Stages of Pack Paranoia

Day 1: "Order is placed and has been shipped." (feeling pretty good)

Day 2: "Patiently awaiting my goodies." (feeling excited)

Day 3: "Well mailbox is empty.Surely tomorrow." (feeling a little let down)

Day 4: "This is strange, never takes this long. Was that the same mailman?" (feeling discouraged)

Day 5: "Empty again WTF!? Is that dude on the sidewalk taking my picture?" (nervous)

Day 6: "What is going on? Why are all these cars driving so slow in front of my house? Was that another unmarked police car?" (Freaking Out)

Day 7: "I'm 100% sure that's an undercover SUV parked across the street!" (FULL BLOWN PANIC MODE)

Day 8: "I have buried everything illegal in the neighbors yard. I have purchased a plane ticket to South America. I have a can of gas and matches ready..." (I have accepted my fate)

Day 9: MESSAGE FROM VENDOR--"We never sent your order. Can you please resend your address? Sorry for the mix-up and come back and see us." ( :( )


Comments


[38 Points] druggieslut:

You're totally a cop, there's a cop van right there, and there, see that brown van? Totally cops. You're a cop.

Aw man, I was just trying go get high. You know, cops have to tell you they're cops if you ask, its in the constitution.

Are you a cop?

No.

drug sale

YOURE UNDER ARREST!!!!!


[16 Points] None:

I checked my drop after hours a minute ago, empty box, and as I walked out a car drove by, (the parking lot was empty save for this car) slowed, driver stared directly at me and sped off.

I have done enough meth/crack to know when a situation warrants actual paranoia and when I need to post an "am I being paranoid?" thread.


[9 Points] thelastvirgin:

I said I'm sorry bli-inds, I never meant to peek throu-oo-ough, I never meant to make you cry but tonight, I'm hiding in my closet.


[8 Points] Theeconomist1:

Whoa are you still waiting on a pack???

I just curse at the mailman these days. It's that silent, muttering curse. I ask why am I so plagued by misfortune to not get my pack in like every other asshole in the world does. And I lament how unfair is life and how I got a raw deal in this world.

Day 9 addendum - assume vendor is LE and needs you to put that final nail in the coffin


[5 Points] ar0undthew0rld:

story of my fucking life, always super paranoid and it seems "special mail" is always the one that fucks up and gets delays anytime i order anything normal from amazon it always arrives fast as lighting


[3 Points] dnmarsehole:

is this your face book status updates


[3 Points] tryptdn:

"Oh shit, did they disguise it like the life insurance offers I constantly get and throw away? Time go look through the recycle bin."


[3 Points] usermayne9:

Nah right after day 5 if I paid for 2-3 day shipping ill straight up accept i probably lost my money and try and figure out wtf happened on vendors side


[2 Points] saddatay:

I have a NestCam set up to monitor the front of my house. When I'm expecting a pack, I have the Nest app on my phone or via my browser running full time, and I watch the mailbox in real time. It's obsessive, yes, but it beats checking the mailbox every 15 minutes like a freak.


[2 Points] None:

I always order on Friday night so it ships Saturday and I don't have to start worrying until Monday, lol. By then, I spend the morning in sheer paranoia until two hours after my package comes. So my cycle is thusly:

DAY 1: Order-impatience

Day 2: Shipped-sweet, can't wait

Day 3: Still waiting

Day 4: building anxiety. Wake up early and part the curtains so I can see clearly outside.

Day 5: Why isn't it here yet?

Day 6: NO MAIL? Has it come yet? (looks down the street for mailbox red flags of neighbors). I swear to god if it comes, I'm never ordering again! Please don't let me get arrested.

Day 7: Package comes. YES!! Lalala. Skips into house and begins planning next order


[1 Points] FartsForUs:

Only a UC would know this. Sus as fuck. Time to clean house.


[1 Points] octomarvel:

If dnms were an actual physical public marketplace, can you imagine how many "you guys are alright, don't go to alphabay/nucleus tomorrow" posts there would be?


[1 Points] gestrolt:

The other day a cop literally was front of my house in a pick up, good news is that possibly my seller didn't ship and that this is very normal in my neighborhood they are all the time hunting weed smokers in the park, maybe they were watching the guys who live in front of me lol.


[1 Points] darknetuser1234:

It never takes you longer than 4 days? Maybe it's because I always do bulk but I always expect 5-14 days. anything below 5 is fast af anything after 14 days is ridiculous


[1 Points] AndThenHeSays4:

You're just trying to stop me from getting away.