Addicts of dnm, help me understand addiction

Hi I'm a pretty heavy user of many drugs, weed, xanax, heroin, mdma, coke, baths salts but Im having a hard time understanding a family members situation. My brother is a heroin addict and has ruined every relationship he had, gf of 6 years that left, family has turned away and all he cares about is dope. He says he can't help it but I'm having a hard time believing him because I use the same drugs and don't let my use impact my life. He's never had a job or worked he just robs shit. I understand the physical side of addiction but I've never had trouble with a mental addiction where I'd put family relationships on the line for dope. So I guess is my question is, is addiction where you just can't help yourself real? To me it seems like he only acts like he wants to be sober to keep people happy but all he wants to do is get high. I've always just had to deal with a shitty few days after I stopped using and then be good.

TLDR: is addiction real or do people just not give a shit and say they're powerless as an excuse for their behavior so they don't have to own up to things?

Edit: I'm really not trying to sound like a judgy douche it's just confusing to me.


Comments


[13 Points] IDontSellXanniesNoMo:

People have different brains that react differently when you put chemicals in them.


[9 Points] None:

[deleted]


[4 Points] dlayover123:

Addiction is REAL and it is POWERFUL. I find it pretty odd that you can stop all of those drugs you say you are a heavy user of, especially the xanax and heroin as they would cause severe withdrawal effects. You and your brother share the same DNA so it's understandable that you both are like this. However, it's the same with an alcoholic; there are functioning alcoholics and there are those that simply don't give a shit about anything and will ruin any relationship as long as they know where their next drink is coming from. There are ALWAYS underlying factors that attribute to addiction, especially drug addiction. Maybe you don't have such intense issues and your brother does and has absolutely no coping skills. You can't throw stones at glass houses bud. Just because you might not feel a certain way binging, doesn't mean those feelings don't exist.


[3 Points] Theeconomist1:

It's very real and while I'm not in that same situation I can see how it could get there. I've been an opioid user for two decades, pretty heavy the last decade or so. While my family has never suffers due to my addiction, the reason isn't Bc I handle it better than others or am stronger mentally. Simple fact is I can afford my addiction and I'm very functional with my addiction. If the cards were dealt differently, I could see a downward spiral like that. So I don't negatively judge another who has a different outcome than I with their addiction. Opioids have a certain hold on you that make you forgo everything else - if you have to. If you don't have to and can afford it and work etc, it can be something fairly easy to hide.

Short answer is addiction is very real and will make you do things you never thought you'd do to feed it.


[3 Points] DarkKnight_1111:

Speaking from the viewpoint of a heroin/meth/xanax addict, yes, addiction is very real. And when you are so deep into it NOTHING matters. I would always assume whatever I did to my family that they would get over it in time and they would understand my situation so maybe they would have some sympathy. I played that card alot to get my shit. Is it fucked up? Absofuckinglutely. Did I care at the time? Of course I cared at the time, but I cared more about getting well enough to eat and sleep and not be in horrendous pain all day and night. You are lucky if your situation is how you describe it and I can honestly say I have never met another heroin user like yourself. You are playing with fire though, im sure you already know that but its going to continually get worse for you, im tellin ya. You cant use those drugs and have a normal life where you arent lieing and stealing and hurting people, eventually it will grab ahold of you and you will be in the exact same position as your bro. Good luck, I truly mean that.


[2 Points] None:

Yes it is real. Go check out a meth head in that part of town. Gives zero fucks about anything, not water, food, tits, nothing. Just wants that rock. Same with a crack head. Heroin is more subtle. But is gets a hold of you just the same. You think if you get high it will all be better. Nothing else matters.

Different things get different people. I stopped opiates maybe 5 times in my life. But drinking. I can drink till there is no more and I still want more. Did it for 40 years. Should be dead from it.

Picking your drugs wisely is a good thing to do. Is meth fun. Absolutely. Does it come with a few issues absolutely.


[2 Points] droppingwhen:

Yeah I can't help myself, I've been trying for about a year, /u/TheEconomist1 can vouch for me there. If I'm on the streets and withdrawing, you bet your pretty ass I'll be hitting people up or breaking out to go find someone. Just did that today. I wont hurt anyone, or stick a gun up to someone, or sell my ass; but I will find a way no matter what to get it. My family knows that I'm an addicted and after the talks and shit, that still hasn't stopped me.

If there is a devil, he's in pill form no doubt.

But 99% of the time I can afford my habit cos I make good money so yeah. Right now I'm just waiting on my DrRx pack to come in.


[2 Points] throwdnmawayplz:

It's real. Some people are able to do addictive drugs occasionally, recreationally, without becoming addicted. Others aren't. I think it has a lot to do with different brain chemistries. Perhaps drugs feel different to different people, scratch a different itch, and the mental aspect becomes overpowering along with the physical shittiness of withdrawals. I know for me the first time I took an opiate drug I knew I was never going to forget how perfect that was and I continued seeking it out. There's a reason they call it "chasing" the dragon, for some people life has never been better than it was when they took that first hit and you never forget how great it was to feel whole and happy that way, so easy. Sorry I wrote a book.


[2 Points] bobbiggs69:

Addiction is real homey. Your brother is totally engulfed in it and until he sees a reason on his own to stop, he's not coming back. Unfortunately, that usually takes hitting bottom.

