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I thought my favorite Thai hooker liked women more than men but that turned out to be bollocks. She enjoys a sesh with the ledge Tim Farron as long as he wears loads of makeup (smokey eye gets her wetter than Glasgow autumn), a latex teddy, and hooker heels. I get in bed, she starts feeling my muscles, and before I know it she's giving me a blow job, with lots of eye contact. Seems rude to say no.
Sometimes, the magical properties of a wank help - if you're awake, it makes you sleepy. If you're sleepy, it wakes you up. But I need to go down the 24 hour garage and buy some more spunk. I'm an old man and her constant sexual demands means there's tumbleweed coming out instead of jizz.
My usual response would be to make some speed or meth and stay awake for a week, then crash. But I'm saving all of my Black Magic for the fine folks at Abraxas.
Oh, just one more thing (as Columbo would say). I'm considering whipping up a batch of Methcathinone. Its great, I've used it before , but it makes you wee a lot. I keep getting up in the night busting for a slash, or with one of those "I need a piss" hard-ons that she mistakes for me wanting more sex. I don't, I just want to sleeeeeep.
Now I'm on Reddit, watching GMTV. I'm on the dole. I should be in bed til Jeremy Kyle comes on. I hear a knock on my door...Trappy_Pandora is that you? I think it might be Umbreon asking if I still have Verto's business card. Stings, doesn't it?