Could We Please Have a Moratorium on Burning Your House, Belize, and Sand Jokes?

Come on, guys. Talk about beating a dead horse.


Comments


[26 Points] mxefan123:

My "I got robbed" short story

Be in back of car.

Pull into smoke-shop parking lot.

Walk up to the guys who were suppose to get an 8th off me for $45.

"Yo man, hand it to me, my boy over there has the money for you. Just do it this way so its not sketch."

DoILookDumb.jpg

"No, you two hop in this car, he can give you a ride real quick."

Get in car, slip child lock on without anyone noticing.

Two friend in front seat, two crack-head looking dude's + me in back seat.

"Can I look at that real quick? I wanna make sure its on point."

Dude tries to snatch and run out the car. I start laughing when he realizes door won't open.

"Dude your dumb as fuck, I knew what was up, give me my shit."

Instant pen knife to knee.

Friends look at me like "Dude, I'm too high, what the fuck's going on back there."

Be 17 squirting blood out my knee over friends back seat while 25+ year old crack heads try to beat me and find a way out of a child locked car, at the same time, over a fucking 8th.

They climb over and pile out of the front doors, I bleed like a mother-fucker and bitch at friends for not doing shit and letting me get robbed.

They run like fucking bitches all for $30 dollars worth of fucking weed.

In the scuffle both of their wallets fell out, one has $60, the other $180, + I.D. and all that good shit.

Got $240, a gnarly scar, and a funny fucking story out of an 8th. Would do again.

Moral of the Story: Don't dab out your ride before a drug deal because if something goes wrong, they're just going to sit there like "What just happened dude?"

Happened a few years ago but it's my best one so far


[22 Points] One_Is__crowd:

I received 2tons of sand from pfm and now live in a sand castle in Belize. I only ordered a gram. what am I to do if he comes for me. where do I move to. and I think I need a nuclear weapon to burn my sand castle down.


[9 Points] IraGlassTAL:

Are the rumors true that the streets in Belize are literally paved with sand?


[9 Points] mad87645:

As a moderator of /r/DNMcirclejerk, if we implement such a thing them I'm out of the job.

So I'm going to take a very biased view on this, HELL FUCKING NO.


[5 Points] presari0:

Beating a dead horse is a clichè ..go eat sand in Belize


[5 Points] mxefan123:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2327491/John-McAfees-500-000-Belize-island-home-pictured-burns-suspicious-circumstances.html

In Belize, government burns house down for you.


[4 Points] honestlyimeanreally:

Hey, bump a few lines of sand man.

You sound like your itching for a fix.


[4 Points] gerundive:

Could we please have a moratorium on talking about animal abuse?


[3 Points] None:

[deleted]


[3 Points] None:

okay fine, blow up your house, pack up your dirt, and move to East Rhodesia


[3 Points] None:

I can help you with the house burning and Belize ... can't do anything about the sand, yet, though.


[2 Points] throwaway2341325432:

I would suggest a moratorium on people complaining about joking about burning your house, belize and sandjokes.

Just because you think it isn't funny doesn't mean the rest of us don't find it downright hilarious.


[1 Points] dondepantes:

Alrighty so I built my house in Belize out of sand. Tried to burn it down. No luck. Any suggestions? I'd rather not blow it up due to insurance issues (how the frack does a house blow up?).

Nobody forces you to read posts. The exit door is over there.


[1 Points] throwahooawayyfoe:

Sounds like somebody needs to burn their house down and go enjoy the sand in Belize.


[1 Points] None:

[removed]


[0 Points] pinkprincess1:

That's so funny because I was about to post saying can we make a new year's resolution about no more sand jokes?

Burning down your house and belize are fine I think in small doses and when extreme action is ACTUALLY required (not when you ordered 30 seconds ago and haven't had a confirmation yet)....but let the sand jokes die now...come on...


[0 Points] effyouzion:

As long as we can keep making butt rape jokes, I'm okay with this