Just imagine that you found a switch that you could flip that put your brain and your whole body into good mode, no matter what else was going on in your head. Good that's better than sex, better than the best you've ever felt. What would you give up to keep hitting that switch? If your friends and family told you that you had to stop hitting it, would you listen? What if you found out that when you did stop hitting it, you would get extremely sick for several days. A sickness that's so uncomfortable that you want to die and you can't even sleep through it? Your options become feel super good or feel super bad. Could you stop hitting the switch?

Heroin is Pandora's box. If you don't know what's in it, you're fine. But when you do, it's over...


[2 Points] Neophyte-:

You can't understand, a addiction is a disease not rational choice, have a read of this http://www.hencewise.com/addiction/


[1 Points] pagonsMC:

ur one of the lucky few then, dont keep pushing ur luck though few more yrs an you might be next to him. (not to be mean, an i hope not. i wouldnt wish that on anyone.

well could be this.....its something like 75% of herion addicts had something bad happen to them eariler in life(beat as a kid, sexual abuse??) its really more that thing they have a real hard time dealing with, thats where H comes in, dulls the pain their hiding.


[1 Points] HushUp7:

Some people's minds are not stable when addicted to drugs (even when not addicted)


[1 Points] None:

When I was in rehab when I would say "I want to be/get sober" what I'd really mean was I want to want to get sober. Didn't actually want to. Now I just don't give a fuck. I like to be fucked up all day everyday! Lol


[1 Points] kralleo:

Only addiction i have is for ciggaretes. and i really cant quit. i used a lot of things and still continue to use time to time but never had a craving for anything. without weed i cannot sleep and i become a little aggresive. but not one person noticeses it. like "is something wrong with you?" never happend. never hurt anyone. even told my parents. they disagreed with my choices. but even they admitted they thought drug users become skinny and dumb. but we didnt realize any difference.


[1 Points] hoping4uuk:

Have you had similar lives? Addiction can sometime rear its ugly head after a stressful/traumatic event. Drugs appear to make those times 'easier'. Married for 37 years sounds as if you may have a stable base, So why are you a 'heavy' user of drugs? and not a 'recreational' user? Come downs and wihdrawals are much harder wih nothing to do, no-one there, crappy surroundings and shit loads of self loathing, Getting tanked up again is much preferable. It is a chicken/egg catch22 situation, more fulfilled life less chance of addiction, more drug use less fulfilled life


[1 Points] None:

Addiction is real but only 10% of drugs users will become one.

It comes down to your state of life. If your jobless and have an addiction your going to do whatever to get the money to sustain your habit while if you have a decent income your able to support it. I believe in as long as your not hurting anyone besides yourself you can do it as long as you want. It's your body not anyways else and besides who really wants to stop when they're told to stop?

I have to admit though if i didn't have my habit i would be a lot richer lol but wouldn't we all. Sometimes i cringe when i log onto to alphabay and see how much i've spent :)

Do i regret any of it though? Not really i've experienced a lot of fun things which "str8 edge" people will never experience. Plus i'm still young and don't plan on having this lifestyle for much longer.

Xanax is my DOC nightly habit of 5mg-8mg before bed and if i think work is going to be rough 2mg-4mg to deal with people. Just have to remember everyone has a vice some are just worse than others.


[1 Points] None:

its always the underlying factors, as someone else stated. a person might use a drug to help out their work flow, and discover all the other upsides to using it. then one day some bad shit happens, they turn to that drug for the euphoria, the escape. thats how it starts. thats how i started with xanax. started using it to help me be more social, then i started using it for everything else. i wasnt hooked long, but i can imagine how being a hardcore addict is. then some people strong arent as strong minded as others. i wasnt mentally addicted, my body had become physically dependent on it. in my head i wanted to quit, but i knew what would happen if i stopped cold turkey so i got help from a dr. my brother is on coke and xanax hard. i asked him flat out if he wants to quit, he said he doesnt know. i could never understand why someone would actually want to keep doing that to themselves. so many different factors man


[1 Points] None:

I'd love to do a shit ton of heroin on day , never done it out I'm sure comming right to the edge of oding would feel amazing , but I'm too pussy and scared I'll stay hooked so I don't even dable


[1 Points] dnm1029384756:

once you're stuck, the only way out feels like using. so you use, and get more stuck. no one knows when they first got stuck though.


[1 Points] altecMI:

The way I find it is, addiction ruin lives, not just yours but others. Just because your family doesn't know, sometimes it's best, addiction can end in tragery. You need someone close knowing your lifestyle, they can save your life. Such as getting arrested or ODing. You can be as responsible as you can be be, however, eventually something will catch up to you. Sometimes power over comes power. As being a xanax addict and alcoholic. I can't say no to a drink fuck it one drink is fine then it goes from there. Next day im buying liters saying ill just have 1, 2, 3, and fuck it lets make a drink. Or Xanax, ight one got me chil today, tomorrow maybe one or one and a quarter, oh it's the weekend and I dont have shit to do lets do 5 then fuck it's tomorrow. I feel shit i need 2 because taper that shit. But cigarettes i can smoke then quit no problem i cant see how people can just smoke everyday, after a meal, mid day, that shit gross to me and makes you smell people think youre gonna get cancer and im not sneaking a cigarette like a 12 year old. But if I'm partying sweet menthols. :) maybe it is douchey but to each their own.


[1 Points] Tune-chi:

He may be self medicating for an undiagnosed mental illness. You are right to investigate the differences between physical and psychological addiction. Has he ever seen a psychologist? Has he tried suboxone?