To "DNMsSavedMyLife" -- a sensible Benzo regimen

Sorry that you felt like people jumped on you, but their concerns were genuine and well-founded. Benzo withdrawal is no joke and can leave you with permanent neurological damage. And if your mother has a history of klonopin addiction you are at elevated risk of becoming addicted yourself. All that being said, it also sounds like you have real PTSD and anxiety issues and that SSRIs weren't addressing them. So if you have decided the rewards outweigh the risks, here are some thoughts from the Greatest Mind the Darknet Has Ever KnownTM ).

You need a long-lasting benzo for generalized anxiety. The Grand Wizard would recommend starting out with 5mg of diazepam (Valium) or .5mg of clonazepam (Klonopin) two or three times a day. (Morning and bedtime or morning, lunch and bedtime as you prefer). If that doesn't work go up to 1mg. Alprazolam (Xanax) is really best for breakthrough anxiety -- sudden panic attacks rather than ongoing continual worry. Take one as needed, no more than 2 or 3 times a day: 1/4 of a bar or .5mg should do the trick, as alprazolam is far more potent than people realize.

Whatever you do, try to use as little klonopin and xanax as possible. Try to learn coping mechanisms and alternative strategies. (You may also want to attend a few Al-Anon or NA sessions to talk about your parents' drug issues: benzos work best as an adjunct to talk therapy, not as a cure-all).

The Grand Wizard has to repeat again that benzos are highly addictive and benzo withdrawal can kill you. But we also are assuming you know what's going on inside your own head. If you are capable of using them responsibly, benzos will definitely help with your anxiety issues. Instead of lecturing you, the Grand Wizard is going to treat you like an adult and give you such information as he has on the subject. What you do with it is up to you.


Comments


[11 Points] None:

This needs posted in the new addiction thread as well.


[11 Points] krabumple:

/u/grandwizardslair , Master of friendship and kung fu. Brings a smile to see a post from you, as I know it brings sanity and good info.

Seriously, listen to this guy. I took clonazepam for a long time, bad panic myself. I quit that and opiates at once near three months ago, and it was rough. Didn't want to eat, scared to leave the house. I'm still pretty banged up, but it's getting better. They work great, but for me, spending time doing cbt is what really helped. Figuring out how to react to things, how to process my thoughts. It's worth a look, as going all benzo is maybe not what we'd consider a lasting solution. Use them as a crutch until you figure out something better. No shame in that.

If I were to take them again, it would be to go back to sleep, as I often get up in the early morning and can't sleep again, and that's it. A good night's rest lets you handle things a bit easier. I try and process my panic as an indication something is wrong and I need to change something, work harder, make a plan.

Also, have a big surplus on hand, at least 100 mg. DNM's aren't cvs, and who knows if your guy will send you bunk, lose the package, etc. If you're going to do this, keep enough to detox on hand.


[5 Points] air-line:

i had a 6mg a day klonopin addiction for around 5 years. i had to go through benzo withdrawal twice. the first once i reached 9 months and i had to go back on cause i was seriously contemplating suicide cause my family would not support me and was doing the opposite and antagonizing me during the seemingly never ending withdrawal.

i made it through the 2nd round by doing rapid withdrawal with oxcarzepine switching out from valium over twelve days cause by the 2nd time i was way more addicted then the first and could not even taper down.

i lost years of my life to benzo withdrawal and i can't tell you how much i wish somebody would of warned me about its dangers cause i never would of touched them had i of known. instead i just got prescription after prescription from various doctors with no warning what so ever.

when ever i see on these forums people talking about ordering benzos, looking for benzo vendors and generally speaking high praise for these devil pills i want to warn them but i don't cause i figure it won't be welcome.

iv been through heroin withdrawal as well so let me put it into perspective for those who want to understand. benzo withdrawal is about 10,000 times worse then heroin withdrawal so if you really need to calm your anxiety down id find another way but if you have to use a chemical i think you would be better off using smack.

i also withdrew from SSRI's and it was the 2nd worst withdrawal i had been through but i was also already hooked on benzos by that point so they probably made it quite a bit easier then it would of been with out them.


