It's been one year since the darknet helped me end 14 years of opiate addiction.

With all the bad feelings flying around toward the mods, the markets, and each other, it's easy to forget that we live in an amazing time and that used properly the markets can still be a positive force if we choose to use them that way.

Long story short, one year ago I decided to start looking for some meds to ease opiate withdrawals. I had a heavy habit and had been using all day every day for about 14 years, starting during puberty.

My addiction had kept me from ever really traveling, but an opportunity came up that I knew my wife and I couldn't pass up and I decided to turn to the darknet for something to get me through the vacation without being too sick.

I ended up getting some suboxone and gabapentin on evolution along with some other goodies from the clearnet. I'd always dreamed of being able to ease myself off these drugs but due to work and life circumstances, real treatment was never an option. NA/AA was not my scene at all.

On the trip, I didn't get sick. I wasn't high, but I couldn't believe that I wasn't sick at all. I stretched out what I had and made up my mind that this was the break I'd always been waiting for and resolved not to go back to the opiates once I'd run a short course of suboxone.

No one else had to know about it but me, meaning there was none of the pressure that had caused failure in the past and for the first time I really felt like I had just a smidge of control in the battle of addiction.

Today marks a year since the last time I bought opiates. It's literally the first time I can say that in my adult life. Hell, 51 weeks ago was the first time I could say I'd gone a week without buying them.

The freedom I've felt and the improvement in my life has been astonishing. I'm happy for the first time since I was a child and I'm truly thankful to be alive every single day, even the awful shitty ones.

I've since used the markets to finally avail myself of psychedelics now that I finally felt in a good place mentally. The result from that has been similarly positive. LSD is something that would otherwise never have been available to me and without the markets and this community I never would have been in the right place anyhow.

Just like all good things, the markets bring us plenty of stress and even heartache at times, but don't forget that they also bring real choice. Even as some of the individual actors behind the scenes show themselves to be rotten apples, the seed of freedom has been sown and will continue to propagate even through the dry seasons.


Comments


[52 Points] MLP_is_my_OPSEC:

Keep it up dude!


[32 Points] throwaway527586:

Thank you for the nice and encouraging comments! I'm sort of the weird loner type, so this community has been more important to me than you'd expect. Seeing the mistakes and successes of others here has a real impact on me and I really hope that anyone suffering can find the same peace that I have over the last year.

It sounds dumb, but it's really not about me. I am 100% certain that without the ability to do this privately and entirely on my terms I would not be in the position I'm in today. My success in this struggle is a side effect of what happens when people in difficult situations are suddenly given real choices.

I'm sure the darknet will continue to help those making bad decisions continue to do so, but for many people it's not even possible to make the right ones without it.

Thank you all again for your encouraging words today and always.


[25 Points] None:

Suboxone saved my life. It's an amazing tool if used correctly. Oxys->roxys->120mg methadone daily for over two years. Got sick of being in that opiate haze. Took me 46 days of subs and I was clean. Probably faster than one should from 120 mgs of methadone, but I never once got sick. Haven't touched since and honestly one of my biggest fears is getting into an accident and actually needing opiates for pain.

SR was just getting going and I didn't have the option to do it on my own like you did. Very impressive and welcome back to this life. A shitty day clean is a million times better than a great day high in the long run. Congrats

Edit: already had a couple people asking advice, being in similar situations through PM.

I made one rule to myself. When starting the sub regime, I was only going to stabilize myself. I didn't want my tolerance any higher than it was, and subs can jack your tolerance up if you aren't careful. So when we determined the correct mg for me per day, my rule was to never use more than the day before...if it was the same, ok but never more. I then began cutting my 8 mg strips into pieces for the week. This is what I think helped me so much. After a slow start, I began taking the precut pieces and would try and cut a little piece off when I thought I could. Your brain will be telling you that you'll be sick, and wd...you won't. The pieces at the end were a fraction of a milligram and I had no fear of stopping when the time came. Some good bud helped adapting to normal sleep, but it can be done without. Your mind on opiates is not your true mind, it's been numbed and is going to make you think lots of things that simply aren't true. It's the tiny decisions that make recovery work or not. The ones you make when your brain is turning against you. Recognize this, focus on your goal, and you will succeed.


