that? Tell me those dudes aren't tweakers!!
Anyway, I am a stepparent of a little girl that's almost 5 years old. I use kratom weekly for the anti-anxiety benefits as well as just making the monotony of my job go by a bit easier. I drink alcohol probably a few times a week (a couple beers, not anything hard) and in the last year I've done a gram of MXE every couple months or so. I've delved into meth which used to be my DOC but I'm using it way way more responsibly than I was when I was young, single, and reckless. I don't use any drugs around my daughter, only recreationally on my days off or when I want an energy boost to get things done. I think meth has a huge negative stigma around it and while the stereotype of the typical tweaker can be quite true, I believe it can be used responsibly as well. I don't stay up for days at a time like I used to, I eat properly and maintain good hygiene and no one is the wiser. My wife doesn't have a clue that I do these things which I admit is dishonest but I don't sacrifice anything else to get the funds to use drugs and I certainly don't endanger anyone else while using. If you asked anyone I know, they'd consider me a model parent and husband.. I cook, clean, work a steady job, and am active in the community. In contrast, her biological father has been arrested countless times, has multiple DUIs (some including traffic accidents), and is basically a mess. He's started to straighten his life up in the last few months but he is a perfect example of someone who lets substance abuse take over their lives. I can say that because I've been there in the past, I was crazy reckless in my late teens and early twenties and I'm lucky to be alive. In summation, I believe that you can use drugs responsibly and be a good parent but at the same time, don't delude yourself. It's very easy to come up with excuses but I believe you still know deep down if you're being a responsible parent.
To add to what I said, I only get meth off of Silk Road anymore so that alone has been such a convenience. No running around with crazy tweakers or the shady people in that scene. If I could not get it on SR, I simply would not use it. I've only used a couple grams in the last several months but again, I would not be using it at all if the site was to go down. SR has let me dabble in a few things that I haven't used in years since my crazy days but I would not go out and source anything on the street anymore. I don't want to be a part of that lifestyle or let anyone locally know I use.
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I agree with you^^ i dont consider it responsible parenting if you're impaired around your young kid.
Speaking of drugs and parenting... Ever watch Yo Gabba Gabba?
Best kids show ever, IMO of course.
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We may have kids, they just haven't shown up on the doorstep yet with a crumpled love-letter and dog-eared picture of younger looking us and their younger looking mother...
Which is another sound reason to decamp from Facebook if you're over forty.
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WWW- you sound like a responsible parent to me :) Parents need an outlet every so often and if you're only indulging once every few months then you're using less frequently than many of my friends (who happen to be business professionals) whom I consider to be responsible parents.
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I have my first child due in a little over four weeks. As I have mentioned in some other friends, I have been on somewhat of a personal binge - for me at least. This is due to my trying to experience everything I can one last time before having to become a responsible parent.
That being said, I certainly think people can be both responsible drug users and parents. When my child is very little my wife and I have talked about how we could still trip and roll (as long as we have breast milk in reserve) since we are of sound mind enough to deal with situations if they were to happen on those substances.
As our child grows older this obviously becomes a bit harder. I would not want a young impressionable kid to witness his or her dad on K. That would be pretty freaky. So as the child starts growing older I would like to hide those situations as much as possible. But I would also like to be able to have honest conversations about drugs and help them understand them in a way different than the schools teach.
I do agree that going to jail and not taking care of them would be a travesty. But as long as I am using the drugs responsibly there is almost no chance of that happening after acqusition. And this is he reason I have been buying up everything on SR like a fiend these past few months - to build the most complete, immaculate, perfect collection of drugs ever so I dont have to worry about that part anymore.
Anyway, these next few months should be a real fuckin trip!
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I've got a 3 year old son and I personally think I'm a good dad but my gf makes me feel like I'm just a horrible person when I do drugs... Which isn't that often and really only do MDMA. My kid did come out of his room once in the middle of the night andiI was rolling pretty hard and I didn't want to move off the couch so he did see me we played with his toys a lil bit but I couldn't help it. Then she made me just feellike iI was scum and it fucjed with me cuz I just love everybody when I roll. I love mdma . shitty feeling
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I've got a 3 year old son and I personally think I'm a good dad but my gf makes me feel like I'm just a horrible person when I do drugs... Which isn't that often and really only do MDMA. My kid did come out of his room once in the middle of the night andiI was rolling pretty hard and I didn't want to move off the couch so he did see me we played with his toys a lil bit but I couldn't help it. Then she made me just feellike iI was scum and it fucjed with me cuz I just love everybody when I roll. I love mdma . shitty feeling
Your gf sounds naive. Can you talk to her about MDMA and all it's benefits? Show her the NY times article from a few weeks ago. When it comes to MDMA, knowledge is likely your best defense because its actually studied and believed to be pretty safe. She shouldn't be making you feel like shit for being extra loving and playing with toys w/ your child. If you were tripping balls that would different.
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I agree with you^^ i dont consider it responsible parenting if you're impaired around your young kid.
Speaking of drugs and parenting... Ever watch Yo Gabba Gabba?
Best kids show ever, IMO of course.
It is! I love the music videos... I wish they would make a compilation DVD of just those for the adults :) The one with the daisy on her head talks so sweetly... I imagine that's what PrincessHigh's voice sounds like.
Everytime watch it I think these people are on acid for sure. I also think DJ Lance goes to Burning Man.
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WWW- you sound like a responsible parent to me :) Parents need an outlet every so often and if you're only indulging once every few months then you're using less frequently than many of my friends (who happen to be business professionals) whom I consider to be responsible parents.
Thanks :D I completely agree, there is a big difference between people who let it run their lives and people who indulge on occasion in a responsible manner.
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I've got a 3 year old son and I personally think I'm a good dad but my gf makes me feel like I'm just a horrible person when I do drugs... Which isn't that often and really only do MDMA. My kid did come out of his room once in the middle of the night andiI was rolling pretty hard and I didn't want to move off the couch so he did see me we played with his toys a lil bit but I couldn't help it. Then she made me just feellike iI was scum and it fucjed with me cuz I just love everybody when I roll. I love mdma . shitty feeling
Your gf sounds naive. Can you talk to her about MDMA and all it's benefits? Show her the NY times article from a few weeks ago. When it comes to MDMA, knowledge is likely your best defense because its actually studied and believed to be pretty safe. She shouldn't be making you feel like shit for being extra loving and playing with toys w/ your child. If you were tripping balls that would different.
I mean I was rolling hard but was still able to function. Didn't anticipate him waking up in the middle of the night. But my gf hates all drugs no matter what they are. Has something to do with her brother dealing and getting in trouble when she was a kid. When it comes to drugs she don't wanna hear it.
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3 wonderful kids. All girls