Can I sell my sperm on DNM?

Just wondering if I opened a shop on Alpha or Dream Market selling my jizz if anyone should buy it. I figure I can insulate those USPS priority mail boxes with Styrofoam, then add in a couple ice packs. Then maybe I could just jizz in a water bottle or something, or maybe just jizz in the box and seal it up properly. I'm thinking maybe like $15 per 5ml + $10 shipping, but also do bulk orders up to like 2 cups, if the price is right. You can do whatever you want with the sperm, no questions asked. U can impregnate someone or just resell it to your local sperm bank for profit. I'd be willing to do free samples for reviews. The kids might come out retarded or addicted to crack though

Edit: what if you could sell your clean piss to pass drug tests??? I smoke too much weed so I can't, but maybe someone not from this subreddit can

Edit 2: I am so honored to be the top post in darknetmarkets. Its been a very humbling experience but I would like to thank each and every methhead and bartard on this sub.


Comments


[257 Points] None:

[deleted]


[178 Points] yephesingoldshire:

My guess is that anyone planning to commit a sexual offense might buy it. That way they could leave your jizz at the crime scene. Have fun in prison!


[61 Points] DooshNozzzle:

It is illegal to sell anything on the dark net markets, not just drugs. Because you are contributing to a criminal organizaation, or something like that.

So selling DNA samples is probably a bad move. If your DNA isn't in the system, then as soon as it is, you will be matched to your dark net jizz sales.


[43 Points] gofourgore:

$15 per 5 ml? Shit, where you live man, LOL. I can get 5 ml sperm from my local dealer at way better rates.


[29 Points] conspiracy_thug:

  1. It must be cryogenically frozen with liquid nitrogen the entire trip

  2. Do you really want to end up paying child support for some kid that you've never even seen let alone giving money to some woman you never fucked?

  3. Just sell drugs dude.

  4. Selling piss like Ricky and Julian, huh? Greasy.


[17 Points] C_Lana_Zepamo:

I mean, Hansa has an Erotica section. It's empty, but I was thinking of opening a service up, where I'll draw any stick figures having sex, for 3 dollars, and mail it to you.


[13 Points] JburnaDNM:

Would advise against it op. I've pretty much sold my sperm to 3 worthless bitches and now I have to pay $1500 a month in child support.


[11 Points] DeltaPositionReady:

People who actually donate to sperm banks have to have complete medical histories to show that they don't carry a history of genetic faults. If you had the BRCA1 mutation, you generally wouldn't want to pass this down the line (it increases the likelihood of developing breast cancer, ovarian and cervical cancer).

Then there are some clinics that will pay extra if you can show that you have a PhD or run a successful business empire or something, since the firm can then market your sperm as being premium stock. Even having good genetic mutations like a strong jawline, blue eyes or over 6 foot will increase your chances of being paid to donate sperm.

However if you're a crack addicted retard who didn't already know this and had to ask this on Reddit, chances are your sperm are better off not being passed on.


[4 Points] MotherSuperieor:

If people would buy flavoured bong water why not?


[4 Points] alfx:

YS YES YES YES SEND ME YOUR WALLET I'LL BUY IT RIGHT NOW PLEASE


[4 Points] j-mann25:

I want to find someone somewhere whether it be the DN or whatever to buy my kidney. I know theres a lot of people that are on a list that wont get one in time but ill sell mine for the right price. I just dont know where to look for something like that. Any suggestions?


[3 Points] whoiiinvitedthisguy:

Pisss turns into some nasty shit if it's just sitting out like in a bottle or something for awhile


[3 Points] None:

You can do this without the "dark net". Google "become a sperm donor" Viola.


[3 Points] wontonamobae:

It's a lot like counterfeiting and forgetting to change the serial numbers. All bills ever used and found will be traced back to you. But this time, with like... jizz.


[3 Points] iwantcaketoo:

You'll dox yourself.


[2 Points] Nick246:

You can buy fake piss that works just as good.


[2 Points] None:

one day they may have the tech to cross check single moms against DNA databases... future child support incoming


[2 Points] Milstar:

Good idea, your DNA evidence can be left at a crime scene.


[2 Points] None:

Cumpost of the week


[2 Points] dobby420:

Can I take a free sample?


[2 Points] Kekorepeleco:

Haha, about selling clean piss. There was this Trailer Park Boys episode where they took clean piss from the Military camp and re sold it to druggies. I don't do any of that shit, i'm just interested in reading this post. Anybody need clean piss? haha


[1 Points] svere21:

How're your genes?


[1 Points] futuredinosaur:

Not sure if 12 or retarded.


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] morbidlytame:

Sure, but think of your DNA.


[1 Points] MrGrief:

Cat.


[1 Points] AlexDr0ps:

I would pay decent money to receive shipments of clean piss to my door every few days


[1 Points] 0rem0r:

Like anyone would want some unvertified sperm to impregnate themselves... it can be ranch dressing for all they know or from a horse (probably more expensive?) or you could have low sperm count and doing drugs, there is a reason sperm banks screen... so they probably wouldn't buy it (from a sane persons perspective). The fact you dont want to go to the bank yourself and get paid more shows that there is some reason they wouldn't buy it


[1 Points] slippityslops:

Female beauty market would be your best target. Women love sperm for its benefit to the skin. But I wouldn't sell it neat. Add it to moisturiser and advertise it "With Semen Technology".


[1 Points] Herrobrine:

The reason why this would never be successful is because anyone willing to sell their cock cream on the dmn's would be the last choice from someone looking for liquid pearls


[1 Points] MoribundTyke:

Why not store it up in a cardboard box for bulk sales? Maybe the sort of box one would purchase a pair of shoes in

Edit: Have just realised that you may need to keep it warm for optimal virility. Why not store it inside the family dog?


[1 Points] THE_DEEP_MOB_CONNECT:

Make me a custom listing. Need 3cc please.


[1 Points] ice_cream4breakfast:

I would order it to someone I don't likes house


[1 Points] divvd:

This is the most retarded request I have ever seen


[1 Points] Lat3ris:

This post should get gold & a 'sticky' (lol, get it) @ the top of the sub!

[Snare drum sound]


[1 Points] Conctr8isGR8:

Horrible opSec


[1 Points] hipmotherof4:

Sell your sperm as vegan mayo


[0 Points] Scamperillium:

Because sperm banks aren't a thing