Friend literally died, can't retrieve package

So I conspired with a friend to order a large amount of drugs a while ago, and it got shipped from a reliable vendor to a mailroom in my friend's name. Then my friend literally died of an unrelated drug overdose, and now the package cannot be retrieved because an ID is requested by the mailroom. The roommate of the deceased, a non-drug user, agreed to try to retrieve the package, and was not allowed to by the mailroom - however he says he held the package in his hands so we're 99% sure the mailroom did receive it. I don't want to sketch him out because he knows what's in the package, and he "doesn't have a dog in this fight", and I don't want to sketch the mailroom out by pestering them.

I finalized the order after all this happened and contacted the vendor, hoping the package might have been "return to sender"ed. He was consolatory, he offered a bonus on the next round, but because he had not received the return-to-sender package, he did not offer a reship (nor would I expect any - he didn't do anything wrong). At this point I am not sure if the package is still in the mailroom.

It was all his money, but dayum that's a lotta drugs and I would love to have it. Any ideas?


Comments


[59 Points] 666fun:

Wait. Rewind.

You sent your friends roommate to pick up your large package of drugs from the mailroom but neglected to tell them the risk they were taking on your behalf?!? Fuck you.

And you're waiting for your vendor to receive the return to sender package, as if they used their iwn return address?!

Do you have any clue at all?!

I think not.


[48 Points] holecloud:

damn, you should Weeekend at Bernie's that motherfucker, some wire some voice recorders like home alone, good to go motherfucker...........


[38 Points] None:

Write it off and move on. It's not like you've even lost money so let it go because it just isn't worth it.

Edit: having since read this is at a university mailroom, I now have to ask what the fuck you're thinking of? Well, besides the free drugs which you're apparently blinded by. Without sounding like your mother are free drugs really worth potentially ruining your future? You are never going to get your hands on that parcel. All you're going to do is arouse suspicion keeping on trying because generally speaking random friends don't repeatedly attempt to claim parcels of the deceased.


[17 Points] durgsrbad:

I have no idea why I continue to be surprised by stupendously retarded people in this scene. Just when you think there's a way forward to legitimize the whole process, along comes another fuckhead to make sure we stay at the bottom rung.


[17 Points] None:

[deleted]


[11 Points] AllThoseTracers:

Get a fake ID with the same last name and you'll be able to retrieve it. just make sure it's a different person working.


[9 Points] FEDScaneatadick:

i'm sorry but this thread is hilarious, that title had me cracking the fuck up


[8 Points] None:

run in guns blazing it's only a logical thing to do


[6 Points] jennycraigsbutthole:

Examine the prospects of breaking into the mailroom after hours. If you're up for that sort of operation. Thats what I would look into, if the fake ID wasn't an option.. Good luck, and sorry for your loss.


[5 Points] Einsteins_Lovechild:

You should probably get some more advice from the internet - maybe try Facebook and Twitter, and the advice will be better if you give some more information like the city you're in and a physical description of you and your friend (so we know if the fake ID is a valid option).

I'm pretty sure college age kids - like the people who work at a university mail room - are not the reddit demographic, and it's totally common to have a 20ish year old student die and have their mail pile up, and it's the most normal thing ever for a non-relative non-roommate to be circling the mail room like a vulture to pick up one particular package not addressed to him. College age kids also don't typically do drugs or read about drugs on the internet, so a friend of a friend of a mail room worker won't come across this post and make the connection either.

Yes, posing as your dead friend with fake id to pick up a box of drugs that is otherwise completely unconnected to you is the winning move.


[6 Points] randomnumberx:

So you or a buddy gets dead guy's ID, folds up a crisp $20 and hands it and the ID to the wannabe-mail-clerk and says it's urgent. Every clerk has his price. Maybe a fiddy will do the job. This is the dorm mail room right? not USPS?


[5 Points] IEatAnyAss:

Go to the mailroom pretending to be a homosexual. Say there's a dragon dildo in the package that was sent to your fabulous boyfriend/roommate who died of AIDS, then bring it home.


[5 Points] savingstuffs:

/r/fakeid


[3 Points] TripleOGeg:

OP you are scum.

Your friends dies and you send his housemate to collect his drugs from his office and now you're making posts like this:

It was all his money, but dayum that's a lotta drugs and I would love to have it. Any ideas?

With friends like you who needs enemies?


[3 Points] cydert:

Screw the package respect your friend and pay your respect remember the good times.


[2 Points] CokedOutCorgy:

Whats the approx value of the package?


[2 Points] ErraticWire:

This might be the first time anyone has said "literally died" on the internet to describe an actual death.


