Buy a monkey - I really just want to buy a monkey on the internet please tell me that's not going to be a problem.

Ive seen old ads selling mail order monkeys and I'm sure one could be shipped freight in a large enough container humanely. USPS says on their website they will ship alligators up to 20 inches, all kinds of reptiles, birds up to 25 lbs, bees, scorpions, but not mammals. Is it possible to get a small monkey delivered to my door? Thanks


Comments


[25 Points] ncjose:

LOL


[19 Points] DEFiniteCON:

It is very inhumane to keep a jerk off monkey as a slave sir. Not cool. These are wild animals, not fuck boys. Try to be a decent human and only let them jerk you off in their natural habitats.


[7 Points] Kimsatyyello:

Guess what happens, the monkey gets loose and you loose it, especially because if you get a chimp they are 7x stronger than a boxer (man boxer) and about 300+ pounds. You can't handle a monkey like you think you can. It's exotic. Honestly go through the process legally, don't be an asshole. Black market pets is animal cruelty and fucked up IMHO. Owning exotic pets is usually fucked for the animal. Get a cat that's cool and will climb on you, you don't need a poop slinging monkey.


[8 Points] mag00ber:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)

I mean just sayin


[8 Points] Victoriavena:

Eh, not big on the monkey thing, anyone want to tell me if I can get a red panda.


[7 Points] None:

I could not even imagine USPS workers' reaction to a shipment of a live chimp from an unknown sender


[5 Points] why_u_molest_sheep:

I always wanted one too but man...that'd be one out of control pet.


[5 Points] WG47:

In this thread: people who don't know the difference between monkeys and apes.


[2 Points] LongLiveThe_King:

bees

Wut?


[2 Points] arhombus:

MMMMMmmmmmmonkey


[2 Points] why_u_molest_sheep:

Think dude's talking about one of them little 'Hangover'-movie type monkeys


[1 Points] blueskykin:

No matter if you find a way to ship it, USPS is not going to deliver a wild animal to your residence if it is illegal to have a monkey in your area. It's illegal in most cities to have a pet chimp. Might wanna check it out.


[1 Points] None:

Don't buy a monkey. It you do, don't cry if it tears your face off.


[1 Points] pinkprincess1:

So funny. Almost as funny as that tiger post a few weeks ago. Good luck, make sure you tell us how the stealth is and remember...never FE and always PGP! :)


[-3 Points] joey_dh:

really? we ditched /r/silkroad in favour of threads like this?