HPPD and problems with my head, please help.

I'm really worried because of the symptoms I've been having when I am sober. I sincerely ask for your advice because I am very desperate for help and worried if I would stay like this forever. I want to feel like a normal person and I can't find anyone in real life to talk about this, and seeing an psychiatrist is not an option as I am financially troubled and I don't want to take anymore drugs.

For past few years, I abused weed, mdma, and acid irresponsibly. There was a point I've been dropping mdma weekly for a few months, and I stayed high on weed all the time all these years.

Back in Janurary I quit all drugs. However, I feel that I am buzzed on weed all the time even though there is no drug in my body and see mild hallucinations, like breathing walls, moving objects (like grass moving when there's no wind blowing), visual snow, and my head and vision feel strange like I am in a dream, my short term memory has been shot. It is also very hard to sleep at night because of all the static vision and feeling that I am buzzed. I would not be concerned when these things happen when I'm fucked up on drugs, but I've been clean for months and my symptoms seem to be staying the same or getting worse. I stayed away from all drugs (even caffeine and alcohol) in hopes of speeding up my recovery.

How much time is needed before I can feel normal again after abusing psychedelic drugs? Will I ever feel normal? Does the HPPD go away and memory become better? Will I ever get out of this dreamy state and vision issues?

I am very ashamed about my irresponsibility and regret what I have done. If you have recovered from symptoms like these or have any advice, please share. You guys are the only source of help that I can find. Thank you.


Comments


[3 Points] cashadava:

Depending on your usage of LSD you may, just as I do, have P.V.S. Persistent visual stimulation. Mine has not gone away (going on 5 years of seeing shit like I'm tripping, but havent taken any drugs for at least 3 years). However, they do eventually "calm down" in a sense. It used to be that I could not, for any reason, drive at night because it was so bad. Now, I don't have that issue, but if I look at the sky for a few seconds my haluuhations kick in at full speed. l can say it gets in the way quite often, but l find that I have grown to love my hallucinations.

l must also note that I spent close to a year and a half eating LSD every couple days (and taking a week break every couple weeks). I loved and hated this time of my life.


[1 Points] DarkKnight_1111:

It will go away man. I did the same thing with MDMA when i was a teenager to the point that you are describing exactly. It will take you about 2 to 3 months to FULLY come back to reality after years of hard MDMA use. I was selling at the time and was on a constant roll for about 2 years straight. It will go away though, I promise you this.

EDIT: I see that you stopped in January, so its been 4 months, oh damn, that is kind of crazy man, it should have gone away by now, I dont want to alarm you anymore then you already are. You might want to ask a doctor if there is anything he can do to help you out with this...


[1 Points] cundunquelo:

er, i think (lamely) that "only you know what is best for you", but i would just try not to worry about it so much.

yeah, my ceiling swirled for about a decade there, and i can "make" it swirl by looking hard today. but i feel it way less, and i have tapered from a wild youth to boring middle aged man who takes mushrooms twice a year now.

i tried not smoking dope for a long time, a year here and there. it did not agree with me. i am a crazy asshole, i do not need "normal" energy levels.

if you are anything like me, 90% (well 100%, but 90% of your own doing) of what you are experiencing is self inflicted. you are "stressed out", which can exacerbate ceiling swirl. i found a better job, moved to a place where ready access to weed gave less excuse to drink. if you like the idea of sober, stay sober. but do something else as well.


[1 Points] LostSomewhereInSpace:

When I was heavily abusing psychedelics (1-3 grams of methylone a week and tripping up to multiple times a week on 2c-e stupid I know)I would occasionally see things out of the corner of my eye that weren't there and I definitely always had mild visuals, especially in the dark when I was sober. Since calming down on my psych usage I hardly notice any of these things if ever. Probably took a 6 months-1 year to settle down completely if I had to guess.


[1 Points] None:

go get a carbon monoxide detector before you do any of the other stuff. someone over chere lived next to garage and redid garage and put in room. Symptoms set in including death. Go do it. First please.