[GeneralQuestions]Have any of you gotten addicted to something solely through the deepweb? If so, tell about it.

I'm only asking because I sure have. Before this all I could get was weed and meth (I lived in a town of methlabs) but I never fucked around with the meth because that's bad right? When I found out about the dark markets I instantly had access to anything and I mean anything I wanted. Found my love for ketamine, too bad it's too expensive now. Found my love for beautiful dank from Cali/Colo. Could finally get real mdma at great prices, finally able to try 2c-b, finally able to do GHB. I literally wanted to try every single drug that there was(as long as it isn't too toxic) and I did in a way. It made me realize that with every drug at your fingtertips you're bound to find your DOC.

Oh I sure did find my DOC. Heroin, H, Diesel, Fire. Raw, that sweet sweet china. I just couldn't help my self with the stuff, opiates are fuckin' evil and I mean that. It'll take everything you care about until you only care for it. Of course it happened to me, thought I could be a chipper but not many can stay chipping. I haven't talked to the little brother I LIVE WITH in 2 years. Not one word. Why? Because I'm ashamed of what I become because of opiates. I'm at a point where I'm hoping my next fix kills me. I mean that.

Getting addicted like this is the absolute fucking worst. I have no real life connects to see if I need a quick fix. No, I have to wait for the 2 day priority shipping that has taken a week while in withdrawal. Withdrawal makes me go crazy, I've cut up my arm so bad it looks like a tattoo sleeve. Only because it made me feel a little bit better, because I was feeling something other than the withdrawals. 3 psych ward trips later I still can't do anything about it. For one I live in a state where heroin pretty much exists no where unless you have some really good mexican friends with tar. So now you're chained to two things, the Deep Web and Heroin. Plus we have no methadone or suboxone clinics around. We only have rehab centers where they lock you in a room for days while you detox. Everyone who goes in there comes back out wanting a fix more.

I'm not saying that the Dark Net Markets are bad, they're amazing. I'm just trying to say be careful what you try. Please don't get hooked on anything, especially through these markets. I know dealing with real life dealers is dangerous and everything but I'd say it's better to have someone you can call anytime and get it anytime if you are going to start an addiction. I mean that shit.

Sorry if this is too boring or long for you but eh I'm bored and waiting on the mail.(Plus I'm on 300mg vyvanse hehe) But seriously atleast don't end up like someone like me. Right now I order Fent HCL powder from Canada at some amazing prices. Thing is with Fent, euphoria is gone after the first 3 tries. You just feel okay or if you're lucky you catch a nod. I shoot ONE MILLIGRAM of fentanyl now to feel well. Sometimes I even shoot 2 or 3 milligrams at once to maybe catch a nod. Tolerance builds up so fast with this stuff because you have to do it every hour. Gets your tolerance so high no other opiate does it anymore. I shot 750mg of Cali's gray dope she had a couple months ago and nothing. No rush. Just a small sense of feeling better than you did before. That's sad. That was a 160-170$ shot and I got nothing from it. All thanks to fentanyl. This was just a warning to you opiate addicts reading that you should stay the fuck away from it. Fentanyl makes being an addict 10x worse. Only plus we have is that the withdrawals aren't as long.

So that's a bit of my story, didn't know I'd type so much. Guess I needed to let it out. I welcome anyone else to tell their stories because I feel for each and every one of them.

EDIT: Definitely did not expect this thread to get as popular as it did. I'm obviously not alone here as I can tell now after reading through all the comments. I want to wish good luck to you all and I hope that things will get better for you in the future. Also want to say thank you for all the supportive comments as it does mean a lot to me. I've decided to stear clear of the fentanyl now as I've just ordered around 200mg of Xanax powder to make a PG solution with. Plan to try and get off all opiates with my best friend with the Xanax to help a bit. Also have a good supply of lyrica, gabapentin, kratom, lope, MXE, ambien, and seroquel to fight the worst parts and maybe sleep through a lot of it. Gonna make edibles too because why not? I also have vyvanse to help with cravings after the detox, stimulants have always tamed my opiate cravings a bit. Wish me luck guys...


Comments


[49 Points] Major_Trippy:

Hey man I know how you feel, your story is just like mine except I think I caught it just in time. I currently live somewhere where I have no real life hookups for any drug whatsoever so I decided to turn to the darknet. At first I was just ordering weed and benzos on occassion until during a visit to my home town my friends introduced me to roxi's. I instantly fell in love with the whole opiate high and found myself ordering these $30 pills off the darknet......literally throwing hundreds of dollars away for a couple nights of enjoyment.

After that is was inevitable that I soon started looking for cheaper opiates until I finally found my way to H. I promised myself I was just gonna use it for when I was really stressed and couldnt sleep (I have terrible insomnia), but we all know it doesn't work like that. Pretty soon I was ordering grams of dope from the darknet and using throughout the day and night. Thankfully I only ever snorted it and never let myself get ahold of a needle because that is when you really start to spiral.

