So how should I kill the kids that keep stealing my packages? Make a trip to the armory??

I sure as fuck think so. After 5 of my packages never arriving from reputable sellers, I already knew something was up. But when i look outside my window and see 2 high-schoolers in a CRV, rummaging through my mail box, its fucking game time boys. Is this insane? Maybe. Do I care? Fuck no.


Comments


[120 Points] DinglebellRock:

You could also just film them and tell the police you see them taking stuff out of your mailbox but you aren't missing anything you ordered from Amazon or anything. Make it look like they are ordering drugs to your home. Will burn your address but a decent sized order of heroin/coke will either get them real jail time or at least juvie and a record and probably soiled pants.


[55 Points] DinglebellRock:

Get license plate. Plant cocaine in their vehicle and call cops claiming you saw them pull over in front of your house snorting coke. Make sure your fingerprints aren't on car or coke baggie. Have it be several baggies so they get popped for distribution.


[37 Points] None:

How are you going to get the armory gun if they keep stealing your packages? They'll probably wind up killing you with the gun you ordered to kill them... Irony is beautiful


[33 Points] BlueShadesTM:

Sell their body to that guy who wanted human body parts.


[28 Points] None:

[deleted]


[17 Points] shredded1990:

Fuck both of their moms, film it and send it to their house with a gram of weed so they jack off to it


[13 Points] tgifooops:

Poisonis shrroms


[14 Points] anotherSRthrow:

http://www.reddit.com/r/DarkNetMarkets/comments/21c0uc/looking_for_cyanide/

I see what you're planning


[11 Points] 2ndAccount2:

What is a white powder that is not a drug that would hurt like fuck if snorted?

Make a package look like all the others and put a white coke looking powder in the package and put it in your mailbox.

Can a laxative be crushed to look like coke?

For added fun in the package have there be a note that says "this stuff is the shit"


[8 Points] NiggaKingKilla:

You can't commit a shooting in your own apartment complex and expect to get away with it, especially during the middle of the day.

You need to buy a ski mask and a hunting knife, steal a car, then camp outside your mailbox. When you see the kids, approach them from behind, quickly carve their throats out, then just leave them gurgling and smash out of the area. Abandon the car somewhere inconspicuous and torch the interior, along with the mask and the knife.

Then just show up back at the apartments and act natural. You probably would want to establish an alibi, maybe go buy a movie ticket that afternoon or something. Although a movie alone is a shitty alibi.

Really though, just stake the place out with your ski mask, and when you see them rummaging through your mailbox run up and mace their bitch asses, and then maybe smash their teeth out with a steel baton or a Mag Lite. I doubt they'd call the police and admit they were there stealing mail.


[9 Points] asimplescribe:

You should probably ignore all of the fucking morons that suggest poisoning them since these kids are also going to be in possession of a box that has your name and address on it.


[7 Points] hugsfordrugs:

Wow that sucks. How do they know what you're ordering? Did they just happen to steal a package once and get lucky, so they're coming back?


[7 Points] None:

One word: scopolamine.


[6 Points] -BobLoblaw:

Quickest way would be to leave a package of pure fentanyl in your box with a note describing it as coke. Not that I would recommend that. I wouldn't. ;)


[5 Points] JWay:

Just send yourself some itching powder in a sandwich baggie.


[2 Points] missingmandy:

Try not to give LEO more reason to try and shut us down by plotting the death of some kids.


[4 Points] None:

Order some weed Ask vendor to put 5-10 drops of RAT poison in weed ???? Problem Solved.


[2 Points] detrasdetiimbecil:

In my opinion, don't try to enact revenge. The damage is done. Don't escalate the situation, as appealing as it may be.

Here's a question: do they know that you know? Because if they do and they're still fucking with you, then they have balls. Otherwise, getting them to stop could be as simple as putting a note inside of your mailbox, or a photograph of them caught in the act.


[2 Points] Al_up_in_that:

Get some potent changa and send it to yourself. If they smoke it they might become better people.


[2 Points] jasperkissez:

put a package in your mailbox with a gram of weed, but take that gram and rub ur ass all over it, cum on it then spray it with poison. let it set and let em have it


[2 Points] rerunrun:

I would really like to know how this turns out...


