[Problem] Lying about LSD Blotter

Hey community, this is a very serious question and I ask you to take this seriously.

My wife and kids know nothing about drugs in general, let alone my drug usage. They don't know what METH, LSD or Ecstasy is, looks like, and what it does.

I haven't done any acid for 30+ years now and want to do it again now, but my family must not know about this.

So an LSD shipment is expecting me, but I will probably be at work when it does arrive. Now here's the problem:

My wife will probably pick it up. I don't know what I could possibly tell her, what it might be. I need a proper excuse, what I could lie to her, so she thinks it's something legit and not illegal.

I thought about telling her it's only postage stamps but that is ridiculous. She wouldn't believe it. What COULD I tell her, so that she doesn't question it at all?

BTW: I can't change the address and she will most likely pick it up. There's nothing I can change about that. If she finds out, I'm afraid she would divorce me, so please give me SERIOUS advice... or else don't bother to answer at all.

I have no chance to pick it up personally too, so a legit excuse is What I NEED.


Comments


[13 Points] MDJdizzel:

You are looking into a gift for her...so please leave all mail in your name unopened...then just figure out something to buy


[9 Points] BawlzTrippington:

That sucks that you have to hide a harmless activity from the person you will spend the rest of your life with :/


[7 Points] pussyole684:

sounds like something you should have thought of before ordering illegal substances to your mailbox?


[4 Points] Psychaddicted:

LSD is pretty easy to hide, when I got my last order it took me a few minutes to find the tabs, and I knew what I was looking for, so even if she opens it she probably won't find it.


[7 Points] datdropdoe:

Tell her you're expecting LSD in the mail.


[5 Points] DOZENS_OF_BUTTS:

Another thing you've gotta remember is that a lot of drug packages (at least in my order history) look like junk mail. You've also got to figure out a way for your wife to not throw it away in case it does look like junk mail.


[3 Points] EgoEchoes:

If she is not opening it then tell her it's a personal letter. If she is, then say it's art.


[2 Points] libcrypto:

Tell her it's fertilizer for some special miniature plant you plan to start growing. Then plant some garden herbs.


[2 Points] None:

It depends on which vendor you've ordered from, because some of them have insane stealth that takes people who know what they're looking for a while to find.


[2 Points] None:

"what was that $400 for?" "its a surprise" "I hope that surprise isnt aids" "herpes" :p "You already gave me herpes hehe"


[1 Points] Atador:

Which vendor did you order from? What was the print? Without this info its just guessing...


[1 Points] SgtFaecesProcessor:

Order from Blue Viking. Provided she doesn't throw it away thinking it's junk mail she shouldn't be any the wiser. And assuming you're saying she might open your mail. All you have to do now is put it somewhere she wouldn't look. In your wallet perhaps?


[1 Points] dedsy:

Tell her your buddy sent you a sample of a new prototype of spider deterrent that he wants your advice on before he invests. You simply place a small paper square in the upper corner of each room and spiders magically stay away. You thought it was weird but told your buddy you'd give it a try. Wife probably hates spiders and won't think much of your experiment.


[1 Points] joustingthesky:

Like everyone has said, LSD is very inconspicuous. Unless she physically opens your mail and goes through, she won't know (even if she opens it, she might not know).


[1 Points] futuredracula:

If you can't find time to get a package behind your wife's back how exactly did you think you were gonna trip face without her knowledge?


[1 Points] gerundive:

my family must not know about this

If it is so important that your family don't find out about your drug taking, then this may be something you will have to deal with while tripping.

Keeping your meth and ectasy use a secret is one thing. But if you want to keep your LSD trip secret, then it may be best to keep the dose reasonably small, unless you intend to use it to preciptate a change in your relationship with your wife.


[1 Points] PM__ME_YOUR_SOCKS:

I wish I had a dad like you to trip with lol just say it's a Ph tab to test the acidity of whatever liquid (credit to a vendor with GREAT stealth)


[0 Points] R4ID:

i would highly HIGHLY recommend blue viking... his stealth will make ur wife think u just signed up for something.....im serious... i cant tell u specifics but buy ur LSD from that man...