Fast forward and this constant use had continued for 7 or 8 months with few if any breaks. Just like you when I was forced to wait on a late package, I had to deal with being dopesick. I think it was a combination of wanting the drug so badly and being terrified of the dopesickness that would follow if I didn't get it that kept me on it for that period of time. I am not pretending to be a hardcore, longterm addict because I know people can struggle with this substance for years and years so I am not trying to pretend to be someone that I am not. All I can say is that I saw the pain it caused and money it sucked up and I knew I had to do something before I was in so deep that the H took over. I ordered a couple suboxone off the darknet and used the gear I had to start an intense taper. Over about a week I decreased my dose every day until by the end I was literally taking the tiniest bump in the morning and late at night if I felt terrible.

Then I faced the awful WD's which weren't as bad as I remembered thanks to the taper, but I was able to make it about 2.5 days before I cut the first sub strip in half and used that. The last thing I wanted was to be put on sub for months and then face the WD's from that as well so I rationed the few 8/2 sublingual sub strips I had and used them to make it through the next few days. Right now I am about 6.5 days without anything and while I am still dealing with PAWS, it beats the hell out of organizing my life around a bag of powder. I was lucky, I didn't get too far addicted for too long and I was able to fight my way out before the H dragged me to a place where I would have felt hopeless.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my story since you shared yours, I wish you good luck man and believe you can beat this. As long as there is some part of you that wants to fight, then hope is never lost

"I'm at a point where I'm hoping my next fix kills me. I mean that." ---- Don't give up, there is always a way out of your addiction without hoping for death......it may not be super apparent, and it definitely won't be easy, but is anything worth fighting for as hard as life and some happiness. I know you feel alone right now, but you're not. Please let me know if you want to talk more in private, it sounds like we have dealt with a lot of the same problems.


[37 Points] throwawayreviewer69:

This might sound like a joke but Im addicted to buying drugs off the DNMs. I think some is the thrill, the rest is being able to do drugs I havent been able to in years at better purity and lower prices.


[24 Points] ananoninan:

My advice is don't buy harder drugs you never had before on DNM. Don't order anything while you're high. Don't develop an unhealthy habit with any drug. And most of all never, ever buy heroin.


[16 Points] None:

As some of the readers here already know, I too am heavily dependant on fentanyl hcl. It is the crack of opiates, I will dose every few hours if i order lots at once. I now have trained myself to only use at night, 3 shots max. I am fortunate to be on a high dose of methadone, so when I do have to take a break it is not too bad. 1mg shots are a thing of the past, sadly I am up to 7mg+ at once. BUT there have been many times I stopped for weeks at a time, however it's always on my mind. That's the hardest part: learning to forget about your access to your DOC. I don't blame the DNMs, I blame my weak, sad self. Hugs We'll be okay.


[14 Points] None:

Nope, got addicted to oxy because of my doctor. Best time of my life tbh that turned into the worst time of my life.


[16 Points] HulkVsMeth:

I got addicted to H 2 years ago and I fight the urge to buy dope everyday. I started buy just reselling and then I figured why not try it since buds wernt enough.... It got to the point where I was skinny not eating, I have 4 little brothers and it broke me when I saw my little brother call my mom and say I need help when he is only 12 :(. He is way to young to know what dope looks like or even should know what that kind of life style looks like. I'm telling you right now man dope is not worth losing the realationship with your brother. My parents pretty much look at me like I'm some monster but my brothers have always stuck by me. I almost OD once an my brother picked me up on his shoulders and threw me in the car between my none stop sweating and throwing up on myself and was going 100mph to the hospital crying :(. Your brother loves you man think of him :( shit... Now I'm in tears. I stopped using 2 months ago and it's very hard but what would you rather have your brother or dope? I think if you like the nodding feelin like me I just do Xanax and dabs. You will never have another brother remember that... What if you saw him stick a needle in his arm?


[14 Points] jtronicustard:

Had bouts of 2-fma addiction, binges. Cost me almost everything I'd worked for, but eventually I saw the light and stopped taking that shit. Flushed it and never looked back.

2-fma is the worst because it's a utilitarian drug without much euphoria. Tricked myself into thinking I could be wired and still function as a professional in a professional environment. Mood swings, lashing out for no reason, and generally making an ass of myself became the norm. Relapsed once on meth a while back and that pretty much was the last time I'll ever do that shit. Just ain't fun anymore.

Now I just smoke the herb on occasion... and that's it. I also got hooked on opiates in middle school (20ish years ago), but kicked that cold turkey. Not easy, but I'll never touch that shit again either.

TLDR: Just stick to weed. Your future self will thank you.


[14 Points] FakeNameISwear:

My SO had a pretty serious heroin problem in the past... when we started ordering, it was on my list of things to try.

Without giving away too many details, we have a life where I've seen her stare at death and not flinch. The look on her face when I said I wanted to try H was absolute, unadulterated fear. It's the only thing I've really steered clear of... and I get more grateful for that daily. Hopefully you get things to a better place, whatever that means for you.


