Mailman Stories

So I'm a career letter carrier with the USPS. I found my way to this forum after reading about the AlphaBay bust. Having been an occasional DNM customer for a long time and having seen some things inside the post office I thought it would be fun to post a few stories if anyone cares to read.

One morning in the office a guy whose sorting case was next to mine showed me a small package that reeked overwhelmingly of weed, even 3 feet from my face. It was addressed to a name that the carrier (the regular on the route) had never seen before. (Note: this will occasionally get a package sent back and also makes it more likely a carrier will come knocking on your door asking if it's for you.) A discussion broke out amongst several of us mailmen regarding what to do about said package. I, Good Guy Greg that I am, argued he should just deliver it and forget about it. Eventually though, the carrier decided to bring it to the attention of a supervisor. One minute later he walks back with the package, and says: "He says just deliver it; we're not worried about small stuff like that."

Another time I had an international registered package to a guy who by appearance alone I could see was a major juicehead (steroid user). The package was from overseas with custom form declaring it as "samples". It was addressed to a name vaguely similar to his but not exact (no idea if this was intentional or not). Anyway, He-Man comes to the door and freaks out when I inform him he needs to sign for it to receive it. He goes into a roid rage/paranoia rant about how he wasn't supposed to have to sign for it. After again reaffirming the need for a signature, he refuses and shuts the door. I shrug and walk away. As I am about to get back into the mail truck, he comes running out and says he'll sign for it. I don't know if he changed his mind or decided I didn't look like a controlled delivery. The hilarious part is that this guy worked at a GNC. I wondered if he tried to tell his customers his products there got him that big, or if he sold his special "supplements" hidden behind the counter.

For me, I have my own route so I can carefully select an address on it and have it strategically addressed there, where I can intercept it en route. It would be hilarious if I had to do a controlled delivery to myself one day (It would end with knocking on the door of a bunch of illegal immigrants who spoke no english with a strange package addressed to a non-existent name of that ethnicity, so it would intentionally just end in confusion all around. (I figure this method is the best way to defuse everything.) Though I'd still be bummed that I would never get my stuff.

Controlled deliveries are very rare, in my experience. The few from my office I'm pretty sure were not DNM related; the addressees were pretty "street".

I probably don't have much but if anyone has any questions I'd be happy to answer. No, I never work under the influence of anything.


Comments


[25 Points] tossinsaladsallday:

idk why but reading this post suddenly made me want to work for the post office....how hard is it to get a job there op?


[5 Points] DooshNozzzle:

haha, I've thought many times about how cool it would be to be a USPS letter carrier and just get my packs delivered to a house on my route.

Have you ever considered how profitable your unique position could be? You could be getting some very large and profitable international packs delivered then re-selling the product on the dark net to people here in the USA and make some serious coin.


[6 Points] backwoodbob:

god i could only imagine if i was a mail carrier i would hand over the priority pack with the biggest fucking smirk on my face and say have a great day. what a day to be alive


[6 Points] sqrupfgt:

Aren't controlled deliveries done by a mixture of law enforcement and postal inspector? If I were on your route, wouldn't seeing you (my regular carrier) be an indicator its not a CD? Whereas someone I've never seen before being "no, sorry, there must ve a mistake. I don't recognize that address. "


[3 Points] arbitrarysquid:

I've offered my mail guy a nug of weed while he was making deliveries. He's been my mail guy for eight years and I give him a twelve pack of good beer every Christmas.

He said he'd love to accept it but didn't want to have any on him in his mail truck. He stopped by after work one day and gave me a gram or so of some herb he had grown.

I live in a legal state and it was fairly obvious to anyone that he was a fan of the devil's lettuce.


[3 Points] definitelynotLE:

I personally am looking for a decent job, but I would feel reluctant, considering the felonies that the USPS has helped me commit over the course of many years. I mean, obviously i wouldnt work in the town i have my packs delivered to, but wouldnt it seem strange that a postman, such as myself, insists on having his mail delivered to a post office a few towns over. Sorry, but i aint got the balls to have my own packs handed to me by a postmaster, but kudos to you friend


[3 Points] skankhunt92:

Ran into my mailman at 11am(he delivers my area at 5pm). He gave me my mail/pack, without me asking. Good guy. He got a good Christmas bonus.


[3 Points] half_a_brain:

Made me think, would be a good idea for a large vendor to have an inside man to be able to give him a heads if any of the packages dropped off get flagged.


[2 Points] ItsAllJustPretend:

Here's a question- how familiar are letter carriers with the people on their route? I imagine after delivering mail every day they sorta see who gets the normal stuff and who gets stuff shipped from abroad. Is it a bit of a red flag when occasionally an address gets an international package/letter? I always feel like the international stuff sticks out like a sore thumb in my mail when most of the time I get letters telling me I need an American Express credit card.


[2 Points] None:

If I were a supervisor I'd slap the coworker for being a snitch.


[2 Points] rocketmantastic-:

LOL!! You order stuff on the DNM to yourself, with a fake name and an address on your route you have no association with!? THATS FUCKING GANGSTER! Thanks for sharing, very cool.


[1 Points] WeezerMarti:

The story about the international package was fucking hilarious! WARNING!!! Don't wake and bake and read reddit if you can't the pain in the gut!


[1 Points] stuckinatree99:

OP- are you familiar with that new USPS informed delivery digest service?


[1 Points] unc0ntr0lleddeliver2:

This is OP, I forgot the password to my other account. Last call for questions. If you sent a private message to my other name, I didn't get it.

One last tip: Your package gets treated much more roughly than you think. If it can't be hurdled 30 feet through the air and stepped on without possibly becoming damaged or popping open, it's not secure enough.


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