Sometimes I'm so barred out, I'll eat a Chipotle burrito while delivering packages. This has caused postal delays on multiple occasions.
If you put a "Mr." or a Ms." in your first name, I fucking hate you and will remove it.
I've sold drugs to lawyers and AIDS researchers. I'll get bored and Google people sometimes.
I can't use candy as a decoy, because I'll just eat it before I use it.
I found 300 Ambien in a storage unit and sold them once.
Sometimes I buy Adderall from 16 year olds or their parents.
I once shipped some mdma in a bag of cheetos that I eat... I heat sealed it shut