I'm a medium sized vendor and I have no idea how to launder the amount of money I'm making. Can anyone help me out?

I'm a medium sized vendor on one of the smaller markets. I've been vending for about 6 months now, and based on my earnings so far I'm figuring I'll make between $40k and $60k this year in total. However, I don't quite know how to launder this amount of money.

It seems like it's not quite enough to open a front business, but it's also too much to just cash out and spend freely. I've got about $20k in student loan debt left to pay off and I'd like to use this money, but I can't exactly just deposit that amount into the bank. I've heard going to casinos can be a good way to wash sizable but massive amounts of money, but I've never been to a casino and I don't know how the casino plan works.

So, can anyone offer any tips for me?


Comments


[100 Points] RIP_Meth_9000:

You have your son, Walt jr set up a web page that takes donations to help pay for the cancer treatments needed to save your life!!!!! Or you can just buy a freaking car wash.....Bahahahahaahaha!!!!!!!!!!


[65 Points] m222222222222222m:

ITT: poorly thought out generic ideas that are more likely to raise alarm bells than not laundering the money at all.


[44 Points] maxturbator:

Banana stand.


[44 Points] whatisopsec:

Do you have any legitimate income? Convert some of your BTC to cash and start using it to displace your current spending. Buy groceries and necessities in cash and save your legitimate income. This is the easiest way to 'launder' your money.

If you just want to pay your student loans with this money it is not such a big deal. You can put in a thousand dollars into your bank every week and no one will ever bat an eye. You can just use that money to pay your student loans.

The big thing when depositing dirty money is not to put in $10,000 in a rolling 30 day period and also not to avoid putting in $10,000 in a 30 day period (no $9,900 deposits).

With small regular cash deposits say $1,000 a week you are not terribly likely to ever face scrutiny. Especially if you spend the money as it comes in and never build up to all $50,000 in the bank.


[36 Points] None:

[deleted]


[21 Points] None:

[deleted]


[17 Points] None:

[deleted]


[16 Points] None:

[deleted]


[14 Points] Phkn-Pharaoh:

I agree with /u/m222222222222222m

Especially when it's under 100K or some huuuge amount (not saying your chunk isn't large lol), if you don't have a legit established store/front, doing most of these out-of-the-way methods might raise more alarm bells than not laundering it at all. Better off just displacing income by buying groceries and shit with the cash and saving the legit income for the debt. You'd probably be ok with even putting in $1-2k straight into the bank each month. If you really want to push it, I'd recommend no more than $3,000 a week. That might trigger the bank into filing an SAR - fucking Mericant govt always has to threaten us with putting their noses in our business....fuck the IRS


[10 Points] RIP_Meth_9000:

Who YOU gonna call.....Meth_9000 Authentic Chinese Laundry Service.....We'll get that dirty $$$$ clean.....Bahahahaahahaha!!!!!!!!!


[10 Points] saintjoe303:

Set up a kick starter, succeed, pay the %10. Win


[10 Points] 080997:

Say you are an escort and you keep your clients id confidential


[7 Points] None:

[deleted]


[6 Points] evawv:

Have multiple people write you checks and sign an affidavit stating that it is a gift for a purchase you're about to make (or pay off student loans). Pay them cash for principal and fees, and ask them not to deposit all at once.


[5 Points] AccntNmbr4:

Get a job waiting tables. Declare an extra 100 or 200 a night in TIPS. clean.


[5 Points] Biot_Savart:

Just remembered about this... I watched a Scientology documentary a couple of months ago and they won a "war" with the government turning it into a tax free church. How about you create a church with your own gospel, no matter how freaky it is since Scientology, and cash out the money as gifts to the church, it will be taxed but it will be legit. You can even rent a place to do your sermons about The Allmighty Grey Overlord from Zeta Reticulli.


[5 Points] sammyssb:

Invest in a pawn shop. Buy items such as jewelry and stereo shit with btc to sell in store. Ir would be a whole business deal but it seems like you could wash at least a couple thousand this way if you can purchase those kinds of goods with btc.


[6 Points] None:

[deleted]


[7 Points] mdmater:

Well obviously don't do what AK aka Quantik did, because that was stupidly laughable.

