i've been ordering various drugs off the dnms for about 2 and a half years no problem. all of my orders were domestic and i had never been scammed or had any problems with the law. around christmas time i decided to pop my international cherry and order a shitload of mdma from a safe country in europe. i probably wouldn't have ordered internationally but i had recently acquired a costco membership and was having a lot of fun buying stuff in bulk. having a lifetime supply of super cheap mdma seemed really smart and not having to make any more orders in the future seemed safer than having to keep reupping. hell even ordering around the holidays seemed safe and smart.
so of course not long after ordering my pack is stuck in customs and i start getting a little nervous. to calm my nerves i made the following purchases..
a lawyer, only cost me $5000 to have this really nice jewish fellow on retainer.
i also dropped $2200 on various drones and security cameras so I can see the feds before the feds see me in case of a cd.
i then spent 3 days and $450 making nesting russian doll style faraday cages.
after my pack's been sitting inbound to customs for 17 days i decide to get smart and properly clean house by burying all my drugs in the woods. so i'm out in the woods and i'm just getting raped by nature. mosquitos and midges are just feasting on my sweaty stressed out body. as i'm leaving i see a bear and almost have a heart attack. while driving home i realize there's a small chance that bear is completely fucked up on all of my drugs and while i don't care if the bear dies (fuck bears) or gets high in general (i'm kinda a libertarian) the thought of this stupid bear thrashin my stash which i've worked so hard to hide really pisses me off.
another two weeks go by and my pack is still stuck in customs. oh and by now i'm also completely addicted to benzos. my dumbass eurotrash vendor wont refund or reship and deep down i don't even know which i would prefer. i feel terrible all the time.
anyways on day 42 my pack lands safe and sound. great stealth and great product. i can't even begin to describe the relief i felt after receiving my package. and if you've never seen 100 grams of mdma in person you're really missing out, it's beautiful like yellowstone but it smells way better.
a week later i dig up my stash and it's fine. worrying about bears getting high on drugs you bury in the woods is dumb. and while i'll never order internationally again because it's too stressful for me, well, it could've been a lot worse. so how come i still feel terrible? well it turns out that when i was dickin around in the woods i got bit by a tick because my bloodwork shows i've got fucking lyme disease. now i'm on antibiotics and my doc says there's a 50% chance i'll be fine and that's really reassuring so now i'm on antibiotics and 6mg alp daily weeeeee.
Why does everyone always hire Jewish lawyers?