[12 Points] oroszorszag:

Welcome to the 21st century gentlemen.


[10 Points] steliokun:

heroin for me too bud. couldn't get it in real life but was always quietly curious about it. first day on the dnm i ordered some weed and some uk domestic H which i got next day. tried it, didn't see what all the fuss was about, so decided to try it again since apparently it was so amazing...

atm my life is a bit of a mess. i'm literally the other day only after coming clean to people. i'm lucky that my mum is being supportive and i've been referred to a community addiction team to get on methadone. but that could take weeks idk. i gave my mum my bank cards so i can't buy anymore but i had some cash left. doc gave me sick line for work on day i came clean, so what did i do today? a cash deposit to local bitcoin for a few grams of heroin... idk, serious... hoping i can get on the methadone quick and this will be kinda like a farewell for a long time...

anyway good luck to you


[7 Points] Jnew777:

Thank Christ I'm mostly just into mescaline, mushrooms, LSD, and MDMA once a year or so. Only need the dnm for LSD and MDMA. Seen too many horror stories with h and crack, just heard awful things about meth. Decided long ago to steer clear of all three

Good luck man


[4 Points] Silencer123:

I don't know if it's actually possible to get addicted to LSD but I sure as hell found reality with it. I've done it every two weeks for a year straight year so for the last 3 months my trips last about 5 hours and there is no fucking magic whatsoever. So here I am on week one of a two and a half month abstinence run to recapture the magic that got me so enamored with it in the first place. Shit changed my perception on life for the good and made me a better person. Anyways two and a half months will bring me to July 4th. Hell ya! Fireworks bursting in the sky and getting the magic back! I can't wait (Obviously I can't wait I should have done this three months ago!) But it's not easy to wait when you have a supply like the one I have. But I've given my brother my supply so I can't reach it until Independence Day - so the 4th it is!


[4 Points] DancingWindAway:

Bailey Jay.


[3 Points] ShulginsCat:

Question to everyone reading this thread: why (the fuck) did you even try heroin in the first place, knowing it's one of the most dangerous drugs out there?


[5 Points] BurningAlmonds:

Sorry to hear about your downwards spiral. I hope you end up reaching a better place.


[4 Points] PurpleBeamz:

It's all about self control my friend. I saw myself experiencing with lots of psychedelics & I didn't like the person I was becoming. So I just put a stop on it. Now I'll occasionally do some MDMA at music festival but mainly just good old Mary Jane! At least I don't have to worry about smoking myself to death lol. But then again meth or H would be a lot harder to quit once you're hooked : /


[4 Points] IEatAnyAss:

Fuck this shit I'm sticking to weed. I have enough problems from weed withdrawal.

If I do harder drugs, I know I'll stay addicted and die. Same shit happened to my parents.


[4 Points] thrownaway_yet_again:

Holy shit, I identify with your story. Only, I'm not in as deep as you are. (Genuinely sorry to hear how big the monkey on your back is). I can't get H locally, or if I can, I'm just not streetwise enough to do it, but was always curious about it. I did get addicted years ago to poppy pods when you could order them off ebay. Things got bad after a few years, I went through horrible wd's. But I gave them up somehow.

Later on, I discovered the DNM's. Like you, I wanted to try everything. I also wanted some antianxiety meds, but they're too expensive on the DNMs. I figured I'd get one gram of H just to compare it to the pods I once loved, then move on with experimentation - I wanted to mainly to try hallucinogens, just experience and try to "expand my mind." But that got sidelined, then forgotten after I got the H. To be honest, it wasn't actually much better than the pods. But I still found myself wanting more. "Another hit won't make that much difference, right? I'll feel really good and get some shit done! Yeah, that's a great idea." Or so I told myself.

Another post in this thread by /u/chewythesheep mentioned opiates killing all pain, not just physical, and that's absolutely right. I've got anxiety probs but opiates just make everything ok. Everything in the world feels alright even if you know logically it's not. So it seems like such a great tool at first - you can do things on opiates you couldn't do otherwise. But then you stop doing anything at all because the opiates are all that matters. At first it's like "ok, I can do this scary thing I was afraid to do because everything is fine!" but before long it turns into "why do anything that ever seemed scary when you're fine just doing nothing but loving the opiate glow?"

So yeah, I got hooked on H through DNMs. And since I'm pretty sure I got scammed recently, and ran out of money with no way to get more for a while, short of stealing (which I will never do), I've just gone through heavy wd again. I'm still hurting, but it's on the downslope.

At least this time I've got some loperamide (Imodium) to ease the wd a bit. If it turns out I wasn't scammed and my order actually shows up someday, I think I might just throw it away. I hope I have the courage to do that, because fuck, I do NOT want to go through this again, and I don't want to get as deep in the hole as you are with fent (again, you truly have my sympathy about that). The next time you go through withdrawal because an order isn't on time or whatever, or better yet, if you find the strength to quit, I would highly recommend loperamide, it's fucking OTC. You'll need some pretty fuckin' huge doses of it to even help ease the wd's you have with that much fent, but at least you can go down to your local drug store and stock up on as much as you want - no waiting. It's an opiate, but it doesn't pass the blood-brain barrier, so you can't get high off it, but it will help quite a bit with the physical symptoms, especially the runs. You may already know all this, I'm just throwing it out there. Kratom also helps a lot with wd's, but for me, that's something else I have to order and wait for.

