Hello and welcome to the third part of my new review series focusing on Hansa's cannabis concentrates vendors. Today I am reviewing HansaMerchant and his "La Nina Shatter" and "Cali Dream Shatter." This is a long one. Maybe at some point, if possible, I will post another review. You can find my old reviews from 2014 here, as well as an explanation of my review template.
You can find part one and two of this new series here and here, respectively.
Still accepting tips via the same bitcoin address found in my old reviews.
When I posted my last review series, I outlined a modified review template that I felt presented the information that buyers need in a more balanced and responsible fashion than the default template typically used in this sub. As far as I know, nobody else has ever used my template, but nobody complained about it either, so I will continue to use it as I stand by my assessment that it reflects the information more accurately.
Rather than copy/paste the entire explanation here, I have included only the essential changes. If you are interested in the reasoning behind making these changes you can follow the link at the top of this post to my old reviews which contain my full explanation.
Stealth, Quality, Weight, Price Value = 20 pts each
Communication, Transaction, Shipping Time, Aesthetics = 5 pts each
HansaMerchant -- [86] / 100
Details | |
Vendor: | [HansaMerchant ] |
Market: | [Hansa ] |
Product: | ["Custom Order: 1.75g each La Nina Shatter and Cali Dream Shatter for $105 + Shipping" ] |
Shipped from: | [US ] |
Shipped to: | [US ] |
Required FE: | [NO ] |
Vacuum Sealed: | [1-LAYER ] |
Decoy: | [YES ] |
Handwriting: | [NO ] |
Rating | |
Stealth: | [13 ] / 20 |
Quality: | [18 ] / 20 |
Weight: | [20 ] / 20 |
Price value: | [20 ] / 20 |
Communication: | [5 ] / 5 |
Shipping time: | [5 ] / 5 |
Aesthetics: | [0 ] / 5 |
Transaction: | [5 ] / 5 |
TOTAL SCORE: | [86] / 100 |
HansaMerchant is an new, aptly-named vendor on the wonderful and reliable Hansa Market. His stated mission is "to bring a complete cannabis market to the consumer where such a thing is still just a dream." While new to DNMs, he claims to be very experienced in the cannabis black market and after talking with him and working with him, I believe it. I really like this guy. And if you have not yet visited Hansa Market, then you are a silly person. Don't be silly. Use Hansa Market.
So, first of all, when I saw HM's profile, he had just put up his first flower listings and no one had even contacted him yet. He didn't even have any concentrates listings up but he mentioned in his profile that he had wax on request, so I inquired, and I mentioned that I prefer sativa strains. HM replied quickly with a list: 8 strains of sativa and sativa-dominant hybrid live resins, waxes and shatters. An impressive selection to say the least. I was intrigued.
We ironed out the details over the next few days and I decided I was going to order an 8th split between 2 strains of shatter for his 8th price of $105 + shipping. HM doesn't send out packs over the weekend (a little eccentric maybe but not a big deal) so it went out the following Monday (4/25). Unfortunately that pack never arrived.
Without giving away any sensitive information, after having received the reship I now know that HM ships from a state that is well-known for seizures, even when compared to states with similar legislation regarding cannabis, and even taking into account vendor experience and skill. In my history of DNM purchases spanning four years and hundreds of successful orders, mostly buying from established vendors with only a few exceptions, nearly all of which are documented here in my reviews, I have only had 2 packs seized. They both originated from this state. I think I have said enough and many of you probably already know which state I am referring to. Oops. Oh well. No way around it I'm afraid.
Interestingly, rather than marking it seized on the tracking and forwarding me a love letter, it seems that the inspectors modified the tracking to indicate it had been returned to sender, perhaps in an attempt to lure HM into attempting to retrieve it. Seems a little fishy though. Certainly unusual; I've never heard of anything like it. My first thought when HM told me it was RTS'd was that he might've used incorrect postage, but now that I know he's in a state where mail is more heavily monitored for black market activity than others, it seems plausible. I've had clean glass pieces seized coming out of this state before. They do not fuck around over there.
As I never received the first pack, and the reship's stealth was likely very different, and because of the origin state's propensity for seizing cannabis products, I cannot assess to what extent HM's stealth may have precipitated the seizure. For this reason I will deduct no points for the seizure despite my near certainty that MBB would have prevented it.
Regardless, I was satisfied by the explanation that it had been seized and I OK'd the reship on 5/3 (Tues). It shipped the next day and arrived 5/7 (Sat). No handwriting, but tape on seams es no bueno (-2), and only single-layer vac-seal, no MBB (-3). No visual barrier to the vac-seal (-2), but inside was one of the most intricate and confusing decoys I've ever seen. Maybe I'm an idiot but it took me literally five straight minutes of inspection to determine where the shatter was, during which I came incredibly close to concluding that it wasn't there at all and I had been scammed. Laughed my ass off when I finally figured it out. Very clever. This sort of artistry in decoy-making is rare nowadays since the advent of the MBB but I found it charming and, well, seeing as I'm holding it in my hand, it appears to have worked.
The product is an extremely stable pull-and-snap at room temperature. Delicious and terpy. Like my other review for NWC&C's pull-and-snap shatter, I'm giving this an 18/20 (9/10) on quality just because it requires refrigeration to reach true shatter consistency, but it's still fire.
My sole complaint here is that apparently, in the process of constructing the decoy, HM combined the two strains into one. After the first pack was seized, it makes sense that he wanted to make sure the pack looked legitimate, but this is unacceptable to me. I feel there should have been some way to implement the decoy without compromising the presentation of the products so I am deducting the 5 points from Aesthetics. Despite the beautiful and elaborate decoy, I ordered two products and received one. Or maybe this is all one strain and I was duped. Next time separate them so I know for sure.
Lastly I'll just say again that I think the entire mess probably could've been avoided by having simply used MBB (or failing that, at least double-layer vac-seal) and visual barrier (ie an envelope or newspaper) from the beginning, as is industry standard.
TL;DR: Rough start, but HansaMerchant made it right with a lightning-fast and stealthy reship. Great product at a great price. I had a few complaints but overall I'm happy with how it went and I'm proud of HM for following through. I already placed another order for some of his L.S.D. flower ($175/oz 😱😱😱) which I expect to be amazing so stay tuned for an update on that.
Pics or it didn't happen:
Great review.