UPDATE: Frosty sent me an encrypted tracking number, and it looks like he did send an express pack on the monday following the saturday it was marked shipped. There has been no movement or updates on it for 6 days though, just stuck at the origin facility. Moving to Belize, everybody. Will be sending post cards.
If/when it arrives, I will write an updated review detailing the actual potency, weight, stealth, etc.
Sorry Frosty! Thanks for putting up with me!
BELOW IS MY ORIGINAL SATIRICAL REVIEW. DISREGARD IT.
Setting
Vendor
- FrostyTheSnowmanMarket
- DreamProduct
- 1g Good quality crystal methPrice
-$31.2 for listing + $28 for Express ShippingIncentives for Review?
- NoCountries
- Transcends borders, space, and time
Vendor
Service
- What was really groundbreaking about his service was his ability to mark the order as accepted and shipped within about an hour of my placing it on Saturday night. Really, shipping out a package while usps is closed for a day and half takes skill.Shipping
- Marked the order as shipped so quickly not even USPS saw the package coming. By that I mean they must have missed seeing the package altogether because it hasn't been seen in my mailbox, it's been nearly a week and it's an express package.Stealth
- Easily 10/10, package must quite literally be invisible.Security
- Again, 10/10 because I can't be arrested for a package that is never sent to me in the first place.Communication
- Not sure how to rate it on a scale of 1-10. Only took two days and three messages to respond to my inquiry regarding the location of my package.
His response mentioned that he was having network issues and couldn't access his messages. (He did get online both days and accept multiple FE orders, though.) He said he'd be happy to check on the location of my package, so I resent my encrypted address as requested within 30 minutes of his response and have not yet received a reply. Do remember that if a greendot is next to the vendor's name in your messages on dream, they are currently logged on and active. This was true for a whole 6 hours after I sent my response, then it changed to the orange clock notification saying "Seen Today".
Product
Weight
- [Did not meet, Exactly 1G short on my 1G order]Purity
- [0% no effects. Or 100% if the product was meant to be dark matter]Potency
- [Not potent at all, definitely not as a result of my tolerance.]Price Value
- [Did not meet, with the current price it would cost roughly infinity dollars for a zip]Aesthetic
- [Super cool aesthetic, invisible drugs look pretty cool.]
Comments:
Here's a picture for you guys: https://imgur.com/SK3UoHV
In all seriousness, I was a fool to FE with a vendor I hadn't tried before in the first place. I figured I could save $10 if I FE'd but lost $60 as a result. If you take a look at the vendor's feedback, there are a few other negative reviews that imply he is a selective scammer.
It's unfortunate that selective scamming isn't taken too seriously on the largest current DNM. You know what I miss about SR1 the most? It's leadership. Here is a small excerpt from a wired article about the infamous Variety Jones.
"he imagined (after smoking a joint, he admitted) how the Silk Road would appear to his grandson in the year 2450. "The Road spanned the solar system, from the cities of Earth, to the moons of Jupiter and beyond, the Road was more than just a hidden network of vendors and customers, products and shipments," Jones wrote. "The Road was a concept, an idea...The Road was freedom, a way of life.""
With that in mind, I will be reporting the vendor and crossposting this review to the other DNM subreddits & forums if Saturday afternoon passes without receiving the package.
(I admit, I was inspired by another satirical review I saw on this very subreddit, but for the love of Bailey Jay I can't seem to remember it)
If for some reason I do receive my order, then I will edit this and write a serious & detailed review along with an apology if it is warranted.
Stay safe out there, DNM family.
at first I was like "was is this idiot posting ANOTHER picture of NOTHING" then I read the review and felt bad for you.