Today's Missed Business Opportunity at the Grand Wizard's Lair.

Message 1:

Greetings, What is your transit time to Texas? What is your preferred method of communication?

Thank you for your time. REDACTED

The Grand Wizard replies that he is fine with communicating via e-mail but that he only takes bitcoins for transactions.

Message 2:

I require Zolpidem 10MG and Alpraz.

I would prefer it delivered by Friday.

Also I would like samples of your quality product that I will pitch $100 to test in my market - in other words samples of your most profitable product so that we can develop a beneficial situation.

In addition to this I work with the largest logistics company in the world, in the business development center and can create discounts for all shipping requirements.

Please let me know if this arrangement would be possible.

Thank you for your time. REDACTED

The Grand Wizard isn't quite sure how to reply to that one. We might start by noting that Nigerian keyboards finally come with a lowercase function and go from there. But any suggestions from our peanut gallery would be most welcome.

Seriously: does anybody ever fall for shit like this?


Comments


[13 Points] honestlyimeanreally:

Why don't you troll these people ala 419eater?

Bait them on, "oh I would absolutely be interested in such a mutually beneficial shipping arrangement..."

Maybe you don't have the free time like I do.

Oh god I'm so alone.


[4 Points] Pelican_Vendor:

I like to just respond to those message with just picture with no text.


[6 Points] Anti-Hero_AU:

we've missed you! <3


[6 Points] R4ID:

Probably a funny idea for a thread. "vendors share your most hilarious PM's" with the names redacted :)


[2 Points] None:

Dude you need to stop by more often. We always enjoyed your musings. Don't be a stranger.

Respond that you have your own GWL fleet of planes. With Turbans painted on the side! Your shipping is already free...


[2 Points] Trappy_Pandora:

Did you ever get the PM about a user asking to buy up thousands of $0 listings in order to raise your rankings? One tried that on my weed vendor. Instant ban.

He had 6000 buys on his account... And 0 bitcoins spent.


[1 Points] None:

lol! everybody knows Nigerian keyboards are made in China!


[1 Points] None:

I have a Nigerian keyboard framed.....it has the autographs of the royal family on it.....Oh its legit.....It has a certificate of authenticity...Bahahahaahaha!!!!!!!


[1 Points] pm_me_cool_plants:

Dont let them get you dad. I got your back.


[1 Points] Vendor_BBMC:

I would have sent him $100-worth of my finest, and asked him to order it if retrospectively if it's worth $100.

Well, maybe not this numpty. But I used to FE for one potential customer a week, and tell them "if you don't pay for it, nothing bad will happen. but it would make me feel sad".

Everyone pays. Darknet customers are generally pretty decent.

Your potential customer should stick with his post office job, and leave the drug dealing to people with $100 to spare. If he knew anythinmg about drugs, he would know that GrandWizzingford-on-Thames isn't some rookie vendor, desperate for business.


[1 Points] None:

This is funny, in an odd way...because just within the last 24 hours I was rattling around in my brain about where Alp comes from (majorly in the world). And I remember hearing word that Africa makes a shit ton of it, they ussually have a little bit more per dose than American standards. I'm not talking AK dosage though. Just...prolly poor process of making them (pharma ones that is). And then again, I have no clue how true it is that African pharma Alp pills are heavy. Just something I heard.

If only alp was easy to measure without liquid volumetrics...perhaps there's a way to lay it into a powder and then much easily cap it.....I'm sure getting a bag of loose alp is a lot easier than bringing in a huge bag of pressed alp.....

How easy is it to get lorazepam for that matter? It actually helps me out quite a good bit. It's like, what xanax does for a truly needy xanax user (makes them normal) to me. By all means, I'm not trying to being a 'bartard' but for the time being...ativan has proven to help stabilize me and not sedate me out of all the benzos I've tried. Even valium is a little too strong for me to take during the day. Ativan works great for me. Just thought I'd ask here instead of making a whole thread on it. Much help is appreciated. And don't get me wrong...xanis are fun time to time ;}


[0 Points] Lucyintehsky:

Damnit i sent the same dude samples :S he seemed real to me