Holland-Kitchen are back on Agora. Only took them 6 months to climb out of their barrel of Not-Ket.

If only they'd used the wads of cash they fucked off with as steps. They coulda been here three months sooner convincing you their batshit schemes and prices weren't actually conceived by throwing Scrabble into the sea and reading what washed up.

Exhibit A: 45g of MDMA delivered for $490. Tight.

Exhibit B: 500g of Uncut Colombian for $22k. Right on, brother. And I quote: 'Nothing is wrong with it. Its guaranteed uncut but...its stolen. Someone asked us to sell it for them online because they are afraid to track attention if sold local.' Oh, so that's why it's cheaper than all the legitimate cola. CASE CLOSED

Exhibit C: This is my favorite bit. There's plenty of other 'what the fucking fuck' moments you can share with these merry chaps on the store, but allow me to cherrypick this solid nugget of awesome. I'd break it down for you, but given the lads are so eloquent in their own way, I'll pass the mic to them. Take it away, fellas.

'0.5 Bitcoin guaranteed for free - No action required. 495.30 USD This is not a Joke and for sure not a scam since we wont ruin our feedback and risk a closing of our account because of 4BTC.

Its as easy as it sounds: You buy this Listing and provide a BTC address.

Within 4-24h you will receive 2.5 BTC on that address (-3% Helix).

We wont answer any questions how this works and why.

You give 2 and get 2,5 - not more not less.

You can buy this Listing again right after you received your 2,5 BTC.

The timer counts from the moment your order status changes.

You could run this every day and have daily one or even two BTC for free. There is absolutely nothing else compareable to this offer. You wont have to register and dont have to register or do stupid things.

You simply have to put some trust in us and enjoy your reward. The payout can also go over the Agora ordering system - its up to you.

There are no hidden traps that you could lose your coins. Your coins will return to you with 1 BTC as Profit. Brought to you by: Holland-Kitchen 5.00/5, 100~150 deals'

Free money? How is one to say no? I keep throwing my BTC at the screen and nothing happens. Then I remember it's imaginary money.

Have fun, stay safe, bed by ten folks. It's a jungle out there.

BONUS ROUND! Can you guess what their first feedback in six months says?


Comments


[2 Points] SWIMstains:

LOL the runescape money-doubling scam on Agora, top kek


[2 Points] honestlyimeanreally:

They're going to run the most basic ponzi scheme and cash out right before it topples over on itself

Time to be the 3rd investor and reap the rewards huehwuwhwieheuxkaPfnekw


[1 Points] None:

FE will update


[1 Points] DarnNastyMommaS:

Up vote this!!! Admins should be whatching for a Ponzi-Scheme. This would be another classic. So easy with how their describing it too.


[1 Points] pinkprincess1:

Ponzi schemes come to the darknet.


[0 Points] sergispro:

so did this actully work for anyone?