WHAT DO I DO WITH ALL THIS CASH?!

My question is really, does anyone on this sub know how to mitigate the pains of having pay stubs for say buying a car, or better yet depositing it at a bank?


Comments


[93 Points] flippingcoin:

Time to open a car wash...


[54 Points] None:

[deleted]


[21 Points] None:

Fuck financing cars. My friend of a friend just buys cheap ones and fixes em up with her drug money and theyre as good as new.


[20 Points] Hustlinsnow:

Craiglist > Cars & Trucks > For Sale By Owner


[20 Points] None:

Meth & midget hookers :-)


[13 Points] -SeedofChaos-:

If you have that much cash and don't know how to do it already you're probably gonna have a bad time. Hide some of the cash. Read a book.


[8 Points] clearly-enhanced:

Just buy a car with cash. No need to finance. Then your problem is solved


[7 Points] stiktalk:

Ask quantik.


[7 Points] None:

I'd try and buy a used one with cash

the thing about laundering/obfuscating money is that its massively easy to fuck up (unless you know what youre doing), and realistically unless you're a serious baller isn't really necessary.

also if shit goes sour, you can bet your ass anything with even the minute possibiilty of being bought with drug money is gonna get seized. can't seize boxes of cash/gold hidden somewhere only you know about


[6 Points] None:

It's unfortunate your question isn't what I thought it was reading the title. I was going to tell you that drugs aren't what matters in life and that you should travel with your money.


[4 Points] Underwater_Grilling:

post to craigslist as though you are a store and just never answer the emails. you now have an all cash business.


[6 Points] None:

[deleted]


[4 Points] Asdfzxcv101:

As long as you pay taxes for them they won't be on your ass. Uncle Sam just wants a piece of the action. (Casino> host an event at a night club and collect the cash at the front door and drinks> open up an llc that takes bitcoin and keep it at a small number that's easily taxable and traceable) these are examples of course.


[4 Points] Hank_Vendor:

here s what you do.

you become a "handyman" / "construction" / "DIY" own business.

YOu run ads in the paper. Every person who calls up for a quote you take their details and then you give them a stupid high quote, or tell them you are booked up until <insert date that is far too long for them to wait>

THen you draw up and invoice using their details and for whatever work they wanted done. You put that much money in a bank account you opened for your business.

Your accountant does your taxes. You claim back you nice new truck, all your diy tools and anything else until you are paying the amount of tax you want. Sell the tools on the side if you arent making a profit.

If you accountant is legit and your taxes are paid the chances of you getting audited are near zero.

if you have a business account and ads in a local paper the chances of getting shit from the cops go down considerably.


[3 Points] evil_olive23:

Buy more drugs so you don't have to finance the car.


[3 Points] None:

You could Become a waiter/waitress and start declaring extra cash as tips, go to a casino declare winnings, or buy the car on Craig's list for sale by owner.


[3 Points] Etneos:

Open a small business, get a LLC. Something that's a cash business, yard work, computer repair etc. Pablo Escobar had a very successful taxi company, now that's maybe not the best example but I could see something similar being successful.


[3 Points] 40oz_philosopher:

the first mistake that the vast majority make when they first start making money is they start buying shit. especially shit that costs money to maintain like cars and a house. Realize that sooner or later your gravy train will end. legal or illegal, the good times dont last forever and if youre not smart with your money you wont have it long.

the second mistake people make, especially in an illegal business is they dont pay taxes. you have a much higher chance getting caught by the irs for not paying taxes than you do by the cops / dea. If you run an illegal business, speak to an accountant, file a 1099 form with stated income and live within your means. dont tell the irs you make 25k a year and then go out and buy a 50k car, when you lie make your lie believable.


[3 Points] now_its_a_dick_joke:

This is such a stupid problem to have.

Buy gold doubloons and bury them. Like a pirate.


[2 Points] None:

If you want to buy anything over 5000 dollars you need to launder it. That means explaining the income in a legitimate manner and paying taxes


[2 Points] TrillPhil:

Ya it's called... go open a safety deposit box and put your cash in there.

If you actually have more than 100k. Open up a business that is low overhead, cash based. Declare your income, pay taxes. Or you know, just get a few safety deposit boxes. Maybe go buy a car from craigslist, since you have cash you can negotiate a better price anyways. And since you have cash you shouldn't care about possibly needing a new engine, and the person you buy it from will probably be glad to say you paid $1 for it, that way they can declare a loss on their taxes.