[13 Points] Angry__Jonny:

Congrats bud. DNM helped me withdrawal from 4 years of benzos. Been clean 5 months now. Feels good to have mental clarity.


[12 Points] pwoahway:

This post is either eloquently beautiful or beautifully eloquent. Congrats OP, thank you for sharing this.


[12 Points] LSD-hippie:

Congrats! :) Well done! I quit my cocain addiction 16 years ago, took for a year, had to sell to get myself blown away from reality, today im proud and smoke some cannabis and taking some LSD, and LSD really helped me with the medicin i have been taken for several years without succes, i was like i was born at new, and i also want to say THANKS to the darknet for saving my life! :) My life is so much better after i tried lucy the first time, amaizing, why dont they use this to treat sickness instead of making people more sick to earn some more money on there illness, that is sickness.


[11 Points] None:

Nice! Sucks being a slave to the poppy. Enjoy life without it...


[5 Points] procowtipper:

Happy anniversary!


[4 Points] bobbiggs69:

One day at a time my friend...


[5 Points] crondom90:

Beatiful post


[5 Points] WolfID:

Well done OP. Stay strong, the path leading away from an opiate addiction is not an easy one, but you're able to do it!


[4 Points] rabbitsfootx:

Dude I'm so happy for you. Psychedelics are where its at


[5 Points] Gypsy456:

You should post to r/opiates


[3 Points] the_dza:

I've been wanting to kick the prescription meds for a while now. Running out sooner and sooner every month. Having a week of feeling like shit while I try and titrate safely with what I have left, feeling like shit regardless then taking a 60 - 100mg oxy as soon as I get my hands on my new script. Hating myself every time I take 5, 6 or 7 pills a day when I promised this month it would be different, that I'd stick to 4 no matter what. Taking them for mental pains as well as physical. This is my first post to DNMs. I've looked at the markets but I don't have crypto currency and never found a succinct and useful guide to getting started with the markets. Some day I'll either get sick enough or smart enough to figure it out. Congratulations on your success. Thanks for sharing your experience and instilling some hope for another sufferer.


[2 Points] lifeisask8park:

Congrats on your year! !


[2 Points] anybodycanpostconten:

Amen


[2 Points] None:

Excellent post. Good for you.


[2 Points] christianiadk:

Well done, truly.


[2 Points] DrinkMoreCodeMore:

Congrats dude!


[2 Points] hog_master:

Nice! Keep it up my man. I also quit a 7 year IV heroin habit, I now use Heroin again (just took a nice line), but only once a every month or so, solely for recreation. It is great. I love it again.

But it took my life for a while.

Keep up the good work brother, and PM me anytime you need!


[2 Points] None:

Suboxone helped me get clean too, but you're right about it jacking your tolerance up. I had to lower my dose because I was getting that crappy suboxone high off 20mg.


[2 Points] mangoman33:

good for you. i too have used it to get off opiate pills. i weened off pills (80mg a day oxycodon) in nov 2013 using kratom (not from darkmarkets) but then needed a fix after 2 months and started eating some of the opium i had collected from SR1 and AG. that was my 'relapse' if you will. but for the first time it wasn't a relapse to pills. the natural stuff was very gentle on my body. when i finally decided to get off it, it had been over 18months since i last ingested a pill....the longest stretch for me in 10years. it was all very private too. no pressure. just all me and no drama.


[1 Points] Tune-chi:

Heil yah bruh!


[1 Points] thelastvirgin:

Congratulations! I just put down opiates recently and guess what.. I've been eating LSD about two to three times a month.


[1 Points] octomarvel:

Great job man!!!

I don't know you and you don't know me, but I feel some sense of pride for you.

