[Complaint/Warning] British Tor Vendor's Association Warning - /r/darknetmarkets - need more meth immediately

The British Tor Vendor's Association of My Living Room has advised BOTH of its members (sitting to our left and right, respectively) to continue passing the meth pippe (I would remind you that "we" are BRITISH, at least three times per post, so please spell "pippe" and other words correctly).

Failure to do so could immediately result in a serious lack of ridiculously long-winded, nonsensical, vaguely racist/sexist, yet properly punctuated posts about how important "we" are, how much we hate Evo, and also about the guy that is looking into our peephole right noOH SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT SHADOW FLICKER BACK ACROSS THE HOLE I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN SEE HIM THIS TIME.

Our legislature has had a vote and with all 3 members present, a quorum was reached to send a delegation of 1/3rd of our membership (he just got a fat rip, let someone else hit the pippe) to tescos (again, british, please) to get more lightbulbs. On the way back, we asked him to circle the house in a large circle in a manner consistent with someone checking to see if he is being followed.


Comments


[32 Points] BullyingBullishBull:

This isn't the novelty account we wanted, but it was the one we needed.


[28 Points] sobulbous:

BTVA has more clout than you know. Their clout is epic and has no boundaries or borders. The swirls of meth smoke exhaled from their lungs are like the crystal ball of the darknet; it gives them amazing insight into the inner workings of every market.

Clearly us plebeians cannot fathom the depths of this information. That is why the BTVA does not unleash the fury all at once. For fear it will dismantle our neural pathways and with it, the community as a whole.

Instead they are long winded in their vagueness, allowing us the chance to put the puzzle together without all the pieces. The craziest part is that even with all this power, they cannot ship to the USA.


[18 Points] Vendor_BTVA_METHMETH:

We got a PROMISE, in the form of a private message, that no marketplace that we deal on would take our money! Justice must be had! The BTVA will be calling Tony Blair about this ASAP.


[9 Points] None:

I'm fucking crying


[10 Points] InfinitelyOutThere:

Pip pip cheerio matey


[7 Points] BTVA:

Ha ha. Too true!

You can never have too much meth. I haven't, because I fell asleep watching the Simpsons and just woke up.

I'm really, really sorry about your bitcoin, and to be the bearer of bad news. I'm sorry the ATVA hasn't advised you yet. And I'm sorry that computer geeks keep taking your money..

Its humiliating, isn't it? Our response is always to criticize the thieves, and people who did jack shit about it. But yours is a perfectly valid response too

There are probably quite a few people on this subreddit who like drugs. Its a victimless crime. I don't even think there can be a crime without a victim.

Where our morals seem to differ is on theft. That's a crime too far for us, but we're not criticizing any of you for not taking a stand, or for siding with computer programmers who steal from the users of their website. We're not trying to make you feel inadequate for your inaction.

Its down to your own personal morals whether you support the thieves, or us druggies. Maybe you share our sense of right and wrong, but you feel bad inside that you did absolutely nothing at all. Again. We feel bad that it always seems to be us. Is the American TVA is so large and unwieldy that they take a day longer to advise their members? Or isn't there one?

2 of them can't get together and pool their collective market share and customer base to effect change? Why should marketplaces like Evo and Agora negotiate with individual vendors? We found that before we got together they wanted us to pay "Vendor Fees", like they were doing US a favor! Letting us bring our customers to their website. A vendor fee is supposed to be like a returnable deposit, but they never return them in our experience.

I don't think there are any vendors on here criticizing us , because they wouldn't be vendors if they hadn't grown a pair. We're not trying to force you to stop being robbed by anonymous computer geeks. Some of you have genuinely chosen the thieves side, but I think some of you just feel bad because this is the 4th or 5th time its happenned to you, and you feel like you aught to do SOMETHING.

We've been around on Reddit long enough to know that nobody is going to say "thanks".Just because Evo's a British website, we're not responsible for it any more than american vendors are responsible for Silk Road 2.0.

Nor are we responsible for your vendors, how they collectively organize, negotiate with computer geeks, or who they allow to rob them. The answers are probably "they don't", "they don't" and "anybody".

They seem very different from us, and you're clearly in love with their way of doing things. We've got "British" in our title because we don't represent you, and we can't negotiate on your behalf. If two large vendors get together, it snowballs. At first, you don't even know what your purpose is.

If the 6 largest US vendors messaged each other, one of them could ask agora why escrows don't empty into their own offsite wallet, instead of Agora "looking after" their takings for them. I feel uncomfortable suggesting this, because americans don't like Brits telling them what to do, or doing things without telling them.

That's Simon Cowell's and Churchill's faults.

Does anybody object if we don't keep letting people help themselves to our takings? Ive still got to do my job,, even if it makes you feel bad about yourselves. 37 BTC is a lot of money to a vendor from a small markeplace like ours..

You do what you like. On Reddit, that usually means "nothing", and "criticize anyone who does"

We are all reasonable men, are we not? So I'm going to hang around here for a while. We've done all the limited things in our power, and we've been in this situation enough times to not get stressed, and I've talked enough.

Now its your turn. Tell me what you did today to make things better. I don't think we did very much at all considering the millions we all lose when a marketplace goes tits up.

fire away,,,,,,,,


[6 Points] tenderwingz:

Lost it at "at least three times per post". Gr8 b8 m8


[7 Points] None:

[deleted]


[3 Points] None:

I feel like all three members of the BTVA are Hiniguel from Silk Road 2 pulling a Coachella on one of the most extreme stimulant binges in world history: meow meow, bing, charlie, whatever...

Take a nap guys.


[2 Points] None:

shhhhh.... do you hear that? Did you HEAR THAT right now? OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THAT!?!

"OH GOD, wait, that's my heart. oh man thats loud.

https://youtu.be/HJJAuzBfrOI


[2 Points] throwawayasdfabc:

lmao


[2 Points] mad87645:

u fookin wot m8? il hook ya rite in da gabba


[2 Points] Oldwisewoman:

And like wait, why is the British Tor Venders Association suddenly calling the shots and shit around here? Last I heard they were stirring up drama during one of the multiple fake SR2 hacks, when in reality they're all just tweakers who used to hang with St.Exo and get high, an convince themselves they were an actual organized crime outfit. Too funny.


[2 Points] None:

Well shit. I will be the first to say. YOU were correct.


[2 Points] opshouldanhero:

lol this is the funniest shit I've seen all week


[2 Points] None:

you gotta put a banging donk on it


[1 Points] SecondChanceUsername:

"properly punctuated" lmao What does the BTVA of your living room have to say about the Evo thing?


[0 Points] handsthestrangler:

this is strangler from lizard squad. do i need to shut this party down, or open the doors. As I curtsy to the left.