Do any of you feel like a "Walter White" ? or is it just me.

Okay so I have to ask everyone this. Im not sure if this exact thing has been discussed before in this way so here goes:

Basiclly, you are a white guy, raised by good family in the suburbs etc, grew up in a great family etc. But on the inside at some point in time you turned to the black sheep of yourself you never should be. You might have a gf and she thinks your innocent but you secretly are a vendor or something like that. You value family over everything but at the same time have a addiction to the "game" because of the money or power etc, maybe you got bored of "life" and said fuck it?

Basically, you have loved one(s) that you are hiding your dark activities from because they would never accept you if you said anything, and if they found out your life would be fuckd. You are torn on wtf to do. You hate a 9/5 everyday life because it depresses you but at the same time you just want to be happy with your family.

Anyone?...well, I was one. And it ruined my life. I now spend most of my days regretting being selfish and wishing if I could use a time machine to fix things


Comments


[43 Points] XmarieZ:

I can totally relate to good ol' Wally White. I too have a retarded son who just fucking loves breakfast foods


[6 Points] thebaye:

Actually, yeah. Won't get into details either, but I first started buying sheets of NBOMe on silkroad way back in the day and slowly expanded into other classes of drugs over the years. It's still great for me, I consider myself a (mostly) responsible user and still buy all kinds from time to time, albeit a little less than I used to.

But I got one of my family members into the NBOMe when they were previously barely experienced with anything besides weed. It had a profound impact on that family member, and not necessarily in a good way. Now, they're struggling with all kinds of problems, few of which are actually related to drugs in particular, but it certainly doesn't help, and the rest of the family blames it on drugs anyway, which complicates the situation. All of that in large part due to me introducing that person to drugs I got through the darkweb.

Other than that, I don't flip my wares as much as I used to, but I do from time to time and it's not fun anymore, it's really quite stressful/annoying. Back in the day it was some nice money on the side while also offsetting the cost of my own drug interests, and I got to spread the joy of research chemicals and such (with accompanying proper education of course). Nowadays it seems all business and no fun and I'm constantly just worried about getting caught, which sucks and makes me want to not spread around the substance love, but that means even less fun when you're doing them alone.

Idk, feelswhateverman. I still think it's fucking awesome that the darknet spirit is still alive, maybe not quite in the ferocity that it used to, but the fact that this exists blows my mind and makes me grateful.


[3 Points] HempLover420:

What were you selling ?


[2 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] CaliJ78:

Wow exactly like Walts because that was a pretty crazy ending he had. Did you get in trouble with the law?


[1 Points] CaliJ78:

Bummer to hear and have lost a lot of trust by my close ones because if my addictions and hiding everything


[1 Points] CocaineNose:

not at all. Im just a weekend warrior. plus the drug I do the most is legal in my state.


[1 Points] cashpool00:

I'm a meth addict and even I think you're being a bit grandiose but I'm sorry to hear that your dealing interfered with your personal life. Xanax is a hell of a drug


[1 Points] jaypay23:

But but....... I grew up poor officer.


[1 Points] MarcusForrealius:

More like the Black Frank White.


[1 Points] the_fuzzpupp:

I relate more to Tony Montana


[1 Points] inthea215:

I got addicted to selling drugs long before I ever touched one.

Even now I've been off heroin for a year and also quit dealing. I rarely think about pills or dope but think about pushing everyday. I get cravings that make me hurt.