Now that you're sobering up from your DNM-fueled weekend, come tell us about your hijinks! A mod will give their favorite story each week a month of Reddit gold and a little something else which is a surprise! Winners may not disclose the surprise or they'll have it taken back. Curious what it is? You'll have to win to find out.
This is going to be a long story so sorry in advance...
So im sitting at home watching intervention and a friend of mine (we'll call her Jen) comes busting in the front door. Throws me her keys and says another friend of hers just got out of rehab (we'll call her rehab) and we are hitting a mf roadie. Ok im down. I grab an quarter of some dank af obama kush and roll out. Rehab is in the back seat with her boyfriend, jen is riding shotgun and im driving. I drive out to a service road and rehab rolls a fat blunt. We pass it around a few times. Windows up. All of a sudden fucking blueberries and cherries. Sheriff deputy come out of fucking nowhere. We top a hill and roll down windows to air out as best as we can before i come to a stop. Rehab eats the rest of the blunt and is chugging a bottle of water. Shoves the rest of the obama kush in her bra. I pull over and cop come to window asks for id and shit and says that i crossed the center line (mind you, there is no center line on this county road) Everyone hands over ids except for me. I forgot to grab my wallet as i left my house. So he has me step out. Im thinking we are fucked he's got to smell this weed. So he tells me he wants me to sit in his car while he runs my info. Weird but ok 👌. He walks in front of me as we go to his car which i thought was strange as usually cops wont turn their backs to you. The officer gets in the drivers seat of the patrol car and is cleaning shit out of passenger seat for me. As he's doing that im walking towards passenger door and fucking trip and fall in the ditch. I hop up quick as fuck there's now mud all over my knees. I climb in the car. He asks my info, runs my shit and get the all clear. I know i reek of weed as i can smell myself as im sitting there. He then asks if there's anything illegal in the car. I tell him that there was not. Knowing dam good and well that rehab has atleast an eighth of weed in her tit. He walks me back to Jen's car and tells me to get back in. He tells me hes going to give me a warning for the ''lane violation''. I give out a relief sigh as i think we are out of there scott free. Then all of a sudden fuckin Jen's ass leans over the console and says ''why is weed illegal''. Are you fucking kidding me? I shoot her a look that could have shot her straight to the pits of hell. The officer then starts to explain that there isn't a good dui test blah blah blah. Im so pissed off at this point and i think the officer notices my attitude change and gets weirded out. Jen has limo tint on her windows so the officer cant see rehab and her boyfriend in the back. He asks me to roll down the rear windows and shines his light right at rehab. He says OMG how much have you smoked tonight? I turn around to see wth he's talking about. Rehab's eyes are as red as the devil's dick. I just drop my head as rehab responds with ''we just got done swimming'' (none of us have wet hair or anything) at the exact same time someone pulled into the lane next to us and it turns out to be the officers fiance. He then leaves us to talk to her for a couple minutes. His fiance drives off and another car tops the hill. He steps out in the middle of the road and shines his flashlight in the oncoming car. He lets the car pass. And then says. I've got to go get him. He has tattoos. I give him a look like WTF? He tells us to have a good night and takes off after the guy. Rehab rolls up another blunt and we continued on our way.