  1. BTC mastercard (easy)

  2. Buy shitty houses, use Mexican labor for cash to fix them, sell them for a profit. (more complicated)


[4 Points] toss-1:

Stop vending I am constantly stunned by the failure to plan post. Seriously, think about that advice you obtain by creating this clear net inquiry. (no on is reading this just you and I)??? Do your homework & do not be lazy and get an AML charge or like charge from what ever country you are from.


[4 Points] Sanhua:

Get a bitcoin card and withdraw cash. Spend the cash and save all your money from your legitimate job.


[5 Points] None:

Okay, so just a thought I ran through with going from cash to BTC, so bear with me.

What if you sold some "collectibles" on eBay or something and bought them with burner accounts with the exact amounts on cash-purchased reloadable Visas? Ship to bullshit address, don't add tracking number, money goes through, and viola!

Where did you find these collectibles? Garage sale.

This way you have a legitimate receipt of the transaction.


[3 Points] None:

car detailing


[3 Points] 9fy238888:

Ill chime in here after reading all the responses, which ihmo are terrible. They are basically telling you to setup a successful business which of course if you had one you wouldnt be dealing drugs. Or to setup a fake business, the sheer amount of labor it would take to setup fake buys of whatever legit product or service you would be selling and then have to pay income tax on it.

Casino plan doesnt work, irs caught on and now requires casinos report winnings when you cash out.

You are at a weird inbetween level where you dont have enough to launder properly but still too much to put into a bank. Consider all the ways in which you can pay with cash or money orders. Your loan is a good example, you dont have to pay with a bank, you can pay with money orders, $2k/mo. You think creditors will report you for paying them? lol no, banks are primary reporters and only for cash deposits, as well as any business that accepts $10k+ in cash for a transaction, or as another poster responded with gold business, $10k culmulative buy from a shop in a month. This is a cash specific rule, money orders arent under this rule.

There are other things that can setoff SAR's, opening too many bank accounts and/or closing them, exact deposit numbers $3400 instead of $3412.24. Regular over $3k cash deposits and big just under $10k deposits.

But seriously fuck banks, they are just a middleman, pay the person directly and chances are they wont fuck with you. If you save up enough buy property cash, private sellers do not report people buying properties with cash, then you can turn around and sell it, IRS doesnt give a shit, you can claim you flipped it, or just hold onto it and rent it out for profit, oldest laundering trick in the book.

But fuck fake businesses and all these try-hard scams, irs is not stupid. If you are asked say you saved up gifts from friends and family and sold some of your stuff (at a loss).


[2 Points] vodkalime:

You need a legit part time job to cover the essentials you must pay electronically like student loans. Use the bitcoin mc to cover small items paid electronically. Everything else just do cash. No need to launder such a small amount.


[2 Points] lordalpha:

Open a small business oversea.


[2 Points] twigburst:

You don't need to launder that small of an amount of money first off. It seems the feds are probably watching people that sell BTC, I would suggest finding an intermediary to move them for you, or you can sell them anonymously through western union. That or use your BTC to buy other shit you can sell online legally. The other option is to just wait until you have enough money, quit vending, and just sell it all at once. Claim the gains to the IRS. It isn't illegal to profit from BTC transactions.


[2 Points] retroracer:

get a line of credit with a bank and use the money to pay of the loan. if you use the money just to pay on the line of credit it doesn't get reported


[2 Points] Yolo20152016:

The IRS has a section for this.

taxfoundation.org/blog/irs-guidance-thieves-drug-dealers-and-corrupt-officials

LoL


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] aknutty:

I would sell small amounts to individuals through mycelium, always in public places, also look for gun shops and pawn shops many of them have libertarian types and will buy bitcoin for cash. Other than that set up a legitimate business selling things for bitcoin and sell to yourself.


[0 Points] you-are-a-cop:

1.) You're gonna end up in jail

2.) Fake post put up by LE trolls to gain intel...because they are running out of ideas.

Not a clever bunch, are ya Mr. DEA?


[-1 Points] joseph11h:

Get a VPN. That will fix a lot of your problems right off the bat. Just think about it....


[1 Points] None:

Advertize something of value for say ebay get a friend to 'buy' it give him the money to pay for it via ebay then bang into your account


[1 Points] Rawr_meow_woof_oink:

Just saying, I work in the casino business and they're very very wary of laundering, they will almost certainly catch on to you.