[2 Points] Throwaway21476:

Get powdered arsenic from a gardening / hardware store, put in small baggies. It wont fix your problems straight away, but give it time.


[2 Points] kenks88:

I mean, you could just get a bunch of rat poison in baggies.

They snort it, they're dead.


[2 Points] untaMe610:

how did they even know to look in your mailbox?


[2 Points] None:

How are you suppose to get the gun out of the mail if they have been intercepting other packages?


[2 Points] MrCrappy57:

Anything you do for revenge, they will anonymously narc on you. Get a PO box and live your life.

Think about the proverb regarding revenge and graves.


[1 Points] soapyone:

Put something explosive in your mailbox so when the lid is opened it blows up. It will look like it was a failed attempt by the thieves to blow up your mailbox.


[1 Points] 13tom13:

shudnt hurt them just put like a scare trap that makes a loud noise or shocks them in your mailbox or like order a white powder to your house that has laxatives in


[1 Points] None:

Send yourself some drugs that are sure to kill anyone who imbibes.

What kind of drugs do you order? If it's a some sort of powdery substance like cocaine, sodium azide or sodium cyanide is quite a potent poison. It also results in quite a painful, yet swift death.

Another option would be Marijuana edibles. You could put almost any poison in those and be successful as they already have a strong flavor.


[1 Points] DigitallyAborted:

This is the reason I invested in a PO Box


[1 Points] stopitsideways:

They're kids, goddamnit. 90% of the suggestions in here are way too excessive. Do something that will scare the crap out of them, shouldn't be too hard and they wouldn't steal again.


[1 Points] DrugPorn:

The primary use for PO boxes is to prevent stuff like this.


[3 Points] sharpshooter789:

Why are people so fucking violent? I do consider theft wrong and the people responsible should pay, but using violence on your own is just stupid. They are high school kids I'm sure you could just scare them. If they are hard asses and are not intimated, then stop ordering illegal shit (briefly) setup a small IP camera near the mailbox and catch them on tape. Not who you would have to report it too though. Regardless, stealing other peoples mail is a very serious felony. I'm sure there experience in the legal system would be worse than death.


[1 Points] M1RR0R:

Take a video of them in the act, upload it to YouTube, put a note in your mailbox with the link and a note telling them what they owe you and how long they have to pay you back.


[1 Points] Hammerfell3000:

Put a note in the mailbox saying you have a shotgun inside, and next time they come anywhere near your propriety, you will put it up their asshole and shoot.


[1 Points] mistahveeg:

You could:

Fill a bucket with accelerant

Run up to crv

Empty bucket of accelerant onto and into crv

Ignite

Get high as fuck


[1 Points] Samnite4Life:

Just get a locking mailbox or rent a PO Box.


[1 Points] blueskykin:

Buy plain gelatin caps and fill them with some maximum strength laxatives and mail them to yourself. Then mail yourself some "coke" made of laxatives and itching powder. They'll leave your drugs alone after that.

Also, get a PO Box.


[1 Points] ishkabibbles84:

I would be amazed that these kids just watched your mailbox and knew you were ordering drugs. They HAD to have known about your activity on DNM's before they grabbed anything


[1 Points] lodubzfreq5:

Bringing any heat to the markets wouldn't be cool.. and getting cops involved is NEVER a good idea especially when you're involved in "frowned on" activities. Can't you just stake out your mailbox and catch them and handle them at that time or record them and threaten them with the tape?


[1 Points] MrBadTacos:

Follow them.. Park your car not too far from your home, say a neighbor's driveway or down the street, and wait until they strike again. Catch them red handed by using a regular mail envelope filled with flower or something and follow them home. Once you get to their home you have a choice to tell their parent or fuck up the car. I would place a fat handful of thermite with a slow burning high temperature fuse that is capable of igniting it, on the hood over the engine block of their mommy's cr-v. Or you could use a blowtorch to ignite it but it might be more risky to do that.

Dinglebellrock has the right idea


[0 Points] pinkprincess1:

Yes. Kill them. Slowly!


[0 Points] sleepybeard:

Man, I wish some kids would steal my mail. I'd have so much fun fucking with them in the worst kinds of ways.


[-8 Points] Analyticalotter:

Please stop entertaining this troll's posts.