OK, so, I thought I was getting followed by the police. Had a plastic ziplock baggy (about 5cm by 6cm) with less than 0.1g of coke in it, literally a crappy last line not even worth bothering with.
Didn't want to be caught with class A as it can be grounds to get your house searched in the UK, and although I have nothing to hide there's no way I'd want to explain to the people I live with what was going on.
So, swallowed the bag. Took a bit of swallowing but it went down. Police just cruised on by. Went to the shop, purchased some milk, downed it then stuck my fingers down my throat. I got nothing - spewed the milk but not the bag.
Anyway, this was exactly a week ago, last Thursday afternoon. I've had no ill effects since, and I've been fishing through every turd that I've produced. Nothing.
So today I went to the doctor. Thought I'd give it a week and if nothing had come out I should probably ask for his advice. He didn't ask for the circumstances surrounding the event, and I didn't volunteer them. He just said he'd have to talk to a digestive specialist as it was an unusual problem I'd presented him with.
This is what I told him:
I'm not unwell, and apart from being overly cautious about any twinge or unusual sensation I'm feeling, all seems normal.
I'm eating normally. I increased the fiber in my diet to aid the transit of aforementioned foreign object.
Turds, as far as I can tell, are normal. At least one a day. I've never got so up close and personal with so many, but as far as I can tell all is as it should be on the chocolate log front.
The doctor couldn't be sure that I hadn't digested and broken down the bag, but from my research I am reasonably confident that it's not possible to digest plastic. I'm not worried about the coke, it wasn't even that good and you'd need to ingest close to a gram to put you in danger, I'm more concerned about the bag.
My question is: anyone ever swallowed something and have some sort of experience of passing the object out, I'm guessing I can't be the only one to have done something rash like this.
I'm a lot less nervous now that a week has passed, not sure what my logic is, but I'm calmer about it. At the very least I thought it's give the group a laugh. Certainly made a few of my close friends piss themselves. Fuckers!
If you swallowed that bag a week ago, and are still shitting on the reg, it is no longer inside you.