[4 Points] None:

Self medicated use of Clonazepam has definitely helped me in the past. I took 0.5mg once every morning and it made the difference between day and night for anxiety. I never abused it, and even after 5 months of daily use I was able to taper down by spacing my days wider within just three weeks.

For me it also was important to eat healthy and work out next to using Clonazepam, because if I didn't I often felt lethargic or tired after dosing. Before that I played around with Etizolam and Xanax, but they are ridiculously easy to abuse and made everything worse. I didn't like Valium either, it made me much too relaxed and numbed down.


[4 Points] d4rk3:

I stopped eating all benzos just over 6 years ago...July 2009...my muscles STILL twitch occassionally...


[3 Points] hdheuud:

Benzos are the worst thing I have ever been addicted to. Withdrawing from that, is worse than every other drug withdrawal ive had, combined


[4 Points] TheDurantula18:

Another plug you can post here, a bunch of people who are really willing to help work with you and get a taper schedule down, is www.benzobuddies.org. I have heard a lot of good things from people at /r/benzodiazepines, so it might also be a good idea to link them into your original post, I plan on using them myself once I begin to taper down.

Edit: sorry i had .com after benzobuddies, its actually .org, fixed.


[4 Points] GrandWizardsLair:

/u/autopornbot - which beta blockers have you found most effective for this? The Grand Wizard would love to offer a benzo withdrawal kit, although that would most likely be a series of 90 day packs -- a year-long+ taper isn't out of line for a long-term moderate habit, though some medical professionals will try to wean you off in weeks.

/u/TheDurantula18 - thanks for the link to benzobuddies and to the benzodiazepenes subreddit. Even if he decides not to self-medicate the benzos, the OP might find these a useful resource if he wants to talk with someone about his family history of klonopin abuse.

/u/hdheuud - the Grand Wizard spent a little time in the antechamber of that particular hell. It was a nasty place.

/u/d43k3 - we had heard benzo withdrawal can be protracted, but six years? Yikes! It's important to get information like this out there. A lot of people don't understand just how dangerous those little chill pills can be.


[2 Points] TotesMessenger:

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)


[2 Points] inkhead1:

Posts like this make me wonder why I never took a trip to your lair and see what you have for sale.

Could you please give me your exact latitude and longitude? But when I get there, I'm "just browsing". I'll sit there for 20 minutes before I buy one tiny thing so I don't feel like I wasted your time.

Lol but seriously though, you seem like a cool guy :)


[2 Points] ArchangelleBorgore:

I've used diazepam and etizolam to self-medicate anxiety for years and never become dependent. It can be done, it just takes self-control and the understanding that these should not be thought of as recreational drugs (because really the "benzo high" is extremely mild anyway).

But if treating anxiety is your goal absolutely look into CBT as well. Through CBT I have greatly reduced my own benzo use. I now only use them when the CBT methods fail, and I'd say about 60% of the time I can deal with my anxiety through those methods without benzos.


[2 Points] DNMsSavedMyLife:

Thank you for posting this /u/grandwizardslair . Everything you said is dead on and amazing advice. I am trying to seek therapy but I work 50+ hours a week to maintain my lifestyle and it's tough to find time. I would much rather be on a natural therapy than a drug, but I am just happy it saved my life and showed me some light. If it turns me into an addict, well so be it.. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for this pill. Things got really bad really fast, one thing after another... I don't need to give you a sob story to support using, but I want to let you know that this is not my concrete plan for my PTSD and anxiety. This was my moms plan, and I saw how it turned out.. She raised me on about 8mg klonopin a day. Knowing why the way she was now that I've grown up, I completely thank god for benzos. My mom would not be alive and neither would I if it wasn't for them. But the difference is that I learned my lesson growing up, and i want natural therapy. My post was entirely made just to shed some light that the DNM can really save someone's life, then the negativity from people calling me an addict got the worst of me. (I have severe anxiety, depression and PTSD.. I just felt attacked and judged like I always do)


[1 Points] rappercake:

On mobile it looks like you said 5mg Valium or 5mg klonopin, it took me a second to realize the decimal was at the end of the previous line.


