[Humor] With so many sad stories and so much F.U.D always prevalent, thought I'd share a funny/happy story

So on Monday my pack from RealSupremeSmoke arrived, which meant I had 2g of his "best" heroin to play with, and I was pretty pumped. I used to be hooked on H, so I only use it for a couple weeks at a time, and only because I don't know anyone who sells it IRL I have found it a lot easier to abstain from use when you take away the possibility of impulsively walking down the street.

Anyway, my excitement was severely tempered fairly quickly. I did a fairly large line of dope, and proceeded to undertake the process of dividing it up into several pieces of foil (J've found this helps me keep track of how much I have done). Before I knew it I was nodding, and I fell asleep for a few moments. I jerked awake, and in doing so proceeded to spill 3/4 of the dope onto the bathroom floor.

Some if it had gone in the toilet, and trying to scrape it up off the floor gave me this disgusting mixture of heroin, pubic hair, and dust. Back when I was hooked I would have blasted that stuff without a second thought, but I'm trying something new called "dignity." I'm sure there are people here who have been in this situation. I was sad, frustrated, and above all I was fucking pissed at myself. Believe it or not, the last time I bought from RSS I bought 3 grams of his regular and had the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING HAPPEN WHILE I WAS FUCKED UP.

So fast forward to today. Thanks to my idiocy and the fact I shared with a couple friends, I'm down to around .75g. The end of my funtimes is fast approaching. I'm rearranging some things in my bathroom making room for all my dope supplies. There is a box in the closet that is filled with decks of cards and old battery-powered handhelds from when I was a kid. I noticed there was some heroin residue in there (so much for dignity) despite never knowingly stored dope in there. So I decide to look through to see if there's enough residue to make a bump. I open the box, and immediately notice that there is a plastic bag in the battery slot of one of the handhelds, which is something I used to do YEARS ago. I open the battery case, pull out the baggie...AND IT'S FUCKING DOPE. I throw some tinfoil on my scale, zero it, then dump the bag onto the tinfoil. IT'S OVER 3/4 OF A FUCKING GRAM. I look at the caked-up bag and realize I just found close to a full gram of H. And from the look and the strength, it's RSS's dope. I've thought the whole thing over, and I think that the last time I got super fucked up I decided to hide a gram or so of dope in one of my old hiding spots. It makes perfect sense, because the first time I spilled my dope I had had around 2.5g, and when it was all said and done I had like 0.9g left. So basically, I hid my dope so well that I kept it secret even from myself! I feel even dumber than I did before, but at this point I'm too happy to care. It feels like every other thread on here is someone being scammed or worrying about LE, so I wanted to give everyone a chance to laugh at my idiocy.


Comments


[18 Points] off_to_belize:

Some if it had gone in the toilet, and trying to scrape it up off the floor gave me this disgusting mixture of heroin, pubic hair, and dust. Back when I was hooked I would have blasted that stuff without a second thought, but I'm trying something new called "dignity."

Lol'd hard


[7 Points] rappercake:

One time I found a bar of xanax on the ground by a wheel on the bottom of my bedsprings.

Probably in the top five greatest days of my life.


[7 Points] sdfhgdhjbdafcadv:

Great story. I wish my brain would let me stash dope and forget about it but I have too addictive a personality to let that happen. Hell, I've never even lost my cigarettes.

But seriously, is RSS's best worth the extra coin over his regular? I've heard conflicting reports.


[3 Points] sillysally11:

Man, I was feeling your pain when you wrote that you dropped it, I have done that with coke and other drugs, never H as I am super careful(not to say it still can't happen).

I one time spilled a two gram spoonful of coke that I was cooking into crack, and only managed to salvage maybe a 30 piece.

I did lose some dope before because I'd be sitting on my bed, with a book in front of me with a piece of glass on top of that with my dope on top. I'd sniff a line, get nodding, and end up falling forward and having my forehead hit the glass with the dope on it, and so in doing so getting dope all over my sweaty forehead. I wake up, realize what's happening and thing "fuck!" and scrape off as much as I can, nod back out......wake up and AGAIN my head is in the dope! Spilling it everywhere, it was a mess.

I have also done that many many times with weed, just get tired towards then end of the night and have my head fall onto my book with cut on weed on it. Wake up with weed all over my face lol It's funny but annoying when you do it literally 4-5 times in a row before moving the book.

Happy to read you found dope, that has never happened to me. I'm so fiendish with my dope that I can't imagine forgetting any, I never have that much to begin with.


[2 Points] None:

Lol, wow, awesome. My idiocy NEVER leads to surprise dope, God damn..


[1 Points] CheekyDive:

I once had a really nice 7's of coke and stashed some away. Fast forward six months and I stumbled upon the nicest suprise ever. That 2g stash was even better second time around, I swear


[1 Points] Theeconomist1:

When I'm bored I often play "well I sink so low IF..." And proceed to make up scenarios of increasingly disgusting ways drugs can be lost, dropped, or otherwise obtain additional impurities not related to the original cut. I'm surprisingly honest with myself as it's just a game with me (although I played it with another redditor before). It's amazing the things you'd do for your DoC that you would have never, ever considered to do on any planet or under any duress. That's pretty much out the window these days. Lol. I just hope they remain hypotethicals and nothing more. The last shred of dignity I have is that I'm very careful with my DoC and have not encountered the various vile situations I could find myself in. But I already now what would happen in most any situation.


[1 Points] Theeconomist1:

On the topic of hiding so well - a friend of mine had a problem drinking and driving. He was never caught but knew his luck would run out. He's drunk and high out of him mind and he hides the keys and the spare keys. Next day,Sure enough, he's sober and he can't find his keys. Lost for a week. No car. He tore apart everything. Trying to find it. Then we proceed to get righteous with some Johnnie Walker and break out the bud of course. (No in my day there was no strain as it applies to the variant of the weed. Weed was weed was weed). This prob dates me to a degree. So he's hammered as all shit and not 1 minute later he finds his fucking keys. So he figured fate had him drive and drive he did. He did get a nice 1 month sex relationship out of it as he met a chick while he was out cruising.

Ah memories. I try to hide my extra oxy and Vicodin but it never works. Ever.


[1 Points] None:

lol <3


[1 Points] DICK_WRENCH:

What's dignity and what kind of high does it give you?


[1 Points] pharmaphilreview:

first suggestion is clean your bathroom once in a while to avoid pubes in your dope if it happens again, like thats just unnecessary, I shave all my pubes with an electric razor standing over the toilet, and after the toilet and adjacent floor looks like that of a local barber shop, but 10 mins later they are pube free thanks to brooms and vaccuum i suggest you learn how to use them. Plus that type of shit grosses chicks out, always make sure you have clean toilet