Keep on keeping on bro!!

=,)


[1 Points] MaybItsMethmphtamine:

THank you. Gives me hope. I had been wondering if gabapentin actually works. I've heard of clonodine helping, anyone know if this is true?


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] chickeninthepot:

keep up the good work dude very happy for you, It really helps to hear the positive stories, I know they are out there. Nobody wants to read topics about people getting overdosing or some vendor sold some one the wrong drug and it fucked them up big time etc, for every shitty story like that, there are probably 10 positive stories that don't get posted.

examples -this story - the darknet saved person from having to risk dealing with violent drug dealers - some one can now get a hold of medication that they couldn't other wise get because they were afraid to see a doctor -etc

love these stories thumbs up keep up the good work :)


[1 Points] None:

Congrats, opiates and benzos have been the two things my personality would love to have gone deep with, and it's only through circumstance it didn't happen. Really glad for you, for all the words of an internet troll might stand for.


[1 Points] PrinceKael:

The DNM actually made my life crazy... I learnt a lot and had some of the most beautiful experiences of my life with my friends using LSD and MDMA. However it also led to my heroin addiction. However, I'm now seeking therapy and trying to buy Suboxone from the DnM's. Tbh the DNM's didn't do this to me, I did. And I was going to do all these drugs no matter what. At least I had the internet for research, the quality assurance, access to testing kits and reviews from other users. Those things combined probably saved my life from my dangerous curiosity.

But congratulations dude. Opiate addiction is the worst thing of all time.


[1 Points] OFWGavin:

LSD is probably an incredible thing in that mind state. I know when I first began dabbling with it, it was truly enlightening and I was in a really shitty place. Congrats man, all the power in the world to you.


[1 Points] Gratefulstickers:

As a fellow junkie on suboxone, keep up the good work.


[1 Points] Didymos_Black:

Don't be afraid to ask your doc for a prescription for gabapentin. I take 1200mg 3xd for anxiety (off label use). If you have a knowledgeable MD, they probably would go for it. My doc seemed concerned with the dose (my psychiatrist prescribed it) but seems more concerned with the possible effects on my kidneys than anything else.


[1 Points] BLuel4bel:

Awesome, keep this up brother.


[1 Points] Neophyte-:

How did you use it to withdrawal without any symptoms?


[1 Points] recoverybelow:

That is one problem with recovery, is most people often know that you are trying to get sober and the pressure is immense. It can help, but it can also hurt


[1 Points] creamynebula:

I'm so happy for you, thank you for telling us!


[1 Points] throwawayfastxanax:

Im also currently trying to get clean. IM soooo upset tho about MXE no longer being available. I managed to get clean using subs and MXE was a huge help. MXE helped me with the withdrawl needed to get onto the subs my tolerance is so high that waiting 24 hours is very painful in itself. There are studies for exactly this for K. But MXE was better because lasted longer and more stimulating so didnt feel so tired. It was amazing how it completely took away my withdrawl.

I went a month clean and easily could of stayed clean I didnt have craving but thought I could just chip. Thats a lie and I learned that never again will I touch a pain killer.

Im looking to kick this weekend. I have 20 subs which should be enough I am thinking if I go down fast. They can stretch a lot towards the end when you only take 1 mg and 1 sub lasts 8 days. . .

But I need help for if anyone can recommend comfort drugs to me to take before going on subs and while on subs. I wanted to try 3 meo pcp as a mxe replacement but waltz is being weird. I have 20 xanax bars and want to know about any other drugs I might be able to order to help me with sub induction and then the cravings after words. I am thinking some weed altho I didnt smoke in years and it gives me some anxiety with xanax it may help. Maybe trying CBD bars or high CBD weed strain? IDK if anyone knows about this? Please If anyone can help and recommend anything


[-3 Points] None:

[removed]


[-4 Points] legalizeNUKESANDcp:

You gotta real try to get hooked I have bought grams of H, all goes up my nose and all I want right now is METH still.