[2 Points] None:

Hide it in your mattress


[2 Points] CocoGr:

Are we talking 10k or 100k here? Does the money come all the time or is it a one time thing? If we're talking 10k or less, just use the money and pay everything in cash, then save your normal income(but don't completely stop using it though). If it's more a little above 10k , I would assume buying newer cars with stuff that has to be fixed is a viable option, pay someone to fix them and put in new parts, then resell for normal market price.


[2 Points] Tune-chi:

DO NOT DEPOSIT IT AT A BANK


[2 Points] None:

A mate and I have used this method when we use to deal.

  1. Grab a tax invoice book
  2. Think of an idea which doesn't need you to have phsical goods but people can still pay for the service. (We used guitar lessons $50 an hour)
  3. This when you need good friends or people to pay off to hold on tax invoices for there "lessons"
  4. I don't know how it works wherever you are but once we starting getting bigger we needed a business number so you will need one of those. Very easy to obtain where I am.
  5. When you go to the bank to deposit your cash it will seem clean and shouldn't raise any flags.
  6. If anyone starts coming after you, you can provide them with your clients name and tax invoices plus your clients will have their tax invoice.


[2 Points] broam:

would it be possible to say that you have a bot performing high freq trading with bitcoin amassing a good amount of money over time?


[1 Points] TheRealDealMarket:

bitgild -> webuygold -> bank

or just build a fort.


[1 Points] powerman15:

Just say you invested in bitcoins when they were sub $1 and held them for years. Don't even have to do any extra laundering leg work. Just pay capital gains tax.


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] BurbankJoe:

I bought a cark with 10K down and did not have to furnish any paperwork. Just fill out their forms and they verified my identity.


[1 Points] magiclampcompany:

burn cash, move to belize


[1 Points] None:

I'd buy some premium plugs


[1 Points] Molly-Cyrus:

Lesson2: Never underestimate the OTHER guys greed!


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] Fr0styXT:

If someone could point me in the direction of a good domestic forger id much appreciate it!


[1 Points] bimburtimbur:

the best way to clean all that cash is to start a cash based business.

Nail salons, Doughnut Shops

think of all the places that have signs that say cash only


[1 Points] now_its_a_dick_joke:

Buy vending machines.


[1 Points] YeOldeShoppe2:

Well, for something like buying a car, just tell them you are self-employed. They are going to want to see tax returns. Then you go to TurboTax or HR Block and use their software to prepare taxes to look like you make whatever you want your income to look like. Then print it as if you're going to mail it in. Then give it to the car dealer. You might want to change some dates around.

I think it's ridiculous how much documentation creditors ask for when it is so painfully easy to forge just about all of it. The only thing difficult to fake really is your credit score. But if you have more cash than you know what to do with, your credit is probably ok.


[1 Points] iAmSmokey:

I have left reddit for a reddit alternative due to years of admin mismanagement and preferential treatment for certain subreddits and users holding certain political and ideological views.

The situation has gotten especially worse since the appointment of Ellen Pao as CEO, culminating in the seemingly unjustified firings of several valuable employees and bans on hundreds of vibrant communities on completely trumped-up charges.

The resignation of Ellen Pao and the appointment of Steve Huffman as CEO, despite initial hopes, has continued the same trend.

As an act of protest, I have chosen to redact all the comments I've ever made on reddit, overwriting them with this message.

If you would like to do the same, install TamperMonkey for Chrome, GreaseMonkey for Firefox, NinjaKit for Safari, Violent Monkey for Opera, or AdGuard for Internet Explorer (in Advanced Mode), then add this GreaseMonkey script.

Finally, click on your username at the top right corner of reddit, click on the comments tab, and click on the new OVERWRITE button at the top of the page. You may need to scroll down to multiple comment pages if you have commented a lot.

After doing all of the above, you are welcome to join me on a reddit alternative!


[1 Points] Hank_Vendor:

Paying tax is the key.

Doesn't really matter what the hell business you use if you hire an accountant and pay tax.

Long as you wet the taxman's beak, hes cool


[1 Points] None:

Be careful not to open too many cash businesses. Spread it out over the years. Open an office if you're talking large amounts of cash.


[1 Points] Noodle_PoP:

can I have some?


[1 Points] GroovieonLSD:

Open a bank offshores, and move money from it to you US DBA account. Claim it as "International trading and enterprising."


[0 Points] Danjabis:

Casino.