Lastly, I will say I know fentanyl, too. Only I just smoked it from one duragesic patch, so I didn't have enough to get hooked. This was back in the pod days. But it was pure, straight from the pharmacy. It's one of the great ironies of the drug war that THAT is legal to give to people, even if it's mostly reserved for severe chronic pain or terminal patients, but H is supposedly so bad, it has "no medical use." Fentanyl is so much stronger and so much more dangerous. The short half life on that shit is a huge part of what fucks your tolerance because you need to keep redosing all the time to maintain a high, then just to keep from getting sick within a few hours. I didn't have enough for the latter part to kick in for me.

Anyway, good luck. I'd recommend checking out /r/OpiatesRecovery if you want some motivation to quit, if you're looking for help with wd's, or if you just want some good people who know what you're going through to talk to, even if you have no intention of quitting. And no, it's not 12 step shit (they do mention NA a lot, but there are plenty there who are anti-12 step as well). Just know you're not alone in what you're going through. I know I may not be in quite as deep, but I know how much opiates can completely fuck up your life. For stories about some who had/have higher tolerance and worse situations than you, go to the sub I mentioned. Again, good luck.


[3 Points] MarkMerrill1102:

I was addicted to opiates, again mostly heroin, thanks to the darknet. It's far cheaper than what I can find around here.


[3 Points] justtotrowaway:

Hey man, thanks for posting. No, I haven't got addicted solely through deepweb. I have my DOC and I've decided not to experiment beyond that because I know it would end in the exact same way you describe. I am already worried about being addicted to my DOC, and having easy access and home delivery is only making that more of a concern. But I am not not going to dabble in new drugs just because I can, especially not after reading your post and other peoples replies. The temptation is there but I don't want to turn what is currently a problem with self control and discipline into a full blown physical addiction.


[3 Points] None:

I had 2 days of oxy and i will never touch a opiate again, sickness, nausea, weird dreams, lightheaded, falling into day sleep, very shallow breathing, and i felt fucking awful, only 20mg 3 times a day for 2 days, it was hell, then they were still in me for a few days after, feeling like shit, NEVER again, fuck opiates, fuck oxycodone fuck them all, and fuck drugs (besides medical cannabis and steroids that is).

I keep getting the oxys prescribed, so fuck it i will sell them. If anyones buying opiates for the first time be careful, maybe a couple of days use and experience the shit then don't go back to them again, stay off them. You won't get addicted to opiates after a couple of days but you sure as hell will not forget the awful zombie feeling, sick and spewing up even drinking water, i threw up clean fucking water!! It relieved my pain big time yes, but, then again, so does exercise to some extent and yoga style stretching and i prefer to live with some pain than be totally zonked out in oblivion.


[3 Points] AcctNo:

Heroin, but not from the DNM. On the street.

Crack on the DN. Meth binges.


[3 Points] UDNM:

Hey man, I know how you feel. Remember, you can beat this and honestly you have to start by recognizing that it's all on you. The markets would actually make it more difficult to develop an opiate dependence than if you were buying irl. Like you said availability is an issue and you weren't pressured into anything, you made the decision to use all on your own.

I know that sounds a bit harsh, but it comes from a good place. It's all you, you did this to yourself and you can change it. You're in control, you always have been. I know it doesn't seem like that now but you have all the power.

I haven't talked to the little brother I LIVE WITH in 2 years. Not one word. Why? Because I'm ashamed of what I become because of opiates. I'm at a point where I'm hoping my next fix kills me. I mean that.

Use that shame, you don't really want to die, do you? Not like this. You don't want to end things how they are now do you? I know for me that would be worse than death. If the shame is all you have, use it to keep yourself alive. Never forget how many people have been through what you're going through. It does not make you a bad person, you are suffering from a disease that is eating you away from the inside. Opiates did this to you, they do the same thing to everyone they get a grip on. It doesn't change who you are and it doesn't make you any less than anybody else. Everyone has their own demons, you deserve love and support. You are not a bad person, you are a suffering addict and you need help.

I can't stress enough how important it is to get off the fentanyl. If you keep using fentanyl it will kill you. You will OD and you will die, fentanyl is so dangerous.

It looks like your tolerance is so high atm that withdrawing probably isn't really an option. Please consider switching the fentanyl for a different opiate, even if it means being uncomfortable for a while. You need to try and lower your tolerance, the last thing you want to do when you're in a hole is keep digging. If you keep this up you will die. Fentanyl is so much worse than heroin.

We only have rehab centers where they lock you in a room for days while you detox.