[1 Points] autopornbot:

Supplementing benzos with beta blockers can help you need less benzos, too. They do a lot of the same thing but without addiction potential (and are very safe in general).


[1 Points] WolfID:

You are a great vendor and person. Thanks for this.


[1 Points] None:

I've been addicted to clonazepam for over 2 years now, I know I'm ready to get off them as I now despise the drug that I once use to lust but it has just made me a zombie. I've cold turkey'd numerous times only to relapse every time, the longest I think I went was about 1-2 months but it was agony every day being terrified about having a seizure so it led to constant panic attacks and hospitalised me 4 times. Over the numerous times I've cold turkey'd I'm sure I've caused myself permanent brain damage as I just feel numb.

I'm still heavily addicted but there is very little help in the UK for benzo addiction. I'm trying to do a slow taper following the Astons Manual but it's difficult.

Listen to the GrandWizard and don't abuse benzos, they will ruin you.


[1 Points] Harvardnigga:

Smoke weed for neuroprotection and heroin for anxiety


[1 Points] BarsRus:

I'm glad someone re addressed this.

It's an issue that a lot of people need to hear about.


[1 Points] None:

.5mg of clonazepam (Klonopin) two or three times a day. (Morning and bedtime or morning, lunch and bedtime as you prefer). If that doesn't work go up to 1mg.

Woah. That's a fuckton as a "let's see how this feels".


[1 Points] yourgirlisinmybed:

Can anyone recommend a good Klonopin vendor?


[1 Points] spacecataz:

Please read the books "the power of now" and "a new earth"

They helped me realize that I could overcome it on my own and I didn't need to keep taking benzos


[1 Points] imnotfrosty:

The physiological facts of tolerance make a long-term benzo regimen an impossibility. Use exceeding even a few months presents risks associated with dependence that outweigh any benefits. Self-medication, in general, for anxiety becomes an avoidance behavior that reinforces the disease.

"Rehab" programs replace old drugs with new ones like false validation, unfounded affection, irresponsibility/powerlessness, and unearned absolution. Going to meetings with my friends was scarier than when they used. On the upside, many programs at least provide real medicine: isolation from people that helped you use and an alternate view on life. The world gets so little and shitty when you're on drugs.

Most people wrestling with severe anxiety and possibly addiction do not know what's going on inside their head, though some are certain they do. This post reads like a pitch from a dealer, TBH. It offers drugs as a solution and throws in fear of stopping just for good measure.

Thanks for the post, but because of my life experience, its premises do not ring true at all. I will say that advice to seek alternative ways of dealing with anxiety is nice, but rather obvious, as benzos do not actually treat a disease, just symptoms.

As a former GAD/Panic disorder patient, benzoid addict, friend to many of the same, I always strongly advise against self-medication with benzoids. Better to deal with the hell you are in while it is still small than stuff it in the closet and feeding it steak to get fat on for years.

Drugs like me, but there are only 3 things I ever flushed. Coke, oxys, and benzo powder.


[1 Points] GrandWizardsLair:

One take-away from this: the Grand Wizard has decided that we will no longer sell clonotrils. From the start the Grand Wizard's Lair has been about harm reduction -- and getting somebody started on a benzo habit is pretty much the antithesis of that.

Clonotrils are still out there for anyone who really wants them. There are several Indian vendors who sell them on the clearnet and a couple darknet vendors as well. If someone chooses to buy them, they have plenty of opportunities to do so. After reading some of these horror stories, the Grand Wizard chooses not to sell them.


[1 Points] HofmannsHeir:

I wonder how many kids are taking Benzos at the moment, read this post & just now realized the ramifications of what they're doing to their body. Too many of my friends are hooked on them & have zero idea of what they're in for...


[1 Points] AVBforPrez:

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