[Note: All ratings on based on a 7 point scale, where 1= extremely dissatisfied, 7= extremely satisfied and 4=the middle]
Drug: 1 gram cocaine, A+All that shit you hear about grade inflation is true. Back in the day, an A+ was the best grade you could get. But this cat also sells an AA++, so I guess this A+ is no longer good enough. Fucking helicopter parents.
Shipped From/To: USA! USA! USA! Fuck you, France.
Communication: [7/7] I got lost in this fucking corn maze, so I cranked up my RedBrowser app on my iPhone and that sly motherfucker had me out in less than 25 minutes.
Stealth: [6/7] Very good. I was nervous because my wife got to the mail first and asked me who sent me a decorative gourd. I told her it was part of my initiation into the Freemasons and that I couldn't answer any further questions. I docked him a point because I had to run to Safeway and replace his decorative gourd with one from the store that cost me $1.99 (out of pocket).Yes mylar, vac and shit.
Price: $120/gram: [4/7] I no longer make judgments about pricing. I just pay up and then split the cost among the folks I'm sharing it with. If it's only for me, I take the money out of my daughter's college fund.
Shipping time: [6/7] Unable to control my excitement, I met the mailman at the box and snatched the box with gourd out of his hands, bellowing "yoink!". He observed that I've been getting "a large number of priority mail packages lately". I replied "Three is the magic number, I like my packages to come in three days" while running up the stairs. No, it wasn't a box, it was a "regular mailer," and yes, it came in three days!
Weight: [7/7] Dunno. Everyone here says that if you buy a scale online a giant buzzer sounds in the local DEA office, and John Ashcroft comes out of retirement to supervise a no-knock raid. So lacking one of those (fairly accurate) $25 scales, I just look at the bag and say - aloud to my cats - "Yep, she looks like a gram to me!"
Quality: [5/7] Oddly powdery, no noticeable smell. Flakes up nice enough. Cleanish on the uptake, slight burn. Delayed numbing (more on that). Very slight euphoria, odd buzz (more on that) minimal jitters or tweaks. Mildish come down. Some kind of cuts, though nothing obvious. This being said, I count this among the strangest coke I've ever done. Not much was happening until I noticed (about 20 minutes later) that my friend was explaining the connection between the evolution of Intel chipsets and the story arcs of the Simpson's. Then I realized, this is creeper shit (!) I've never had coke that had such a prolonged come up, eventually leading to lots and lots of chatter. Very odd, but in a nice sort of way. Now I know what they mean when they say "social coke!" All told, pleasant enough, with a longish buzz that never gets particularly euphoric.
Overall: [5/7] I would probably buy again, especially if I was entertaining my average friends at a party. But if there was a girl I was trying to impress there, I'd leave a separate pile of the AA++ stuff in my room, and tell her to make sure that nobody noticed when she heads back to try "the real cocaine"
Your review makes me want to try coke.