[Update] Grandmother shipped me my 'birthday present' yesterday; it was suppose to arrive today - it is nearing 4PM and still no sign of package...

Im not even joking when i say there is dog food in the package. My girlfriend left a bag of dog food last time we visited, and my grandmother insisted on shipping it to me - along with a bunch of my grandfather's flannels and a birthday card..

Now reading all the stupid shit i see pop up around this sub has me paranoid that granny's package is being investigated - especially since i requested that free netflix account from one of the agents posting here a few days ago...

God forbid i have grandma text me the tracking number, i could only imagine receiving an auto-corrected string of giberish - id rather speculate with a bunch of noids and hypothesize the exact location of missing package 370

...seriously just want that birthday card so i can pay this months utility bill

Edit: Package arived at exactly 5:15, everything was delivered. Grandma even threw in a few extra cups of dog food and more flanels than i expected. Seriously, Gramgram hooked it up. I even got an applebees and AMC giftcard, like a dinner movie combo -- except i have to drive +35 miles in three different directions to get to an applebees. thoughtful gift tho...

But what i did find intriguing -- is that exactly an hour after arrival, a random person knocked on my door under the alias of a former resident of my residency. My initial reaction was CIA, because i did apply to become an agent a few weeks ago [shhh dont tell anybody], and he said that he had a package coming for him, with his name on it - which is a perfect cover for an agent intercepting a package conveniently drop shipped to an ex-resident.


Comments


[21 Points] hugsfordrugs:

I have no clue what I just read.


[11 Points] galaxyandspace:

Sometimes, it is best to post when you are sober bro...


[9 Points] PeterSutcliffe:

Put the meth pipe down and get some sleep bro.


[7 Points] c21h23n05:

Real dog food. Agents. Free netflix. I feel like this is a win.


[5 Points] None:

Ummmmm


[4 Points] synikal12:

What in the actual fuck did I just read? Please speak English. PLS OP.


[4 Points] mdmathrowaway539:

Kibbles n bits or alpo, nigga?


[4 Points] DinglebellRock:

Schizophrenia it's like being on helluva good drugs... or something besides what's the difference between a 13 year old girl. An orange because a vest has no sleeves. Kind of like taking a holographic combat spoon and circling it lightly on the glass edge of a floating candle under a ghost moon near the crossroads of our youth. Danger might be will or it might be Robinson but know for sure that the present is a gift from the past that provides a mirrored edgewise glimpse into a multiverse of a future. Take it or leave it or wash that grey right outta your hair because Jimmy crack corn and I don't care.


[3 Points] Comp13:

Its like I tried understanding it but..


[3 Points] DontGiveAFuxtable:

If I had a dollar for every time this has happened to me....I would be in debt


[3 Points] dogeis:

SWIM tryed a grandapas flanel and died that afternoon was ordered on DNM


[2 Points] None:

Yea man.


[2 Points] None:

Chill out you paranoid fuck, the mail service is notoriously unreliable


[2 Points] airchompers:

Why didn't Nan ship UPS or Fedex?


[2 Points] PeyoteFire:

My eyes hurt reading this. I'm so confused.


[2 Points] asdfaf21:

You lost me at "But what i did find intriguing -- is that exactly an hour after arrival, a random person knocked on my door under the alias of a former resident of my residency. My initial reaction was CIA, because i did apply to become an agent a few weeks ago [shhh dont tell anybody], and he said that he had a package coming for him, with his name on it - which is a perfect cover for an agent intercepting a package conveniently drop shipped to an ex-resident."


[1 Points] dastampmasta:

And you came on here to post this why? Is anyone else here confused?