[1 Points] None:

Sound of da police


[1 Points] thatG_evanP:

Do you have any cool friends or family with legit $ that would pay off your student loans for you in order to make a little bread? Say they pay off your 20K in loans then you give them 25K in BTC? Just using these numbers for an example btw.


[1 Points] ogmaster23:

or just pay your family in cash to pay your debt off. then open a safety deposit box? nice and safe and only you know whats in there. unless you wanted to have that money available all the time, it would take some time to get in there but thats my suggestion


[1 Points] AccntNmbr4:

DVD rental business? Every DVD gets rented every night and returned in the morning. Everyone always pays cash.


[1 Points] Polarbear53041:

(Sigh) So i posted once below but i feel like this is an important point to make for OP. A lot of people here think he should hang on to the coins, Im guessing as an investment??

The only reason that would make ANY sense in holding onto coins longer than you have to would be to manipulate your income for tax purposes. Since April 15th isnt coming any time soon, i think it's safe to assume that wont be the issue.

Before i begin let me be specific. This super long winded post is how I would handle the 40-60K from THIS year. You will need to come up with a long term solution if you plan to make this your career.

Where to begin.....

Bitcoins! Well, they're not a currency, they're an asset (yes, there's a difference). So, your situation is no different than an employee choosing stock options over a cash bonus. Stricly legally speaking, the second those coins are turned into cash they're taxable income. Now, given yer a vendor on the dark web, have a ton of student debt, and all of your money is represented through an online algorithm only about 50% of the country is familiar with...how to go about making sure the IRS gets every DIME you owe is a major priority! Yes, come tax time you're going to owe a LOT of money to the government. Yes, there ARE are some irresponsible, selfish, and lazy citizens who would say you'd be an IDIOT if you actually paid taxes on this money.total..IDIOT..if you paid taxes on this money.

K

Rule #1. Do NOT leave your money in bitcoins!! Get your money out of there! I mean it will be a headache anyway since you'll have to exchange through the ledger, honestly I thought this would be more obvious but apparently....its not. This 40k to 60k is your salary from work, having the bulk of a year's salary tied up in a volatile asset is NOT smart financial planning. In fact, it's borderline insane. Now, if you think Bitcoin will keep going up like everyone on this board is so sure of, by all means, take 5-10K and let it ride. Its literally no different than putting it all on red at the roulette table. I saw three different posts from people, all

Now, i think MY bank allows me to deposit 5k without paperwork, questions, etc. Somewhere around 8-10K they have to verify bills/check signatures/etc so i have to wait like 24 hours until it's all available in my account. Then, i once deposited a 22k check, and i got talked into 2 meetings and was "upgraded", meaning i got a bunch of phone calls asking how i was gonna invest the cash. My point is, you need to find out your bank's policies and avoid any unnecessary documentation, questions, eyebrows, etc. Having two quiet bank accounts instead of one with a ton of activity will blend more.

Now we can deal with the money. What is the point of laundering the money? If it's cause the coins came from certain websites, and you're looking to clean up where the BTC transactions occurred, there are services who can "tumble" your coins. I think it costs 2-3% and its what i do if i feel like my name's attached to closely to purchased bitcoins. If you're laundering the money so you can spend it without the government asking a bunch of questions, that will depend on how fast you liquidate. If all your money is in coins, you need to start exchanging those suckers for cash at a somewhat regular basis.

Some people were suggesting casinos, which i dont think is a good idea. Casino chips only help by exchanging money you fear is being tracked, say from a robbery. True, a casino COULD provide an explanation to how you made your money, but i wouldn't do it. If you suddenly report 60K in gambling winnings as way to explain the money's orgin. Well, go ahead and prepare to be audited for the next 5 years, I mean it'd be easier to just write "drug dealer" on your tax form.

20K in student loans is a good thing, just make your normal payments (if you're paying on them) and make sure you turn in the tax credit when you file. You'll look like every other struggling college student, and less likely a profitable target for the IRS to audit. I dont think there's a need to fake a job, or get TOO fancy over 40-60K. Absolute worst case scenario, you can use a one-time gift of around 30K to someone in your family tax free, but you wanna save that for real estate later in life, so i wouldnt burn it.

