I missed Tinfoil Tuesday but have a hunch

I think we've convinced ourselves that /u/quantikxanax is part of some huge organization. When in reality its a group of high school kids that are in way over their heads. They just get together once a week to smoke/play smash bros melee and draw straws for who ships out packs that week. They don't actually have a rotary pill press either. One of them has been whacking it 6 times a day since 6th grade and developed ungodly grip strength. They pooled their allowances together and bought a hand press and since then this kid has developed a grip strength that would make a Darth Vader force choke blush, thus developing the press that we now know and love. One of them got an MIP at a high school party and they thought LE was closing in so they wanted to lay low for a while. The new kid who had moved in from Alaska (AKA /u/lordxanax ) had rich ass parents who were never home so they moved some of the operation to his house. They had a couple other vacation homes they only used one week a year which led to the birth of /u/alpraking , /u/xanaxbaron and possibly others. LE can't catch on because they never actually spend any of the money. They just blow it all on those bitcoin gambling sites, leaving just enough to reup on alp. They will eventually all make it in the end as the guy who has been pressing this entire time becomes the next hand wrestling world champion. They take the 20,000$ grand prize and rent out a place in the lower middle class part of town and decide to call it quits. They don't live a lavish life but they spend the rest of their days smoking BC bud and reminiscing about past adventures. Like when they dared a frenchie to toboggan across the border for shits and gigs, and how they laughed their asses off cause the cops didn't buy the "16 year old paid me to do it" story he was spittin. The now World champion hand wrestler finally gets laid after flashing his world champion ring at some dyke on his 21st bday. Thus ending his serial whacking habit and returning balance to the force. Sorry guys i'm bucked the fuck up on meth rn. But what do you think, tinfoil?..........or something greater?


Comments


[43 Points] AlpraKing:

name: DEA-VAN-024

Btw I don't smoke bud, only hash oil

I do a lot of coke too. Its Canadian Forger's fault. God damn. Coke this high quality should be illegal.


[34 Points] TheDoubleDecker:

Go to sleep.


[11 Points] Vendor_BBMC:

Whether Quantik is a genius or stupid, he's better than everybody else at what he does. Everybody thinks "how hard can it be?"

Make fun of Quantik if you like, but he's better than you. That's why he's Quantik and you are just...you. You don't become the dominant manufacturer of anything if you are stupid. It doesn't hurt him that fools like you underestimate him. he probably depends on it.

Nobody ever bets on Quantik, have you noticed? They always bet against him, lose their money, and don't understand how an idiot like Quantik did it


[5 Points] None:

I have left reddit for a reddit alternative due to years of admin mismanagement and preferential treatment for certain subreddits and users holding certain political and ideological views.

The situation has gotten especially worse since the appointment of Ellen Pao as CEO, culminating in the seemingly unjustified firings of several valuable employees and bans on hundreds of vibrant communities on completely trumped-up charges.

The resignation of Ellen Pao and the appointment of Steve Huffman as CEO, despite initial hopes, has continued the same trend.

As an act of protest, I have chosen to redact all the comments I've ever made on reddit, overwriting them with this message.

If you would like to do the same, install TamperMonkey for Chrome, GreaseMonkey for Firefox, NinjaKit for Safari, Violent Monkey for Opera, or AdGuard for Internet Explorer (in Advanced Mode), then add this GreaseMonkey script.

Finally, click on your username at the top right corner of reddit, click on the comments tab, and click on the new OVERWRITE button at the top of the page. You may need to scroll down to multiple comment pages if you have commented a lot.

After doing all of the above, you are welcome to join me on a reddit alternative!


[4 Points] None:

Dude, love the username.


[3 Points] Chardlz:

Returning balance to the force

fucking lost it +1


[3 Points] throwmyhoe:

Seems plausible...


[2 Points] None:

This man speaks the truth


[2 Points] _FreshAccount_:

Who has "hunches"...? Cops have hunches, you are a cop. the end.


[1 Points] Hansbald:

This is perfect.


[1 Points] stilldogman:

And one of em is Patrick Swayze in Road House, in which a creepy thug with a dangly cross earring comes after him and gets him in a good head lock, and then gets real close to Swayze's ear only to whisper, "I used to FUCK guys like you in prison."

But before P. Sze gets fucked like guys in prison, he rips the creep's throat out.


[1 Points] BrlingtonCOATfactory:

All this fud and tinfoil bullshit is what really puts a damper on this sub. IMHO


[1 Points] None:

I can't believe this story.

Only 1 of the group of teenage boys is whacking it 6 times a day for years? Yeah. No.

More likely they all end up completing for the champion ring and a dispute over who gets to wear the ring on the extra day of the week leads to their eventual arrests.


[0 Points] vaginaYERP:

I'm pretty sure you're on to something with the rotary presses. They must a chinese sweatshop army.


[0 Points] d3emSt3rz:

LOL'd hard... I think Quantik is a smart ass mofo and he's obv doing some shit right... but this is a top notch tinfoil post