The MXE we know and love is gone and it's our fault.

I remember it so clearly. The weeks I had spent on RCSupplier14's MXE could be compared to a blissful trance. Each bump brought about a floaty/spacey, euphoric, introspective high that no MXE I have acquire since has achieved. I would spend all day feeling as if I was one with something greater, fully immersed in music, video games, and just every day life. Things were better.

I first tried MXE back in the days of VIS Research, the first and only domestic lab to EVER synthesize Methoxetamine for commercial use (our use). The MXE came in a slightly green tinted vial and shined as if it were a mirror shattered into a million pieces. Every 40mg dose brought about an Mhole that brought music to a different level, if you were to experience MXE during this period you would have told me about how an Mhole dose was one of the most eye-opening experiences of your life: travelling through space at the tempo of whatever music you were blessed with, re-programming your own mind with your new-found introspective abilities, a sense of child-like "wow" that you. will. never. feel. again.

I don't know what happened since then. Most people would tell you your tolerance is just at the point where pleasurable feelings can no longer be felt through this chemical. The ability for me to take a single M-Hole dose and explore the universe while slowly drifting off to sleep is long gone. "Disappointingly lucid and aware" is how I would describe my M-Holes, almost 4 years later. Long gone are the feelings of complete immersion and catharsis of the M-Hole. Where I'd previously feel my psyche be toss and turned by the "sludge" that was MXE-ness is now replaced by the sightseeing of large, empty, sterile 90° corner filled rooms of what used to be: what used to be cherished.

Perhaps its just my tolerance after consuming easily over 30+grams of the shit but the memories of flying through space and waking up refreshed and headache-free are still fresh in my mind. I remember fondly walking through the halls of my school feeling as if I had finally had a satisfying nights sleep, as if my brain finally had enough time to repair and refresh itself. I felt as if the anti-depressant effects of MXE that had been reported almost immediately since it's release were true.

What we grew to know and love is gone. Vendor instability, the effects and QUALITY of the drug itself seem to have created its own subculture within the "RC" community. In a community pockmarked by inefficient or dangerous drugs MXE stands out because of how enjoyable it is. Hundreds of individuals, including myself, will never view life the same because of MXE. For many of us, we have finally experienced the "taboo" point where an individual can look back and say "That's when I was never the same". Unfortunately China's has seen this in us. With a multitude of laboratories pouring out MXE it didn't take long for the state to ban the manufacture and sale of our beloved chemical. You know the "buzz-word" chemicals: MXM. MXP. Chemicals produced in the wake of the MXE ban in order to replace MXE. It doesn't feel right. The knowledgeable individuals will think to themselves "This cannot be explained with just an increase in tolerance, something about this high is fundamentally different."

MXE now: My tolerance shocks my friends. The fastest I've ever gone though a gram is two days. Two days of confusion and depressive-manic decision making (flush all your drugs, drive across the country, you're killing yourself with this shit, kill yourself). I've never been able to reach the euphoria I felt around the era of RCSupplier14. It wasn't just a physical sense of eupgoria I was feeling but somethign different. Something more advanced than the dopamine rush of amphetamine or cocaine. Somethinf that told me that "this is sustainable.", "this is all you need".

These days I lay in bed until 3AM while begging for my mind to get out of "M-Hole mode" (a view of huge landscapes and a sense of movement), suffering from headache, and regret. My days of listening to Radiohead's The King of Limbs with an absolute sense of connection and understanding are long gone, my days of almost every psychological issue I experience being alleviated by the bump of a drug, the days I wish I could look back on and remember are long gone.

MXE, the greatest drug I'd ever tried and never once cherished.

EDIT: Holy fuck my head hurts. I'm leaving this up as a testament to what the drunk mind can do


Comments


[12 Points] Thoughtsofamaniac:

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it's 99% probably your tolerance. Dissociative lovers tend to find out the hard way that tolerance to dissociative substances works different than most. Most seem to work on a bell curve, meaning that after a long enough time they go back to baseline. Dissociative substances however seem to have a slight increase in tolerance with extensive heavy use which leads to a plateau, a loss of the magic per se. It can happen whether your thing is ketamine, dxm or MXE. You may catch a break by taking a very extensive break and then starting slowly but there's never a guarantee. On the flipside there's not even a guarantee any tolerance would be permanent. But dissociatives in general do lead to a long term tolerance with heavy use where there's nearly no noticeable positive effect from them. I recommend taking a long break, it's more worth it to savor the magic than to lose it.

All of that being said some of the MXE on the market is pretty shit right now. Psychotropix' current batch burns like hell and gives no good effect so I'm avoiding for now. There are some decent clearnet vendors with very high quality MXE though as well as some MXE S-Isomer floating around which supposedly has slightly more stimulant and psychedelic effects.


[5 Points] None:

[deleted]


[2 Points] be_it_known:

Good stuff is still out there, EDIT, WAS, but no longer, 99% S-isomer, comparable to what VIS had. LaffyTaffy on the darknet has the saltier more powdery stuff comparable to what I had from one of RCSuppliers batches. I also have a relatively high tolerance after 4 years of use, but I always give myself tolerance breaks between binges and still love the shit out of it.


[2 Points] hog_master:

It is a sad scene right now for most disso's


[1 Points] John-Thackery:

I agree 100%. I was going to make a post to similar effect as this because I've thought this for a long time. The MXE going around these days is different than what it used to be, that is MXE from just about 1 year ago. MXE going around these days is different than the MXE I got the first few times from RCI and MXE_Dealer (likely the same person). That MXE was a fluffy powder, unmistakably different than the crystalline/salt like consistency of current MXE. It gave a different high and the anti-depressant effects and afterglow was by far the best aspect of the experience. I still enjoy MXE, but it mostly just gives some mental dissociation with a body high. But it's not like it used to be.

Now there is certainly something to be said for tolerance, there always is, and there is the topic of different MXE polymorphs. I've used less than 2.5 grams in 1.5 years though so I don't have a tremendous tolerance. But I fully believe there is more to it than just a tolerance.

And this isn't too say MXE around today is shit, but that stuff from a bit ago was better. SpaceCrystal has the best MXE I've gotten recently but I haven't found anything like the first 2 or 3 grams I got. I hope it shows up some day


[0 Points] JamesKBoyd:

I've gone through at least 500 grams of it in the past 4 or 5 years, and I've NEVER had anything that even came close to touching the quality of VIS. I know that I never will see any of that again. And that's not really all that much of a bad thing. Soon, I will be quitting my research with this fantastic chemical altogether.