I walked through a blizzard today to get drugs.

I've been waiting on a medium sized Priority box since last week and it wasn't at the PO yesterday. I sighed, realizing the impending storm was soon approaching; Martin Luther King Day, combined with extreme weather hadst delayed my parcel.

Today as I awoke... I said "fuck this shit," donned my warmest business casual clothing available... took some diazepam, and trodded a mile or so along through untouched snowbanks and across sleet covered roads - usually more frequented.

I stopped and gentrified myself a bit by grabbing an overpriced, fair traded coffee (black with a small amount of turbano sugar) and approached my target.

The office itself is small, it could be called a suite. It's staffed by people that look like they're always 2 days from retirement... who give no fucks and have no clue... as they hand my box of contraband over the counter. Accepting it gracefully, I make friendly banter and learn more about the intricacies of USPS and the idiosyncrasies of its employees.

I've been doing this for years now.

I just applied to be a mail carrier. Turns out the lady who handed me my parcel was the manager.

Wish me luck.


Comments


[62 Points] OldschoolSR:

Their should be a Mail Carrier for Darkness Society.


[62 Points] EgoEchoes:

"Back in my day we had to walk 4 miles in the snow to pick up our darknet drugs"


[23 Points] now_its_a_dick_joke:

This is right out of Sun Tzu.

Good on you.


[9 Points] Dan_Swagroyd:

we drove


[7 Points] None:

I did this often last year and have done it once now this Winter. It's only about three miles back and forth with shortcuts. But holy breezus it is windy, miserable, and fucking frigid. Walked through a buncha snow that was this deep (go ahead, doxx my pants bitch).

Oh, the things I'll do for psychedelics and stimulants...


[2 Points] ronstoppable420:

Was totally expecting this to be a sarcastic post about just walking out to your mailbox to get your drugs


[2 Points] thepostalinspector:

I've looked over your application and someone will be contacting you shortly to discuss employment opportunities.


[1 Points] None:

Good for you! Set an example for these lazy cats around here lol


[1 Points] None:

Kid has it all planned out.


[1 Points] trapboe:

You should have just sledded your way down there.


[1 Points] castratedXenophobe:

I love your username OP. What natural disasters would you walk through for a dwarf cock?


[1 Points] counterstruck217:

haha thatta boy!


[1 Points] coltsrule7:

Always good to get out and go for a little walk in the cold. Feels good! I walk 1.5 miles in only sweatshirt, no gloves+carrying things, so it can get a bit nippy. Today was only 2 Degrees F windchill so yea my hands only have slight nerve damage they were blue like 80% of the walk. lol. At least I wasn't locked out of the house again, thats when it gets scary. Luckily I found a ladder to climb up on balcony and break in to the window(Third Time Ive had to do that) so yea need to rembemer key!


[1 Points] Shill_Bill:

2 things things this guy walks through snow for... Drugs and blow jobs


[1 Points] OldschoolSR:

I walked dirty often .if are in a large population. Odds are low... If you are Caucasian


[1 Points] Thoughtsofamaniac:

Hell I've walked over a mile through ice and snow (not blizzard, fine, but a solid covering of several inches) just because that was the only way to get beer and me and my pals really wanted some damn beer.

Once you stay through a hurricane evac to get laid you start to realize men who want something will simply do some crazy shit to get it.


[1 Points] JburnaDNM:

Ummm you cannot just apply for a mail carrier and you have to take an exam before even being interviewed.


[1 Points] FuckingRandysGut:

Did the same thing this mourning, Post Office was closed.


[1 Points] dnmthrowawayfoe:

NP: Meatloaf - I will do anything for drugs.

And I will do that.


[1 Points] AlchemicalShaman:

Great Spirit Says: When life ascends a blizzard. Build a snowman out of drugs


[1 Points] BibbityBoppity2:

In Brooklyn by chance?


[0 Points] None:

[deleted]


[0 Points] Llamaondrugs:

Tell me where you're located! I want you delivering my drugs :D


[0 Points] sdfhgdhjbdafcadv:

trodded

That's a made up word.


[-7 Points] None:

Molly will keep ya warm in that blizzard haha


[-8 Points] NigrGravedigger:

Woah dude, you're really cool. Tell me more about how cool your addiction is.