I am such a failure

have been trying to get lucy from HoS for almost a month. Now she's stopping listings till all the orders come in. That'll be at least 2-3 more weeks? I just want to try lucy damn it. Thinking maybe it will make me happier, help me cope, give me new perspective. But that's the way my story goes. I keep on missing out. Nobody likes me. It's like a fucking microcosm of my life. I'm so tired. Off to cuddle my cat. Even my cat is intolerant of my whining. I'm crying now. Hahaha. Oh damn. It's so strange, crying and seeing my words on the screen. Pain, sadness, tiredness.I don't know how to put it to words. I hate myself. I wish i wish i wish my consciousness was in another being. There's too much pain in the world. I want to see beautiful swirly colours, and feel what people feel on acid. I dunno. I'm dying. Have to find another vendor, I've probably annoyed house too much and this is the final straw. I guess blue viking or smth. Or maybe I'll forget i ever wrote this and just buy from her anyway. Who cares right? strangers on the internet. just a transaction. haha. or maybe just not buy. I remember in school once, a 'friend' no toomany identifiers deleted.) . Caused me to become anorexic. Took 2 years to recover. Downhill from there. I'm dying. I'm going mad. Nobody likes me. I don't like this. Why? Why is it like this. Had such a bright future. Gone. Oh the pain. Why must this happen to me? Why can't things go right for once? WHYWHYWHYWhhy. I'm not a bad person. It was okay, before shit really happened and all that health stuff. i had my pick of awesomesauce unis. Had to drop out health reasons. Sorry going on too long. feel free to laugh. i won't be checking in anyway. i could never stand criticism. i cry. i stop crying. the reason i'm crying is still here. what's the use of crying? i know this and still the tears come and my chest hurts. oh the post is a mess. wishing you all beautiful lives, truly.


Comments


[6 Points] throoawayyfoe:

buying bulk LSD from HoS probably isn't a good idea if you just want to try it. BV won't take new customers because he's a dick. Find a vendor that sells single hits. You don't seem stable enough to be doing LSD anyway


[6 Points] magneto111:

Not to be a buzzkill but if this is indicative of your mental health LSD is the last thing you need. I guess there's always a chance you have some sort of epiphany and it makes you become a better person but it can also exasperate these feelings 10 fold and you might have a BAD time


[3 Points] Jay-__:

Wrong...sub?

And I fear you will get hated a little bit more for not using paragraphs.


[3 Points] None:

You should try MDMA instead.


[2 Points] None:

Check out GammaGoblin (I love HoS) though.


[2 Points] Vendor_BBMC:

The world is a beautiful place.

Cheer up!

You sound like a "the glass is half empty" kind of guy. Just know that on LSD, you will have even less control over what you focus on, and you will still be you.

Maybe you should trip with somebody experienced the first time, in case you get into difficulty. Sometimes difficult trips are the ones you learn the most from.

Its always much better if you do an audit of your wellbeing before taking a drug. How do I feel? Is anything wrong? Then write "NOTHING IS WRONG" on a piece of paper. Look at it when you think the world is about to end. Then you realize that you just needed to burp.


[2 Points] athousandshits:

You need mdma, not acid


[1 Points] None:

Don't do LSD, what you need is heroin.

For real you might have a bad trip. Maybe get some shrooms and make sure you have some emergency Xanax.


[1 Points] DrQuarters_:

So HoS is gone even longer now? Holy shit. How unreliable can you be. I hope(and I use the term loosely) she is relocating for OpSec purposes


[1 Points] fuuuuckckckckck:

Buy some heroin instead those guys got their shipping game on point, they're used to serving heroin fiends, you'll get some in like 2-3 days maybe from AlexSosa1KG.


[0 Points] 108080999hahohi:

HoS wrecking lives. The power.


[0 Points] throwawaynoob101:

No.No, not cathartic to write tthis. because the medical problems are still here. no difference. not clinical depression. no. but yes, all that has resulted has made me depressed. I want to turn back time.


[0 Points] None:

HoS is moving smaller non bulk vendors to other vendors.

I honestly do not think you should take LSD seeing how you are typing. Learn to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with substances.

If anything try out some fungi and have some benzos in case you need to abort trip.