DPRK Dark Market Hiring Film Studio Production Staff Wanted

DPRK Dark Marketplace is in efforts to produce film from script leaked from Western and Asian film studio purchased from dark market.

The film is "The Great Wall" currently being filmed outside of Beijing and Qingdao China. It stars Matt Damon, Willem Defoe and Pedro Pascal along with a host of Chinese film stars. It is the most expensive film EVER made in China (about $135,000,000 USD) and the first film to come out of the new studio "Legendary East" which was created specifically to create movies for both Chinese and Western audiences. It is scheduled to be released in November, 2016.

We will be producing our own version of this film in DPRK for part of Korea's film heritage. We are great lovers of film in DPRK. China and West collaborate on film together to glorify Chinese culture and downplay role of prosperous Korean people.

Dishonorable.

We feel as bloated imperialist budget of $135,000,000 USD is too large and we can produce copy of film in 2 months for 10% cost. We do not have Korean equivalent of Matt Damon however.

This message is to be relayed to Mr. Defoe and Mr. Damon and staff of Legendary East productions to colaborate with DPRK on own version of film or we will produce and distribute film by 8/2015.

The Great Wall of China has long been the object of many a man's admiration. However, if you think you know the reason behind this ancient wonder's creation, then you ought to prepare for your mind to be blown.

Behind "The Great Wall"

This year, a movie of epic proportions has started production, and it boasts not only of an ambitious concept but also a star-studded cast comprising of some of the most prominent figures from both Hollywood and the Chinese cinema.

Revolving around the majestic Great Wall, the film mashes elements from science fiction and history as it sets up its characters in 15th century China. Where's the sci-fi in that, you ask? Well, apparently, the "real" reason the Wall was erected is a large-scale, unrecorded invasion of giant mythical creatures--aliens, perhaps? In this grievous battle against the supernatural, humankind opted to fortify its defenses.

Proof of copy:

The passphrase is: daybaby1

HAIL GRAND MARSHALL KIM AND PROSPERITY FOR DPRK!

Regards,

Admin General Koi Moonbat DPRK Dark Marketplace


Comments


[28 Points] lynen:

What the actual fuck.


[12 Points] eatmybreadpudding:

I love this community


[11 Points] None:

Omg I tooooo high And I'm reading this like wtf is this guy evening trying to say, counterfeit movies? Idk bro. It's long shot


[8 Points] IGetDankShit:

May I humbly remind you that Matt Damon has not shown himself to be a loyal supporter of the DPRK. His likeness was shamefully used in a U.S. propaganda film which disgraced the Glorious Leader and brought embarrassment to North Korea. Perhaps it would be wise to use this film as a vehicle for revenge on more than one enemy, a plan that would reassert dominance and position yourself very handsomely within the Glorious Leader's ranks.


[5 Points] KimJongUntouchable:

Hello,
I am currently in Beijing and will be in Pyongyang this weekend.
White enough to pass for Matt Damon to a DPRK audience.
Please consider me for this most illustrious position.
Regards,
KimJongUntouchable


[3 Points] sobulbous:

We feel as bloated imperialist budget of $135,000,000 USD is too large and we can produce copy of film in 2 months for 10% cost. We do not have Korean equivalent of Matt Damon however.

Ummm the Supreme Leader is very Damon.


[3 Points] crondom90:

This is fucking hilarious.


[2 Points] II-NataYmleg:

Hiya,

as many of you can imagine, I'm currently on my flight from Hamburg to Asunción, now that my whole South Asian business is in shards. I'm in disgrace with North Korea and The Dear Admin General of DPRK market because I betrayed them using devious wording. Also I fear that some of Putin's ex-KGB friends are on the plane too; some smeary metal prospectors from India currently stuck in Kunduz among smoking ruins want to see me dead rather sooner than later; and an Alibaba scammer who was transported spectacularly over the Hong Kong-China border by being fired from a mortar will certainly go after me as soon as the authorities release him.

In short, I have enemies everywhere. However, as an unmoralic and selfish being, I would hereby like to apply as a lead due to my extraordinary looks. Would like to be paid in uranium ammo and a few bags of potatoes in order to survive a few months in Paraguay before carefully moving towards Venezuela on foot.


[1 Points] auto587643:

Why don't you guys post this also on Legendary East Productions' website? I'm sure they have an area on their site where you can send them a message. Don't know what they'll say back though...


[1 Points] MitalikaSucks:

Count me in XoXo


[1 Points] None:

Will trade for porn VHSs worth approximately 140 million us


[1 Points] None:

[removed]


[1 Points] funnylooking_LA_dude:

Get in touch with me.


[1 Points] None:

I respectfully request to be an extra in your film dear General Koi? Oh how I long to serve the Gods of the Korean kingdom. All heil Kim!


[1 Points] None:

[removed]


[1 Points] FagDamager:

I can use Final Cut Pro and provide funny adlibs in an accent that is foreign to you


[1 Points] None:

Trolls gonna troll.


[0 Points] None:

your movies gonna suck a phat one , no one will watch it and theres a reason for a 135mill budget .


[-4 Points] alphabayuser:

Are you considered "smart" by North Korean standards. If so, that explains a lot.

You want to make a film, you go to a film making subreddit. You want to buy/sell drugs on .onions then you come here. Got it?

Edit: Small PSA: do not download those pdf files unless you know what the fuck you are doing.