Do it. Here's a tip I've found really helpful for withdrawing from anything. Don't kid yourself, don't lie to yourself, don't try to comfort yourself and most importantly don't try to convince yourself that it won't be so bad. When you decide to withdraw be honest with yourself. It's best to expect the worst, then nothing will surprise you. You need to be motivated, try and see the withdrawal as a purge, your body is healing itself. Enter into it knowing that you are entering hell, you are going to suffer through unimaginable horror. It's not something to be scared of because you are going to win, never forget that, you can't loose. Face it head on, it's a challenge and you have the upper hand. You can make it your bitch, you are going to stop using. The withdrawals are trying to beat you. Tell them to try their hardest, you can take it, you are strong and it will not break you. It's not going to be easy. It's a fight for survival, play to win.


[3 Points] rappercake:

Etizolam.


[3 Points] OnAcidButUrThedum1:

The darknet keeps me from not being addicted.

I buy my drugs of choice occasionally because I enjoy them and I find that moderation is key to keeping balance in my life. The process of the markets makes purchasing so much different in my mind. Without having connects IRL, (at least connects that I would actually purchase from...people here are shit) it takes away having drugs readily available. I have to wait a few days and then ration the amount.

It's worked very well for me so far.


[2 Points] Pizzdog:

Banging fent bro? you cray


[2 Points] None:

I have had several additions. Down to weed. My suggestions is order some acid and take 2 hits and really think about it.

http://www.nature.com/news/lsd-helps-to-treat-alcoholism-1.10200


[2 Points] ananoninan:

The worst I've had to deal with after taking something is anxiety and panic attacks. I thought that was bad enough and it made me question my drug taking. I can't imagine going through serious opiate withdrawal, the thought of it alone is enough to keep me from ever going there. What made you and these other users cross that line? I'm not preaching. I'm just asking a genuine question.


[2 Points] mescalido:

Ordering food and drugs thru internet is simply amazing.


[2 Points] Febbraio2468:

I was kinda hooked on MXE but it got so hard to find quality MXE without the drama and low prices I quit.


[2 Points] None:

[deleted]


[2 Points] itsMyWifeitsMyLife:

I know this will come across sounding like a dick, so whatever. This is such an ironic 'technology' junkie story, like when billionaires get knocked down to millionaires and complain about it ya know? The very idea of a heroin junkie/dopehead going through life doing some dirty dirty things to/with/for other people to score a fix. Never having the money for more than a shot at a time and shit. Just all that stereotypical stuff. I guess there's two sides of each coin but "No, I have to wait for the 2 day priority shipping that has taken a week while in withdrawal. Withdrawal makes me go crazy, I've cut up my arm so bad it looks like a tattoo sleeve. Only because it made me feel a little bit better, because I was feeling something other than the withdrawals. "

Like what the fuck is that shit man.... You've got problems WAY different from the addiction. The addiction is just on top because it's visual, it's easy to be real where the mental shit is not so 'clear cut'

It costs a ton of money to have that heavy of an addiction on the DNMs, though I guess if you're just using fentanyl maybe not a TON, but for dope....not feasible unless you're very well off financially, in which case I highly suggest getting the mental help you need, admitting you need it and fully see it through. You can go to some fancy rehab for mind and body, keep looking for the robin williams to your matt damon....

Sorry for being a dick, calling it as I see it because I'm no different. Except the huge tolerance because I can't afford the ability currently for the last few months so it's dropped down a bit. Still consistent and WD if there is none...but much better.

Seriously though, if you want to change at all, do it. Otherwise it's so cliche to hear ohh my next will be my last! I hope so.....blah blah blah.

It's not you're fault..(maybe)

Good luck.


[2 Points] Prozac20mg:

Yep. Sticking to coke.....


[2 Points] DollarStoreClassy:

While still in High school, when I was ordering large quantities of any and all drugs to my house multiple times a month, from junior year to graduation, I became a poly drug addict in that I wanted to be high on something all the time.

If i wasn't dabbed or smoked out of my skull, I was trying coke, H, or doing Ketamine on a school night. I ordered 2 grams of amphetamine paste and that became a hell. Ordered over 500mg of Xanax powder and slowly but surely got at least 4 people, including myself, in my friend group addicted to it for a while. Was addicted to psychedelics since I could acquire literally any I wanted, addicted in the sense I was tripping once a week at the age of 16/17 for 2+ months at a time. Inbetween those trips is when I would be doing ketamine, heroin, coke, amphetamine, xanax, adderall, vyvanse, ect..


[2 Points] Thulleturntup:

Hey man i am pulling for you to get through this. I was addicted to benzos back in the SR1 days and i finally quit and got my life together, that monkey on my back it got lighter as time went on, it is a daily process but you can definitely do it.


[1 Points] None:

[removed]


[1 Points] None:

[removed]


[1 Points] NashHarvey:

I ordered a stamp of EC #4 or something last week. Pretty sure it's in my PO box. I've done plenty of opiates in my school days, snorted/smoked roxy 30s. The thing is, I could never find myself wanting to keep doing it because in the back of my mind I was constantly thinking about the addiction.