[2 Points] None:

If it was his money - fuck off, mourn the loss of your 'friend', and get off the hard drugs. Your drug habit is clearly not allowing you to think straight.


[2 Points] jerzze18:

yeah your a fucking piece of shit junkie and i hope you die in a car fire while watching his roomate pissing on you "trying" to save you.


[1 Points] None:

i say fake id. invest 100 bucks or so and get that shit.


[1 Points] cool_mas:

go to /r/fakeid. you can get a fake University ID for like $20-$30 from the vendors there


[1 Points] CumberlandGap:

Get a fake (drivers license, not student) ID with the same last name, pretend to be a family member

Option B, if there are students working the mail room, get them to hook you up


[1 Points] CaptAl:

Pretend to be his cousin and claim that his parents want you to receive his package for him. Might work..might not


[1 Points] None:

I'm a bit confused as to what the opsec risk would be if the executor of the will just showed up and claimed the package on your behalf? It's obviously not a CD, and it is technically their property. It will likely go to the family anyways if you don't intervene, so you might try to butt in and snag it before they recieve and open it, as it is rightfully yours regardless.

Also, the ID thing may very work, even with just a driver's license.


[1 Points] iam9000LBS:

i like turtles.


[1 Points] psykadelikpanda:

Im sure the parents could get the mail from the mailroom. Im not sure if you or the roommate are close to them, but you could easily make up a story about your buddy ordering something offline for you bc you didnt have a credit card or something.

Again, i dont know if the parents live close and idk if you are close enough to them to talk about something like that right after their child dies, but i figured it was worth a mention.


[1 Points] IgnignoktErr:

If only your friend had a sibling with similar interests..


[1 Points] rudetopigs:

You could make a fake id in his name


[1 Points] DNMFeedBak:

Contact the deceaseds parents and say how sorry you are for their loss and explain you were a friend of their sons. Say you know he had some mail in the mail room they is part of a project you were both working on together that you would like to retrieve and ask for their permission to do so.

Go down to the mail room with the roommate of the deceased and ideally some mail in the deceaseds name and address, also try and make sure that the parents of the deceased are available on the phone of need be.

At the mail room, YOU DO THE TALKING. You want the package then you need to be prepared to take the heat if things go south. Don't try and palm this off onto the room mate as he'll just roll over and drop you straight in the shit with no way to lie your way out of it.

At the mail room explain your friend recently died and you're collecting his mail for his parents. If they say that they normally forward on all the mail of students no longer in attendance then explain that you were working on a project with the deceased and that there's some mail to him of relevance to you. At this point it's important to talk calmly and at a normal pace but to not let the other person get a word in. Flow into saying that the person next to you is the deceased's room mate, you have proof of name and address of the deceased, and here's the kicker, say you can call the parents of the deceased of they want to verify.

Unless they're a cold heartless fuck, they're not going to want to disturb the parents who are most likely going to be grieving over the death of their son (unlike you who will have already done so).

That's about the best approach I can think of


[1 Points] None:

Get a death certificate and grab his ID and go down to the mailroom, give them both and explain that you're helping the family and he was a really close friend of yours. They might just scratch your back.


[1 Points] Esketamine:

but because he had not received the return-to-sender package, he did not offer a reship (nor would I expect any - he didn't do anything wrong). At this point I am not sure if the package is still in the mailroom.

How long have you left it? Depending on where you live it can take anywhere from 2 days to 3+ months in order for them to return to sender. Ask then how long they take before returning to the sender. If you really trust this vendor then this is the safest approach as you have no chance of getting caught and a fair chance of getting the drugs/money back eventually.

A close relative will also probably be able to get the package if they supply a death certificate as well as their own ID. Given the circumstances I think that this would likely be a stupid and very insensitive thing to do though, but you know the situation better than us so perhaps it's not.

The fake ID to steal a package full of drugs idea is the worst one here. Think about the amount of charges you could end up facing for using a fake ID to steal mailed drugs from a dead person, considering it's only $1000 worth there is absolutely no way in hell this is worth it.


[1 Points] Lawlish:

Sorry for your loss OP. Drugs can be replaced, but friends cannot.


[1 Points] noonehear:

Take a death certificate to the post office and say there were sentimental items in the package.


[1 Points] PIXEL_MACHT_FREI:

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[0 Points] scuderiaferaikonetel:

Tell his mother he ordered something for you because he could get a discount and you need it and ask her to go and tell them the situation so she can receive it.


[0 Points] Taylorswiftfan69:

You fri he was eumb, he's dead good rde


[0 Points] awaywethrowwwww:

I actually think I might be familiar with the deceased/situation? Besides the obvious, do the letters GOD mean anything to you/him? If so, I may be able to help. If not, sorry and good luck.