Hey guys, let's start a DNM secret santa!

So I was thinking about how thankful I am that the internet is full of drug pushers and dope fiends and I had a great idea -- how about we start a DNM secret santa! Since we are all such avid drug users I figure we can set up an exchange to use the postal service to facilitate interstate transit of non-personal amounts of various scheduled substances to one another in order to really celebrate the season. To make sure that everyone gets what they want, I'm willing to act as a facilitator of sorts -- I just need everyone to send me their email address, the type of drug you prefer, your vendor name and preferred market (if applicable), and whether you prefer large quantities of narcotics due to your intent to distribute them to others. Oh, and obviously I'll need your home address to make sure the package gets where it's intended! LOL, almost forgot!

Once I get enough participants I'll match all you drugheads up with one another and then the real fun can begin! There's no price limit in this gift exchange -- the more drugs you're willing to send through the mail, the better! Remember to give me your address, because the more drugs you're willing to send, the more you'll get! Let's start this early and make this the best season yet for us Darkwing Market users!


Comments


[33 Points] None:

I just need everyone to send me their email address, the type of drug you prefer, your vendor name and preferred market (if applicable), and whether you prefer large quantities of narcotics due to your intent to distribute them to others.

SWIM thinks this is a great idea! Thanks /u/DefinitelyNOTthe_DEA, you seem very trustworthy for some reason.


[22 Points] fuuuuckckckckck:

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW

Washington, DC 20500

I'll take a quarter pound of heroin.


[12 Points] genericmetahub:

5/5 Mr Magoo 1774 Lake Dr Omaha, NE 14808


[4 Points] 73grandam:

Cop shit


[7 Points] FriendlyDrugAddict:

A good idea would be give them a list of good vendors, and have them send a list of their drops encypted with each vendor Maybe 5 vendors? (so you never see it) and then you just don't tell them what vendor and pack your buying and send the vendor the encrypted address.


[4 Points] Kwitcher_Bitchin:

get that u/bitcoin tip thing going, spread some bitcheer


[3 Points] TigerHall:

Great in theory, terrible in practice.


[3 Points] None:

nice try lE


[3 Points] None:

You aren't a cop are you? If you are a cop, you have to answer that question truthfully. It's in the constitution.


[1 Points] honestlyimeanreally:

Hah

No


[1 Points] sheeproadreloaded2:

Secret santa is for work colleagues who like each other.

This is Reddit.

Burn your house, we're scared of the postman.


[1 Points] guest20253:

Might as well just go straight to police office and sign myself in.


[1 Points] beamerboy46350:

Since I'm paranoid about giving my address out could u just send it to my local police station? I got a friend there he will let me pick it up?


[-1 Points] None:

I know at first glance this seems like a bad idea, but this COULD work with specific enough instructions. For instance, each person will send you a PGP-encrypted message with their key, and the keys of their favorite vendors (which is their address), along with their public key for the vendor to use. That way, only the vendor the Secret Santa chooses will have the actual address, and the prospect of giving strangers your address actually becomes relatively harmless.

I don't know if I'd personally do this, but it seems to be pretty safe way of doing it.