If you consider yourself addicted to opiates, did you think about the risk of addiction and what it could do to you before you took your first hit/pill? That is a serious question. I always think about what could happen with me before I try a new drug that has potential to be addictive.

I can also say I've done coke for months at a time. If not everyday, it'd be every other day. I considered myself hooked while I was doing it for the period. When it came to the point where I'd have no access to it, not once did I experience withdrawals like it's described. I would find myself thinking about it everyday, but knowing that I can't have it made me feel better somehow. That was years ago in high school, but now that I have somewhat spending money, I bought myself a gram and been sharing and snorting for 3 days. Still not craving it, but I do love it!!


[1 Points] sillysally11:

Your story made me sad, you should really get on methadone man, it takes away all of the craziness of being addicted to dope. You can just get your 5$ drink, and be totally normal. Please look into it.

Edit: I'm a shithead for messaging before reading the whole post. There has to be methadone somewhere, even if it were a 1.5hr drive, it'd be better than what you're going through.


[1 Points] SecondChanceUsername:

Without DNM i probably would've never even tried H. Maybe a few times throughout months or years. But after first trying DN H, then again and again, then trying RL H, I've noticed prices and quality are both about equal. And the chance that my pack arrives (on time) before my last batch is out, is aboutt the same likliness that a RL dealer will reliably come thru when I'm down and out.

And I've recently begun withdrawals (heavenly ever experienced benzo w/d before now). I have enough to buy more product but IRL has dried up and DNM is expensive and even priority takes 10+ days sometimes. DOES ANY ONE KNOW A H VENDOR WHO DOES OVERNIGHT EXPRESS? btw??

IDK whether to wean myself off NOW, or quit cold turkey, or just give up because it'll controll me till i die(which honestly I'm think id be fine with because even without the addictions idc bout life too much)...Opiate w/d and addiction is hell and IMO worse than benzo(which I've been thru) despite that most of my friends say benzo is worse. Maybe it just depends on the person and the DOC.


[1 Points] cabbagebag:

Not addicted but got waaaaaaay too into LSD to the point where it became a massive problem. No self control at all. None.


[1 Points] assnapken:

I wouldn't say addicted but damn I love me some clonotrils from the grandwizard. I'm just an occasional benzo user but damnit if I didn't find a new favorite one. They have good euphoria without the xanax blackout atleast for me.


[1 Points] no_homo_though:

I diluted some fentanyl and used to get a syringe with an atomizer and get high that way.

Worst hell EVER! Got to the point where even the squirts weren't enough to keep up and had withdraws while ON THE FUCKING DRUG!

Stay away from fentanyl......


[1 Points] alexdahbomb:

Ahh, opiates...they enslave you until you either die, go to prison, or rehab. I've been using opanas for about 2 years on the street (which are crazy EXPENSIVE!) and then found the deepwebs, and then like you, i tried H...just got my 4th order of H though so im not too far into it, but it seems like im trapped when i try to quit and get 2 week long withdrawals...i feel you man. The best thing you can do, is turn yourself in to a rehab facility and bring like 10 xanax bars with you. i stayed on xanax the first 4 days i tried to quit, then i gave in..again... It leaves you feeling so trapped man. This really hits home and im glad you let it out, it warns other people (who don't listen like i didn't) and it does make it feel a little bit better. Do yourself and your family a favor, find a rehab that takes your insurance and dont look back. the only thing that could bring you back afterwards is the high, the withdrawals wont keep you trapped like it usually feels. thanks man, hope you get better, and hope i do to.


[1 Points] mattmcr:

Hey man, have you ever tried kratom or lopermide to help with withdrawal so you can kick? I know the hell of opiate addiction and it is a special kind of hell.


[1 Points] __Just_a_basic_Ho__:

Man quit while you're ahead. IE not in jail or dead. I've battled my way back from that shit a couple times in my life and while the high is the fucking best it destroys everything good . I watched my entire area I live fall to pieces because of it. - I feel you on the DNM addiction. Hard not to use if you live in an area where LSD, MDMA, decent bud, wax. ect... are all impossible to find.


[1 Points] None:

Yeah, I'd say I was addicted to MXE. I felt the same, wanted to try everything and I defiantly was getting close to trying it all. I ordered MXE while high, hadn't ever tried a dissociative before and after reading about it sober didn't think I'd even like it. When it arrived I fell in love, it was like no other drug had ever understood me better. Eventually I was getting high all day everyday, it wasn't the physical addiction that had me hooked it was a psychological one. I thought I wasn't addicted, I thought I could stop anytime, I took 1 day breaks between week long binges so I could prove to myself I could go a day without it, I did cave sometimes but convinced myself it was my choice to cave in. I craving that shit 24/7. It all ended when I lost a package, I ran out of MXE and was too scared to order more to a potentially burned address. I still crave it months later and often think about taking trips overseas to go on a drug holiday. As dumb as it all may sound it took me weeks of abstinence to realize how MXE convinced me I needed it.


