So last week my girlfriend and I, well, ex as of about 2 days ago went stupidly retarded on my pretty huge stash of DNM substances. at one point I ate about 1.2 grams of meth followed by 0.7 gram of MDMA, All while shooting Ketamine, H, and coke. some DMT later and I feel like I visited a death realm, shit was so fuckin crazy, I overdosed twice on Visionary's fire H TWICE and didnt even remember it due to double fisting Xanaxman presses Im not sure why I was so reckless I have never ever been like that before in my life, it makes NO sense I almost felt like i had absolutely no control over my actions at all. I wish I was all tweeked out on meth so I was compelled to write another 6500 word meth fueled story of it because this was the most intense like 9 days of my life. after all was said and done I was out about $1200 worth of drugs, my sanity, and my pride. So my point is I was basically told spiritually if I start using again I will not survive this time. My problem is, at the beginning of all of this I placed an order with Visionary for some Hearts and Teslas and of course some samples of I dont even remember what but its going to be a huge pack of shit just like the first one. I am kind of worried because Its on its way. Today was day 16 though and it still hasnt showed. What would YOU do in this situation? I have no drugs in my possession right now for the first time since I started using the markets years ago. and I am positive I shouldnt have survived this past 9 days. I feel hella stupid posting this because its absolutely retarded how dumb I was but it really felt like it needed to happen because I am now sober and planning to stay that way out of mortal fear of what I experienced.
Well obviously your body is telling to to stop and take a break. Everyone has different limits and it looks like youve reached yours. Id say that whatever price you paid for that new pack is miniscule compared to your life.
Id say to try and sell what you bought to recoop some funds, but it sounds like youll be too impatient to sell and just end up taking it. Id throw away whatever pack you received immediately. Get clean and if coming back into being a responsible user is for you, you can always come back.
Id choose life over any substance though. Check out /r/addiction or any of the other recovery subs linked in Drugs FAQs.
Be safe brother. Were here for you.