Help me find a flaw in my illegal plans?

So I have a scheme idea, where I will buy bitcoin with coinbase linked to my bank account, Tumble said coins and use them to buy weed over DNMs, sell weed for cash, in person to friends, then put that cash back into my bank account, and repeat. How often can i do this before my bank says "Hey man, WTF, you're unemployed, and you keep on depositing a bunch of crumpled up 10 and 20$ bills, we know you're up to no good, were telling the cops".


Comments


[8 Points] Lost_my_fucking_mind:

Get bitcoin from straight cash/western union/deposit in someone elses accout. Using LBC. Don't use a personal bank account for jack


[3 Points] throwawaythatshi:

Someone will almost certainly be by to tell you that as long as you keep your deposits under $10,000 and spread them out you will be ok... This is false.

Suspicious Activity Reports get generated when you make cash or cash-equivelent transactions ranging from $3000-$10,000. These reports go to various law-enforcement types who investigate them to varying degrees.

Suspicious activity reports MAY get filed for transactions <$3,000 if the transaction appears suspicious.

Be careful, avoid using your personal information for any aspect of any transaction if at all possible.


[6 Points] pscifi:

Just deposit the same amount for reup every time. Bank sees deposit of $500, withdrawal of $500 to coinbase, and then a week later $490 is deposited again. You can say that's what you withdrew from coinbase direct to cash. If you leave all your profit at home the bank will think youre moving the same money around instead of making gains invisibly. Good luck man


[1 Points] None:

Get a bunch of prepaid $1000 American Express cards, $500 VISAS or bank cards or gold.


[1 Points] pinkprincess1:

Either use local bitcoins, or prepaid credit cards, or both.

Don't use your own bank account.


[1 Points] Hank_Vendor:

Well youd have to be selling a fuck load of weed for the bank to care. Exact amounts vary by state even i guess in US. But look up money laundering laws to find that out.

Why not just go on local bitcoins or something and find a regular cash seller. That way if your vendor gets busteds and they find all the addresses he is supposed to be not keeping, then if they check you out they wont find cash deposits into your bank following every buy, and you will be able to say you smoked all of it.


[1 Points] InfoBlue:

why weed. there's like no profit in that imo


[1 Points] None:

a) use LBC, or if using coinbase set up multiple bank accounts b) the bank won't give a fuck as long as you stay below $5000 in your deposits c) I would be more worried about the post office/law enforcement/the marketplace not being 100% secure than the bank


[1 Points] mnhty:

then put that cash back into my bank account

This is a problem. Your scheme does not scale well, so you must either keep your income limited, or find a better way to store your money.

I'd recommend not putting any of your illicit income into any bank, they employ professionals to find people who do this. Either store cash, or use the cash to buy bitcoins via LBC.

Another wild idea is to buy non-expiring gift cards to various outlets (walmart, amazon, etc), and just store those codes (don't redeem them, just use them to store value pegged to the USD). When you need cash sell the cards online (ebay, etc).


[1 Points] ushwdusduhwsd0i009:

Depositing large amounts of cash into your bank will get you a SAR, not paying taxes on it will get the attention of the IRS, not explaining where it came from will get the attention of the DEA/FBI. If you cant create a legitimate cash based business to launder it through and you dont want to keep it at home then you can buy gold and store that in a deposit box (no reporting requirements for buying certain types of bullion), you can store the cash at a storage lockup in sealed mylar bags using an account paid in cash, or you can buy bitcoin using a cash deposit via lbc. Those are the most liquid methods for storing value, bank stored gold and bitcoin has the greatest volatility risks but also has the greatest security.

*If you store gold at a bank dont do it with your main bank.


[1 Points] sozzZ:

Just remember if you do go this route you can't tell anyone, not any of your friends/customers, that you are getting the weed shipped from dnms. That could lead to serious problems down the line. So watch out there.


[1 Points] sorrybouthatsport:

Offer your smarter customers a discount if they pay you in btc. Before someone says "OMG then they knoes u are buying frum the DNMs and you'll be busted for sure" no. People are not that thoughtful.


[0 Points] self-suc-4-days:

Wow you really thought this through. Genius plan i honestly don't know how you came up with it. So creative.