I have a drug problem and it has started to affect my job. I think I need to take a break...

...from jerking off all fucking day!

Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup of 4-FA,
And looking up I noticed I was late.
So I said fuck it, I'm calling out of work and going for my all time record.

8 hours was my official time according to my best friend that acted as referee, and who also had the day off from work because he is a cat. I edged for 8 dick scraping hours. Sure I took some short breaks to smoke 2 packs of cigarettes and drink a few bottles of Ensure, but I never stopped stroking, which is the only rule in this type of sporting event.

I had been training years for this event, sometimes 2 to 3 times per day, but nothing could have prepared me for what came next. Porn escalated faster than anything I have experienced in my life. One second I'm looking at anal, maybe some DP, then out of nowhere there is some chick fucking a dog, and I was only browsing xvideos. It's like the 4-FA enchanted my browser and unlocked hidden fetish porn that only I could see. I was able to create new archetype fetishes I have never seen before:

Anal + Space Deep-throat + Muslims
Lesbians + Black Girls

...and so many more!

(I never knew there are black lesbians, i know crazy right?!)

I should be put to death for the explosion of cum that ended this marathon. As always the first tab I opened up 8 hours earlier ended up being the video that put me over the edge, a Japanese girl being gang-banged by like 20 guys. I pissed cum for 10 seconds, which was then immediately followed by regret that I had just wasted 8 hours of a beautiful summer day and 8 hours of very easy pay to ironically bukkake myself to bukkake.

I read the news today oh boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.
I'd love to turn you on. - 4-FA


Comments


[17 Points] The_Cold_Tugger:

I would like for you to go into detail about the shame. Tell me about the shame


[8 Points] Aluminum_Foil_Hat:

My life withut the 4-FA. Googling "what the fuck is 4-FA?"


[7 Points] None:

First time I ever took Adderall I was 16 or 17 and skipped school that day. I took it in the morning, and I got distracted and ended up looking at porn, and started hoarding it... I mean I would download anything I could find and sort + categorize it. I ended up jerking off for like 8 hours because no matter what I could not finish.


[7 Points] dawgiee:

8 hours of straight jerking off? Your dick must be filed down to a nub dude


[8 Points] Sockopuppto:

Hahahaha lmao. As a man who's had his fair share of gratuitously long stim jerk off sessions this hit close to home


[3 Points] Deafcunt:

Wonderful post... I really love the how you somehow involved an amazing Beatles track. I've never tried 4-FA but have done plenty of methamphetamines back in the day and yeah, hours go by in minutes. One time I was swollen for a day or 2, really scared the shit out of me so I took it easy after that.

I pissed cum for 10 seconds

This is not an exaggeration, and worded perfectly.

Ever try 4-FMA?


[3 Points] The_Grid_Is_Up:

8 hours? Damn you must be sporting some serious road rash. These 4-FA posts are always hilarious lol.


[4 Points] darkgamr:

Honestly dude 8 hours is weak as fuck for a stim fap session. My current record is 43 hours, and I've gotten to the point where I have to have the pill bottle within arms reach before I start jerking off because I always have to redose at least once before finishing


[2 Points] alp2bars:

What'd you eat today?


[2 Points] DrDankMemes:

Kinda just assuming you're from the UK here but I'll ask anyway... Where did you get your 4-FA from? I'm dying to try it, and I can't find any UK vendors that sell it.


[2 Points] HappySodomy:

The only part I hate about that song is the end.


[2 Points] rappercake:

Rule34.xxx lasts me like 12 hours until my chrome crashes from the tabs open.


[2 Points] None:

I think I might have found ET porn with my friends one time, I can't recall if we were high or not though.


[2 Points] None:

I use to do this type of shit w/o any drugs. Clinical depression is a bitch


[2 Points] turned_wand:

then take that break bro. knowing your body needs one is FUCKING HUGE part of using.. people (myself included) can SO EASILY ignore that "moment of clarity" and push themselves past a point of no return... listen to your heart !! :) <3


[2 Points] dnmyesterday:

My record is 12 hours beating it. I also drink Ensure. And i just discovered a porn site better than x videos. Try it is nesaporn


[2 Points] KrispyKremeDNM:

Hmmmmm...


[1 Points] madintro:

oh shit. never tried 4-fa but on good crystal meth... 12-16 hr jerks are common. is 4-fa a synth cathione? cathiones are not nearly as arousing as the amphetamines, in my opinion.


[0 Points] Hank_Vendor:

If you're drinking your drug of choice for breakfast jerking off is the least of your worries


[-4 Points] footlockervip:

ok. not funny. pointless. not even a good try.