Am I considered an asshole for disputing an international pack that has taken 13 days? I just want to hold off the auto FE, but I don't want the vendor to feel like I'm an asshole, I sent him a message yesterday saying that if it didn't land today I'd have to open a dispute to hold off the auto FE.
Another question is how do these disputes work? Does the mod create a conversation between us 3 to work out the details?
Also the vendor says in his profile 10 days for world wide and many reviews are saying 8-9 days to get to my country.
You're not an asshole, you're using escrow properly. Open a dispute, letting the moderator and vendor both know you are just extending the auto-finalize date.