[1 Points] JustAJunkie:

I got addicted to opiates, mainly heroin.

I had experience with codeine & tramadol but decided I'd step things up and began using oxy & heroin.

I placed an order for 0.25g uncut heroin and an 80mg oxy OC the night before SR1 was seized....

When I saw that the site had been seized I drained my bank accounts and booked a one way ticket to South East Asia, where I lived for 6 months shooting near-pure heroin at only $25/gram. Codeine, tramadol and valium were also available OTC, so if I couldn't score I'd always have these to fall back on to make withdrawals somewhat easier.

It's been almost two years now. I've been to rehab twice for opiates and benzos. I'm on 16mg of suboxone per day (down from 32mg/day) but I still regularly shop on DNMs for heroin and benzos.


[1 Points] None:

I cant realy talk shit on opiate heads cuz im super addicted to k but i will say this: ive been addicted to pills b4 and hated it cuz of the withdrawls with ketamine theres no withdrawls its great because i can quit for a few days here and there. Switch to ketamine bro your body will thank you.


[1 Points] Silencer123:

Powdered Xanax. If someone tells you, you can overdose call bullshit. I was so fucking addicted to the shit I was taking 100mg shots of it about 5 to 8 times daily. It would take me at least 300mg just to get to sleep. This is no bullshit. Xanax tolerance builds up quick. You know the saying, "don't get high on your own supply" - well that saying was meant for me. I had obviously done xanax before I started getting Kilo's sent to me but no more than maybe 10mg at a time. Anyways 3 seizures and a broken jaw from having a seizure and landing straight on my chin while walking down the sidewalk I am now xanax free - it only took 18 fucking months of tapering yet I still got the good fortune of seizures, chills, anxiety attacks daily and all the other fun shit. Life lesson - don't get high on your own supply... I made enough money to live off for the rest of my life and I left the game before I got too greedy. If I had just been smart about trying the powder out I would be a fucking pimp. Well now I'm a fucking ex-drug addict pimp ;)


[1 Points] ramjambamalam:

x-posted to r/opiates.


[1 Points] TotesMessenger:

This thread has been linked to from another place on reddit.

If you follow any of the above links, respect the rules of reddit and don't vote. (Info / Contact)


[1 Points] _orion:

Look into vivitrol, how I got clean. It's not exactly advertised but certain doctors will do it. Has a high success rate


[1 Points] AllJoociedUP:

Of all the DN goodies that are available to me I wont/haven't ever wondered into the opiate section.

If addiction is a dominant phenotype then I am no doubt homozygous dominant in the genotype.

Because of this and DNM I have expressed those genes over coke, benzo, amph, but knowing this I have managed (surprisingly) to steer clear of the opiates. Besides maybe Norco every so whenever. Have gone through withdrawals several times over, and having seen mates kick smack the only way to do it honestly is to have a sitter (someone who knows your an addict, but still loves you, and is not an addict herself stay with you for the first 14 day of post 8hrs your last does. Some tips that i have seen help and that have helped me.

Don' t go out with bang. Plan it so you your not going to slam a fucking nod dose as you last one. Its only going to make the inital withdrawal harder. And dont give me that "I gotta take 2 or 3 to nod" if your still doing it to get high, your still an addict and if you kick this you'll find something else. For a week before you FINAL DOSE start to schedule your doses, rigidly. 9am, 1pm, 6pm, 10pm. SHARP! take your dose per day down about 1/6 every day. So your strating your day with 6mg @ 9am. The second day of the week should be 5.2mg. Your not going to get to 0 so dont try yet. Just get to a point where your not sick. ---AND BE SERIOUS WITH YOURSELF--- You know (or at least should) want to get off that #4 and the only way to do that is to make the withdrawal a contained and undramatic as possible.

Your last dose. Should be your 2nd daytime does. @6pm. I hate other substance in to the mix, but Bezno's really helped put a buddy out at night when I sat him through his withdrawal. Couldn't sleep without so he would dome a couple bars and KFO.

-- I've also noticed that the mind isbetter at working with something isf you never actually let it go. i know its hard to understand, but if you say "I'm never going to do it again" you mind reacts to that. But if you say to yourself. Instead try "I havent slammed all day today, and I feel super shitty. Well today is almost done and I can wait until tomorrow." Tell your self your taking a long break it helps you endure through knowing its going to be better tomorrow.


[1 Points] throwmeinatrashbin11:

Dude, I'm sad to read that. But since you seem to be in USA, I once met a guy that was on H for 8 years and was clean for 5 then. He managed to get clean in an alternative (clandestine, I think) rehab of which some exist in north America. The Therapy there is a bit preparation an then a trip with Iboga root. Never again he got craving and couldn't even smoking a cigarette. He was a really positive guy and noone ever would think he was on H once. Just wanted to share!