At this point i can only tell you what id do.

Personally, Id build up around 20K or so in my account. Go ahead and claim it at tax time as windfall income. Now, since you're paying student loans you'll receive a tax credit based on whatever you've payed for the year. With an income of 15K, and a tax credit from loans, i dont think you'd owe too much to the IRS and you dont even look suspicious.

Then, and this is HUGE, you become what so many Americans hate. Take 15-20K and invest through a licensed broker. Make SURE you use a professional, the idea here is to establish investments over years. Im not sure exactly the time frame, it may only be 2-3 years, but THIS money, along with any growth, is something called Capital Gaines.


[1 Points] identiifiication:

You could say you where a successful Bitcoin trader? The downside is if they wanted you to prove it with your trade history though, so..


[0 Points] Badwolf2013:

Etsy store or eBay store.


[0 Points] 11579361:

Digital items are a possibility for some of it.


[0 Points] brnme:

Keep the bitcoins, wait 3 years. I promise you more bank will be made. And the laundering will sort it self.


[0 Points] theyreallparanoid:

Listen 80% in here are plain guessing along with being WAY paranoid about anything so from someone that's pulled out a shit tonne more than yourself all you need to do is go to local bitcoin, establish a relationship with a trader that needs bulk regularly and meet for a cash trade. Don't load up localbtc with coins other than a couple which will enable you to message buyers and just send it to them via your personal wallet when meeting them. Wait around for a confirmation or two on the chain whiulst counting the doh, shake hands and say your goodbye's till you meet again.


[0 Points] TeamMcLovin:

Listen fam. Set up a website that offers a service (web developing or something), link your PayPal account to it - so that when "customers" purchase, it gets sent to your PayPal and then to your business bank account (which you will need to make). What actually will happen, is that you'll buy your own services with separate PayPal accounts/gift cards.

Step 1: cash out your bitcoin

Step 2: make the site I mentioned earlier, make a real PayPal account, link that to the site

Step 3: buy a shitload of Visa gift cards, make some fake PayPal accounts

Step 4: make a business bank account, link it to your real PayPal

Step 5: Slowly use those cards and accounts to "buy" services on your site

Step 6: Transfer your clean PayPal money into your bank account

Step 7: Pay estimated taxes to the government every quarter.

Step 8: remember to keep records of transactions in QuickBooks or something similar. If necessary, hire some young kid to do the books for you. Just give him your business bank statements.


[0 Points] OzFreelancer:

This smells a bit like reporter :)


[0 Points] None:

[deleted]


[0 Points] stilldogman:

This is probably WAY oversimplified, and maybe even dumb, BUT, couldn't you just set up some sort of "I'm taking donations to pay student loans" page, somewhat along the lines of "GoFundMe" and all that, and tumble your coins, then send them to yourself via said page before cashing out?

I don't know tax laws on taking donations and shit, but I'm assuming that you could legally do something like THAT, and pay whatever taxes that you have to pay after the fact.


[-1 Points] sayitaintsokd:

You LE? If you can figure out how to sell drugs online, you can figure out to launder the fucking money.


[-1 Points] 1percentof1:

just take a trip to mexico, cash out. carry the money across the boarder.


[-1 Points] ewdsc3wqef:

Just cash them out and tell the gov't you bought BTC back in 2012 or something for $1 each


[-1 Points] dnvendorthrowaway:

You're too fucking stupid to vend.

Maybe you'll get a Darwin award.

You're a fucking drug dealer bringing your unwashed ass here to figure out what you should have thought about.

No matter what, your op sec sucks.

Targets like you keep the heat off people like me. Keep up the good work and when you get caught, just tell the guidance counselor your uncle comes in your room at night for "special time".


[-2 Points] MitalikaSucks:

I do not have much knowledge about trafficking BTC but can the following schema work?

DNM Market->LBC wallet(TOR)->tumbler->Electrum wallet->LBC wallet (clearnet) and sell for cash


[-2 Points] GreenMatters:

Why would you even launder 60k a year? Add another zero to that for me, I'm not even laundering a dollar...


[-7 Points] None:

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[-8 Points] None:

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