I want a USB that has the latest version of tails installed on it so I can plug it into my laptop and boot it straight from the USB. I can't do it myself because my laptop does not have a disc drive. I remember seeing somebody selling them a while ago on Agora but haven't been able to find a similar listing.
DO NOT DO THIS.
The person who makes your "Tails" drive has complete control over everything that that operating system does. The simplest thing for them to do with that power is to completely invisibly change some or all bitcoin addresses that you copy to your clipboard into one that they control, stealing your money with no recourse. But of course there are many, many other ways that such a person could screw you over.
If you can find an extremely trustworthy person to make one for you (e.g., probably not somebody that you know only pseudonymously from the DNM community), MAYBE, but it's just plain not a good habit to be in.
You can use UNetBootIn to make yourself a USB drive from the Tails .iso file, it's not difficult - that's what you should do.
Alternatively, if you feel like you could trust me to do it, I could do it for you - but if I were you, I wouldn't trust anyone.