I myself was addicted to Amphetamins for a year. Lost girl, job fucked, live sucked, get addicted, lost job, lost money from sr1, tax and evil banks, get even more addicted, lost home, become schizoid, managed to get kind of clean and for now I have a home and a parttime job which i love. Riding bicycle saved me, by the way. Still dealing with anxiety and since childhood and bipolar disorder since youth. can't go to a doctor because I owe my health insurance way too much money and so I use benzos and cannabis mainly. I never thought stims can do well and usually being more of a chiller. Still my life is fucked but be happy to be back to life and fell alive again. This episode was not only a bad experience because looking to the world from so deep down once changed my perspective a little in the direction of feeling lucky by the small things I wouldn't even has noticed before.

People, stay with cannabis and you're save! That little schizophrenia some of you may got from it just is a joke compared to what you may get from the hard shit, lol


[1 Points] PIXEL_MACHT_FREI:

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[1 Points] bongosr:

I was thinking about this just the other day. The last few years have been a big clusterfuck for me.

Valium was my downfall. Like you said, I never had any access to much more than shitty MDMA or coke. The DNM opened the door to anything I wanted. I started shifting huge amounts of valium and slowly but surely I built up a crazy addiction that I was oblivious too.

In the process I've lost everything I hold dear to me. Friends, Family, Girlfriend, My House, Job, Money.... Everything.

Valium fuelled depression and some very strange behaviour. Ended getting arrested 3 times in 3 years and am currently on a curfew, awaiting a possible jail sentence. Of course this is all a very long story, but it all started when I discovered bitcoin and the DN.

I am the only one to blame here because I'm a fucking idiot. The amount of times I sat there and thought about buying a little bit of H or Meth. I feel like a dick just for thinking about it. Glad I never gave in, I would probably be in an even worse mess!


[1 Points] DrinkingAndFighting:

I've certainly developed a love of pharmaceutical stimulants from the DarkNetMarkets, but I have no idea if I'm addicted or not.

So I'll buy 30 10mg pills of ritalin, and take 5mg a day every day, just for that little bump it gives me.

While I have them, I feel as if I can't live without them, but as soon as I run out, I spend a few days feeling a little more tired than normal, and I forget about them.


[1 Points] None:

Your story makes me feel really sad. I wish you all the best and you will be in my thoughts in the coming days.


[1 Points] HunchCanoe:

I wish you all the best. I am 3 years off of heroin now after many, many years of being a terrible h addict. There's always a way to tear yourself out of that bullshit. I eventually got tired of the same old shit happening again, and again. It's not an easy thing, and I still deal with the thoughts, and I am STILL dealing with PAWS on occasion even three years later. Less and less frequently, thank god.

You have to want to end the cycle though, no one is going to pull you out of it but yourself, and I believe everyone is strong enough to do it. Don't let anyone tell you the "best" way to get clean, especially from AA/NA. I think they do a lot of good, they help a lot of people, and having a support system is fairly important. They're just too rigid in their ways, and it was a huge turn-off for me. As long as you're staying off the opiates, whatever way you do it is the best way.

Just wanted you to know you are not alone in this, there are millions and millions of people struggling with opiate addiction all around the world, and just as many people who have broken their addiction willing to extend a hand. You just have to want it and ask for help.

The human will can overcome nearly everything that can be thrown at it and bounce back. Human beings' capacity to overcome is downright amazing, and don't count yourself out of this group. Every human has the capacity to overcome.

Also, regarding your original question I thankfully was a junky before the DNMs and when they popped up and I became aware of them I was already on my way to fixing my bullshit, more or less, and I had my street connects. Classic/novel psychedelics and pot are my only vices these days, and very sparingly with the psyches.


[1 Points] Vendor_BBMC:

Its an anonymous environment where anybody can claim to be anything.

I've become addicted to spotting lies and inconsistency, and finding the truth.

Psychopaths have found a new home on the darknet. They think its a consequence-free environment because its dark. But we still have our ears.

Its actually easier to spot a wrong 'un on the darknet than almost anywhere, but humans are social animals who find communication and trade without all of our faculties stressful. Its something we have to learn. Psychopaths can imitate normal behavior, but they're at a severe disadvantage on the darknet without understanding why they can never win.


[1 Points] None:

So many opiate addiction stories, holy shit. This is why I'm "scared" to browse /r/opiates

To those who have overcome your struggle, you are awesome.

To those still struggling, you are awesome and good luck.


[1 Points] Iginis:

I am 100% sure that it is really inspiring for a lot of people with the same problem and even for me. I would love to hear how you are doing these days after three months. :)


[0 Points] OzFreelancer:

Does anyone else wonder at the timing of this thread, just when Ross' prosecution has said they are bringing in "witness impact" statements from six families of people who died from drugs bought from Silk Road?


[-1 Points] OldSchoolMethHead:

well....I guess just Meth from the DNM's but that's more of a love thing.?!

but thats not all folks, also need 8mgs of suboxone a day, an a gram or 2 of bud.

Gram a day to keep the doc away right? whatever keeps me sane an happy i,m fine wit.


[-1 Points] just-chippin:

thought I could be a chipper but not many can stay chipping

u wot


[-17 Points] None:

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